Sharing hotel rooms with coworkers?

[NHdisneylover]

Just sayin'...

Many are saying they like the quiet and privacy after working all day. Wouldn't you give your co-worker's needs the same respect? Perhaps they'd be the same. You can be alone in a room with another person. Put your headphones on, read a book...whatever you would do if you were alone.

Sigh-----let me spell it out for you a little better. There are people who travel a lot for work, like my husband. In a slow year he travels 50%--so that is about 10-12 nights per month in a hotel for work---most years it is more like 80%---that's 15-20 nights a month away from his family and in hotel rooms.

During one of those 80% years there was a very stressful mental health issue in our household. DH could not be there to help, or even to be a sounding board, but when things were at their most difficult, the kids or I would talk to him when he got back to the hotel in the evenings--and sometimes we needed to have conversations about how to handle things, etc.
These personal conversations were not something he wanted to be having in a hotel lobby or in front of some random co worker of the week who happened to be travelling to the same plant he was travelling to.

Even under normal, good circumstance, it is stressful to have one parent/spouse gone so often--unable to do odd jobs around the house, not there to have little every day conversations, not around on birthdays or anniversaries or for scout ceremonies and ball games, not available to weigh in on bigger decisions which need to be made quickly (like now, we have bought a condo in a building being erected----a few times the builder has sent over updated plans with electrical or kitchen or whatnot added and needs someone to sign off on it in 24 hours and I can't even get a-hold of DH to have him check it over--but it is a fairly big thing, you know).
The very least a company can do for workers who are required to travel often and regularly (as in the OP) is provide them with a private place to decompress and to reconnect with their family and handle what they can from afar, etc without worrying about others in teh room overhearing, needing space, etc

 

[Chocolate Cake]

But if my biggest problem with a company is needing to share a room while on a trip, I think I'm working for a pretty good company.

Meh. I feel I am worth more.

 

[Poohforyou]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

Because at 18-22 my standards and needs were much different than they are now. Also college dorm life was about making friends, learning to live away from home, etc.

 

[SouthFayetteFan]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

This question has been asked and answered by many already in this thread...

Here's my response from earlier:

This is not even a comparison to me. These are 17-22 year old kids which have signed up for dorm living and are paying to go to college. That is their HOME during that time. They don't have spouses or kids. AND They have other options...get a job and pay for you own apartment, stay at parents' or relative's home and commute.

This is a discussion about adults - 30, 40, 50 year old adults. They have spouses and kids they want to talk to in the evening. They may have sensitive topics to discuss/tend to in the evening. They have accepted a job with this employer and expect to be treated with respect. Respect to me is giving people their own room on a business trip so that they can have some privacy while they've been forced away from their home and those important to them for the sake of their company. IF the company can't afford to give them their own room then maybe they need to reevaluate if this travel is necessary.

 

[cabanafrau]

There were options in my college to swap if you didn't get along. Both ones that were due to roommate issues and other options where your roommate would never realize it was due to roommate issues such as choosing to join a special live together group (the computer science house or a number of other 'houses' that had a dorm floor, a sorority or fraternity, etc could be joined and by doing those you would be guarenteed to be with someone that at least shared your interest in the house subject). Only freshman year were you required to live in a dorm. I did for a bit longer but didn't have to. You did not have to share a single bathroom with someone else that also shared your schedule, so much less chance that you have to wake up earlier because the bathroom would always be busy when you needed to shower for example.

I also got lucky:
my first trimester (had fall, winter, and fall classes) I had a roomate I wasn't compatible with. She joined a soriority and moved out for winter and fall. It was the honors floor we lived in and no honors students wanted to move into a dorm so I got the room to myself for the rest of the year

My second year I had a roommate that I got along really well with and we managed to make it work. She was extremely nice and also mostly introverted.

I stayed for one trimester of my third year before moving out. that year my roommate's mom worked for the school (she was local and could have lived at home but wanted the "experience") and her boyfriend had a campus apartment. She kept enough stuff in our room to convince visiting family she lived there. She really lived with her boyfriend.

I still hated it. This was just something I got through as part of going to college. When I could (had enough money for a car) I moved to my own off campus studio apartment.

OT, I have to ask, did the school approach you to pay more or come up with a roommate when yours moved out leaving you with a single? I've had a few friends go through this the past few years, including the school my oldest attends, and she tells me that is their policy. DH went there and had a roommate who was booted from the school and he simply had a single going forward, no questions asked. DD says today he would have had to come up with a roommate or pay up.

 

[cabanafrau]

I shared rooms in college to avoid costs to ME. Sharing rooms as a professional doesn't benefit ME. In college, I was paying them for the privilege of being there. As a professional, I travel becaus it's required, NOT because of any desire to do it. Totally different scenario.

BTW, the current trend in dorm rooms is a 4-bedroom suite with each student having their own private bedroom & bathroom, and a shared living room & kitchenette.

Many of my friends and acquaintances are in the phase of life I am, with kids in the thick of college and others making the decision on selecting where to go. No matter if the schools are large state schools, smaller niche schools or nationally known top ranked private schools from one end of the country to the other, I have yet to find one yet that has attended or toured any kind of school that has these mythical personal suite dorm styles. I'm sure they exist, but I think their prevalence may be overstated.

 

[NHdisneylover]

OT, I have to ask, did the school approach you to pay more or come up with a roommate when yours moved out leaving you with a single? I've had a few friends go through this the past few years, including the school my oldest attends, and she tells me that is their policy. DH went there and had a roommate who was booted from the school and he simply had a single going forward, no questions asked. DD says today he would have had to come up with a roommate or pay up.

I had a roomate move out a couple of months into the year (to a dorm). I was not required to find another roommate myself (after-all, I did not ask her to move out or cause any problem)---but I was given the option of paying more to keep my room as a single or the school could/would put someone else in with me.

 

[cabanafrau]

I had a roomate move out a couple of months into the year (to a dorm). I was not required to find another roommate myself (after-all, I did not ask her to move out or cause any problem)---but I was given the option of paying more to keep my room as a single or the school could/would put someone else in with me.

I could understand that option, but I've had 3 friends with kids at 3 different schools, in and out of our state, private and public, that had roommates either return home or live elsewhere for various reasons and they've been told they need to find a roommate or pay as a single if they can't find anyone. I couldn't understand how they could put the burden on someone else when they have no control if their roommate decides they can't hack it and need to go back home, but DD tells me that is indeed the policy at her university. Talk about a budget buster!

 

[SC Minnie]

Many of my friends and acquaintances are in the phase of life I am, with kids in the thick of college and others making the decision on selecting where to go. No matter if the schools are large state schools, smaller niche schools or nationally known top ranked private schools from one end of the country to the other, I have yet to find one yet that has attended or toured any kind of school that has these mythical personal suite dorm styles. I'm sure they exist, but I think their prevalence may be overstated.

DD's school as only these type dorms. They have all been built in the last 10 years. There were 4 girls that shared a unit with 2 bathrooms- so 2 girls shared a bathroom- and they all shared a kitchen. When I was in college 30 years ago we had units on campus like this. The newer dorms they built when I was a freshman were 2 person per room deals.

Back to sharing a room when traveling for work. No, I don't want to. If we were made to I guess that would be an advantage of being a female in a predominately male field. Most of the time I am the only female when we travel.

 

[cabanafrau]

DD's school as only these type dorms. They have all been built in the last 10 years. There were 4 girls that shared a unit with 2 bathrooms- so 2 girls shared a bathroom- and they all shared a kitchen. When I was in college 30 years ago we had units on campus like this. The newer dorms they built when I was a freshman were 2 person per room deals.

Back to sharing a room when traveling for work. No, I don't want to. If we were made to I guess that would be an advantage of being a female in a predominately male field. Most of the time I am the only female when we travel.

Yes, I'm aware those are popping up more frequently. I was referring to the personal suites mentioned above, with each having their own bathroom and bedroom and four suitemates sharing living and kitchenette.

 

[NHdisneylover]

I could understand that option, but I've had 3 friends with kids at 3 different schools, in and out of our state, private and public, that had roommates either return home or live elsewhere for various reasons and they've been told they need to find a roommate or pay as a single if they can't find anyone. I couldn't understand how they could put the burden on someone else when they have no control if their roommate decides they can't hack it and need to go back home, but DD tells me that is indeed the policy at her university. Talk about a budget buster!

Wow--that is really a policy that is unfair to students who have no control over the situation. Thank goodness DD did not want to attend a school with policies that are so unfriendly to their students! Honestly, I would worry about other ways the school was treating students poorly if this was policy.

(and DD's dorm is more like the suite set up you describe: there are three bedrooms, 2 single and one double, which share 1 1/2 baths and a common living room (no kitchen).

 

[JoeA]

Just sayin'...

I can't believe people would be willing to quit a job they like/are secure in rather than spend a night with a co-worker. (It's not like the company is trolling the lobby for someone to share a room, they know this person.) If there IS a reason to not want to room with 'that' specific person, I would understand and it'd be an issue to take up with your manager. I couldn't room with a smoker. The stink of residue on their clothes is always there. But the original post here just said 'in general'. Likewise with the car sharing. Of course there would be reasons to not want to car share - again, the smoking thing, unsafe driver/unsafe car etc.

Many are saying they like the quiet and privacy after working all day. Wouldn't you give your co-worker's needs the same respect? Perhaps they'd be the same. You can be alone in a room with another person. Put your headphones on, read a book...whatever you would do if you were alone.

Transgender wasn't an issue in the original posts. No sense bringing your own biases and aversions into it. Would I care? No. It's a business trip, not an orgy. I AM able to be in the same room with someone without the topic of their sexual preferences and identity coming up at all.

It is strange when you live alone (which, I'm assuming all the people who say 'no way I want my privacy' do, otherwise, how much privacy can you get in your own home?) because every sound in the room is foreign. I just say that if it's a business trip and treated as such - not just a wild weekend away with no responsibilities, it's not worth quitting a job I like over.

How many nights a year do you travel?

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I was 19 years old when I lived in a dorm. A kid. I still would sleep in my car at concerts and ate Raman noodles out of a boiler pot. My roommate and I would decorate our dorm with the bottles of wine that we finished, and melt crayons down them to make them look cool. We had no issues walking around in our t-shirt and underwear. We would fight over lights being turned on when another one was sleeping. We would laugh at the people down the hall who listened to awful music. We had a black light and hung glow-in-the-dark stars on our ceiling. It was college.

I'm a grown-up now. This is my professional life. I have rarely shared hotel rooms with my own children. Since they were about 6 years old, they got their own adjoining room. I am not listening to my co-worker snore beside me, or pass gas in their sleep. I can't imagine thinking this is normal.

This says it all.

I am a totally different person now, than I was at 19.

No one needs to see my in my nightgown, and I don't want to see anyone else in theirs.

 

[Christine]

Many of my friends and acquaintances are in the phase of life I am, with kids in the thick of college and others making the decision on selecting where to go. No matter if the schools are large state schools, smaller niche schools or nationally known top ranked private schools from one end of the country to the other, I have yet to find one yet that has attended or toured any kind of school that has these mythical personal suite dorm styles. I'm sure they exist, but I think their prevalence may be overstated.

My son's school has about 30 different dormitories. They just added this new type of dorm that they call "apartment style" living. It's one dorm out of many. It's certainly up and coming but not the norm at this point. At least in our state as a whole.

 

[JoeA]

For the love of Mickey please stop the "how did you cope with a college dorm" nonsense.

I was 18, had long hair, may or may not have smoked, uh...and listened to loud rock.

I'm now, let's say a little older, have very short hair, like to unwind with a glass of wine and a good book..get the idea? What I did in college doesn't carry over to what I like in my adult, professional life.

Lots of us don't like it. Lots of you don't mind. I think the saying is, "different strokes". Not right. Not wrong.

Just saying.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Many of my friends and acquaintances are in the phase of life I am, with kids in the thick of college and others making the decision on selecting where to go. No matter if the schools are large state schools, smaller niche schools or nationally known top ranked private schools from one end of the country to the other, I have yet to find one yet that has attended or toured any kind of school that has these mythical personal suite dorm styles. I'm sure they exist, but I think their prevalence may be overstated.

U.C. Davis - I know that one because we supplied the lighting for the construction. A friend's kid has one at Missouri S&T. I've seen blueprints for several dozen more.

Now, the schools aren't going to just bulldoze their current buildings just to build this style in its place. But, of the NEW dorms being added, this is the trend.

 

[RedAngie]

Many of my friends and acquaintances are in the phase of life I am, with kids in the thick of college and others making the decision on selecting where to go. No matter if the schools are large state schools, smaller niche schools or nationally known top ranked private schools from one end of the country to the other, I have yet to find one yet that has attended or toured any kind of school that has these mythical personal suite dorm styles. I'm sure they exist, but I think their prevalence may be overstated.

They exist, but yes, such dorms are far from the norm at most colleges. A fair amount of newer construction IS going in this direction. Not necessarily a private room and bath for each student, but two private bedrooms with one shared bath, or suites with three or four bedrooms, one or two baths, and a living room/kitchenette. Younger DD is in such a 4 bedroom/2 bath arrangement right now. It costs significantly more than a standard two person shared dorm room with bath down the hall. She's thinking of moving to an off-campus regular apartment next year to save money.

 

[sam_gordon]

How many nights a year do you travel?

I think this is what it comes down to. Someone who is on the road 75+ nights a year I can see "requiring" their own room. Someone who spends <10 nights, it's not as big a deal.

 

[awalker1015]

I have to ask, for those of you who object to sharing a room, and lived in a dorm in college, how did you cope with that? Especially colleges like mine that assigned roommates and made it almost impossible to swap if you didn't get along?

I went away to college expecting a communal environment. Back then I relished it. I was still basically a teenager. In my 40s it's not so novel. Work trips are exhausting. I come back to my room and like to order room service, put on a movie, talk to my family and go to bed early. I don't want to hang out. If I do, I can meet my coworkers downstairs a drink. A PP stated it well: work trips take ion away from your family and your home. Providing a comfortable private environment is a nice gesture.

 

[JoeA]

I think this is what it comes down to. Someone who is on the road 75+ nights a year I can see "requiring" their own room. Someone who spends <10 nights, it's not as big a deal.

How did you arrive at 10 nights? Heck of a gap between 10 and 75. What about 30? A medium deal?

For some - 1 night is a "big deal", so. I'm not sure why people seem to be offended or completely discount those who are opposed to room sharing.

Some are wired for it, and some are wired against it. Is one right or wrong?