Originally posted by danacara
I then realized that looks matter in this world to a degree exceeding your intelligence, in a lot of cases. Sexually attractive people live better lives. They are simply treated better. They get hired with greater ease. They get promoted faster. They get a huge bolt of confidence from the admiring glances of others when they go out. They get good-looking clothes because they can shop in normal sizes. They do not pay for things that most other people pay for (lots of free food at restaurants, for example). They are not embarrassed to be outgoing. Perhaps most importantly, they don't give themselves any obstacles to doing the best they can do in this life. They make themselves as competitive as they can be. Is it superficial? Absolutely. But by living a good life on superficial measures, you free up the emotional space to live a good life on the measures that really matter, and I respect that. I wanted to be part of that. So I lost 50 lbs on Weight Watchers and now I, pardon my French, bust my a** to keep the weight off. It's made a huge difference in my life.
I guess what puzzles me about this is that I'm a really fat person (6'1", 300 lbs). I've had great jobs. I've never had trouble finding a date. I get "hit on" frequently. I dress well, in clothes that fit and flatter me. I'm not the least bit embarrassed to be outgoing, and the very very last thing I consider an obstacle in my life is my weight.
The weird thing is, when I was younger and thinner (around 165 lbs), I felt much, much worse about myself, even though, according to your summary above, I should've been with the "in crowd" and my life was better and easier then than it is now--which is totally not the case.
I think that a lot of what you credit with being thinner is really more a matter of believing those things about yourself. For you, you couldn't feel that way until you lost the weight, and then those seemingly closed doors opened for you. For me, I think I just reached a point where I was tired of feeling "less than" and consciously decided to change how I felt about me. I decided to see the beauty--the physical beauty--of my body exactly as it is. And there's a lot about it I like. It wasn't like this happened overnight. It took a while, but now I do believe about myself that not only am I a worthwhile and attractive *person*, but I have an attractive body as well. And that seemed to change how other people felt about me. I'm not saying either way is more valid. I guess I'm just saying that weight loss isn't the ONLY way you can be attractive or feel attractive.
Mind you, I'm not delusional. I'm fully aware that there are people out there who find me not only unattractive, but repulsive, because of my size. (And if I hadn't been before, I would surely be aware now after this thread.) However, I also know that this is true for ANY body type, it isn't exclusive to fat people. I worked with a man who thought Shania Twain was hideous (this was back when I was thin, too, so I don't think he was just trying to be 'kind' to me.). A good friend of mine's husband thinks Sarah Jessica Parker is the most unattractive woman he's ever seen. Most women would *love* to look like either of these stars, but it doesn't automatically mean everyone's going to find them attractive.
As a side note, I'm also a very healthy person. I'm active, I walk a lot (including at WDW), I do eat a lot, but try to incorporate healthy foods into my diet. My weight has remained exactly the same for 2 years now (for the 10 years before that, it wasn't uncommon for me to go down AND up 70 lbs or more in a year). I have normal cholesterol, and actually slightly-low blood pressure. My doctor never, ever tells me I need to lose weight (and she's a size 6, I would guess) although we have discussed that if I start to have obesity-related health issues, we'll discuss it then but for now, my body is serving me well.
Neither of my children are obese (bringing it back on-topic now, whew!). One is a string bean--you can practically count his ribs through his shirt--and the other is exactly Height/Weight proportionate, according to the doctor's charts. I'm really not sure how much of a "problem" childhood obesity--or obesity in general--truly is. I don't think there has been enough valid research on it to make any solid conclusions. Actually, there's an article I read a few months ago about that very fact:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,113975,00.html . Kinda interesting stuff there, if you want to look at it.
I'd resolved not to get involved in this thread, but I guess this is a hot button for me....it makes me very sad that so many fat women (and I'm sure men, but less so) feel like they are physically unattractive and this then presents barriers in other parts of their lives. Just offering an alternative viewpoint, that you can be fat, happy, and have a positive body image.
I have always just given them a plate of whatever I was serving for dinner and including a portion of everything I had made on their plate even when they protested. Sometimes they'll eat only the meat, or only the potatoes, but at one time or another they have tried most everything and started eating it. Like ripleysmom though, I don't mind at all throwing food away and let them decide when they're full. 
