DH and I are booked for DC in September for his b-day (have the b-day package), but I am having second thoughts. Ok, I am getting ready to say something very preposterous since everyone raves about DC, so get ready and please don't stone me to death.
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Fair warning to all: This is going to be a lengthy post.
Preposterous? Stoning material? Hardly (having read more of your original post). My wife and I, plus two other friends, went to DC in November of 2003. All four of us came away far less than impressed overall, and our consensus was "Go for the Aviary and river-swimming. Forget DC's excuse for a dolphin 'encounter.'"
Trust me, you're not the only one to have second thoughts, though ours were for very different reasons. You do, however, raise some interesting points.
I have been doing some research on "dolphin swim experiences" and without going into ugly details, it is starting to sound very commercialized. It seems that instead of learning a healthy respect and understanding that we need to keep our distance from wildlife, dolphins are almost presented as pets.
Whoa. Stop right there. I can see you've got an interesting mix of misconceptions and accurate observations going. I'm also curious where you got the "pets" perception from. None of the programs I've ever visited, not even Sea World, gave me that impression.
Before I bore into this, know that I'm in a unique position to comment. I've maintained an active interest in marine mammals, dolphins included, for about 30 or so years. I've visited most of the oceanariums in the US and Canada, three in Mexico, and one in the Bahamas. All that gives me a good perspective from the public side.
On the 'professional' side, I've also worked as a volunteer trainer's assistant at two facilities (Oklahoma City Zoo and Six Flags Magic Mountain -- yes, they had a dolphin show many years ago).
Now, with all that said: There can be no doubt that swim-with-the-dolphins operations are very much commercialized. Honestly, there's no way to avoid that. I will say that, with very few exceptions, every interactive program I've observed (and participated in) to date does a fine job of taking care of their charges (both human and cetacean). Some give much better 'experiences' than others. However, being leery of a swim-with program because it's "commercial" is like blaming Disney or Universal for being that way.
I do take strong exception to your overly broad-sounding statement that we need to "keep our distance" from wildlife. You make it sound almost as though we need to live in fear of the critters we share the planet with, and never allow ourselves contact with them.
Well, guess what? Contact between us and 'wildlife' is becoming less avoidable almost every day, thanks to our species' seemingly endless quest to pave over natural habitat and stick buildings on it. However you may feel about such things (and that's a whole 'nother can of worms that I won't go into here), the truth of the matter is that it's rapidly getting to a point where we can no more "keep our distance" than we can avoid breathing.
Given the above, it seems to me that the least we can do is learn how to conduct ourselves around animals. Interactive programs, properly designed and run, can give a lot of people a lot of help with that, no matter what species they're focusing on.
As for wild captures of dolphins for the programs: That might still be happening with facilities outside the United States, but I don't know of any permits that have been issued by or within the US for wild capture of any dolphins for at least the last 15 years. The reason for that has been the runaway success of captive breeding where dolphins are concerned. Heck, it's tough to KEEP them from trying to make more dolphins! ;-)
The point I'm making is that the impact on wild dolphin populations is going to be pretty miniscule at best. Lord knows it's a lot smaller than the toll exacted by pollution (chemical and noise), red-tide events, and idiotic fisherfolk who think it's fun to take potshots (yes, with a rifle) at any competition for "their" fish, dolphins included.
You also raise a 'classic' argument of the animal rights groups, about the animals being taken out of the wild and "forced" to do "tricks." There's more than a few misconceptions operating there. First and foremost is that dolphins are easily smart enough to get bored if they're not given SOME kind of mental and/or physical challenge to work on. Having dolphins in a captive environment and NOT doing any sort of training would actually be far worse.
In any case, most behaviors you see in a dolphin show or at a swim-with program are either natural behaviors placed on cue, or extensions of natural behaviors (also placed on cue).
Some examples: A tailwalk? Extension of a natural behavior called 'spyhopping,' where an animal will stick their head vertically out of the water to look around. Breaching? They do that in the wild. Jumps? Wild again. Pushing objects around? Yep. Seen all over the wild.
The very idea that a human could "force" a dolphin or whale to do anything they didn't want to is laughable at best. You're talking about an animal that, at their smallest, outweighs a typical human by over 200 pounds, and most of that is pure, powerful muscle. It'd be like you walking up to a Sumo wrestler, and demanding that they be your slave or something similar. Not gonna happen.
Now, with all the above said, let me get down to Discovery Cove and Sea World, specifically. I had multiple problems with their idea of a dolphin "swim," including:
--Far too little time in the water for the money.
--No free-swim time at all, where you and the dolphin(s) involved are essentially left to interact with each other as each sees fit within reason (yes, there are programs that do this, and they do it very well!)
--Pre-swim "briefing" and post-swim "debriefing" were far more about trumpeting how great the Almighty Sea World is, and trying to sell you overpriced souvenirs, than they were about truly educating folks. They also demonize wild encounters far more than is deserved.
Regrettably, the best swim-with experiences cannot easily be found within US borders. For that, you need to visit southeastern Mexico, more specifically Xcaret and Xel Ha on the Yucatan Peninsula. I can provide further details if you're curious.
The bottom line: Discovery Cove is a nice enough stop. If you like birds and deer, you'll go gaga over the aviary (rightly so, IMO!)
HOWEVER -- If you're serious about wanting to get an HONEST perspective of dolphins, and not just looking for a contrived photo-op, then you need to look elsewhere. If Mexico is too far, the Dolphin Research Center or Theater of the Sea, both in the Florida Keys, will give you a much better value for your $$.
In closing: I find it ironic that, when the swim-with programs were still experimental and just getting started, way back in the mid-80's, Sea World was among the first to condemn the entire idea.
A decade or so later, they embraced it. My guess is that they didn't want anyone else trying it until they could figure a way to have it make money for them.
Happy travels.
I love the free swim time at Xcaret. We have also swam at the Dolphin Research Center and it is geat as well-all free swim time.
! I do not remember her name but she was a lot calmer and DH finally got his buoy. We were laughing so hard at Rascal and CJ! At least, we got to meet 3 (!) dolphins and our interaction in the water was a lot longer then 30 minutes 
