Secret Santa: Why can't everyone play by the rules?!?!?

[Eeyores Butterfly]

I meant to add: I buy used DVDs/CDs/books from Hastings all the time. They are in the same condition as the new ones and are cheaper. If she bought them used, they should be just the same condition as new.

 

[MineMail]

The only thing worse than Secret Santa exchanges at work are the versions where you can "steal" someone else's gift. I started out with a popcorn pot (good) ended up with an ice scraper and some other crap from the gift shop downstairs one year (bad). The gifter obviously forgot to bring a gift and just ran down to the lobby to buy cheap junk and stuff it in a bag. I think he included the bag as part of his gift value, too, lol. I just decline those invitations now without any fanfare.

I've never had a problem with them in the classroom until this year - my DD used her own money to buy headphones and candy requested by her giftee. That was the same person who was supposed to give DD a secret santa gift. The gifts were due in the classroom for a week before the exchange date. Either the teacher lost interest or didn't keep track because there was nothing for my daughter on exchange day. The kid didn't even apologize - he just said "tough luck, huh?"

I've already told the kids that they're not participating next year and sent the teacher an email suggesting she forget about it for next year because it's just an opportunity for the students to fail or be intentionally mean.

 

[daisyduck123]

I've never had a problem with them in the classroom until this year - my DD used her own money to buy headphones and candy requested by her giftee. That was the same person who was supposed to give DD a secret santa gift. The gifts were due in the classroom for a week before the exchange date. Either the teacher lost interest or didn't keep track because there was nothing for my daughter on exchange day. The kid didn't even apologize - he just said "tough luck, huh?"

That is terrible and unacceptable! I am so sorry for your DD.What grade is this?

I would've called the kids mother & asked for the gifts back that you had purchased...stating that you must have missed the notice that said the child had decided not to participate.

 

[QueenRocks]

I meant to add: I buy used DVDs/CDs/books from Hastings all the time. They are in the same condition as the new ones and are cheaper. If she bought them used, they should be just the same condition as new.

ITA My kids buy used CDs/DVDs/Games all the time from FYE or Gamestop. My son just bought my oldest son a used game for his birthday on Monday. The used ones are perfect, no scratches or anything. It's a great way to save money. By buying used, your Secret Santa was able to give you 2 CDs by your favorite artist.

 

[kimmar067]

ITA but I also feel its a bit rude to put a specific thing you want on your list and expect your secret santa to get you that.

..yeah, but c'mon - 'USED'????? Ewwww....it's one thing to give your own child a used gift (I've purchased used games at GameStop for my sons if that is the game they want) but to give a co-worker a used gift....sorry, that doesn't fly with me....would you give someone a used item as a bridal shower or baby shower gift?? I don't think so....

 

[kimmar067]

I agree. I worked somewhere once where they did Secret Santa. I did not want to participate. I did not like the job, and had nothing in common with the person I got. I also was not making that much money and really couldn't spare any. I had no choice. It was only about 5 or 6 of us working there. You could not opt out. It was not possible. My gift was not that great but I did the best I could at the time. I found the whole thing stressful and I still cringe when I think about it to this day.

 

[luvmy3]

..yeah, but c'mon - 'USED'????? Ewwww....it's one thing to give your own child a used gift (I've purchased used games at GameStop for my sons if that is the game they want) but to give a co-worker a used gift....sorry, that doesn't fly with me....would you give someone a used item as a bridal shower or baby shower gift?? I don't think so....

Well first of all why the EEWWWWW, its not like its used underwear, its a CD. To answer your question, no I wouldn't give a used gift unless it was something vintage that the recipient was into. I did say that I think the woman should have opted out, but like a few of us said maybe some kind of financial hardship came up and getting the OP a couple used CD's by an artist that she liked was all that this woman could afford. I don't know the whole story so I have no idea whether or not there was any real thought behind the gift, but I think that the OP put way too high expectations on her secret santa gift and her OP sounds like a whine about not getting what she wanted. (Sorry OP, its just how it came across to me).

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Thanks.
It really was awful. To this day I refuse to do any type of secret anything exchanges. If I want to buy you a gift I will. I just hated being embarrased into it and then embarrassed by what I could barely afford at the time.

 

[snapppyd]

OP, I agree with you. I stopped participating when I worked because of stuff like this. On the other end of the spectrum, some people went way overboard with the spending, making the rest of us look cheap.

I think giving used CD's is tacky.

 

[Eeyores Butterfly]

Maybe that was all the store had in the OP's favorite artist. Perhaps the person did not have enough time to purchase a new one online. I don't get the big deal over it being used. The store where I purchase stuff like that make sure they are in perfect condition (no scratches or anything) before they will sell them. I have found at least there it is not uncommon to not be able to find a new CD or DVD but to have several used available. It could easily have been that the store did not have the boxed set the OP asked for and this was the best they could do.

I just looked up that boxed set online and it was going for $40, so chances are even if she could find it, it was out of the suggested price range.

 

[luvmy3]

Maybe that was all the store had in the OP's favorite artist. Perhaps the person did not have enough time to purchase a new one online. I don't get the big deal over it being used. The store where I purchase stuff like that make sure they are in perfect condition (no scratches or anything) before they will sell them. I have found at least there it is not uncommon to not be able to find a new CD or DVD but to have several used available. It could easily have been that the store did not have the boxed set the OP asked for and this was the best they could do.

I just looked up that boxed set online and it was going for $40, so chances are even if she could find it, it was out of the suggested price range.

Thats a pretty pricey expectation especially for a secret santa gift. We do a name pick for the nieces and nephews in the family and our maximun isn't even that much. Maybe this woman felt it was too much money to spend (or she couldnt) and tried to get the most bang for her buck by purchasing 2 used CD's.

 

[kaytieeldr]

The suggested amount for the final gift is $25-$30.

I noticed the OP said that the final amount was suggested. I certainly wouldn't take that to mean a minimum.

Agreed, to a point. BUT based on this theory, it would technically be legitimate for everyone to spend up to thirty dollars on the gift but some people to spend as little as a dollar or two. Doesn't really seem reasonable.

The only thing worse than Secret Santa exchanges at work are the versions where you can "steal" someone else's gift. I started out with a popcorn pot (good) ended up with an ice scraper and some other crap from the gift shop downstairs one year (bad). The gifter obviously forgot to bring a gift and just ran down to the lobby to buy cheap junk and stuff it in a bag.

We used to to Secret Santa. One year, the person (never identified) with my name ran downstairs to CVS at the last minute and bought me two packs of (the wrong) cigarettes.

I actually like the Yankee Swap-style gift exchange. The BEST part about it is, everywhere I've worked, anyway, it's entirely OPTIONAL.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Aaargh! I typed out a big response and it got deleted! Anyway, I know how you feel. It happened to me last year. This year I got a terrific secret pal, so maybe you will next year.

 

[MinnieMe87]

Maybe that was all the store had in the OP's favorite artist. Perhaps the person did not have enough time to purchase a new one online. I don't get the big deal over it being used.

The used cd would be a BIG deal to me. I do not like used cds/dvds. I don't know why, it just bugs me and I'd rather have new. I know that some used cds are just like new, but I like having my own. Some things just bug people more than others.

I do think the OP's secret santa did not put a great deal of effort into the gift, and that would have irked me. I would have been grateful to get anything at all (which it sounds like the OP is), but I still would have been irked. I guess it would have irked me the most because I put a lot of thought into each gift I buy and make sure to get something I know the person likes, or I know they can use and I expect the same in return. It sounds like this person just looked at the overall list and found something somewhat close and just threw it together.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I just looked up that boxed set online and it was going for $40, so chances are even if she could find it, it was out of the suggested price range.

I don't know what your search pulled up, but I just looked it up, and everything shows List Price $24.99 with most offering this for less than $20.00.

While I can see a little disappointment on the part of the OP, looking at the big picture, and hearing some of these other stories..... I'd just try to let it go.

These exchanges really are gamble...
No knowing how one will fare out.