Secret Santa: Why can't everyone play by the rules?!?!?

[ChrizJen]

I just have to get this off my chest.
Every year here at work we play the Secret Santa Game. We give little gifts throughout, and then a big gift at the end. The suggested amount for the final gift is $25-$30. Everyone makes a list of little things that they like and then an idea or two for what they want for the big gift.
Now normally I'm not one to complain, but this just left me scratching my head. On my list, I put hair stuff (like barrettes, scarves, headbands, etc.) for the small gifts. I ended up getting all candy gifts for the small gifts, like M&M's and candy bars.

For the big gift, I was fairly specific. I asked for either Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "Live Anthology" Box Set or a gift card to Target.

So last week on Christmas Eve, we all exchanged big gifts with our Secret Santas. It was fun. My Secret Santa was out sick that day. No biggie. So Monday rolls around, and she forget to bring my gift. Again, no biggie. It's the holidays. People get busy and forget things. So then this morning I get to my office, and on my desk is my gift bag. I open it to find the following items:

a pack of Peanut M&M's
a hair clip
and 2 USED Tom Petty CD's that I've never even heard of!

These items probably don't even add up to $10 total!
I know they say it's the thought that counts, but did she really put any thought or effort into it? And couldn't she have at least TRIED to get what was on my list??? She also could have tried to at least come close to spending the recommended amount. Perhaps she was strapped for cash. But then she shouldn't have participated. Maybe she wasn't able to find the Tom Petty box set that I asked for. But she could have gotten the gift card. That way I could have gotten it myself!

I had a lot of fun with the giving part of the whole thing, which in the end is the most important part I suppose. But I just don't understand why people choose to participate in these things if they're just going to end up screwing someone over in the end.
Oh well. Lesson learned. Maybe next year I just won't participate.

OK vent over. Flame away.

 

[happygirl]

She made a effort that is the part that counts.

 

[NY Disney fan]

She made a effort that is the part that counts.

If you can't follow the rules don't play.

 

[merryweather20]

She made a effort that is the part that counts.

Thats the point she didn't make an effort. I think she should have opted out..

 

[happygirl]

Thats the point she didn't make an effort. I think she should have opted out..

To each there own. She made the effort to get the stuff

 

[tchrrx]

My DH has decided that he won't play with my family next Christmas. He really tries to put thought into his gifts, but it is honestly stuff that people don't want. (This year was a Snuggie, Aqua Globes, and Mighty Mend-It. It was a cute idea, but...) The most popular things were $5 gifts with a $20 bill attached. I told him we should just wrap cash & be done with it, but he thinks that takes the point away of actually buying something.

 

[MelanieC]

If it's not a mandatory participation she should have opted out. Pointless to get useless not needed items. This is why I don't like to do these kinds of things.

 

[poohbear2]

I know how you feel. When I do something like this I go all out. Don't fret. Maybe she had extra expenses she didn't see coming and tried her best. I would still participate next year. There are years that my secret santa seems like he/she doesn't even try but then there are other years that I can't thank him/her enough because of the things I received.

 

[luvmy3]

If you can't follow the rules don't play.

ITA but I also feel its a bit rude to put a specific thing you want on your list and expect your secret santa to get you that.

 

[ChrizJen]

To each there own. She made the effort to get the stuff

Well, technically yes. We all made the "effort" to go buy the stuff we gave. But I guess my point is that some of us just put more thought and effort into making sure we were following the guidelines and getting the stuff that people actually asked for.

 

[belle&sebastiansmom]

I just have to get this off my chest.
Every year here at work we play the Secret Santa Game. We give little gifts throughout, and then a big gift at the end. The suggested amount for the final gift is $25-$30. Everyone makes a list of little things that they like and then an idea or two for what they want for the big gift.
Now normally I'm not one to complain, but this just left me scratching my head. On my list, I put hair stuff (like barrettes, scarves, headbands, etc.) for the small gifts. I ended up getting all candy gifts for the small gifts, like M&M's and candy bars.

For the big gift, I was fairly specific. I asked for either Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers "Live Anthology" Box Set or a gift card to Target.

So last week on Christmas Eve, we all exchanged big gifts with our Secret Santas. It was fun. My Secret Santa was out sick that day. No biggie. So Monday rolls around, and she forget to bring my gift. Again, no biggie. It's the holidays. People get busy and forget things. So then this morning I get to my office, and on my desk is my gift bag. I open it to find the following items:

a pack of Peanut M&M's
a hair clip
and 2 USED Tom Petty CD's that I've never even heard of!

These items probably don't even add up to $10 total!
I know they say it's the thought that counts, but did she really put any thought or effort into it? And couldn't she have at least TRIED to get what was on my list??? She also could have tried to at least come close to spending the recommended amount. Perhaps she was strapped for cash. But then she shouldn't have participated. Maybe she wasn't able to find the Tom Petty box set that I asked for. But she could have gotten the gift card. That way I could have gotten it myself!

I had a lot of fun with the giving part of the whole thing, which in the end is the most important part I suppose. But I just don't understand why people choose to participate in these things if they're just going to end up screwing someone over in the end.
Oh well. Lesson learned. Maybe next year I just won't participate.

OK vent over. Flame away.

No flames here. I can sort of feel your pain. Seems like your office gets pretty involved with asking you to make wish lists. Not sure if I'd like that. I'd probably want to keep it more generic. And $30 for the final gift as well as little gifts throughout the season seems like a lot. But that's just me.

My dd had a gift exchange in her Kindergarten class. Just bring a gift that cost around $5 and then they were randomly given out. The kids got lots of cute, new in package items. My dd got a packages of used books (the kiddie kind, thin paperback) which had crayon writing in them, crinkled, torn pages, etc. Yes, it perturbed me that a parent would re-gift items in obviously bad condition. The teacher even sent home a note saying if you couldn't participate, let her know so that she could make arrangements. So while the other girls were opening their new Littlest Pet Shop friends or My Little Pony's, my kid was stuck with the nasty books that I wouldn't even have paid for at a thrift store!

Oh Well, I guess the end result is to remember that in both of our situations we made someone else happy, and that is what is most important!

 

[bgohre]

She made a effort that is the part that counts.

Granted she bought something, but she really made no effort. Throwing a bunch of stuff in a bag doesn't make it a thoughtful gift, just a gift.

I don't participate in secret santa stuff because of stuff like this. Most people are way to busy to think of a thoughtful gift for a coworker. You just end up with junk from the clearance aisle at Walmart.

 

[merryweather20]

To each there own. She made the effort to get the stuff

Where? The part where she gave the OP used CD's?

It had simple guidelines. Since she wasn't capable of following them (ie. the $$ spent, and the suggested gifts) she should have opted out. Opting out would have required no effort

 

[happygirl]

Where? The part where she gave the OP used CD's?

It had simple guidelines. Since she wasn't capable of following them (ie. the $$ spent, and the suggested gifts) she should have opted out. Opting out would have required no effort

It suggested gift, not a gift you have to give. I don't know this woman made she had money issues come up at the last minute. She tried to give her something.

 

[Stitch2007]

this is exactly why I don't participate anymore. A couple of years ago we a secret Santa at my previous job. We were exchanging them at our office party at a restrurant outside of work. I gave my present and I didn't get one because my secret Santa didn't come to the party. Ok, things come up. A couple of days later the woman quit her job and I ended up with nothing. I was disappointed because I spent a lot of time picking out the gift I got for my person.

 

[ChrizJen]

this is exactly why I don't participate anymore. A couple of years ago we a secret Santa at my previous job. We were exchanging them at our office party at a restrurant outside of work. I gave my present and I didn't get one because my secret Santa didn't come to the party. Ok, things come up. A couple of days later the woman quit her job and I ended up with nothing. I was disappointed because I spent a lot of time picking out the gift I got for my person.

I guess that's sort of the sentiment I'm trying to convey. Disappointment, because I actually put some time and thought into the giving part of it.
Unlike you, I did get a gift in the end, and I suppose I should feel thankful. But I feel like maybe I was just an afterthought in the mind of the person who picked me. Like she forgot and then just ran out at the last minute and threw some stuff together because she had to....

 

[Stacerita]

This is one reason why I opt out of the work place secret Santa.

 

[disneystacy]

I agree with the op, I would be upset by this. The company set the rules. This imo this is not a better to give than receive event. It is suppose to be fun. If people aren't able or can't afford to follow the rules, than you don't participate, its really simple. I'm sure this woman put down some suggested stuff for her Secret Santa to get, just like the op did and she probably received something she wanted, I think it is tasteless or almost scam like to pass junk off as worth $30.00.
I would not participate in the future. I'll buy my own junk, thank you very much LOL!

 

[daisyduck123]

I would probably say something to her because I am bold enough to do that.

I am a teacher and we do something similar to this ALL YEAR LONG at work...we call ourselves Secret Pals. There are about 30 teachers/staff that participate each year, our of a total staff of about 60 at my school.

I am the one in charge & I keep track and know who gets who. We are supposed to do little gifts each month, with a BIGGER gift at the end of the school year in June.

One year, we had a part-time staff member who signed up & he just did not get nice things for his person...and at the end of the year NOTHING!!

I made sure that he was not allowed to participate the following year.

 

[CathrynRose]

She made a effort that is the part that counts.

Bull.

If you can't follow the rules don't play.

Yes.

Thats the point she didn't make an effort. I think she should have opted out..

Exactly.

To each there own. She made the effort to get the stuff

I think not following the Santa rules and (seemingly) being lazy about the whole thing, is not making any effort, at all.