8!! Bless your parents. I'm barely holding it together with twothank you!!!!
Okay I just read about the birth control. Nope, they can stay in hotel next time. Taking your things from your home breaches trust. Did she do this due to her religion, as well? Didn't the Pope say birth control is okay? Either way, she has no right to take away your birth control for any reason whatsoever.
I agree, I don't really want to be the one to confront her. Better DH do it. FIL puts up with way more of the eccentric nature, he must be a saint!So initially I was willing to chalk this up to her being well Intentioned. But reading about the BCP incident- ya there is a big problem here. Really at that point I would have told them they need to stay in a hotel from now on. I mean even with the BCP if she wanted to address it there are so many other ways. Even my parents - with 8- stay out of that. The most we hear is how wonderful kids are and how we should have more. Not a lecture on child family practices. I’m sorry she did this - but for your sake you need to have DH have a conversation with them and they should be in a hotel the next few visits - at a minimum.
I think DH was more ticked about the pills than the salt episode this time, it was a huge headache getting them replaced with doctor's authorization since I had just filled them.....then the insurance wouldn't cover any of it. This is by far not the craziest thing she has done....family have to love them !Okay, the birth control thing is beyond the pale. Why would anyone think it's okay to mess with another person's medication? Some women use the Pill to regulate their periods, but in any case, it's nobody's business but you and your DH, if you choose to use birth control. I'm kind of surprised that you let her back in your home after that stunt.
I will reiterate, you have to be up for some kind of "Most Bizarre Mother-in-Law" prize. I hope you will soon be able to see the humor, because it's either laugh or cry. Also, be grateful that your DH is relatively normal.
I completely agree, I love MIL, and if she apologises I can forgive and move on...but we need to set some boundaries before they visit again. They were last here over independence day week 2018. She asked for ibuprofen one day, I told her it was in our medicine cabinet in the master bath. The next morning I went to take my birth control pills, and it was gone. I didn't know what happened, asked my DH, he had no clue. After I told DH she had been in there to get ibuprofen he approached her, she admitted to throwing away 2 and a half pill packs. It was a 3 month prescription that cost us $287.00( formulary, the generic was giving me headaches.) She didn't even apologise then, just said Catholics do not take bc. I completely realize this, but after surprise DD1 at age 36, that is up every 15 minutes all night every night....I am tired so DH and I decided together that taking it was the best option for us. DH had a long chat with her on that visit....we obviously need some definitive boundaries that aren't set yet.
I am happy to hear that all has worked out for you, DH and his mom! I think/ hope we will get there one day too![]()
I’m sorry but your MIL meant no harm from what I understand, and even though she’s should not have done it without asking, it seems she meant well. She probably lied because she is not confrontational and did not want to argue. I’m not defending her, it was wrong, but I bet she’s is heartbroken. I would have DH (since it’s his parents) discuss it with them and set future “rules” when visiting. Please remember that they won’t be around forever and trips and visits will be special memories. One day after the mess is cleaned up ( and by the way, I would just clean it up. It’s salt) and the hurt feelings are gone, you will look back at this and laugh. Please don’t be too harsh but definitely set boundaries.
Her meaning well doesn't fix the fact that she made a huge mess, and then lied about it. Neither thing is ok. If she is heartbroken, she brought it upon her self. Adults shouldn't behave that way. Btw, I am Catholic, and have been all my life. And I would still be mad if someone did that in my home, and then lied to my face about it.
Wow some of you people are vicious, lol. I’m not saying OP shouldn’t be mad, more so about the BCP incident, which was costly and could have potentially caused an unplanned pregnancy, but all I’m trying to say that life is short, too short to hold grudges. OP felt she had a good relationship with MIL and I am not catholic so I don’t totally understand the holy salts but I feel she thought it would bring good things to her family. I try to use positive intent.
I don't know anyone who is my family, in-laws or otherwise, who would be so cavalier with my health (it's not just about an unplanned pregnancy) . That would not be holding a grudge that would be protecting myself and I would have zero qualms about that.Wow some of you people are vicious, lol. I’m not saying OP shouldn’t be mad, more so about the BCP incident, which was costly and could have potentially caused an unplanned pregnancy, but all I’m trying to say that life is short, too short to hold grudges. OP felt she had a good relationship with MIL and I am not catholic so I don’t totally understand the holy salts but I feel she thought it would bring good things to her family. I try to use positive intent.
Vicious is a strong word. No one is telling OP to scream at or insult her MIL. Many are saying NOT to send a bill to her. It is completely acceptable for OP to have boundaries. The MIL will probably see boundaries as "vicious" as well. MIL admitted she poured the salt in one room and then LIED about doing it in the rest of the house, knowing full well that her son and DIL would find the salt. She also stole medication from their home, which is really passive aggressive behavior that interferes with her adult son's family planning. It also interferes with DILs right to have autonomy over her own choices regarding pregnancy and her body. I do not think the responses on this thread have been vicious.Wow some of you people are vicious, lol. I’m not saying OP shouldn’t be mad, more so about the BCP incident, which was costly and could have potentially caused an unplanned pregnancy, but all I’m trying to say that life is short, too short to hold grudges. OP felt she had a good relationship with MIL and I am not catholic so I don’t totally understand the holy salts but I feel she thought it would bring good things to her family. I try to use positive intent.
Did anyone notice my lol after the word vicious? But it is easier for us to sit back and say never to let her back in OP home. It was rude and disrespectful but boundaries should have been placed after the BC incident but apparently was not. OP and DH must enjoy time with the in-laws because they were going to surprise them with a trip. A trip that their children will always remember with their grandparents and visa versa. All I am saying is not to make rash decisions in anger over something that although was WAY wrong for her to do was not done with the intent of malice.if she can’t be trusted in the hone then maybe paying for a hotel room is the answer, if that isn’t in the budget, “MIL proof” the house before she visits. (After DH sets strict rules) I know I am a minority here and I will shut up now and find some less intense postsVicious is a strong word. No one is telling OP to scream at or insult her MIL. Many are saying NOT to send a bill to her. It is completely acceptable for OP to have boundaries. The MIL will probably see boundaries as "vicious" as well. MIL admitted she poured the salt in one room and then LIED about doing in the rest of the house, knowing full well that her son and DIL would find the salt. She also stole medication from their home, which is really passive aggressive behavior that interferes with her adult son's family planning. It also interferes with DILs right to have autonomy over her own choices regarding pregnancy and her body. I do not think the responses on this board have been vicious.
Did anyone notice my lol after the word vicious? But it is easier for us to sit back and say never to let her back in OP home. It was rude and disrespectful but boundaries should have been placed after the BC incident but apparently was not. OP and DH must enjoy time with the in-laws because they were going to surprise them with a trip. A trip that their children will always remember with their grandparents and visa versa. All I am saying is not to make rash decisions in anger over something that although was WAY wrong for her to do was not done with the intent of malice.if she can’t be trusted in the hone then maybe paying for a hotel room is the answer, if that isn’t in the budget, “MIL proof” the house before she visits. (After DH sets strict rules) I know I am a minority here and I will shut up now and find some less intense posts