SlightlyGoofy
<font color=green>I shall be forced to take you on
- Joined
- May 5, 2001
- Messages
- 7,907
DisyKat, I am so very sorry. I, in no way, meant to cast any aspirsions on your mom. I just tend to ramble sometimes. Life just seems to be far more complicated than need be to me. In my heart I believe I should be invited and would be an addition to the group as I do try my best to be helpful rather than helpful but people rarely see themselves as they are I was looking for some different points of view and I appreciated your thoughts.
Having been a child, a parent and now a grandparent I think I can say that we are just human beings doing our best to get through life. Some of us manage to do better than others and some have more understanding families though. I have a sister who has a habit of having many 'overnight' dates and treating her kids rather badly and not providing very well but they have all turned out very well and treat her like a queen. (shrugging shoulders in wonder) I am just a boring mom who stayed married, has no really bad habits other than a chocolate fetish (LOL), was a 4-H leader, SAHM cookie baking mom who welcomed all my kid's friends to our home and other mundane things. I am sort of like a floor, necessary but not noticed. Maybe if I behaved out of character things might change but I am not a game player.
Queen, I am a grandmotherly type, to all children, so it is hard for me to understand where your mom might be coming from but maybe that is all she can do. You are to be applauded for your understanding and coping with parents who were less than you would have liked. I hope that you dad has changed his abuse patterns and is not a threat to his grandkids but am betting that if it were not so you would not be able to be close to him now. You have a forgiving heart and that is a wonderful thing. Hatred gets you nowhere and causes the hater the most pain IMHO. I read something once that changed my life and my relationship with my parents and others. "It was not that they did not love me, but rather that they did not love me the way I wanted". The power of the written word is awesome. I can never tell my dd certain things because I do not want those things to impact upon her life. If it were just a matter of her knowing what happened to me I would gladly share (doubt she would be interested though, she is as unemotional as I am emotional) however this information could cause her great pain about herself and so I must hold it in.
kejoda, I will be right over. LOL My way of coping with certain things is to include others in my life. I was only able to have two children so I was a 4-H leader and such so that I was able to be involved with many other children. I am currently tutoring the children of many of the young people who grew up in my house. I am sooooo old!! It is an unfortunate fact that there are always children who want and need attention and being the 'overbearing, selfish' person that I am I inflict myself upon the poor dears. (smile) Is a sad fact that while other kids like me mine do not. I have spent many futile hours trying to figure out where I went wrong and have even asked for a lithany of sins to no avail. Maybe things will change one day until then I will do the best I can and keep on loving their rotten little selves.
Thank you all for your input. My daughter cannot help but know how much I love Disney and her sons so maybe she will surprise me. I can count on the sil as he would gladly hand the dears over to me for the entire stay so he could ride the coasters. The boys will be on my side as well so that makes it three to one, right?
Hope you will all pardon my ramblings but this is about the only place that I can speak my mind, such as it is.
SG/Linda
Having been a child, a parent and now a grandparent I think I can say that we are just human beings doing our best to get through life. Some of us manage to do better than others and some have more understanding families though. I have a sister who has a habit of having many 'overnight' dates and treating her kids rather badly and not providing very well but they have all turned out very well and treat her like a queen. (shrugging shoulders in wonder) I am just a boring mom who stayed married, has no really bad habits other than a chocolate fetish (LOL), was a 4-H leader, SAHM cookie baking mom who welcomed all my kid's friends to our home and other mundane things. I am sort of like a floor, necessary but not noticed. Maybe if I behaved out of character things might change but I am not a game player.
Queen, I am a grandmotherly type, to all children, so it is hard for me to understand where your mom might be coming from but maybe that is all she can do. You are to be applauded for your understanding and coping with parents who were less than you would have liked. I hope that you dad has changed his abuse patterns and is not a threat to his grandkids but am betting that if it were not so you would not be able to be close to him now. You have a forgiving heart and that is a wonderful thing. Hatred gets you nowhere and causes the hater the most pain IMHO. I read something once that changed my life and my relationship with my parents and others. "It was not that they did not love me, but rather that they did not love me the way I wanted". The power of the written word is awesome. I can never tell my dd certain things because I do not want those things to impact upon her life. If it were just a matter of her knowing what happened to me I would gladly share (doubt she would be interested though, she is as unemotional as I am emotional) however this information could cause her great pain about herself and so I must hold it in.
kejoda, I will be right over. LOL My way of coping with certain things is to include others in my life. I was only able to have two children so I was a 4-H leader and such so that I was able to be involved with many other children. I am currently tutoring the children of many of the young people who grew up in my house. I am sooooo old!! It is an unfortunate fact that there are always children who want and need attention and being the 'overbearing, selfish' person that I am I inflict myself upon the poor dears. (smile) Is a sad fact that while other kids like me mine do not. I have spent many futile hours trying to figure out where I went wrong and have even asked for a lithany of sins to no avail. Maybe things will change one day until then I will do the best I can and keep on loving their rotten little selves.
Thank you all for your input. My daughter cannot help but know how much I love Disney and her sons so maybe she will surprise me. I can count on the sil as he would gladly hand the dears over to me for the entire stay so he could ride the coasters. The boys will be on my side as well so that makes it three to one, right?
Hope you will all pardon my ramblings but this is about the only place that I can speak my mind, such as it is.
SG/Linda
