Separate or Joint Checking Accounts?

[Angelhalo]

Separate accounts here. My DH pays most of the bills. I work part time for spending money basically. I make my car payment and buy groceries out of my check and the rest I use for taking us out to dinner or the movies, buying Christmas gifts, getting my nails done etc. I make enough that I don't need access to the money he brings in and we're both happy. If our job situation ever changes our banking situation may change. But, for now, we like it the way it is. He puts money into a savings account for us for trips, retirement, in case he loses his job, etc etc.

 

[Angelhalo]

Our marriage is a partnership. All of our bank accounts are joined.

Ours is no less a partnership just because we have separate accounts. We just handle it differently. Both people play a role in paying for our things.

 

[Art 1]

My wife and I have a number of accts and they are all joint. I can not imagine a married couple having separate accts.

 

[LoraJ]

My wife and I have a number of accts and they are all joint. I can not imagine a married couple having separate accts.

Why not?

Joint counts do not work for everyone. My friend is miserable in her marriage with joint accounts. She gets to the point that she hates her husband because he gives her a hard time about spending money at the grocery store. She got tired of him saying no to her about wanting to buy something for herself so she has gotten a secret credit card to charge things on so he won't know about it.

My husband promised me before we got married that we would have separate accoutns because he could not stand listening to his co-worker call his wife asking permission to buy a DVD.

technically, all the money we have is OUR money, no matter what account it is in.

 

[SC Minnie]

Question for those of you who keep separate accounts..

What about savings goals? Do you agree to put a certain percentage of each paycheck into savings?

Just curious.. I know DH would never contribute to his Roth or savings unless I made him do it.

We both contribute to our 401K's through our employer. We also have other savings accounts that are auto drafted from my sole account. I don't see this savings account as 'my' money though. Its our money.

 

[PatriciaH]

Cracking up at how every time this subject comes up on here people get all "joint means we love each other more and trust each other as a couple", "seperate means we both work hard and actually contribute to our household by working"... haha. Whatever works for you! I do have to say most younger couples we know kept the accounts they already had (checking, savings, credit cards.) It seems like older couples (like my parents and in-laws) do the joint thing. I like managing my own accounts and we both contribute our all to our marriage and our household. We do have joint savings. I also like that I can buy a gift for DH without blowing the surprise/what it is.

 

[Ephany]

Suze Ormond says that a couple should have 3 checking accounts... one for each person and then one household account that is funded with an equal percentage of total pay by both people (ex: both people put in 50% of their pay).

We do this, sort of. When we were both working we contributed equal amounts to the joint, but now that I'm in school DH covers it. When I'm supporting us in a few years and he goes back to school, I'll pick up the household bills. All of our accounts are connected online though, and we both have full access to all accounts. We were doing this before we got married and were both active duty Navy; it was just easier to have access to all the accounts when someone was overseas for a long period of time. It works for us, but everyone's different.

 

[december]

As others have said, different things work for different people. Dh and I have been married for 14 yrs (tomorrow) and together for 22yrs! We tried using the same acct when we first married, since that is what we were "supposed" to do. DID NOT WORK FOR US! I am anal about my acct balance, dh not so much! We both make about the same, so we split the bills, and make our own decision about what is left over! Both of our accounts are joint, but one is "mine" and one is "his." And they are at 2 different banks.

 

[-Hope-]

For us separate never worked. For one thing I was the one doing all of the balancing for both of us and I resented it. For another dh's salary fluctuates because he works construction. When we finally bit the bullet, at about year 2.5- 3 of our marriage, and combined everything it was a struggle to find the right balance so we each felt like we weren't being constantly scrutinized. We tried saying "anything under X amount we don't have to consult each other". That didn't work. We tried consulting on everything, that didn't work. What seems to work best is a budget that we both agree on for everything from electricity to haircuts. We both get a specific amount to spend as we want.

Incidentally this has been a real life saver over the years. On different occasions we have scaled back to one income (once when dh couldn't work due to an injury and currently because I quit my teaching job to homeschool our kids). Both of these were really stressful decisions and situations and the fact that we were already on the same page money wise made the transition easier. If one of us had suddenly had to rely on the other when we were used to keeping everything seperate I think it would have been even more stressful for each of us.

That being said I know lots of people who make having seperate accounts work. As for Suze Ormand, different financial advisors recommend different things and all have sound financial reasons for their recommendations. For us this was more of a relationship issue than a financial issue and Suze, as much as I respect her advice, is not married so I don't take her advice for that. I do have my name on everything we own and first on the car loan to help establish my own credit as seperate from dh's. I can protect myself financially without the hassle of three checking accounts. JMHO

 

[crz4mm2]

separate.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Why not?

Joint counts do not work for everyone. My friend is miserable in her marriage with joint accounts. She gets to the point that she hates her husband because he gives her a hard time about spending money at the grocery store. She got tired of him saying no to her about wanting to buy something for herself so she has gotten a secret credit card to charge things on so he won't know about it.

My husband promised me before we got married that we would have separate accoutns because he could not stand listening to his co-worker call his wife asking permission to buy a DVD.

technically, all the money we have is OUR money, no matter what account it is in.

That sounds like much more of a relationship issue than a joint account issue. We have joint accounts, but I never ask DH for money...if I need/want to buy something, I do, as does he. Big purchases, we discuss.

 

[ZachnElli]

Joint and have been for almost 18 years, married 17. We got a joint account back when we were engaged. DH even put me on his business account, just in case of an emergency.

 

[suzannen]

DH and I both work and we have separate accounts, but we each have Power of Attorney over the other's account. We sit together over a glass of wine, go over the bills and expenses and write checks or pay online sitting with each other. My DH is a financial analyst and learned the hard way when his father died unexpectedly, that his mother couldn't access their joint account for awhile because it was frozen. We also each have our own pension funds through our employers. Biggest bonus, we love surprising each other with gifts, trips, etc, so for us not to have both separate accounts and separate credit cards would ruin all of that. We're celebrating our 20th anniversary this year and have never fought or disagreed about how to spend our money - the inlaws, yes, money, never. It's whatever works for you!! There is no wrong or right.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We do combined, though we have individual accounts for things such as our own spending money.

Why?--we are married, we are one. We are not roommates or as Dave Ramsey puts it--a joint venture. While we decided to do this pre-Dave Ramsey, I pretty much agree with his statement on such matters.

I can understand trust issues and control issues--but if I had that, then I'd have to wonder why I would marry anyone whom I could not trust. Even if it is a 2nd, 3rd, 12th marriage.

IMHO--if there are issues over combined finances, then there are issues on a personal level as well.

YMMV and clearly, either method will work for some people while the opposite does not.

And clearly, there will be folks who will read my post and disagree with it.

Whatever works for you--but keep in mind that relational/financial issues can occur with either set up and it doesn't immunize you against that, whatever you decide.

 

[SamRoc]

Been married 27 years, have 3 joint checking accounts and then we each have our own seperate ones.(we each have our own businessess) I have 2 credit cards in my name only and he has two in his name only. Its been working for us to have it both ways!

 

[RNMOM]

I too am old fashioned. I think there is something primal about sharing finances. Just my opinion but it seems kind of secretive to have your own money, accounts and such. I suppose that is dumb. I have to say though the people I have worked with over the years that got divorced all seemed to have separate accounts.

 

[jodifla]

I too am old fashioned. I think there is something primal about sharing finances. Just my opinion but it seems kind of secretive to have your own money, accounts and such. I suppose that is dumb. I have to say though the people I have worked with over the years that got divorced all seemed to have separate accounts.

Oh, please.

 

[LoraJ]

I too am old fashioned. I think there is something primal about sharing finances. Just my opinion but it seems kind of secretive to have your own money, accounts and such. I suppose that is dumb. I have to say though the people I have worked with over the years that got divorced all seemed to have separate accounts.

The ones I know who got divorced had joint accounts. Neither way is immune. Which is why I find it silly to say one way makes you more married than the other way.

 

[jodifla]

Cracking up at how every time this subject comes up on here people get all "joint means we love each other more and trust each other as a couple", "seperate means we both work hard and actually contribute to our household by working"... haha. Whatever works for you! I do have to say most younger couples we know kept the accounts they already had (checking, savings, credit cards.) It seems like older couples (like my parents and in-laws) do the joint thing. I like managing my own accounts and we both contribute our all to our marriage and our household. We do have joint savings. I also like that I can buy a gift for DH without blowing the surprise/what it is.

True. As I've posted, different things have worked for us at different times. You don't have to do the same thing the whole time you are married; you can adjust as your finances/circumstances change.

I'm Christmas shopping now, and it's a major drag to me that DH will see where I've shopped (as he checks the online account frequently.) Back when I paid for all his gifts out of my own hard-earned money I enjoyed it better. Now I'm largely shopping for his gifts out of his money, which doesn't seem right to me.

 

[Bluestars]

We have a joint savings account and a joint checking account. I handle all of the bill paying and accounting.