Separate checks?

[Andtototoo]

I always want a separate check and I won't just split checks evenly unless the charges incurred were even. I don't want to pay for your lobster when I had a hamburger, especially when I choose the hamburger because I'm on a budget.

In fact, I usually tell the server right up front that I want a separate check. The last time I didn't do that, I was in NYC to go to the theater and met some acquaintances at a restaurant for dinner beforehand. Their show was further away than mine and the man walks slowly so they left early, telling me that they had left their money in the folder. I opened it up to find out that they had decided unilaterally to split the check evenly. The problem was that their bill was $200 MORE then mine (my portion was $50). The total was $250 and I ended up paying $125 for a $50 meal. I subsequently I confronted them and said that I did not appreciate being stuck with their bill and they had a fit and told me I was cheap.

So I don't care if the server doesn't like it or not.

 

[disykat]

I opened it up to find out that they had decided unilaterally to split the check evenly. The problem was that their bill was $200 MORE then mine (my portion was $50). The total was $250 and I ended up paying $125 for a $50 meal. I subsequently I confronted them and said that I did not appreciate being stuck with their bill and they had a fit and told me I was cheap.

.

Amazing isn't it? It's always the people whose total was way more that seem to think not splitting the bill evenly is "cheap." My definition of cheap is making someone else pay for your meal!

 

[KrysiaG]

Honestly, I just accept it these days. Just about every restaurant does separate checks - especially for the work/lunch crowd. Goodness, my entire department goes on lunch outtings, and when the company isn't paying - everyone asks for separate checks. I just accept that it may take a few more minutes to separate it all out. No biggie 99.9% of the time.

 

[KrysiaG]

I always want a separate check and I won't just split checks evenly unless the charges incurred were even. I don't want to pay for your lobster when I had a hamburger, especially when I choose the hamburger because I'm on a budget.

In fact, I usually tell the server right up front that I want a separate check. The last time I didn't do that, I was in NYC to go to the theater and met some acquaintances at a restaurant for dinner beforehand. Their show was further away than mine and the man walks slowly so they left early, telling me that they had left their money in the folder. I opened it up to find out that they had decided unilaterally to split the check evenly. The problem was that their bill was $200 MORE then mine (my portion was $50). The total was $250 and I ended up paying $125 for a $50 meal. I subsequently I confronted them and said that I did not appreciate being stuck with their bill and they had a fit and told me I was cheap.

So I don't care if the server doesn't like it or not.

WOW! I would not have this either. Sorry - I pay my own way in life. I would also be infuriated.

 

[RabbitFood]

Always get one check and just split it evenly. Sometimes I pay more; sometimes I pay less. It all works out in the end.

We usually do this, too.

I'm amazed by the people here who are still harboring angry thoughts about having to pay more than their fair share of a meal that was years ago.

 

[kaytieeldr]

Wrong, I usually am expected to pick up the tab, and I do.

Then splitting checks, and the decision when or whether to do so, really doesn't affect you at all.

 

[kaytieeldr]

We usually do this, too.

I'm amazed by the people here who are still harboring angry thoughts about having to pay more than their fair share of a meal that was years ago.

"the last time I..." doesn't necessarily mean "...this happened years ago." Plus, it's natural to remember large unexpected expenses like $125 for a $50 meal.

 

[OceanAnnie]

We usually do this, too.

I'm amazed by the people here who are still harboring angry thoughts about having to pay more than their fair share of a meal that was years ago.

"the last time I..." doesn't necessarily mean "...this happened years ago." Plus, it's natural to remember large unexpected expenses like $125 for a $50 meal.

Yes indeed. That memory would have real staying power!

 

[Art 1]

Then splitting checks, and the decision when or whether to do so, really doesn't affect you at all.

True, probably why I don't see the big deal. To me it looks cheep to be so concerned about. Like a past poster mentioned figure out your meal costs, round it up, add a generous tip and that's your portion.

 

[Pig Pen]

In an organized and well-run restaurant with a competent server, separate checks should not be a problem. I was a waitress for years and I just can't figure out what the issues would be on the server's end.

I personally prefer it when I am going out with a group so I don't have to worry if I have enough cash or the right "change" or if an adequate tip was left for the server. I don't care if anyone thinks I am cheap.

 

[spacemountainmom]

True, probably why I don't see the big deal. To me it looks cheep to be so concerned about. Like a past poster mentioned figure out your meal costs, round it up, add a generous tip and that's your portion.

Why is it cheap that I don't want to pay for YOUR meal? Especially if you've left me holding the proverbial check many times before. Unfortunately, many people who want to just split the check owe much more than the other person.....why is is so hard for them to cover their own expense? To me they are the tight ones. I am more than happy to cover my own costs, please don't expect me to pay for your champagne tastes while you are only willing to pay beer prices.

My sister and her friends once called me to pick them up after a night out drinking. My dh and I went to get them. I had one drink and my dh didn't have anything. The bar tab showed up and it was @ $400 for their group of four people and included my ONE drink. My sister's friend wanted to split the tab 6 ways and have my dh and I chip in equally. RIGHT!!! I drove 15 miles to drive your sorry drunk butts home and you want me to subsidize your booze costs too. Wastn't gonna happen. I put in enough to cover my drink, tax and tip and told them to deal with their own bar tab. I waited for them in the car.

 

[surfgirl]

I like separate checks for a different reason.

I love filet. My favorite meal. Love to order it in a restaurant. When I go with a group, I never do, because I'm afraid that others will think I expect them to "subsidize" my meal. I'm happy to pay more (and frequently throw in an extra $5 -$10 for tip after the bill has been paid).

So when I'm with a group and we don't get separate checks, I get a boring chicken dish... (ie. cheap) so that others don't "perceive" that I'm trying to get away with something. It is disappointing when I was really hungry for that steak!

I've also been known to find a waiter/waitress and slip them an extra $20 if they've done a great job when I was there with little people (and sometimes that was 100% tip). My mom's group used to go out after playgroup and I'm sure the waitress groaned when we were sat in her section. I would pay my bill and as we were walking out, slip her extra money to compensate. I always figured that babies and toddlers don't "pay" their way since they eat little, and when a waitress did a good job, I like to recognize that I appreciate it.

ymmv.

 

[hambirg]

I prefer separate checks too. That way I feel everyone can get what they want and cover it, no biggie. For the very brief time I worked waitressing, I didn't mind doing them at all. What happens sometimes in large groups that don't have separate checks, is that you get stiffed on the tip. I suppose everyone tosses in the money and the one left holding the bill gets stiffed (not unlike what some of the posters have posted here). Then when they are already making up the $ shortage they probably don't feel like it's fair they now how to leave a $20 tip when their meal wasn't even that much. And I can't say that I blame them. It usually works out better when everyone pays their own bill and tip.

 

[Mrs.Toad]

My husbands family likes to ask for separate checks. I've always kind of hated when they do that, because I've always been told it's more work for the server, harder for the kitchen to time it all to come out together, etc. So I'm glad to see a lot of servers here say it's no big deal.

With friends, we never ask for separate checks. We usually go out with others whose tastes and financial situations are pretty similar, we all order about an equal amount of food or drinks, and so we'll just split the bill evenly because it's probably just a couple of dollars difference. On those rarer occasions that there's a large difference, though, we'll each pay for our own portion. I've never been in a situation where someone orders a much costlier meal and expects to split the bill evenly. That is really rude.

 

[Styx Fan]

Guess I'm pretty, but I still remember a situation that happened many years ago with DH's family. We were out of town for some family function....wedding, reunion, whatever. A bunch of people, must have been around 15 went out to dinner. Not a dinner that was part of what ever the occasion was.

DH extended family is big drinkers....and just beer. Bottles of wine were ordered by some people who took it upon themselves to order wine for the group. Folks who appreciate a nice bottle of wine. I don't remember the details, but I do remember that DH and myself were a young married couple. Not making tons of money. The group included aunts and uncles who were in their prime earning years. Some cousins who were used to spending more than us....not sure if they could afford it not DH and I order somewhat frugally as we always did when eating out, especially at a restaurant more expensive than typical for us.

You guessed it.....the bill was split up "evenly" to make it easy. DH could have spoken up, but at that point we were still felt like kids out with the adults in a way. He just paid our part. I bet we paid twice more than we should have. I felt taken advantage of and swore that would never happen to me again. And I haven't let it.

 

[okeydokey]

When we go out at work we always get separate checks. It is super common now and I don't think it's a big deal at all.

We also do when we go out with friends. One family we know has one kid, we have 2. They are super frugal and the mom will share an appetizer with her dd as dinner for them both, dad will get a dinner salad. They only get water. I wouldn't dream of asking them to split the bill. It's much easier if each family pays for what they ordered separately.

 

[java]

We go out for breakfast as a group about once a week (or we used to anyway) There are usually anywhere from 4-9 of us. And we always just split it up evenly. We eat together enough that if someone spends more one week- chances are someone else will the next week.

It a standard $12 every time.

 

[surfgirl]

Guess I'm pretty, but I still remember .... {snip}

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

: )

 

[deedeecee]

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

: )

La la la la la la la la la la!

 

[kaytieeldr]

True, probably why I don't see the big deal. To me it looks cheep to be so concerned about. Like a past poster mentioned figure out your meal costs, round it up, add a generous tip and that's your portion.

That's not easy for everyone. We only all get together once or twice a year, and all spend about the same amount on brunch - because that's the meet time that works best. We split the check because my siblings and I are all considerate of each others' finances. One on one, one of us might pay for the meal and one the tip. My experience has proven to me that dining with nonrelatives (and some cousins) dictates separate checks.

It's never the person ordering the burger and water suggesting splitting a check. It's always those having three exotic drinks, an appetizer, steak, dessert, and an after dinner drink. Why do you think that is?