Scout parents-do you attend meeting w/your child?

[ORMom2Four]

We have a son who just joined scouts and I am wondering if this is typical. Parents are required to attend all den and pack meetings with their son. The boys have their parent(s) sitting beside them, ready to help at a moments notice if their boy needs help with whatever the project is for the week.

My son is in a Bear den, but this happens in all dens regardless of age.

Is this the way your scouts does meetings?

The only experience I have with scouts was girls scouts back in the 80's. Meetings were never done with parents. We even went camping without our parents, just with the troop leader and her assistant.

How does your pack/den do meetings?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We have a son who just joined scouts and I am wondering if this is typical. Parents are required to attend all den and pack meetings with their son. The boys have their parent(s) sitting beside them, ready to help at a moments notice if their boy needs help with whatever the project is for the week.

My son is in a Bear den, but this happens in all dens regardless of age.

Is this the way your scouts does meetings?

The only experience I have with scouts was girls scouts back in the 80's. Meetings were never done with parents. We even went camping without our parents, just with the troop leader and her assistant.

How does your pack/den do meetings?

First year Tiger cub is required. Second year/wolf and above, it is not. Pretty sure this is BSA policy as that is the impression I was given. True for both den and pack meetings. This year, we don't have to attend with him and it is so nice.

All I can imagine is that maybe they are short on volunteers and have made a pack decision that this is the best way to ensure that they have enough supervision to accomplish what needs to be done.

We are relocating this week and I hope we don't have to go to all his meetings in his new pack.

 

[Wishing on a star]

My son is now an Eagle Scout.

I am not sure at what ages that parents are 'required' to be there with their children. We were more involved when our son started out in Cub Scouts. I can imagine it would be hard to have enough adult leadership committed to provide full oversight (child care) for the new Cub Scouts.

I can tell you that by the time the kids are Boy Scouts, many parents are not involved. My husband has been involved, and has been around. But, I can't see him 'doing things for/with my son' that our son could and should be doing on his own.

One would imagine that BSA is a pretty scripted and controlled organization. But, I can tell you that, in our experience. The differences between different Boy Scout Troops can be very very significant!

I can recommend Scouting.
But, I would say that you might want to look around and make sure that you are in the Pack/Troop that is right for you.

 

[ORMom2Four]

My son is now an Eagle Scout.

I am not sure at what ages that parents are 'required' to be there with their children. We were more involved when our son started out in Cub Scouts. I can imagine it would be hard to have enough adult leadership committed to provide full oversight (child care) for the new Cub Scouts.

I can tell you that by the time the kids are Boy Scouts, many parents are not involved. My husband has been involved, and has been around. But, I can't see him 'doing things for/with my son' that our son could and should be doing on his own.

One would imagine that BSA is a pretty scripted and controlled organization. But, I can tell you that, in our experience. The differences between different Boy Scout Troops can be very very significant!

I can recommend Scouting.
But, I would say that you might want to look around and make sure that you are in the Pack/Troop that is right for you.

The parents are told when they start that an adult must stay with their son during all meetings. That is not a problem for Dh or I, as it is only one hour a week, but I do see it intruding on the boys developing relationships with each other. We are in a new city and were hoping this would help DS make some friends, but the boys don't talk to each other. They immediately turn to their parent for any question or help and talk to their parents only.

You can join different packs? I thought you were put in the pack that corresponded to the school you go to?

 

[Sadie22]

Pack meetings are when all dens and the boys' families meet together. Dens may put on skits or provide other activities or demonstrations, or there may be a learning opportunity presented to the group or a group meal. Parents usually supervise their own children at these meetings.

Den meetings are for the small groups, and a lot of parent participation is needed. It may be that this pack has had problems with getting volunteer leadership or it may be that there have been discipline problems or he said/he said situations or hysteria regarding abuse.

Two or more adults must attend each den meeting. More is better. Cub scouting requires parental participation. It's not a drop-off and ignore type of group activity. In the case of one-parent households, arrangements may sometimes be made for another parent to take charge of someone else's child in the absence of a parent, but this arrangement is between the parents and communicated to pack leadership, not made by pack leadership.

Various packs and troops may have different "cultures" and the pack committee or troop committee and cubmaster/assistant cubmasters and scoutmaster/assistant scoutmasters and size of the organization as well as the requirements of the chartering organization (church, school, etc.) all affect the culture. For example, one group might require full uniforms all the time and another Tshirts for all but uniform inspection, and so on.

There is often more than one pack within an area, so if you are not comfortable with this one you may want to visit others. If all of your child's friends are in this one and the other parents are okay with how things are done, you may want to consider whether you would want to change.

If the meetings are right after school at your child's school, that's a reason to be in that den or pack.

Ask if these same rules are followed in Webelos.

 

[Jedana]

We have a son who just joined scouts and I am wondering if this is typical. Parents are required to attend all den and pack meetings with their son. The boys have their parent(s) sitting beside them, ready to help at a moments notice if their boy needs help with whatever the project is for the week.

My son is in a Bear den, but this happens in all dens regardless of age.

Is this the way your scouts does meetings?

The only experience I have with scouts was girls scouts back in the 80's. Meetings were never done with parents. We even went camping without our parents, just with the troop leader and her assistant.

How does your pack/den do meetings?

With DS (in Cub Scouts), we attended all meetings, but that was because DH was the den leader, and I was committee chair (so I'd spend most of the meeting with parents or with the rest of the committee). Now that DS is in Boy Scouts, DH travels with him to the meetings, but spends his time with the leadership (DH is now an ASM for the troop) in another room.

The way the BSA has it:
Tiger parents stay and work with their scouts.
Bear/Wolf parents are encouraged to stay, but can go.
Webelos parents are encouraged to go, but can stay.
Boy Scout parents are encouraged to go, but can stay and not interfere.

DH encouraged his parents to start dropping off during their Wolf year. He had a separate area blocked off for parents and siblings during the meetings, and if the parents wanted to stay, that's where they sat. Scouts were gently encouraged to stay at the other end of the room, and try to complete the work on their own or as a group.

There was a parent who chose to leave our pack, due to DH's stance on no siblings on Webelos only campouts. One parent was fine, but no more than one, and absolutely zero siblings (except one campout, where we did allow a family campout). She was upset that her younger son couldn't go, which meant that the Webelos couldn't attend (she wouldn't let him attend anything alone--not camping, not meetings, not soccer practice---the only time that kid didn't have a parent with him was at school. He never got to spend the night anywhere--not even his grandparents---without a parent there.)

 

[PrincessShmoo]

...
The way the BSA has it:
Tiger parents stay and work with their scouts.
Bear/Wolf parents are encouraged to stay, but can go.
Webelos parents are encouraged to go, but can stay.
Boy Scout parents are encouraged to go, but can stay and not interfere.

...

This is exactly how it was handled for both of our sons. Once they were in Boy Scouts (not Cub Scouts), we would, most of the time, stay for the announcements part of the meeting (just to be sure we were kept in the loop), and then leave, returning to pick them up at the end.

Pack meetings for the Cubs, parents were to attend.

 

[Jedana]

The parents are told when they start that an adult must stay with their son during all meetings. That is not a problem for Dh or I, as it is only one hour a week, but I do see it intruding on the boys developing relationships with each other. We are in a new city and were hoping this would help DS make some friends, but the boys don't talk to each other. They immediately turn to their parent for any question or help and talk to their parents only.

You can join different packs? I thought you were put in the pack that corresponded to the school you go to?

You may go to any pack in any council that you chose. It's up to you how far you want to go for a pack. Our son was in a pack that was not associated with his elementary school or church. That pack was the best fit for us, for meeting time and for values.

Go to https://beascout.scouting.org/ and put in your zip code. It will show packs in your area.

If you can't find a number or email for a pack, contact the district representative for that area. http://www.scouting.org/LocalCouncilLocator.aspx

 

[Jedana]

My son is now an Eagle Scout.

I am not sure at what ages that parents are 'required' to be there with their children. We were more involved when our son started out in Cub Scouts. I can imagine it would be hard to have enough adult leadership committed to provide full oversight (child care) for the new Cub Scouts.

I can tell you that by the time the kids are Boy Scouts, many parents are not involved. My husband has been involved, and has been around. But, I can't see him 'doing things for/with my son' that our son could and should be doing on his own.

One would imagine that BSA is a pretty scripted and controlled organization. But, I can tell you that, in our experience. The differences between different Boy Scout Troops can be very very significant!

I can recommend Scouting.
But, I would say that you might want to look around and make sure that you are in the Pack/Troop that is right for you.

for your son!

 

[Sgt Mickey]

My oldest was a scout and we usually stayed. Then the last two years I became the the leader of his den and I had a few parents stay to help but not all.

 

[okeydokey]

Cub scouts we were. Boy scouts we are not. but many do stay.

 

[RadioNate]

We did Tiger/Bear/Wolf as Cub Scouts and their den/pack required parents to stay. At the older levels you could leave if you had to and another parent in the den agreed to help your son if he needed it.

My DD is in girl scouts and unless you are the parent helper for that week you are expected to leave.

Completely opposite expectations between scouting groups.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Either my wife or I stayed when oldest was in Girl Scouts, but we did not participate other than snack time


Meetings lasted an hour & were 10 miles from home. No way I was going to make the trip twice

 

[Mickeypooh99]

Yes. I was the den leader for 5 years for one or the other of my boys. I required the parents to stay all the way from Tigers to Webelos. Our pack didn't require it. It was left up to the den leaders. I did this because we had a huge lack of volunteers. I couldn't get one parent to commit to be an assistant den leader, so I made them all stay. There always has to be two adults present.

Also, I could do a lot more with the boys if the parents helped out. If you are doing a project, and the boys need a little help, it takes way to much time to help them all individually. We only met for an hour. We always played group games so the boys were interacting with each other. As they got older the parents would sit back and only help out as needed.

If someone couldn't make it, then we would work it out. Honestly though, we live in a rural area. The meetings are only an hour. Most parents aren't going to want to drive home and turn around to come right back. I never had anyone complain.

Now that my boys are Boy Scouts, it's my DH who goes to meetings. He is now the advancement chair. The boys run the meetings now, and it is stressed that it is boy led. The parents who stay sit apart and chat. Some boys are dropped off and some drive themselves. It is much different than the cub scouts. My DH usually volunteers for 2 camp outs per year. The rest they go without us. They do one per month year round, plus one week at summer camp, plus one high adventure per year. Next summer is Glacier National park. I'm a little nervous about that one. 10 days will be the longest they have gone, and it's a long way from Michigan.

 

[mjkacmom]

We did Tiger/Bear/Wolf as Cub Scouts and their den/pack required parents to stay. At the older levels you could leave if you had to and another parent in the den agreed to help your son if he needed it.

My DD is in girl scouts and unless you are the parent helper for that week you are expected to leave.

Completely opposite expectations between scouting groups.

That's what I found. My girls did scouts for several years, but ds11 lasted onlyba year. The meetings were after school - even as a SAHM, it was hard to have one on one with ds while everyone was coming home from school. It wasn't possible for working parents.

 

[Pembo]

We were told to stay at den meetings when our boys were in Cub Scouts...esp the first few years. And always went to Pack Meetings.

Girl Scouts - I stayed but most moms didn't.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Thank you Jedana!!!
I really appreciate your congratulations!

 

[NCDisneyMom]

When ds was in Cubs, I was his Den Leader from Wolves through Webelos. We required parents to stay until Webelos 2. However, their direct participation was based more on the age. Tigers...yes, a lot of direct help was needed. By Bears, the parents sat more behind the boys, and only reached in to help when needed. By Webelos, most of my parents continued to stay every week, just so I could have extra hands if it was needed.

Now, Boy Scouts is a whole different story (my son is 1st class, and only 2 months away from Star; working his way toward Eagle). I find the dynamics of the parents interesting, now that we are "old-timers" in the troop:

You can tell the parents of the new scouts, right after they cross over, because they are the ones that stay for the whole meeting. Then, for the next year or two, they are the ones who go in at the end of each meeting to retrieve their son. By the time they reach "old-timer" status, they are with the rest of us, out in the parking lot, enjoying the quiet time in their car, waiting for their son to come out. I'll be approaching the next stage soon...not having to go at all, because ds will be able to drive himself.

 

[msjprincess]

Early years of Cub Scouts- Yes
Later years of Cub Scouts- Once in awhile if they needed help with something
Boy Scouts- No

Girls Scouts- I'm the leader, so yes. But other parents don't stay unless I ask for help. They're not allowed to stay unless they are registered.

 

[3boymthr]

Mom of 3 Scouts (1 Eagle, 1 1st class and 1 "Scout"), former den leader (I was den leader for both middle and youngest) and wife of the retired cubmaster who had to master the BSA attendance policy because we had a couple of contentious parents in our pack (let's drop the kid off at the pack meeting while we go off and party and then come back to pick him up an hour late and high as kites ) ETA - DH is also now an assistant scoutmaster.


Official BSA Policy:

Den Meeting Attendance
The den leader and assistant den leader (or another adult) attend all den meetings with the Cub Scouts. (At least two adults must be present at all meetings.) Tiger Cub den meetings are also attended by each Tiger Cub's adult partner. Wolf, Bear, and Webelos den meetings are often attended by a den chief, a Boy Scout or Venturer who assists the adult leaders. An activity badge counselor who has been asked to help with a specific badge may also attend a Webelos den meeting. Sometimes, a parent, guardian, or other family member might be asked to help at a specific meeting, but family members do not normally attend Wolf, Bear, or Webelos den meetings.

Pack Meeting Attendance
Cub Scouting is a family program. Pack meetings are for families—parents or guardians, brothers, sisters, and other family members—as well as all the Cub Scouts, den leaders, and pack leaders. District Scouters, such as the unit commissioner, should always be invited to attend, along with members from the chartered organization, community leaders, or anyone the pack leadership wishes to invite. Visitors from another pack, a troop, or a crew may also be present.

So...That's the official word. The pack CANNOT make an adult attend the den meeting of Wolfs, Bears and Webelos (even if the child has behavioral issues) ETA - although they can request it, but the BSA strongly recommends they attend the pack meeting. That is the way our pack always ran. We did require that the child have a designated "guardian" for a pack meeting - meaning if you made arrangements with your sister or your neighbor or your childs grandparents to take your son well then your child had "family" with them.

You can definitely choose any pack you want whether in your town or the next one over. You can also do the lone scout program but it's not recommended unless you live in a remote area.