OhMari, the way it works is if the item is shipped "Free Of Board" (a legal term for shipping it to you) then the place where the ultimate delivery takes place is where the taxation occurs. At that point it is called a usage tax rather than a sales tax if you are in another state.
In other words, if they ship it to you then where you receive it is where you are taxed. If they do not have the facilities to collect the taxes from you in your area, then you are on your honor to report it to your local state and pay whatever taxes are relevant. There are very few places that would ever dream about reporting you; indeed, many people don't even know that they are responsible to pay the taxes locally.
If they deliver the item to you for you to take it to another shop for engraving, then you are taking posession at the first shop, so you are charged the tax (Simple Huh?). If you want it shipped after that, it is too late to get the tax back because the sale has already been completed. If it is in the same store, then you can have it engraved before it is rung up on the register, and then have it shipped.
I.E. The Christmas Store in Downtown Disney has the embroidery shop in it, so they could embroider it before the sale is finished then if they ship it to you, you are not charged the local tax.
I am not a CPA, but this was in my Business law classes in College, additionally, part of my responsibilities at work are dealing with shipping problems.
I hope I have helped. It is a bit confusing, if you want clarification, please feel free to PM me.
BTW, This may seem a little off topic, but you cannot really have the discussion about "Shipping Home" without understanding the tax implications...
