Sending child to school early

[loopymommy]

I was one of those kids who was skipped ahead. I went to Kindergarten early and skipped 6th grade. I ended up being a pre-pubescent 10-year old girl in a 7th grade NYC public junior high school where EVERYONE else in my grade was 12- to 13-years old. I turned 16 a week after my high school graduation and went away to college. Though my parents and the school administrators thought I appeared intellectually, physically, and emotionally mature enough to handle the experience (and my grades reflected such), I wasn't. I went on to earn a BFA and MA by the time I was 23, but the scars that one gets as an adolescent stay with you for life.

My son, on the other hand, has a late November birthday. We were given the option to enroll him early or to give him the "gift of another year." We chose the gift. He is one of the older boys in 7th grade, but eventually he will be one of the first with his driver's license and an after-school job. His grades are wonderful and he is more than capable of handling both the academic and social pressures he now faces in the transition from elementary school to junior high. The difference in maturity between the younger and older kids in his grade is strikingly obvious, especially during class parties and trips. The younger ones may be doing well academically, but I feel that in the long run, they suffer for their parents' decision. No amount of intellectual proficiency can replace the missed years of life experience.

 

[Agri]

Honestly? If she has mastered what pre-k would teach her, send her to Kindergarten. At that age, truthfully, its no big deal if worse come to worse and the child has to repeat. If she would be mostly bored with the academics of pre-k, there's no reason to make her suffer through that.

The problem with boredom - especially at an early age - sets them up for "school is boring", "learning is boring", etc. Especially if the child has already mastered what the other children are just being introduced to, it can make it a rough time for both the child and the teacher. Even if the child doesn't disrupt others when they are done with their schoolwork, the teacher is still left with the matter of "How do I challenge this child?". And if its a good teacher, that child will learn more and continue to be ahead of their peers, or if its a bad teacher, that child will feel ignored, bored, and "above all this school mess".

A bored child might be "bright" or "gifted", or they might just have been taught more than their peers. This can be especially true in elementary school and that bored child might think that everything comes easy to them, only to discover that when they get to the higher levels, things aren't so easy and they just give up after so many years of things being easy.

I don't have kids, yet, but I have worked with them for YEARS. I would never keep my child out of school just to let them be a kid for another year. Doing so would be for the parent, not the child. A child at that age would not be able to fully appreciate that this is their last year to run around and play without having to deal with homework. If a child is eager to learn, let them have at it.

The biggest difference between kids that have been to pre-k and those who haven't is that they are used to following directions given to them by another authority figure outside of their family/family's social circle. In addition to their teacher's rules, they will be acquainted with the general rules of their institution. A lot of kids who haven't had that exposure spend their first part of kindergarten just getting adjusted to the idea of school, not to mention having to learn new things.

 

[golfgal]

VERY few children are really bored in school=they all SAY they are bored but they do that because everyone else says they are bored. Bright children find a way to occupy their time-extra reading, coloring, writing letters, etc. when they have completed their work early. A bright 4 year old will NOT be bored in school if you wait a year to send them-there is just too much to do and learn. The kids that DO get bored are usually the ones that are NOT bright or can't keep up for one reason or another and then act out because they don't know what else to do.

 

[Aneille]

VERY few children are really bored in school=they all SAY they are bored but they do that because everyone else says they are bored. Bright children find a way to occupy their time-extra reading, coloring, writing letters, etc. when they have completed their work early. A bright 4 year old will NOT be bored in school if you wait a year to send them-there is just too much to do and learn. The kids that DO get bored are usually the ones that are NOT bright or can't keep up for one reason or another and then act out because they don't know what else to do.

I think I agree with you based on my own kids. My oldest sometimes says schoolwork is boring. It is the thing to say. She says it more and more as she gets older. She is a great student but like I said earlier is probably just slightly above average. There is plenty for her to learn. She gets bored because the work isn't as exciting as she wants it to be.

Now my 4 year old I believe is very bright. He is never bored ...ever. He can entertain himself with anything and comes up with so many questions. The best is when I don't know the answer and he tells me to look it up on the internet.

I cardboard box could bring on so many questions that I can't keep up. He'll want to know how it is made, what it is made of, he'll tell me the sides are square and it looks like some other thing he has seen before or he can build this or that out of it. The questions, and connections he makes are sometimes unbelievable because he is only 4.

He is in his second year of pre-K (he only goes 2 hours 4 days a week) and already knows his letter sounds (knew most last year), can spell a lot of basic words etc. If he went to more often, I am sure he would be reading already. We let him lead and don't really push the reading like they would in school. I know he will repeat a lot of this next year. I know he'll be "bored" with some of it but he will love school. He loves it now and he is always learning and making connections. Every time he re-learns something, he makes a new connection or has a new question. I don't know if this makes sense but its what he does. The teachers tell me he does great and is well behaved and has a great personality.

I question the boredom parents say there kids have but I am curious too because I think my DS may at some point may find school boring. But I sure hope not.

 

[kacaju]

DD is 17 and a Junior. She has an early Oct Birthday and just missed our cutoff. As much as I wanted her to go early I am so glad now we have *1 more year* with her before she goes off to college

 

[AustinTink]

Hi, OP. Back in the 70's when the cut-off was in September, my parents and the principal (my aunt) conspired to send me to school early. My birthday is in November. So, I was 4 starting kinder and didn't turn 5 until well into the school year.

I never had a problem. I never felt pressured or too young, never struggled with my work and grades. I was fine. I know all kids/people are different. But, I just don't get the trend to hold kids back.

 

[mousebymarriage]

Hi, OP. Back in the 70's when the cut-off was in September, my parents and the principal (my aunt) conspired to send me to school early. My birthday is in November. So, I was 4 starting kinder and didn't turn 5 until well into the school year.

I never had a problem. I never felt pressured or too young, never struggled with my work and grades. I was fine. I know all kids/people are different. But, I just don't get the trend to hold kids back.

That was me too. Public school cut off was Nov. 1st, catholic school was Dec. 1st. My b-day is November 19th so off to catholic school I went. I was 4 when I started Kindergarten.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I am not trying to pick you out specifically but your post was the last post I read that had this sentiment concerning boredom.

I have a question for you and others with kids that are academically ahead of the curve in very early elementary grades say K-3rd.

Is it so bad to be ahead of the curve?

I would think having a weeks worth of homework done in 30 minutes would be empowering and would build self confidence. I would also think it would allow more time to be a kid, or spend more time doing school work that is more interesting than the routine stuff learned in school. That a child doing that well would have more time to foster other interests whether it was academic in nature or not.

I guess I don't really see it as a bad thing, unless your child is so far ahead of the curve that they could skip not just one grade but multiple grades. Or if the child lacks the maturity to be able to sit through a class that doesn't hold their interest because they already have that knowledge.

I am curious. My 2 oldest children do very well in school but are probably just slightly above average, but I am expecting my 3rd to be a "little bored" in K next year and I don't see it as such a bad thing.

Depends on the kid, school, teacher, curriculum, etc. I do agree with bolded. Maturity to sit there when you already know the material is key.

Now I do have to say that the curriculum has to be at least decent and the classes have to be at least somewhat challenging. My dd hit her breaking point this yr in 8th grade with English. She went and tried out for the gifted program just to get out of that class. She did make it, however that was after the tester gave her another test geared towards her verbal learning skills in order to push her through. DOn't get me started on "the rules". I have beaten this one to death enough here on the boards.

I did not hold my kids back. Missouri's cut off date here is July 1st.

 

[wtpntigger2]

My dd8 has the exact same birthday and our state has the same Sept. 1 cutoff. We started her a year early and don't have a single regret about it.

She is currently in 3rd grade and reading at mid 4th grade level and is excelling in math as well. If she was in 2nd grade like the state says she should be, she would be bored out of her mind.

You're the one who is around her every day and know what she can and can't do. Sometimes it isn't always best to wait as I've seen the trouble bored students can get into. Many kids labeled with a behavior disorder have above average intelligence. And unfortunately with schools directing their attention to those working at the middle and below, those who excel are being left to fend for themselves (I'm a teacher and see this firsthand).

Good luck in making your decision as it's not an easy one.

 

[Aristomommy]

VERY few children are really bored in school=they all SAY they are bored but they do that because everyone else says they are bored. Bright children find a way to occupy their time-extra reading, coloring, writing letters, etc. when they have completed their work early. A bright 4 year old will NOT be bored in school if you wait a year to send them-there is just too much to do and learn. The kids that DO get bored are usually the ones that are NOT bright or can't keep up for one reason or another and then act out because they don't know what else to do.

I don't agree with this at all and based on discussions with gifted experts many of them don't agree either. Truly bright (gifted) children do daydream, doodle, talk out loud, interrupt class etc. when they are not learning at the appropriate rate. They are not intellectually stimulated and are truly bored. DD would read books the entire day and was quiet, but was that the point of school? Another teacher gave her a notebook and she wrote poetry. All children should learn at a rate appropriate for them. Not coloring and waiting for others to be done. Once in a while it's ok, but not as a frequent thing.

 

[dyna]

I think it depends on the child rather than the AGE 2 of mine has August bdays the same week. The oldest started K just as soon as she turned 5 she was not ready emotionally or acedemically an ended up repeating 1st grade

When my youngest started K she was already 6 yrs old because by that time state law had changed an had to be 5 by June 1st to start K that yr. She was ready at 5 an I could have had her tested an sent her at 5 but I wanted my baby to myself another year an thought prolly better to be the oldest in the class than the youngest. She was always better with older kids an adults than kids her age for some reason maybe because that was what she was around at home.

MHO is that all kids should be tested by a certain age to see if they ready for K or not. Age doesn't always have a lot to do with it....

In later yrs I was very glad we'd kept DD home that extra year when in Jrhigh she got sick an missed 3/4ths of 7th an 8th grades. She returned to school the last quarter of 8th grade went back to her honors classes with the other kids in her class an made the honor roll that quarter after missing 2 yrs of school OHHHHHH an she was to ill most of the time she was sick to do any school work at all....simple math an spelling was to much for her she lost all her memory (we still don't know to this day what happened that she was so ill) point being had she started school a year early WOULD she have been able to recovered the way she did when she went back to school after missing almost 2 yrs of school?

 

[horseshowmom]

I'm 51. Back then the cutoff date for 1st grade (no K available) was December 31st. My birthday was in November - obviously, much later than the cutoff now. I never had a problem. I was always at the top of my class and had no social/maturation issues (in fact, I was one of the more level headed, responsible students and a class leader).

My brother's birthday was in December. He wound up being held back later. He was just too young.

My daughter's birthday is the end of July which made her one of the youngest in her class. Her experience was very similar to mine (although we did start homeschooling her in the 4th grade, she was always at the top of her class in school and at university - also level headed and responsible). She and I both finished high school at 17 (I started college at 17, she started almost immediately after turning 18).

All that to say - it just depends on the child in question.

 

[golfgal]

I don't agree with this at all and based on discussions with gifted experts many of them don't agree either. Truly bright (gifted) children do daydream, doodle, talk out loud, interrupt class etc. when they are not learning at the appropriate rate. They are not intellectually stimulated and are truly bored. DD would read books the entire day and was quiet, but was that the point of school? Another teacher gave her a notebook and she wrote poetry. All children should learn at a rate appropriate for them. Not coloring and waiting for others to be done. Once in a while it's ok, but not as a frequent thing.

Like I said VERY FEW kids are truly bored in school-there are VERY FEW truly gifted children and MY experience is that the TRULY gifted kids DO find ways to occupy themselves when they complete the work. Yes, kids should learn at a rate appropriate to their learning but that never happens for most kids because ALL kids learn at a different rate, even gifted kids. Teachers have ways to accommodate this-your DD read, our kids were able to go on the computers or read or work on homework for other classes, etc.

 

[cm8]

OP, I would think seriously about sending her. Being the youngest in your class is no big deal. My birthday is September 30, which was the cutoff many, many years ago when I started school. Kindergarten was not common then, but I did go because I had an aunt who worked there and got free tuition! I never had problems, kept up well. About the only thing that annoyed me was when I enlisted in the Air Force at graduation, I was still so young that I had to get my parent's signatures.

My daughter is a July birthday. She was usually one of the younger kids in her class and she did just fine. Its not like you are sending her a year early, she is three weeks younger than the cut off! And it is kindergarten. You can always have her repeat if she doesn't appear to fit in socially or academically.

 

[Mimi1965]

My son was two weeks before the cut-off date
Problem was lots of kids in his class had been held up-esp the boys so some were 1 1/2 years older than him
We saw a difference in 5-6th grade in maturity issues-so he repeated a grade then

 

[NHdisneylover]

VERY few children are really bored in school=they all SAY they are bored but they do that because everyone else says they are bored. Bright children find a way to occupy their time-extra reading, coloring, writing letters, etc. when they have completed their work early. A bright 4 year old will NOT be bored in school if you wait a year to send them-there is just too much to do and learn. The kids that DO get bored are usually the ones that are NOT bright or can't keep up for one reason or another and then act out because they don't know what else to do.

Like I said VERY FEW kids are truly bored in school-there are VERY FEW truly gifted children and MY experience is that the TRULY gifted kids DO find ways to occupy themselves when they complete the work. Yes, kids should learn at a rate appropriate to their learning but that never happens for most kids because ALL kids learn at a different rate, even gifted kids. Teachers have ways to accommodate this-your DD read, our kids were able to go on the computers or read or work on homework for other classes, etc.

It is often not allowed for a brighter child to entertain themselves. My daughter wasn't just bored, she was upset and frustrated. She really wanted to learn and it bothered her immensely that she had to spend 7 hours a day at school bit only spent, at best, about a half hour of that time learning a new skill or fact (be it painting, a song, actual academics, etc). In second grade she was beside herself with annoyance about this and would keep notes of how long the class spent doing various things. She wasn't allowed to read, or doodle during lecture type activities because the other kids would not understand why they couldn't as well (besides--talk about a fast track to being bullied if the answer from the teacher had been "well she already knows pretty much everything we cover so she can"?). It wasn't just that she picked things up faster and finished her work sooner--it was (even after having started early) that she had already taught herself pretty much everything they covered all day every day.
She is much happier now--still younger than her peers (as I posted earlier she is 13 and the next youngest in her class is 15), working in a second language (we moved to Germany about 1 1/2 years ago) and in a school which focuses heavily on hands on arts/woodworking/etc as well as academics--but it has taken THAT to get her to a point of enjoying the time at school and actually learning while she is there.
My son? He's truly just bored. That is manageable--but that is not always the case (and when it is, I agree that being one year ahead in and of itself is probably not going to be enough to make a true difference, but it can help a little).

 

[punkin]

I don't agree with this at all and based on discussions with gifted experts many of them don't agree either. Truly bright (gifted) children do daydream, doodle, talk out loud, interrupt class etc. when they are not learning at the appropriate rate. They are not intellectually stimulated and are truly bored. DD would read books the entire day and was quiet, but was that the point of school? Another teacher gave her a notebook and she wrote poetry. All children should learn at a rate appropriate for them. Not coloring and waiting for others to be done. Once in a while it's ok, but not as a frequent thing.

...let me add that then they get Cs in all their classes and I have to sit through an agonizing parent-teacher conference when they tell me that DD is disruptive and not working up to her potential despite the fact that she tests off the chart on their stupid MAP tests rolleyes1).

Sorry. Nevermind