Sensitive

[brittanyherndon]

I am sick and tired of being sensitive, and I want to improve in that area. Any ideas are welcome.

But please don't criticize me. I have had as much as I can take

ps
I would like tips on making my self more clear on the disboards

 

[JOCAmom]

I use to be super sensitive. And for me, I grew a thicker skin as I got older. I just got to the point in my life, that it didn't matter what other people said. I could ask for their advice but I realized that I could take it or leave it.

As for your ps, I know you want advice on how to make yourself clearer on the Dis but could you give me an example what your are talking about? I'm not trying to be sarcastic or anything....I'd just like to try and help you if I can.

 

[DisneyTravelers2008]

I heard a saying I really liked recently, "Other people's opinion of me is none of my business". I decided a while ago to just be me. And, not worry so much about what others think. People can be so mean and often dont realize what they say really bothers others. Often, they dont even realize they have hurt your feelings, yet I was often so worried about something that did not even remember that they said or did. My husband says it like this, Don't let other people rent space in your head for free. " best of luck

 

[FireDancer]

If you are happy and content with yourself you won't care what other people say to or about you. What someone else things of you or about you is merely their opinion of you and not fact. If it is indeed fact it just is what it is. If it is something you don't like about yourself you can do one of two things, change it or accept it. I have found most people who are overly sensitive either want to change something that they can but have neglected or haven't accepted something they can't change. Either way it is time to do one or the other.

It really comes down to confidence. If you are confident in yourself you don't care what other people call you. They are entitled to their opinions even if you don't agree with them. You are always in full control of how you react to the things that happen to you in life.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It can be summed up from RuPaul, (a drag queen). "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love someone else?"

So that is part of it. You must be in that place in your mind.

In addition you have to learn some psychology. You need to understand mental lillness and different character profiles.

Then you delve into your own character profile. Know thyself.

If you have a certain character issues/situations that bothers you like a person is always pointing "it" out and then you get upset, then that is a perfect starting point.

You learn how to face the person and communicate when confronted. Not harshly but assertively. Or you assess their mental state and you learn how their statements are not about you. Use these situations to strengthen yourself.

In essence, the stuff people say is really about them more than it is about you. And also people are allowed to have their beliefs, even if you don't agree with them. A harsh reality that you have to get used to.

There is a lot of self realization that comes with trying to sort out yourself.

 

[wilma-bride]

It can be very difficult not to take things to heart. I wouldn't say I am uber sensitive, however people often think I'm quite 'hard-nosed' but I really am very soft (I can come across as couldn't care less but people that know me well know that is not the real me).

As far as tips on how to be less sensitive, I don't have nay - but what I tend to do is only worry about the opinions of those people who matter to me i.e. friends, family etc.

As far as making yourself clearer on the DIS, I tend to write what I want to say, then read it through before clicking on 'submit'. If I think there is anything that could be misconstrued, I try to reword and if that doesn't work I take it out completely. I can't tell you how many times I've typed out responses to threads, edited a dozen times and then just deleted the whole lot.

 

[kellyg403]

I agree with another poster, that sometimes maturity helps those who are so sensitive. I was very sensitive. Seemed like anything could cause me to doubt who I was, what I was like etc. But as I matured and aged, I realized it had nothing to do with what other people were saying, it was about me and my lack of confidence and love for myself. I learned to be true to myself.
And as another poster put it, other people's 'opinions' are just that..not fact.

It is something you have to work on since it bothers you. But, you can't change other people you can ONLY change yourself.

Kelly

 

[Robinrs]

It can be summed up from RuPaul, (a drag queen). "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell can you love someone else?"

Thanks to RuPaul, HE learned that premise from the Bible~

... RuPaul 3:12

 

[Robinrs]

I am sick and tired of being sensitive, and I want to improve in that area. Any ideas are welcome.

But please don't criticize me. I have had as much as I can take

ps
I would like tips on making my self more clear on the disboards

Your best bet in making yourself clear on the Disboards is by NEVER posting. Your words are disseminated by the history and thoughts of the people reading. One percentage will interpret it one way, another percentage will interpret it completely differently.

You cannot control that. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it.

Message boards are subjective and anonymous. Some of the nicest people and the most EVIL people, anyone with an agenda, anyone who got picked on in the past and wants revenge... are there. Is that your fault? Can you change that? No.

I've been here for MANY years. You would fold up like a lawn chair if you've seen what I've seen. I had to learn that the DIS is not like real life, you cannot see the inflections or the intentions of the people posting. Sensitivity is not the problem, the people are the problem.

Keep your life to yourself and don't concern yourself with anonymous people on a Disney Board. Like I tell my son, if they don't pay your rent, then they don't run your world.

God bless...

 

[Ceila]

You've been given some good advice on the sensitivity issue.

As for making yourself more clear on a discussion board, you said part of the problem is spelling. (I saw the other thread that I'm guessing prompted you to start this one.) There is a spell check function on the Dis. When you are typing a response or a new thread, there is a little symbol with a check-mark and ABC above it. You can find it in the top right hand corner of both the quick-reply box and the regular posting screen. That is the spell check, and a great tool.

Unfortunately, though, sometimes people use the wrong word in a sentence. If it is spelled correctly, the spell check won't catch that. Do you have Microsoft Word on your computer? If so, try typing your posts there first, and running a grammar check. Then copy-and-paste them back to the Dis.

Finally, I've seen a few posts of yours where you don't really explain why you are asking a question. Giving a little bit of background information would be helpful. Just a sentence or two to explain what you're talking about. Then you may find that people respond more positively to your posts.

Good luck!!

 

[Tiger926]

Your best bet in making yourself clear on the Disboards is by NEVER posting. Your words are disseminated by the history and thoughts of the people reading. One percentage will interpret it one way, another percentage will interpret it completely differently.

You cannot control that. The only thing you can control is your reaction to it.

Message boards are subjective and anonymous. Some of the nicest people and the most EVIL people, anyone with an agenda, anyone who got picked on in the past and wants revenge... are there. Is that your fault? Can you change that? No.

I've been here for MANY years. You would fold up like a lawn chair if you've seen what I've seen. I had to learn that the DIS is not like real life, you cannot see the inflections or the intentions of the people posting. Sensitivity is not the problem, the people are the problem.

Keep your life to yourself and don't concern yourself with anonymous people on a Disney Board. Like I tell my son, if they don't pay your rent, then they don't run your world.

God bless...

Absolutely fabulous post! It is so true. I marvel sometimes at how peoples' pereptions are so off...but such is life. We all come to the keyboard with varying experiences, emotional maturity/immaturity and ways of communicating. All of these are reflected in our responses. So, if my hubby ticked me off this morning, or, the kids didn't listen, I may take that out on you, a total stranger. There is nothing you can do to improve my response to you at all - except to ignore it.

OP - As mentioned above, if it's writing structure, then just use spell check. I am an English teacher, and I scratch my head at some of the wackies on this board who go nuts if people spell word incorrectly, etc. The funny thing is, I usually find mistakes in their responses too. So, my point is that if you can try and make yourself more clear, this may or may not help. Sometimes it's not about spelling, but about other things that you don't have any control over. Some people are just picky and such is life!

Good luck to OP in becoming less sensitive on here - you cannot control random or not so random thoughts by total strangers, you can only control your reactions to those thoughts. In most, or all cases, it's not worth getting worked up about...this is not to insult or demean you in any way at all. It's just a gentle reminder that you cannot possibly know all intentions on a message board, so work within your means and that is about as much as you can do!

Tiger

 

[Magic Mom]

ps
I would like tips on making my self more clear on the disboards

I think using puctuation and spell check would help a lot with that. Don't post like you are texting on your phone, instead write out complete words and thoughts. Also, give a few more details when you write. Your posts are bare bones. You ask questions without giving important details.

 

[okeydokey]

You've been given some good advice on the sensitivity issue.

As for making yourself more clear on a discussion board, you said part of the problem is spelling. (I saw the other thread that I'm guessing prompted you to start this one.) There is a spell check function on the Dis. When you are typing a response or a new thread, there is a little symbol with a check-mark and ABC above it. You can find it in the top right hand corner of both the quick-reply box and the regular posting screen. That is the spell check, and a great tool.

Unfortunately, though, sometimes people use the wrong word in a sentence. If it is spelled correctly, the spell check won't catch that. Do you have Microsoft Word on your computer? If so, try typing your posts there first, and running a grammar check. Then copy-and-paste them back to the Dis.

Finally, I've seen a few posts of yours where you don't really explain why you are asking a question. Giving a little bit of background information would be helpful. Just a sentence or two to explain what you're talking about. Then you may find that people respond more positively to your posts.

Good luck!!

Great advice.

 

[MizTink]

You've been given some good advice on the sensitivity issue.

As for making yourself more clear on a discussion board, you said part of the problem is spelling. (I saw the other thread that I'm guessing prompted you to start this one.) There is a spell check function on the Dis. When you are typing a response or a new thread, there is a little symbol with a check-mark and ABC above it. You can find it in the top right hand corner of both the quick-reply box and the regular posting screen. That is the spell check, and a great tool.

Unfortunately, though, sometimes people use the wrong word in a sentence. If it is spelled correctly, the spell check won't catch that. Do you have Microsoft Word on your computer? If so, try typing your posts there first, and running a grammar check. Then copy-and-paste them back to the Dis.

Finally, I've seen a few posts of yours where you don't really explain why you are asking a question. Giving a little bit of background information would be helpful. Just a sentence or two to explain what you're talking about. Then you may find that people respond more positively to your posts.

Good luck!!

i can't find the spell check thing?!
i usually end up with another window open just to check spelling and stuff!!!! people on here will tear you up if you spell something wrong!!

 

[LuvOrlando]

Sensitive is a good thing, because it means you are probably not capable of cruelty

As for not being overly sensitive, I think the secret in this is putting the blame for bad behavior where it belongs.... which is not on yourself. Some people out in the world, and they seem to adore the internet, are just head cases who thrive on hurting other people. Not much you can do about them other than call them out on it and stop them in their tracks. Don't engage them and don't go back and forth.

I had some wacko mention some long ago post where he/she supposedly shut me down which is hilarious for 2 reasons, first, I had no idea who this was nor the conversation and second, the truth is I just stopped caring and walked away from the thread so I didn't even know about the supposed crushing. Very amusing, odd but amusing. Then there are the bullies who go around stomping on people for fun. With them I just stop to consider the fact that if I can't stand them, then the people around them probably can't either and that neutralizes them and their influence over me. People are kooky and once you accept the problem is more often with them than you, it'll be easier to spot them and put them in their place.

I have raised both of my kids to think this way and I can report that, so far, when someone such as a teacher ect. lashes out it does not effect how they feel about themselves. My kids come home and say: so and so was nutty/angry/unstable today because he/she said or did..... but my kids don't feel bad about themselves for it and shame is not an issue. They don't own other people's problems and this is no accident, I am very particular about this sort of thing in my life and my home.

Again, sensitive isn't a bad thing but letting other people hurt you is not healthy. Set up boundaries around yourself, be careful who you let in and you'll be fine


PS- low count, vague question... could be I got snared again. If so W, I'd still rather help than not.

 

[FireDancer]

i can't find the spell check thing?!
i usually end up with another window open just to check spelling and stuff!!!! people on here will tear you up if you spell something wrong!!

Use Firefox and install the English dictionary. The spell check will be built right into your browser.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I am sick and tired of being sensitive, and I want to improve in that area. Any ideas are welcome.

But please don't criticize me. I have had as much as I can take

ps
I would like tips on making my self more clear on the disboards

I'll be honest, Brittany, sometimes your posts are confusing. BUT, that post I quoted, is very clear and it looks like you checked your spelling, too! Some things come easier for some than they do others. I'm a pretty good speller, but I have to double check or I'll submit posts with misspellings. So even people who are good at writing, still have to recheck what they wrote before they hit submit.

I'll tell you what, though, you are a step ahead of and smarter than many posters on here. I can tell because you're open about this and you're asking for help. That is brilliant. Keep asking for help when you need it. It will definitely help you in school, too.

Remember, if you misspell a word or write in a confusing way, it doesn't make you a bad person and it doesn't make you stupid. People who make fun of you for it are bad people and they're showing their stupidity. So don't take what they say to heart (and I have no idea what post made you feel this way, but I've seen how people can be on here and on other boards).

Just keep checking your posts before you hit submit. Say them aloud, even, and if they make sense to you they'll probably make sense to most other people. You can do this with your writing in school, too.

 

[Normangirls]

Honey, if there was some secret to that, someone would have written a book about it and made enough money to spend a month at the Grand Floridian!

I don't know how old you are (and it really doesn't matter), but my DD13 is struggling with this right now (Ladies, how many of us would want to go back to junior high again? Not me.). Our pastor and I have realized it all somes down to self-esteem. Once you realize you are wonderful, that God loves you just as you are right this moment, and you are happy with your self-worth, the rest falls into place.

Like I said, not an easy solution, but the only one that will really change this for you.

 

[Feralpeg]

I have a minor in English and am a terrible speller. I always use spellcheck before I post. Also, I always re-read what I have written before I post. Often, our fingers get ahead of our brains and we leave words out or use incorrect words. Proofing before you post really helps.

As for being sensitive, try to remember that you are dealing with a bunch of strangers on these boards. They don't know you and you don't know them. People will say things on a message board they would never dream of saying to you in person. You just have to let it roll off your back. In the long run, what they say doesn't really matter. I take information I receive that seems helpful to heart. Everything else, I ignore.

 

[golfgal]

You've been given some good advice on the sensitivity issue.

As for making yourself more clear on a discussion board, you said part of the problem is spelling. (I saw the other thread that I'm guessing prompted you to start this one.) There is a spell check function on the Dis. When you are typing a response or a new thread, there is a little symbol with a check-mark and ABC above it. You can find it in the top right hand corner of both the quick-reply box and the regular posting screen. That is the spell check, and a great tool.

Unfortunately, though, sometimes people use the wrong word in a sentence. If it is spelled correctly, the spell check won't catch that. Do you have Microsoft Word on your computer? If so, try typing your posts there first, and running a grammar check. Then copy-and-paste them back to the Dis.

Finally, I've seen a few posts of yours where you don't really explain why you are asking a question. Giving a little bit of background information would be helpful. Just a sentence or two to explain what you're talking about. Then you may find that people respond more positively to your posts.

Good luck!!

Google Toolbar has a spell check function that works on message boards and FireFox browser automatically checks spelling and underlines misspelled words. I LOVE those!!