Send them to Kindergarden or Wait

[Mouse House Mama]

Your original quote to me didn't come through on the quote. But ,,,what would your solution be....My kids pre-school teacher is telling me to hold my DS back ...so I don't and now he struggles his whole school career.

To me its just as bad to fail in everything you do such as study study study and never get good grades unless you have a tutor. This is my friends child. Her son and my son were best friends when they were younger. They are only a week a part in age. We moved into a very competitive, fast moving school district, probably one of the reasons it was suggested DS be held back.

Though it was suggested my friends son be held back too. Their school district isn't as fast moving or competitve as where we live so she sent her son. He's now in 5th grade and fights and fights hard with constant studying and tutoring for every "C" and occasional "B" he gets.

Its actually painful to watch sometimes. Yea, my son may be older, but he's more confident and self-assured. I'm not saying all kids need to be held back because there are kids in DS's class that weren't kept back and do fine.

But for my son, it was the right decision.

Let me just clarify that I am not picking on you and your decisions because I don't know you and I obviously cannot make an assesment of your child. That being said let me explain myself a bit.
Pre-schools are a business. They make money if your child is there. Having the experience of more than one pre-school I can tell you that they are not all alike. Let me give you an example.
My DD went to her first year or pre-school at a school that people around here consider exclusive. It was a horror. A big free for all where nobody ever had to do anything they didn't feel like doing. I am not saying that you have to force a kid, but when coloring time is at 10:00 and you didn't feel like it then no big deal. But then when you wanted to color at say 11:00 they accomodated you. Pretty much no rules. How on earth can a child learn how to behave in a classroom?
Now you might say that not all schools are like that and I agree. However, out of the whole class I think maybe one other person besides me saw the writing on the wall with this place. The parents were starry eyed because the teacher would rave about how gifted little Johnny or Suzy was. I admit that I might have been sucked in by that bs too if I had not already had some experience with pre-schools. Of course I think my kids are the best thing to ever walk planet Earth, but a whole class of exceptional children? I don't think so.
What I did end up hearing from many is that the kids from this school ended up being behavioral problems in Kindergarten. Of course, they were used to the free for all. I know my story is long but bear with me. So these kids were sent along with the parents thinking that their little snowflake was gifted and ahead of the game when in reality they were like every other kid except that they had no idea how to behave in school. Hence the behavior issues.
Another pre-school I have had the pleasure (and I do mean that- not sarcastic at all) of my child attending had some bumps to work out. One of my children has always been quick to catch onto things and was already writing and learning to spell words etc. I spoke to the teacher privately and told her that when they are practicing writing, if you see it is too easy for my child then please encourage them to do more. Her response was "well if I do that then they will be ahead in Kindergarten." I had to tell her that I will be the one to take care of that and my child should be challenged. The same way someone who needs extra help should get it, my child should get the extra work too.

So now here is my point with pre-schools. Many are amazing, many are okay, many are nothing more than a business. Many will tell you what you want to hear. I am not saying that is the case with your child, but for many it is. Do you really think that the pages and pages of people here on the DIS are keeping thier kids back for any actual reason? I am sorry but I don't buy it. There is no way that there are that many kids who can't handle Kindergarten. There is always going to be a top and a bottom of the class. Keep reading and you will consistantly see nonsense excuses like "they are really small", "I want an extra year with them" etc. Many parents make this decision before the child is even close to Kindergarten age! How on earth do you know what your child will be able to do at age 5 when they are 2?!

Yes, in some instances a child is not ready. In most I think it is the parent who cannot let their child go to Kindergarten. Believe me, I love my kids home and would be very happy if the school year was only a week long! I was a young Kindergartener. I was 4 when I started. No, K is not the same now as it was then, but I remember being able to read and write (in cursive and print) before I started. So being young isn't always a pre-cursor to fidgety behavior or inability to learn. That is my problem I guess. Many parents look at the age and not the child. They are biased of course as we all are with our children. In the end, parents need to put aside their hearts for a moment and really look at their child as objectively as they can. It is very hard. To be honest I had a pre-school teacher that had to tell me to stop doing everything for my child because they needed to learn. She was right. I wasn't helping my child, I was hindering them. I just wanted to baby them. I can't help it. I love taking care of them.

Being a parent and all the decisions you have to make is never easy. I think we all try to do what is best. At least I hope that is what everyone does. I do think that some reasons that people hold their kids back is superficial and clearly an issue of the parent and not the child.

Again, I am not saying that you are doing those things but I am saying that I do not believe that there are that many kids out there who cannot handle Kindergarten. I really think it is the parents who convince themselves that their kids aren't ready.

I hope this makes it clearer (well as clear as mud! ).

 

[WantToGoNow]

My son had a May birthday and started school that year. He is now in 2nd grade and I have no regrets. If he's academically ready now and you hold him another year there is a big chance that he will be too advanced academically for K and will be bored - as my son was and this resulted in a lot of behavioral issues.

My cousin also had a May child and held her daugther back a year and has regretted it (this child is now in middle school). The girl is a year older than most of the kids in her class and does not like that aspect. Maybe she did better in school by waiting (I have no idea) but socially she's aware that she's not the same age as the others in her class.

We have experience with this as well. There is a boy in my son's class whose mother held him back a year and then he ended up repeating K as well. He was already 7 when he started K the same time as my son . This boy lives down the street from us. Now he is 9 in 2nd grade and towering over all of the other children. This boy is pretty much the street (and school) bully. He has held my son down while other kids kick him and twice has tied him to the basketball pole at school with jumpropes (this stopped after my last conference with the teacher).

I would have a conference with his preschool teacher to get her opinions on whether socially he is ready. I wouldn't hold him back just because his birthday is in the summer before he should start K.

My dd5 will be starting K this fall but her birthday was in December.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

This is always such a heated topic here. Like most things people will believe that what their choise was is the choice that others should make as well. OP we can tell you what our experiences have been on this issue or what our opinions are BUT in no way can that tell you what you should do with your child. As I tell parents of my Pre K students come in and observe your child in the classroom and see how he interacts and how his skills are on par with the other kids what his maturity level is go in with an open mind in the end it is your decision and yours alone and only you will know what is best for your child or your family situation. We do not know your child and because of that we can not really give you advice. As I said I held all 4 of my kids and I do not regret it for a moment. As a teacher I have seen kids go to school when they were age appropriate and struggled every single day. Contrarily I have seen kids we suggested wait a year go to school and do very well. On this topic, don't take our advice use what you know about your child and the school system and base your decision on that. Good Luck!

 

[CharmedLife]

My son has a May birthday and is in full-day kindergarten right now. I can't even imagine having held him back. He had a few "listening" issues at first, but has worked through them. I think that's an adjustment to school in general - it would not have mattered if he was a year older, at some point he will have to adjust. Academically he is doing great, reading before Christmas and far ahead of where his sister was at that age.

DD is 8 and in 3rd grade, and has a July birthday. She also started when she was 5 and is the youngest girl in her class (although there are younger boys). She just brought home all A's on her report card. She is very bright and was more than ready for kindergarten even though she had just turned 5.

I think (just my opinion here, but these are all opinions which is what you asked for) that too many parents hold their kids back for the wrong reasons - size, mom wants the kid home for another year, etc. I know a lot of people say "you'll never regret holding them back" but I personally know many people who DO regret it, because their kid is now way older than all of the other kids in their class and have social issues related to that. They may be bigger than everyone else, assumed that they weren't smart enough to start, etc.

Now I do know kids with summer birthdays who weren't ready for it, and that's fine because it's based on what the CHILD is ready for, not mom and dad. I agree with some of the other posters that it's better to put the child in kindergarten and leave yourself open to the idea that maybe you will repeat it if he/she has trouble, but you will probably be surprised at how well he does if his teachers are already saying (in January) that he is ready.

I think having to sign your kids up for kindergarten in January is part of the problem, it's pretty hard to imagine what your child will be like after 8 more months of learning and development! My recommendation would be to go ahead and sign him up, you can always pull him out in August if you feel at that time that he's just not ready. I personally had signed my daughter up at two different kindergartens because we couldn't decide between public and parochial. It gave me more time to research, meet the teachers, and make the best decision for her and our family.

But in the end I think you need to make your decision based on what your son is going to be ready for. I said my son has a May birthday, but most of his best buddies in his class also have late-spring, early summer birthdays, so he is by no means at a disadvantage, physically or developmentally. Good luck!

ETA: Incidentally, I am a little biased because I have an August birthday and was always the youngest in my class. I never felt any issues from it, socially or academically. I graduated at the top of my class and have two engineering degrees. I don't think I was hurt by starting just after turning 5, and appreciated the extra year of separation between me and my little sister!

 

[Mouse House Mama]

This is always such a heated topic here. Like most things people will believe that what their choise was is the choice that others should make as well. OP we can tell you what our experiences have been on this issue or what our opinions are BUT in no way can that tell you what you should do with your child. As I tell parents of my Pre K students come in and observe your child in the classroom and see how he interacts and how his skills are on par with the other kids what his maturity level is go in with an open mind in the end it is your decision and yours alone and only you will know what is best for your child or your family situation. We do not know your child and because of that we can not really give you advice. As I said I held all 4 of my kids and I do not regret it for a moment. As a teacher I have seen kids go to school when they were age appropriate and struggled every single day. Contrarily I have seen kids we suggested wait a year go to school and do very well. On this topic, don't take our advice use what you know about your child and the school system and base your decision on that. Good Luck!

The problem is that most parents do not have an open mind. They are biased as they should be. How many times have you seen kids who have delays and the parents think their kids are right on par even though you as a teacher have spoken to the parents about it? It happens all the time! You want to shake them and say- "NO! Your child is not acting like his peers!!!!!!" Parents are not always a fair judge of their own kids. I am a parent and I admit this as well. I am not judging you and I don't know you or your kids but I find it very hard to believe that 4 kids from the same house are not ready for Kindergarten on time? Maybe they weren't but I am hard pressed to believe that all of them weren't ready. Again, just my own disbelief and I am not standing in judgement, I just find it hard to believe.

 

[kaysmommie]

I have read most of the replies on this thread. Thought I'd share that I'm going through this same issue right now. First let me say that I sent my DD to Kindergarten when she just turned 5. She is very petitie the size of most 3 year olds and still is. It was hard for her because kindergarten in our district is 7:55 to 2:55 which I think is terribly long school day. She was more than mature enough and was academically were she needed to be. Size is not the issue here at all. She gets A's and B's this year and third garde and school is super easy broing for her. So sending her at 5 was right for her.

Now my DS4 will be 5 this summer. I don't think he is ready to start Kinder in August. He is way too immature and I don't want him to struggle. His learning is right where it should be in my opinion. A few kids in his preschool are ahead with writing & reading skills. The preschool and pediatrician do not think he is mature enough for full day Kindergarten. this is such a struggle making this decision. I want to send because I don't want him to bored when he is 6 and ahead of the other kids. Also him and DD would be in the same school when she is 4th grade and he is Kinder. The following year she will be in middle school for 5th grade, so they would be in two different schools. I honestly don't think he is ready though and I want to do what is best for him. He is the kid who cried at preschool the first 2 weeks and is really quiet most of the time there . I guess well have to see how he does in a few more months.

 

[kaysmommie]

[/b]
When I made that statement I wasn't clear so forgive me. What I meant was kindergarten is not for kids turning 7. So 4 almost 5, 5 almost 6, but basically a 5 year old. That is when the schools have determined that Kindergarten should be. I know that each child is different and needs to be judged accordingly. I don't need to ask my child's teacher. The point I am making is that a lot of parents do not look at the child with an unbiased opinion. They look at the birthday and make the decision. That is what I find silly (for lack of a better word) about it. It is not helping that child at all. It is not the gift of time. It is a parent making a decision w/out really looking at what their child is capable of. I am not saying you did that but there are many many people who do. For all the people on the Dis that hold their kids back do you really believe that that many kids aren't ready? I don't. Then they come on in a few years raving about how their kids are gifted! They aren't gifted. They are above their class because they are a year older! They are right where they should be, but according to the grade they are in they now gifted.
I think it has gotten out of hand.
I hope this explains what I mean a little better.

Honestly I agree with you because I see this all the time. DD has 10 year old in third grade with her. their paretns rave about how gifted they are and how they read on 6th grade level. Well that is because they are a year or more older thanthe other kids. But I'm in a similair situation as the OP as you'll see posted above with my DS4. Nothing to do with his summer Bday. He really isn't ready maturity wise. He did everything way later than my DD. The preschool teacher and pediatrician also think he is not ready. Last week that had a supstitute teacher and she forgot to give my DS his lunchbox and the rest of the kids were eating already. he just sat there ready to cry and never raised his hand or said anything. When the teaching assistant came in she noticed it that the sub just forgot about him . When his regular teacher is there we have no problems other than him being really shy. The teacher says he is very smart though .Never thought I would be in this situation. Until 2 years ago I though all kids started school at age 5 and that was that. We are just going to see how he is doing towards the end of preschool because I don't want him to be bored if we keep him back. Our school is very focused on test scores but I wouldn't say they push the kids too much. I like reading what others have done in this situation. Sorry this is so long. Guess I needed to vent.

 

[nicki.momof3]

My sons are currently in kindergarten (Nov. b-day - started at 4) and my other son is in first grade (May birthday - started at 5).

Both of them are normal children - not advanced not behind and they are doing great in school. I do not see the point of holding a child off grade level unless he or she is developmentally behind.

There are a couple of 6 year olds in my sons kindergarten class. Another thing one mom of a 6 year old faced was he could not be on his classmates flag football team this fall. The team was divided into divisions with 4-5 year olds together and 6-7 year olds together. 6 boys in the class played on the team (them match teams up by school and such) and he was placed on the "1st grade" team because he was older.

If you want to get him used to full days send him to some all day -week long day camps in August.

He will be fine.

 

[MegaDisney]

Around here it seems like holding the boys back is the latest parenting fad. I had a mom in my son's preschool class tell me she was holding her son back because as a boy, she wanted him to be one of the oldest in his class. This kid was smart as a whip, one of the friendliest, nicest kids in that preschool class, and was more than ready for kindergarten. But mommy was holing him back for the simple reason that she wanted to, and that was that. Completely selfish.

This "holding back" fad is something I had never even heard of until a year or 2 ago. Now you have parents of 2 and 3 year olds ALREADY deciding to hold their kids back. WHY????? Why not wait and assess your child when the time comes? To make the decision for your child as a 2 year old, to me, is so completely ridiculous I just can't even begin to relate to it. Why don't parents assume that the child will go if they meet the age requirement, but assess the child as the time for kindy nears to see where they are at? It's like these parents have already decided that the kid is staying back, no matter what. You can't tell at age 2 that a child will not be ready. Please.

As a previous poster stated, kindergarten is for 5 year olds. There's a reason why we don't send kids to school starting at age 7 or 8.

 

[AC7179]

This is an interesting discussion for me, particularly given that we have the opposite problem. DD is a Decemebr baby. She's very bright, and at 3 is starting to read (no writing yet), doing basic math, etc. but our cutoff is 9/30--no exceptions. So I'm in a position where I'm being forced to eait until she's nearly 6 to put her in school. RIDICULOUS!

I feel really strongly that there should be some kind of assessment of children rather than depending soley on the date of birth. It's so frustrating. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a manual on how to deal with these little people?

We're in the same boat. I have a September baby, well--she's four now, but she won't be five until after our school deadline next year (September 1st). She is starting to read, write, etc. She's not a genius, or smarter than any other kid, she has just started enjoying those kinds of things and has progressed. She also has a 15 year old sister that loves to "teach" her.

She's in a multi-age classroom right now (3,4, and K) and is doing the 3 year old year this year (since she was 3 on September 1st). Anyway, she has had some issues with not wanting to go to school in the mornings (whining, etc.), and her teacher told me that she really can not relate at all to her peer group because she is so much more verbal and academically advanced. She is much happier playing with the 4s and Ks, and her teacher said that she's actually more academically advanced than all but 2 of the kids in the 4 year old group. Let me repeat that I don't think she's a genius---I thinks she's just in a phase were she really enjoys academics, and it very well may taper off later.

That said, she's also very big for her age and looks like a giant next to her 3 year old group. On the other hand, she can also be whiny and distracted, so in that sense it would be good to wait.

Our solution was to continue to pay an arm and a leg for her private school and she will stay in her multiage classroom. They tailor academics to each child's ability, so at least she is challenged. The problem is going to be when to wean her off of that school. It's expensive and althogh I LOVE it, I'd like to put in public school for K, but I'm afraid she might be a behavior problem if she's already learned what they are teaching.

Ugh, who said parenting would be easy?

 

[mommyof3rookies]

Yes, it could very well make a diference if your kid is left home for another year. Some children are not mature enough at 5 to sit through a whole or even 1/2 day of instruction. Kindergarten isn't coloring and fingerpaints anymore. At least ours isn't. It is reading, writing, 2nd language skills and so on.

For my son it was the right decision. He would have never survived a full day of instruction at 5 years old. My daughter would be bored if we held her back. All kids are different and must be judged accordingly.

If a child is going to struggle academically ie. reading comprehension, etc. it will not matter if you kept them home for an extra year. They will always struggle with this area, it's called a learning disability.

 

[dogluva]

I couldn't possibly be the only mother on here with THREE boys who were all ready for Kind. at five. One was actually four and he was a leader in his class. My girls, all three, same thing. Ok, they weren't mature but please tell me what five year old is? I am hearing all abou this maturity thing and reallly, how is a five year old suppossed to act? If your child is shy, sorry, he may be shy next year too.

Of course nobody on here's child is anything but smart. They are all smart. It is never about intelligence. It is all about being mature. Give me a break.

I have a real problem with an almost seven year old in Kindergarten. I really don't think they should be around a just five year old. It makes no sense and is not fair to the kids whose parents sent them on time. They really are at an unfair advantage.

I think there has to be some limits set. I really can see late June, July, August (in some, not all) cases. However, not all summer boys have to be held back. And any month before May is just being silly.THere are a few, not all that I am seeing. It is like nobody sends there boys to school on time anymore.

Is this a new way to make others think you are the perfect parent? It is like a fad that started after I send my oldest to school. Thank God it didn't catch on until recently because they are November and August. The cut off then was December and I didn't ever think of holding them back. I think they would have hated me if I had.

 

[eeyorethegreat]

The problem is that most parents do not have an open mind. They are biased as they should be. How many times have you seen kids who have delays and the parents think their kids are right on par even though you as a teacher have spoken to the parents about it? It happens all the time! You want to shake them and say- "NO! Your child is not acting like his peers!!!!!!" Parents are not always a fair judge of their own kids. I am a parent and I admit this as well. I am not judging you and I don't know you or your kids but I find it very hard to believe that 4 kids from the same house are not ready for Kindergarten on time? Maybe they weren't but I am hard pressed to believe that all of them weren't ready. Again, just my own disbelief and I am not standing in judgement, I just find it hard to believe.

Well actually by that statement you are passing judgment. That's like saying "I don't mean to offend anyone but..." You don't have to believe.

This is exactly why I told OP that none of us here on the DIS can judge whether her child is ready for Kindergarten. Because there are too many people who will be "hard pressed to believe" one way or the other. When in all actuality our personal experiences and opinions should have no bearing what so ever on what the OP as a parent decides. I'd hate to think that any parent would base a decision based on what she or he read on a Disney message board. I am sure that OP will make the very best decision for her child based on what she knows about her child and the school system as well as family circumstances.

And yes, I do know what it is like to be frustrated with a parent for not accepting when their child needs something extra, whether that be another year before going to K or other services. I just had a parent pull her non verbal child from speech therapy today.

OP is concerned about her child's readiness for Kindergarten. That tells me that she is, more likely than not, going at this with an open mind. OP I wish you and your son all the best not matter what decision you come to.

 

[Binnie]

Anyway, she has had some issues with not wanting to go to school in the mornings (whining, etc.), and her teacher told me that she really can not relate at all to her peer group because she is so much more verbal and academically advanced. She is much happier playing with the 4s and Ks, and her teacher said that she's actually more academically advanced than all but 2 of the kids in the 4 year old group. Let me repeat that I don't think she's a genius---I thinks she's just in a phase were she really enjoys academics, and it very well may taper off later.

That said, she's also very big for her age and looks like a giant next to her 3 year old group. On the other hand, she can also be whiny and distracted, so in that sense it would be good to wait.

Our solution was to continue to pay an arm and a leg for her private school and she will stay in her multiage classroom. They tailor academics to each child's ability, so at least she is challenged. The problem is going to be when to wean her off of that school. It's expensive and althogh I LOVE it, I'd like to put in public school for K, but I'm afraid she might be a behavior problem if she's already learned what they are teaching.

Ugh, who said parenting would be easy?

We have really similar problems with my DD3. For us the whining seems to correlate to her being done with the class she's in. Once she gets to be the biggest kid, she doesn't want to be there anymore.

We're at one of those points right now. All her friends (who are at least 6 months older than her) are starting to move to the next class (3.5-4), so she has to play with the babies (her words) or by herself, and since she's there for socialization, that kind of defeats the point. I'm going to have to go in for a meeting with the Director in the next week or so, which I'm dreading.

I've been looking for a private school to even consider her for admission, but I can't even get that! Apparently in VA they're much more rigid about dates that I'm used to.

ARGH! Seriously, what are we supposed to do with these bright kids?! At least i know I"m not the only one struggling.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Well actually by that statement you are passing judgment. That's like saying "I don't mean to offend anyone but..." You don't have to believe.

This is exactly why I told OP that none of us here on the DIS can judge whether her child is ready for Kindergarten. Because there are too many people who will be "hard pressed to believe" one way or the other. When in all actuality our personal experiences and opinions should have no bearing what so ever on what the OP as a parent decides. I'd hate to think that any parent would base a decision based on what she or he read on a Disney message board. I am sure that OP will make the very best decision for her child based on what she knows about her child and the school system as well as family circumstances.

And yes, I do know what it is like to be frustrated with a parent for not accepting when their child needs something extra, whether that be another year before going to K or other services. I just had a parent pull her non verbal child from speech therapy today.

OP is concerned about her child's readiness for Kindergarten. That tells me that she is, more likely than not, going at this with an open mind. OP I wish you and your son all the best not matter what decision you come to.

Well I guess you can see it as judgement and I guess it somewhat is. I just don't really believe that 4 children in the same family are not ready for K unless there are some sort of delays which you haven't mentioned so I am assuming they are all typically developing. Meaning that the likelyhood of something like that happening seem to be slim to none. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you so please understand that. I am basing this on my experience in my own neighborhood regarding this issue. I truly am not trying to insult you or your family. I guess I am just not coming across right. If you were sitting in front of me I might be able to explain better.

I still do not believe that most parents have a truly open mind when it comes to their kids. Yes, the OP is asking if their child is ready, but many times friends and family will assure them one way or the other and they will agree because of a parent's natural inclination to defend out children. If you want to know then have the child screened for K. Talk to their teachers about their behaviors and school performance. Then look honestly at your child.
I truly wish the OP the best with her decision. I am sorry if I offended anyone. I know I am not coming across in the way that I am intending.

 

[brymolmom]

I haven't read the other posts (have been involved in many debates on this and don't want to get my blood pressure up right now), but OP - just remember this - if your child is the age that your school system accepts Kindergarteners, then he is really only too 'immature' or lacking social skills if he is WAY BEHIND kids his own age. If this is the case - you might want to talk to your ped about that. If he is about on track with other 4 year olds who will be 5 this summer, who really, aren't very mature yet, then he is RIGHT ON TRACK for where he should be for your Kindergarten class - since this is what they expect and gear the class toward.

Just keep in mind that if you do decide to wait, don't go getting all 'he needs more challenging material' with the teachers in K or 1st grade...If you truly WANT him to have more challenging material - you are being given that opportunity by sending him on time - and it is your choice if you decide not to provide that to him yourself. So if you decide to withhold this, it really isn't fair for you to change your mind when he is an entire year older than the other kids. I mean, almost every 6 year old I know already knows the material that is being covered in my dd (5 - turned 5 in October was in K for almost 2 months at 4)'s Kindergarten class. So he will likely already know a lot of it if he is at least average in his academics. Just don't want your cake after eating it....

 

[MTW]

I really appreciate hearing from both sides of the discussions. I think that excellent points are being made and I am hearing a few things that I had not thought of.
Tomorrow night is the kindergarten readiness meeting at his preschool and we are going to attend that. We also know one of the first grade teachers and will probably ask her to spend some time with Wyatt and get her opinion. At this point, we'll probably enroll him and make a better informed decision the closer we get to August. I need to have a better feel for what is expected as a kindergartner in this school district. The high school is among the top 5% in the country, but I'm not sure what the expectations are for elementary students. I do know that he cannot write his name and has a few problems with his cutting (motor) skills. I think that he will always have a "social butterfly" issue which was one of my concerns. He gets that honestly from me - hey - I had my mouth duct taped shut in 7th grade!
I truly appreciate all of the open discussion points. I just want to make the best decision for MY child...don't we all!

 

[disney fan 1994]

From NJ the cut off for our school is Oct. Our DD b-day is 8/31 we did send her because her pre-school teacher said she was ready. We knew she could do it but didn't want to get down the road and find it difficult for her. She is smaller than the rest of the kids to. We sent her because she needed to be in a program didn't want to pull her out of school setting since she has been in daycare since 8 weeks old. When we signed her up we told them that she would do it again next year because we wanted her to start at 6 to give her the extra year. Yes she knew her phone # ABC sign language,and how to write her first and last name. We are so pleased with our choice. Everytime I see a teacher that can't believe the difference from last to this year. Our school calls it the gift of time. Best choice we could have made for her.

She is doing excellent and was fine with the decision she knew that she was going to do it again this year. Transition into this year no problem and now has double the friends the other kids that are now in 1st see her and say hi

To the person that said send her because kindergarten is for 5 year old. thats fine in your oppioion but k is not what it used to be and by fourth grade is not the time to say I wish we would have given her more time. They are learning Italian, Spanish, Math, Reading, and Science this is Kindergarten now. It's not about eating paste anymore

My opinion take it for what it's worth: Keep your little one little as long as you can don't try to rush them along. An extra year could mean so much down the road, grade, sports, having to find rides from other kids because they are younger than everyone.

I hope this helped

 

[C&G'sMama]

IMO do what you beleive is best for YOUR child. Yes, there's this number, 5, out there for kindergarten. Some states have a cut off date of September 1, October 1, November 1, December 1st. Our kids don't fit in a box. That's one of the problems with schools. We try to fit all these kids into one category and heaven help those that don't fit. If you want to wait a year, wait a year. For those that have a younger kid that you think is ready for K. Can you find a local Catholic or Christian school that will let them in? Will your district then let your child in 1st the following year if they have already completed an accredited kindergarten in your state?

My son is brilliant, big for his age and incredibly immature. He reads at a 4th grade level, does math in his head and is a 5 year old in an 8 years old's body. On the other hand he is greatly lacking in social skills. So do we move him ahead for the academics or hold him back for the social? Or just leave him with his age group? (it's a rhetorical question)




And don't even get me started on how I feel our boys are underserved by the school systems.


We have family in other states whose children would have been eligible for Kindergarten here in New York, but their cutoff is earlier. On the other hand we have family that lives in state with a September 1st deadline that waited until their son (Early August Birthday) was 6 to start K. In our state that would be "old" In their home state it's "normal".

 

[disney fan 1994]

I don't want to offend anyone this is just for conversation sake: Question no matter when you decide to send your child all the way through school years you will always have 2 different age groups. There will always be the older kids and younger one even if they all went to school at age 5. Everone has different b-days. I just think it is up to the parents what they want to do. But not many people regret making the decision when the hold them back, but it sounds like some people didn't have the choice and don't like decision that others make by holding their kids back. If this makes any sense not sure. I think that it would be easier if they make all the school cut off 6 months before school start date. Then school has started and they will have to wait until start of a new year. Who came up with a cut off of year has started 2 months in then cut it off. That makes no sense. For Nj it should be April or May.