Scrooge.. A different sort of Christmas thread..

[BroganMc]

OP, your question is one I expect you'll get a common answer for. Debbie Downers usually drive everyone nuts, no matter the time of year.

My dad does get into his Mr. Grumpyface moods, usually when it is late in the day and he's tired and hurting. Winters are tough for an old guy with arthritis. Used to drive me particularly crazy when he'd come home spitting nails because he was in a bad mood. But now I just make light of it and send him off to bed. Truth be told, I get to be Ms. Grumpyface when I'm tired and aching too.

But you never ever let that ruin someone else's good spirits. That's a simple matter of having good grace. Sure it's fine to let your hair down and be crotchety with someone you know very well and trust to understand the reasons for your mood, but anyone else and you're begging to get into a fight.

Makes me say an extra prayer of thanksgiving for the pets we humans keep. How many times do they bear the brunt of our grumpy moods (and get yelled at) only to come right back and cuddle up with us? Nothing softens my dad more than our cat cuddling up in his lap when he just got done yelling at her for climbing the Christmas Tree.

 

[BroganMc]

Thanksgiving and Easter are my favorite holidays. Our family gets together, shares a meal and has a good time. I use to LOVE Christmas, but the past two years it has felt like a stressful, financial burden. I don't ruin it for anyone else though. We have a tree up, lights on the house and santa has bought and wrapped all the presents (by herself). I don't make comments either, but I am not that excited about the actual day. I have enjoyed watching xmas movies with the kids, DS and I made gingerbread houses yesterday too. I just wish, we could do Christmas, differently. It has just seemed like a chore and not a joy.

I spend the most on Christmas out of every holiday in the year. Partly it is tradition and partly it is because that is the one day I can count on actually seeing all my family. My nieces and nephews are getting to the age where they have more activities and "friends-only" parties so I don't get to see them on their birthdays. I'm not wild about giving birthday gifts in absentia. Never got them as a kid nor do I now so I just am not primed for it.

I think I enjoy the preparation the most. All the decorating and expectation. Especially if I have someone to share it with. But as soon as the presents are unwrapped and the meal eaten I feel a huge let down.

I think part of it for that day is that I'm the youngest child who organizes a lot of the day but still feels like her older siblings are telling what to do. My brother has a habit of steamrolling over me and I have a SIL I am at odds with. So there's a bit of stress from that, but I try not to let it get to me. Sometimes I just wish I was thanked more for the things I do. Then I realize the people I count on the most (and who count on me) do thank me, quite a lot. I'm just looking for something from those others who I will never change. I have another brother who is a bit more resigned. He tells me if I expect nothing than I can't be disappointed. Wish I had that much self control. But I'm a Pollyanna. I wish for all, hope for the best and don't even want to think about the worst.

 

[FireDancer]

I don't think anything described is a right but if someone brings you down just don't invite them around. I would have no problem telling my closest friend or family member that they can skip the event if they are going to be Negative Nancy the whole time. If you are stuck living with them I don't know what to tell you. I'd be removing myself from the negativity personally. A one-off situation because of illness I get. Year after year of doing your best Eeyore impersonation is just too much.

If you want to live a joyless and depressing life go right ahead, I'll be removing myself from that storm cloud that constantly follows you around. All general you of course.

 

[indimom]

My parents weren't really feeling it this year. My mom told me a couple of times that she didn't feel like even putting up her tree. But, she felt like she had to because she has always hosted the family party and, you know, you just gotta have a tree to put the kids' gifts under. I could tell that the whole things was bugging her, that she felt pressured to perform in a way that she wasn't feeling

I took over. Told her I'd always wanted to host a party and could I? Please!!! She went for it and we hosted our family get-together here. It went great and we all had a really good time. I had fun planning it and everyone seemed to be having a great time. My parents were able to go home when they were tired and the younger generation didn't have to rush off because we were "putting them out" by staying late.

My parents didn't put up their tree, but they had the light up ceramic tree on an end table. They lit candles and listened to Christmas music by their favorite singers. Grandma baked and grandpa helped my daughter in his shop creating a gift for her dad. They enjoyed Christmas in a quiet way this year and I'm glad we didn't "force" them to do more than they felt up to.

I think it doesn't hurt for the people who are into the Christmas spirit to have some compassion for people who are clinically depressed by the very idea of it. It doesn't surprise me that people who are in a bad place in their own head would have their mood worsened by the extreme upbeat, in your face, type of Christmas that some of us take part in.

In no way is my husband a scrooge (although we tease him and tell him he is), but he is NOT a fan of constant Christmas music, how we hemorage money in Nov/Dec, or the fact that the tree blocks his view of the television from his favorite spot on the couch... All the hype and hooplah just comes across as fake to him. He prefers genuine, in the moment gestures of love over preplanned and designed events. I've learned over the years not to force it down his throat. If I don't drown him in Christmas spirit 24/7, before long he is asking if I want the music on or do I want to watch Rudolph when it comes on TV during football. (And despite the fact that I've been shopping for months, on about Dec. 23 or 24, he'll sneak out for some final gift buying. He's a guy like that.)

Sometimes I do think we Christmas-lovers go a little far. We expect everyone around us to share in our joy and to have on their happy-face from the middle of Nov. to Jan. and it isn't something that everyone is capable of doing. And if you live with someone like this, you must be with them for a reason, you need to work it out. Just my opinion.

 

[avgeek81]

My cousin is a huge scrooge. She lost her mom 2 years ago and went into early labor and lost twin girls the year before that. She says thats why she hates christmas but she didnt like it even before these things happened. She doesnt put up any decorations or send cards. She complains about going to see family on christmas eve.

She lives with her husband and father and neither of them are into christmas either. My uncle does like the silly decorations like the signing christmas fish tho.

Like others said she is mostly miserable all year. She hasnt worked since the babies died. At first it was so she could take care of her mom but now she doesnt do anything just stays home and plays farmville or goes out and spends money. She also thinks my mom and i are too old to go to disney

I lost my dad and was very close to my aunt but i cant pretend to know what it is like to lose a child. My mom had a hard childhood, lost her husband, both parents, her twin sister and a baby when she was 8 mo pregnant. She never compalins. She is not super into christmas but she puts up a tree(which i was suprized she did this year since im not around) goes to parties enjoys atleast some of the season.

 

[Becky2005]

Thankfully, I don't know anyone that takes it to that extreme. I think I would try to avoid them at all costs. I do know some cynical people but even they aren't THAT bad.

I know this year has not been very good for us but I basically am faking it for the kids. My DH was unemployed since October, the bills aren't all being paid, yadda, yadda, yadda (I'm sure it's the same sob story others can do in this economy -- He DID just start a job yesterday though so that has improved but it's not all a bed of roses yet). So, I really have not been in a very good mood for quite a while now. However, I know in my case, it's the situation. We still put the tree up (although later than usual), still have the kids gifts (although I still need to run out and buy 1 more! Santa ALWAYS brings some sort of book for each of the kids & one of my children still does NOT have Santa book! I can't break that tradition! I will have to find something!).

I don't think this is what you are talking about though. My mom can somewhat be a scrooge but it's more practical side of her not her being a scrooge. She doesn't do Christmas cards because she thinks it's silly for her to send me a card & then me turn around and send her a card. She has NEVER done Christmas cards my entire life though. She doesn't put too much of a tree up unless it's her turn to host the extended family Christmas but really it's just my mom & dad -- so no real need to do so (my brother & I take turns hosting Christmas at our houses -- easier than trying to cram into my parents small house). She has a table top tree that is made of presents that she always puts out. We just had Christmas with them yesterday and they bought both my brother & myself GPS so definitely NOT scroogy in that sense.