Semantics question.....what does this mean?

[MyGoofy26]

Maybe you should tell her, "I experience you as someone who experiences people smarter than you as rude and disrespectful"

 

[ilovejack02]

Yes. "I experience you as rude and disrespectful."
She also said she was "done with me."

It's my MIL, so I guess I shouldn't be too sad about it, eh?

LOL i honestly just thought..... is there a smile that is flipping someone the bird cuz if there was one If I were you, id send it to the MIL.
Do you think she would think that was rude?

 

[ilovejack02]

I should laugh and be thankful she didn't say "rude and disrespectful you are."

MIL is NEVER wrong. Ever. Even when she IS wrong. She'll never admit it. Ever.

And, because she went to pastoral care college and knows all about communication and dealing with people, she can remember not only WORD FOR WORD what you said to her, but she can also imply what it means too.

UGH.

Thats when you send MIL the 'Im sorry you feel that way " apology note.

 

[Ariel Wanna-be]

You need to tell her "Please don't tell anyone else that you 'experienced' me. Because that is oogy, and it skeeves me out."

 

[Cool-Beans]

If someone says "I experience you as rude and disrespectful" does that mean the same as "You are rude and disrespectful?"

I'm dealing with someone who can carefully craft every word and every sentence and I think they just called me rude and disrespectful but didn't want to use the bad "you" word.

I think it means that the person is dumb, but wants to sound like they are smart and figured that's how smart people talk. I Wouldn't waste a second trying to figure it out or worrying about what someone who can barely speak thinks of me.

"Experiencing" someone sounds kinda erotic.

 

[babytrees]

You need to tell her "Please don't tell anyone else that you 'experienced' me. Because that is oogy, and it skeeves me out."

this whole thing reminds me of my MIL and I but this had me

 

[bicker]

I pretty-much disagree with everyone!

I think it is pretty self-centered to tell someone that they are rude, so acknowledging that all that it is is one's own personal perception of rudeness is a rather enlightened and positive perspective. That person is taking responsibility for their own feelings with regard to you, instead of blaming you for how they feel. I think a lot of people could benefit from the exercise of acknowledging their own perceptions of others as being, at least in part, but in general mostly, something about themselves, rather than being about the person they're having perceptions about.

 

[phorsenuf]

I pretty-much disagree with everyone!

I think it is pretty self-centered to tell someone that they are rude, so acknowledging that all that it is is one's own personal perception of rudeness is a rather enlightened and positive perspective. That person is taking responsibility for their own feelings with regard to you, instead of blaming you for how they feel. I think a lot of people could benefit from the exercise of acknowledging their own perceptions of others as being, at least in part, but in general mostly, something about themselves, rather than being about the person they're having perceptions about.

Huh? English please. LOL

 

[hackorydackorydac]

Bicker, that's a craptacular answer.

If you don't want to make it personal, just say that you think that what someone did was rude.

See - I don't think you're craptacular, just your answer!

 

[OceanAnnie]

I pretty-much disagree with everyone!

I think it is pretty self-centered to tell someone that they are rude, so acknowledging that all that it is is one's own personal perception of rudeness is a rather enlightened and positive perspective. That person is taking responsibility for their own feelings with regard to you, instead of blaming you for how they feel. I think a lot of people could benefit from the exercise of acknowledging their own perceptions of others as being, at least in part, but in general mostly, something about themselves, rather than being about the person they're having perceptions about.

But, when a person is using "their perception" as a tool to be hurtful and end the conversation with, "I'm done with you.", the perception thing kind of goes out the window.

 

[bicker]

How to simplify this..... Hmmmm....

If I say, "You are rude," I'm declaring it as if it were a fact, and therefore implying that the rudeness is your "fault".

If I say, "You seem rude to me," I'm declaring it as a personal feeling. Each person is responsible for their own feelings, so if there is "fault" it is my own.

 

[Cool-Beans]

Huh? English please. LOL

My reality seems to be that I am experiencing your post in a not unpleasant, humorous way.

 

[hackorydackorydac]

Thanks for attempting to 'simplify' it, bicker.

Lord knows, we're all not thinking on the same mighty level of thought that you are.

 

[OceanAnnie]

I'm experiencing that the original evil statement worked they way it was intended.

 

[phorsenuf]

How to simplify this..... Hmmmm....

If I say, "You are rude," I'm declaring it as if it were a fact, and therefore implying that the rudeness is your "fault".

If I say, "You seem rude to me," I'm declaring it as a personal feeling. Each person is responsible for their own feelings, so if there is "fault" it is my own.

OK, see now that makes more sense. I got lost in your last explantion.

 

[Cool-Beans]

How to simplify this..... Hmmmm....

If I say, "You are rude," I'm declaring it as if it were a fact, and therefore implying that the rudeness is your "fault".

If I say, "You seem rude to me," I'm declaring it as a personal feeling. Each person is responsible for their own feelings, so if there is "fault" it is my own.

Are you sure each person is responsible for their own feelings? Really, how do you know? That could just be your interpretation of personal responsibility. The reality might be different.

 

[bicker]

If you don't want to make it personal, just say that you think that what someone did was rude.

That's surely one more level removed from a personal insult, but the OP doesn't indicate that there a specific instance of alleged rudeness was being discussed. So you'd have to say, "What you often do is rude," which seems worse than saying, "You seem rude to me."

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

Don't you just love MIL's.

 

[phorsenuf]

My reality seems to be that I am experiencing your post in a not unpleasant, humorous way.

No, I truly could not get what he was saying.

 

[Cool-Beans]

No, I truly could not get what he was saying.

My apologies.