Second guessing myself

[kasar]

Just curious to get some opinions here, since I've been having such feelings of guilt and doubt.

During our recent visit to WDW I found out that my grandmother had passed away unexpectedly. Since we had just gotten to WDW and there were not going to be any services for my grandmother, I decided to not tell my two DDs (9 and 10) right away. It was so difficult to hide my emotions (there were many tears during the dark shows and parades!) but I knew that there wasn't anything we could do about it anyway except try to make the best of our trip. Actually, after that first day, I think the "magic" of WDW got into me. We actually enjoyed ourselves and it made me appreciate being there with my family even more.

Now that we're home (I told my daughters on the last night before we left), I'm second-guessing everything I did from not telling the kids to staying in Florida. It felt so weird to be in such a happy place with such a heavy heart. I'm not even sure why I'm sharing this, just getting it off my chest, I guess. Has anyone ever gone to WDW with something terrible on their minds and managed to forget it while there? Did you feel so guilty, too?

 

[binny]

I dont think you should second guess anything.

I also dont thinkyou should feel any guilt.
Would your Grandma have wanted to ruin your trip? How would she have felt if came home.. and what would you have done have when you got there?


Honestly, I dont think there is anything that you could have done any differently. Dont feel bad about enjoying yourself!! Im sure your Grandma was up in Heaven smiling down on all of you watching yo watch your children in the happiest place on earth!

(((hugs)))

we all have these doubts about things weve done... but truly.. I think you did the right thing!

 

[mtdevine615]

Yes we have gone to WDW with heavy hearts. Three years ago we went even though we new my DW father had a brain tumor and wouldn't be with us much longer. He passed away about a month after we got back.
I think your Grandmother would have wanted you to stay and be happy. It would not have helped your Grandmother by cutting your trip short. If your Grandmother was like all Grandmothers I have known she would have wanted you and your children to be happy. I'm so sorry for your loss, but don't second guess yourself she is in a far better place. Yes even better than WDW.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

I had something very similar happen in 2000. My father passed away with 3 days left in our trip. I know many people were horrified that I didn't return home right away. Actually not family members, just other people who were clueless as to our family dynamics. I did feel some guilt, but I don't think I made a bad decision. My father and I had at best a troubled relationship and my emotions were very conflicted. The services were actually held the next week and I did attend.

I was happy to get home and be able to get my Mom through the difficult week of the burial services etc, but I'm also happy that I was able to finish my vacation with my kids.

 

[luvmydogs]

This is not a WDW story, but is along the same lines...My father had a stroke when I was 18 and in college. Three days later I was scheduled to fly to Italy to study for a semester. Luckily, my father was lucid enough to communicate that he wanted me to go, as did my mother. Dad was almost offended that I was reconsidering. After Dr. said that my father's health was not in any more serious danger, encouragement from my mom that she had a good familial support system, and that it would be mostly rehab for my dad from then on, I went to Italy. I had such feelings of guilt, and wracked up a huge long distance bill keeping in touch, but my father always said he wouldn't have kept me from going for the life of him. I think you did what was best for you and your family, and certainly your grandmother wouldn't have wanted you to feel such guilt! Don't second guess yourself...

 

[DVC Kathy]

Back in '93, DH had a conference at the Orlando Marriott World Center. We came down a few days early and stayed at Port Orleans French Quarter. Saturday afternoon we switched over to the Marriott for the conference. Just after we got to the room we got the word that my uncle had died unexpectedly. This was my godfather, my mother's only sibling, and the uncle I was closest with.

DH couldn't go back early, but I had to decide what I wanted to do. My mother told me to stay, and have a good time. It's what my uncle would have wanted, and it's what she wanted for me.

I didn't visit any of the parks after that, but did spend most evenings at the Adventurer's Club at PI. The laughter and tears blended together sometimes, but that's life. It helped get me through that week.

You can honor the dead in many ways, and celebrating life is one of them.

Kathy

 

[mickeyboat]

DVC Kathy said it best.

When my grandmother died, we had a "wake" of sorts. Her mother and sister were both nuns so about 15 nuns came to the "celebration" at my aunt's house. We had a great time telling stories about my grandmother and singing. I wish she could have been there to enjoy it too but I know she was enjoying it from heaven.

kazar - your grandmother would have wanted you to finish your trip and not burden your children with the bad news. Don't let anyone tell you different.

I am sorry for your loss.

Denae

 

[Micca]

Let's face it, when someone passes away there is only so much you can do. Being in a place like WDW when that happens would give anyone a weird feeling, but the realities of travel expenses and plans are such that in many cases it's just not feasible to drop everything and rush back home(complicated even further when children are involved). It's not like you can save them or bring them back in doing so. I think in a situation like that, whatever a person decides to do is a very personal decision and must be the right one for them.