Send 10 year old boy to mens room??

[NewEnglandDisney]

Girls restrooms have stall doors, you don't see anything what is the big deal. The thing I don't like is when my husband had to take my daughter in the mens room, they don't have stall doors.

My son is now 9 and tall for his age. I make every effort to find a family bathroom at WDW. I know where they all are. If for some reason there is no family bathroom I take him into the womens, he doesn't really care that much. He turns his head as much as he can even though there are stalls. I am sorry it is a scary world out there and I have heard to many horror stories.

Can I ask you a question?

In all seriousness. What are you afraid of?

If you stand outside the door, you could hear any yells for help that came (not to mention WDW is a busy place and there will likely be other families in the rest room), and a good half the time I'm ever in a large restroom at WDW there is a CM cleaning the place.

No one is going to be able to hide your son under a coat and get past you.

I know there are moms here that clearly love their children very much, but you know how the saying goes - when you truly love something you learn to let go. Boys need to learn how to be young men, and even if they say they are okay with it I bet they wouldn't tell their male friends at school. They'd be teased endlessly about not being able to go "potty" without "mommy".

But it's not just about socially, it's about developmentally. I'm sorry to take this so seriously, but as a grown man I can tell you that if you aren't going to the bathroom on your own by the time you are old enough to know what an errection is or to be curious about the opposite sex you are too old to go into a ladies room (and at 10 that is definately happening, if you know about it or not). This can create problems later that are beyond the scope of this board.

I'm honestly not posting out of argument sake, but in all seriousness - let your "babies" (I know, my mom STILL calls me that!) grow up and be young men. They will thank you in the long run.

N.E.D.

 

[lllovell]

This borderlines on overprotecting to me. I am a mother and am always quite concerned about the wellfare of my children, but I have sent my 5 year old into the men's room at WDW when the line in the women's side is so long that I could tell he wouldn't make it. I stood at the door, told him no to talk to anyone and yell if there is a problem, that I would be right here. He was in and out in no time. Would I do it again? Yes, if it meant the difference between my son having an accident or not having one.

10 years old is old enough to learn to fend for ones self. I cannot believe your son isnt already insisting on going alone to the men's room when he needs to. I do understand safety issues. My two son's and I travel alone at times and have to deal with things like this constantly. They are small enough at the moment to come with me, but the time will come when they are expected to go alone. Raising them to be cautious is fantastic. Raising them to be terrified is something I am trying hard NOT to do. There is a balance there that all of us strive to meet. I hope you and your son can find that balance. His self esteem will soar when he realizes he is independent enough that you trust HIM to do the right thing no matter what someone else is doing.

The rest rooms at WDW are probably some of the safest in the world. They are full of FATHERS who understand your concerns about your child. Many smiled at me standing at the door, fully understanding. My son's and I have a way of communicating if this potty break is going to take a while or not, so that I can do MY part and not embarrass him or rush him while making sure he is ok. If someone was harassing my child, the first thing they know to say is "I don't know you - get away please" which lets everyone else know that something is wrong. I would get involved right away if I heard a child saying that to an adult and so would some (if not most) of the fathers in the restroom with your son.

Have faith in him. Teach him well. He has to learn to face the world himself at some point and little steps like this one show him that he is capable of doing it all by himself and will make him stronger for true battles that will come.

 

[yeartolate]

10 years old is way too old to be going in with mommy (unless the child is disabled in some way) As an adult woman, I really would not like to see an older boy in the ladies room. It seems a bit pervy. My son just turned 11 and he would be mortified (thank goodnesss) if I dragged him into the woman's room.


Part of protecting your child includes fostering independence and helping them interact with the real world. If they always have mommy around they will have a poor sense of how to sense and manage these dangers.

 

[crzy4mickey]

Instead of criticizing someone for a standard that seems inappropriate to one person, we should commend the parent for caring enough to want to safeguard their precious child.

AMEN!

having a 10 year old i have to admit that 10 is old to take into the ladies bathroom and as a mom I found it very difficult to let him "go alone" these past few years. But it's my decision and no one else has a right to criticize me.

I once heard of a story where a mom let her young (maybe 6 or 7) go into the mens room by himself at a park (not WDW) and there was a man in there with a knife and tried to slash the child. When the mother heard the child scream she came running in and the man ran out. It only takes a second for something bad to happen. Go ahead Mom's out there, do what you need to keep your children safe!

 

[bryon]

What about the 10 year old girls in the ladies room. I bet they would not enjoy seeing a boy there own age in the same bathroom with them.

Ask any 10 year old girl if they want a boy classmate in the same room with them when they are using the bathroom.

This topic makes me sick. I can not believe someone would take a 10 year old boy in the ladies room. And I can not believe so many people disagree with me.

All the ladies who think it is ok....Think back to when you were 10 and using the restroom. Would you want a boy from your school in the stall next to you?

 

[lllovell]

Well, my DS is 7, and I'm not about to let him go into a Men's room by himself. I don't care who it upsets. This is my child, and it is my job to protect him. If it makes someone else uncomfortable, so be it. A child's safety is paramount, and much more important than any "discomfort".

snip...

Instead of criticizing someone for a standard that seems inappropriate to one person, we should commend the parent for caring enough to want to safeguard their precious child.

There is a huge difference between 7 and 10. No one is saying this is a bad mother for not wanting her son in a place where she cannot protect him. Most of us are saying that by the age of 10, he should know how to take care of himself enough to go to the restroom alone.

Also, I don't think this standard seems inappropriate to one person. If I saw a 10 year old in the women's restroom, I would wonder. It seems that many here also would wonder as well. The ladies that commented in the one post - that was totally uncalled for and rude.

The community bathrooms at WDW are there for a reason and now that the OP has been given a list of where they are located, I would hope that an effort will be made to use them. That way, she can wait outside, giving her son the privacy he needs and I am sure desires at 10 and she doesn't have to worry. A 10 year old can handle scheduled potty breaks - so it shouldn't be hard to handle this that way.

 

[buddy&wooz]

Personally, I think 10 is too old to use the ladies room. I'd think he'd be embarrassed? I think waiting outside the mens room door and instructing him to do his business and come right outside would be fine- that's what I do.

I have to agree, though, that the women getting worked up about a boy in the ladies room are really overreacting, and rude.

 

[bryon]

Hey CRZY4MICKEY.....Just to let you know, that is a URBAN LEGEND that almost every town has. My city just had the same URBAN LEGEND circulate at one of our malls last year.

Even if it was true...Thats one bathroom at one time, the odds of your son/daughter getting stuck in the toilet is more likely to happen.

 

[WDWendy]

Thanks for the list Disneyonmymind!!!

I don't think I would ever shame another parent for attempting to protect their children, or tell someone else what to do with their child, but that is just me...

PS Um no, they are not all urban myths. Ask anyone in Law Enforcement.

 

[java]

Urban legend?? I think not.
http://archive.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/12/01feature2.html
gives details of just a few things that have happened to kids in restrooms.

 

[lllovell]

Thanks for the list Disneyonmymind!!!

I don't think I would ever shame another parent for attempting to protect their children, or tell someone else what to do with their child, but that is just me...

When you post something like this, you are probably hoping for support, but you also open yourself up to comments from people that disagree. I bet not one of us would ever say anything to the OP if she was in the restroom with us. I certainly wouldn't, especially if her son could hear me. (I might as a friend though, if I knew her personally).

I am not trying to shame. I am simply giving my opinion - - - as most here are.

 

[crzy4mickey]

I have to agree with lllovell, WDW probably has the safest restrooms in the world. When we were there when my son was 8 he used the bathrooms alone and never had a problem, but as most of you know....never come between a mother and her child! Although nervous, i let him use the restroom at 8 by himself. I would be imbarressed for him if I took a 10 yo in the ladies room. But everyone has to do what is best for their families.

 

[WDWendy]

Not looking for support, just saying that it really isn't my place to judge others.

 

[hokiefan33]

At 10 years old, unless he is developmentally disabled, a young man should be going to the bathroom by himself. That is wayyyyy to old to be going to the ladies room.

Otherwise you may be really causing damage - no joke. He's just shy of puberty, and if I had been him at that age I wouldn't have been in tears because of the lady's comment, but out of embarassment.

Let your son go to the bathroom by himself. I'm not sure what you are worried about, but remember - you are at Disney World. That doesn't mean you should totally let your guard down universally, but at his age he should know enough to yell, scream, or even bite at (if his mouth was covered) a stranger if need be. There are people everywhere and it's not like someone is going to hide him under a coat and kidnap him.

Speaking for boys/men everywhere - PLEASE let him go to the bathroom by himself!

N.E.D.

I absolutely agree. By the age of 10, he should be able to go to the bathroom himself. And I'm sure he can, it seems like you are the one who might need to "turn him loose" a little and let him grow up. He's no longer a small 4-year old; he's 10! I wouldn't want a 10-year old girl coming into the men's room, and I doubt you would want someone else's 10-year old boy coming into the ladies' room and staring at you, would you? There's normally only 1 way into the bathrooms at WDW, so as long as you're standing at the entrance, you would see if anyone tried to take him. And as far as anyone in the bathroom hurting him, there are normally enough people in the bathroom that if anything like what your worried about was happening, I'm sure another person would hopefully step in and intervene. I know I would.

Let him grow up. He is ready.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

I would not wonder for a moment if I saw a 10-year old with his mother in the women's restroom. I meant that just because the standard seems inappropriate to you, that does not mean it is not appropriate for other people.

It only takes a moment for an incident to scar your child for life. If I am overly cautious, that's how it is.

Parents raise their children with different considerations of what is safe, and I refuse to judge someone else deficient because I have a different standard than they do. I would hope for the same courtesy.

Parents should do what they feel comfortable doing in regards to issues of sending their children into restrooms, down the hall for a bucket of ice, etc. I think it is insensitive to suggest that some momentary "discomfort" is more important than a child's perceived safety. Note: I said "perceived". If you believe a situation is unsafe for your child, you are not being responsible as a parent if you place your child in that situation.

 

[lllovell]

Not looking for support, just saying that it really isn't my place to judge others.

Not you hun - the OP. I see your point and have no problems with it. I also think that a lot of what goes on in threads like this isn't so much judging as giving opinions. Its what keeps the conversation going. Its about how you view the "judging" I think. (also, not everyone is non-judgemental - you are correct)

 

[crzy4mickey]

sorry byron....this story is not an urban legand....It was posted in the paper. I also know several people in law enforcement and there are stories you just can't believe would ever happen... it is my duty as a mom to protect my children and nothing will stop me from doing so.

I do however, let my 10yo "go" it alone.

 

[sanctus]

For the people who are asking "what are you afraid of" as if you're crazy, let me just say.....

No one could sneak your child out past you, that's true. Unless this is one of the restrooms with more than one entrance. However, lots of things can be done *in the restroom. If someone approaches my child, I've taught him to yell, scream, hit, fight, WHATEVER it takes. But this is what you do *after you've been approached. This is what you do *after the scary man tries to touch you, or touches himself inappropriately in front of you. *AFTER is too late, in my book.

I let my son, 9, go to the men's room alone most of the time. But I hate it. And there are places I won't let him. There is actually a website (or was at some point) that listed public restrooms that were known locations for, shall we say, assignations. Department stores, by the way, were highly represented.

We all do what we need to do to protect our children. As long as your child is pre-puberty, if you feel like you need him with you, I say bring him.

 

[jana]

My DS has been going on his own since he was 9. That's when the whole EEEEEWWWWWWEEEE I'm not a girl I'm not going in there thing started.
I don't think you have to overly warn a 10 yr old about other people in the bathroom either. That's when they start being more shy about things so they overly try to make sure no one sees them.

 

[java]

Hey CRZY4MICKEY.....Just to let you know, that is a URBAN LEGEND that almost every town has. My city just had the same URBAN LEGEND circulate at one of our malls last year.

Even if it was true...Thats one bathroom at one time, the odds of your son/daughter getting stuck in the toilet is more likely to happen.

instead of judging check the facts
some info on that story and others her
http://archive.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/12/01feature2.html