Selling Genius DNA

[drag n' fly]

It is. Maybe he can sell his DNA, since he went to Yale. How utterly uncooth, a Yale man. Ya'll could make anywhere from $7,000 to $10,000 a sample if its real genius DNA. I thought Yale only allowed geniuses in?

How uncouth indeed

 

[IdesOmarch]

Yeah geniuses never misspell words.

I was just turned down by another bank, apparently 43 is too old. So I have genetically defective and old DNA, completely worthless.

 

[Buckalew11]

Thanks. and I don't blame you. Now this thread has actually made me worry a little more about my little snowflake, I have thought about it before, but doing some more research on it today, makes me a little antsy.

I'm sorry it makes you worry. I had a client who had horrible bouts with eczema and her dd has Crohns. I never knew the 2 were related until another friend's DD was diagnosed with Lupus and there was a history of auto-immune diseases in her family tree. Seriously, I hope your DD stays as healthy as can be.
And getting antsy probably makes the Crohns flare up so be careful with that.

I'm 46 and starting to hear the age remarks from my doctor ("at your age, we start to see this...") and while no fun, it is a fact of life.

I gotta say, you can bug the crap out of me with your high heels and wanting a concubine type threads, but you remind me of someone I knew here once whose posts rubbed me the wrong way but was a super nice man with a heart of gold. So, you tend to bring out some emotion in me.

 

[collegejunkie]

i didn't read the whole thread and i don't know if this is a joke or not, but i know that "smart" women can sell their eggs. i've run across a few places that will pay extra if you are from a top/ivy league school. i believe the most i ever saw was $20,000 from a private family and $10,000 from a practice/hospital. i don't know what they pay men, as it's quite a bit easier to get their "goods" from them. i've considered doing it, but probably wouldn't unless i were already done having kids.

 

[badblackpug]

It is. Maybe he can sell his DNA, since he went to Yale. How utterly uncooth, a Yale man. Ya'll could make anywhere from $7,000 to $10,000 a sample if its real genius DNA. I thought Yale only allowed geniuses in?

No, George W. Bush went to Yale.

Mine too, hence the reason I stopped pretending to be a sparkly unicorn on the internet.

...but the real question is..... where can I buy sparkly unicorn "DNA?"

 

[snapppyd]

Oh I was totally going to look into this, as my whole families IQ's test well into the genius levels, but as I was backing my Bentley down the drive I accidentally ran over my crate of degree's from Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and BYU. (I was int the process of moving it from the west wing to the east wing when Oprah stopped by for a chat (unannounced. So annoying!) and I set it down because it was SO heavy. Lot's in there and all that. I forgot all about it and left in the drive. Good thing I have that other crate full of all my other Phd's.)
So I went into my mansion to get the keys to my other Bentley (I'll donate the other to Goodwill later now that it has a scratch) and found my Nanny ironing my money in the front room. She was only ironing a million and it was taking her FOREVER. I told her it was inappropriate for her to be doing that in the front room, that's what the servants quarters were for, and she should have been wrapped up with it by now. It was only a million. Sheesh! So hard to find good help.
Anyway, my kids were working on their Nobel prize winning experiment in the Chem. lab. (Nothing special, just a fuel alternative of which the by product has been proven to cure cancer...and poverty) and they told me that the stupid Nanny had neglected to feed them lunch! The nerve! They are professional athletes and will be participating in the upcoming olympics, they need nutritional meals served in a timely manner. I immediately called my chef to go into the kitchen and prepare them a fresh 100% organic and local meal. It was taking him forever because the cow wouldn't stand still and he's such a bad shot. I'd fire him too, but he makes a good margarita.
So by the time the kids were eating and I was finished admonishing all the help, it was past noon and I had to prepare for my swimsuit shoot with sports illustrated, so I never did get to go find out about selling genius DNA.
Let me know what you find out. I could really use the money to fund my husbands campaign fund when he runs for President next year.
(I hope he doesn't get elected though...that White house is soooo Old and puny! And it's NOT in a good school district.)

You forgot to mention your BS degree!

 

[snapppyd]

OK, so now I have to prove I'm a genius?

Can do. I thought of a way, you can test me. But it can't be occupation specific questions, or stuff I could just google, like what is the Atomic Mass of Chromium. I guess the best way is to give me a problem to solve logically, a real world scenario (can be something you're dealing with on a personal basis now) and whatever answer I give you I'll let you be the judge in whether or not it was a genius answer. Fair enough. Take your best shot.

I have a "friend" who is in a boring relationship. He can't get his partner to dress up for him, wear heels, etc. She has no interest in travel, never shows any enthusiasm. Can you use your superior intelligence to come up with a solution for him?

 

[shortbun]

How did I miss this thread? I must spend more time here!!!

 

[walkdmc]

I would first trust the genes you've been given and know, if that's a possibility. I only read the OP so don't know if you've mentioned fertility issues as a reason for seeking external "DNA". There is a lot more to a successful person than IQ.

FWIW, DH was asked to be a donor for one of these companies....I'm dead serious. He got a letter, through snail mail, citing all of his accomplishments and asking him to join other smart men in donating his sperm. DH is smart and I think he's fantastic but no one came to the house, or called to interview him before sending this offer. For all anyone knows, Ted Bundy might have gotten one of these letters, KWIM?

There's more to a person than intelligence. You have to trust your instincts which you did when you selected your spouse/partner. Trust the genes you know....believe me, I'm a Biologist by training and at heart.

Plus, can you imagine how pizzled you'll be if your protege turns out like Chumley on Pawn Star? Will you want your money back, LOL?

EDIT: I just read the rest of the threads....I misunderstood the original post and thought you were looking to use "genius DNA", not donate. This was a funny thread, thanks for starting it! BTW, DH got his letter after something he did....I'm forgetting details but it was either after he graduated from his training, or after publishing some big paper.

You know who could get big bucks for their DNA? Those Navy Seals guys, seriously. Can you imagine if they had Ivy League degrees too? OMG, we could create a superior society.....I'm calling Hollywood.

 

[IdesOmarch]

I have a "friend" who is in a boring relationship. He can't get his partner to dress up for him, wear heels, etc. She has no interest in travel, never shows any enthusiasm. Can you use your superior intelligence to come up with a solution for him?

OMGosh that is so good. Funny enough I'm dealing with a situation just like this. I am currently crunching the numbers and I'll get back to you on the solution.

I actually may need to bring in some more geniuses to work on this problem. After all, the Manhattan project had 100s of scientists, and that problem was no where near as complicated as this.

 

[IdesOmarch]

How did I miss this thread? I must spend more time here!!!

Yeah where ya been?

 

[nancytoby]

.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

You know who could get big bucks for their DNA? Those Navy Seals guys, seriously. Can you imagine if they had Ivy League degrees too? OMG, we could create a superior society.....I'm calling Hollywood.

But would any of them have necks?????

More seriously, I think there would be a lot of guys scratching their heads and saying "Honey. . .how is that we have a brown eyed, brunette kid when we're both blondes with blue eyes?" if Team 6 Navy Seals were to donate.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

1

 

[walkdmc]

But would any of them have necks?????

I know this should be obvious but I don't get it? I'm sure it's funny so please explain.

 

[FredinFL]

I may not be no genius, but I knew where this thread was headed from the get go.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

I know this should be obvious but I don't get it? I'm sure it's funny so please explain.

Certain parts of the military, especially those that require a certain, almost superhuman level of physical training, tend to have more than their fair share of guys who are extremely solidly built. Being extremely solidly built, on a guy, tends to mean that your neck doesn't taper - it's straight up and down from your jaw to your shoulder. Hence, the joke is that you have "no neck". This is usually a point of pride, and it is normally something that can be joked about without cruelty as only someone in top-notch, perfect shape can ever hope to be "without a neck". Thus, the Marines are called and call themselves "jarheads".

If I've offended you, my apologies.

 

[s____!]

OK, so now I have to prove I'm a genius?

Can do. I thought of a way, you can test me. But it can't be occupation specific questions, or stuff I could just google, like what is the Atomic Mass of Chromium. I guess the best way is to give me a problem to solve logically, a real world scenario (can be something you're dealing with on a personal basis now) and whatever answer I give you I'll let you be the judge in whether or not it was a genius answer. Fair enough. Take your best shot.

Explain to me the difference between "its" and "it's."

 

[walkdmc]

If I've offended you, my apologies.

I had no idea what your "no neck" statement meant. Thanks for the explanation! I wasn't offended <<<---not in great shape and have the neck to prove it.

 

[snapppyd]

But would any of them have necks?????

More seriously, I think there would be a lot of guys scratching their heads and saying "Honey. . .how is that we have a brown eyed, brunette kid when we're both blondes with blue eyes?" if Team 6 Navy Seals were to donate.

Ok, the no neck thing didn't offend me because I understand muscular necks.

But the brown eyes statement is offensive