School situation- thoughts,advice

[quiltingmom4]

Hi- I am usually a lurker here, but coming out of hiding for my sister. She has a school situation and is unsure of how to proceed.

My DNeice is 7 and in the second grade. She is a very smart girl who is probably working at the 4th grade level. Because she is bored, DN in class will bother some other students, not stay focused, likes to share her stories and opinions. DN is going through ADD and IQ testing to find out what is going on. DN has also been confirmed with Celiac disease and has just been put on the gluten free diet. DN behavior has always been with the regular classroom teacher and it is really for not focusing or talking. She doesn't hit other students and has never been sent to the principals office. There has never been any issues with the art, PE, or music teachers. Thoughts are it is because it holds her attention better and they only have her for a short period of time.

Earlier this week my DN came home and told her mom that she did not want to go back to art class. When my sister asked why, DN said she got into trouble and the teacher really yelled at her. Sis. asked why and DN said she was standing in line waiting her turn to use an art untensil and someone cut in front of her. DN said she was here first and went to grab the utensil. The other child grab it too and a tug of war started. My sis said ok, what was your punishment. DN said she had to go and sit in the hall for 5 minutes and that he threw a chair. Sis asked if DN had to go and pick up the chair, thinking DN was exaggerating. Dn said she had to pick the chair up. Dsis was going to let the incident slide, until Dsis talked to her best friend and got the real story. The real story is that yes my DN and an another child got into a tug of war over a pencil, but the teacher swore at my DN. Teacher said G** D*** IT. Yes the teacher did throw the chair. The teacher picked it up over the head and threw it out in the hall. The the teacher yelled at my DN that she didn't want to see her face again.

Sis sent an email to the principal who talked to the teacher who verified that everything above was true. Sis. is going in this morning to have a meeting with the principal. The teacher is supposed to apologize to my DN on Mon. I told my sis that she should pull DN out of that class for the rest of the year. I don't know anything else until she gets back from the meeting. What would you expect the principal/ school system to do in this situation. I know each system is different.
Thanks for any advice or opinions.

 

[luvmy3]

I would expect the school to look into replacing that teacher so that he can go through some anger management classes. It is never okay to lose control of your emotions when you are teaching a class. He needs to find a new profession that doesn't involve interacting with children, IMHO.

 

[Shmily1]

I would take her out of the class and then expect the teacher to have some kind of disciplinary action including anger management. Something similar happened to DS many years ago where the teacher was screaming at the children and she would throw white board markers at the kids if they talked while she was writing on the white board. I told the principal about it and he was furious. No one had told him about it before but evidently she had been doing it for a while. He immediately removed DS from that class and she was in deep stuff!! They put it in her records too.

Smart children do get board with school if they are not being challenged. I had a discussion with DS's teacher mentioned above before the incident and told her to challenge him. Give him hard stuff to do and keep him busy. She said she couldn't because she needed to get the other kids to catch up. BTW--the principal was furious that she did that too!!

Good luck to your sister!

 

[Robinrs]

I would expect the school to look into replacing that teacher so that he can go through some anger management classes. It is never okay to lose control of your emotions when you are teaching a class. He needs to find a new profession that doesn't involve interacting with children, IMHO.

Wow, I totally agree.

Yes, we all have times of meltdown. But to choose a profession with children... who are BOUND to push your buttons... the choice is not a good one.

She shouldn't work with people.... period. I know, I'm HORRIBLE with people jobs and I've taken on a profession that would not include that. There are millions of professions like that, she needs to find one.

 

[EMom]

I had a 3rd grade teacher who should have NEVER been allowed anywhere near children. She taught at our school one year and at the end of that, she was gone. During that year, she was verbally, emotionally and physically abusive to us. This was many years ago when you didn't get a lot of "my child would never misbehave so it must be the teacher's fault" type of parents. No, back then, you were more likely to have "if you get into trouble at school, you'll get into twice as much trouble when you get home" parents. But eventually, our parents figured out that SHE was in the wrong and we were being victimized.

I will never forget what she did to me. It could have inflicted serious injury. She thought I was talking to another student. Now, I was guilty of chatting from time to time, but in this case I was not talking. The other girl was talking to ME and I was just sitting there, doing my work. With no warning, she came from behind and slammed a large dictionary down on my head. Of course, I was crying my eyes out. I told my mother what happened and she got THE LOOK. She then told me that I could either give the teacher a message from her or she would go to the school and give it to the teacher in person. After hearing the message, I opted to deliver the message because if my mother still had THE LOOK on her face when she delivered it personally, I knew things would not be pretty.

The next day I went to class and that witchy teacher said something like, "So, did you tell your mommy?" I told her I had and that my mother had a message for her. She asked what it was. I said, "She said to tell you that if you ever hit me again, she's going to come up here and beat you with a baseball bat." This was the face the teacher made. And trust me, my mother was as good as her word. The teacher never bothered me again, but she did mess with other kids. Once she put a kid in the hall after abusing her and when she opened it to get the kid to come back in class, the child was gone. But the child was back in a few minutes, having walked across the street to her home to fetch her parents and a very large big brother, who proceeded to give the teacher hell in front of all of us. She left that kid alone too.

She was handicapped and one day she fell and could not get up. She asked us to help her, but we were so scared of her that we wouldn't go near her. She kept asking, but we were frozen. Finally, she had to yell and yell until another teacher heard her. We were too terrified of her to help her. Had it been any other teacher, we'd have assisted her in a second. But we were frightened that she'd turn on us if we got too close.

I could go on and on, but the mere fact that I remember all this so vividly decades later indicates how traumatic it was. Don't let that teacher stay around those children and do to them what was done to my class! I've been a teacher and I know that some kids can work your one last nerve, but the teacher you described is out of control. I'll wager she scared the crap out of other kids besides your niece when she went ape like that. Anyone who cannot control themselves any better than that is not safe around children, especially LITTLE children who can't protect themselves and are so vulnerable.

Demand that she's removed from the school. Forget having your niece removed. If my DD was in that class and was the teacher's pet, I'd still want that teacher out of there.

 

[horseshowmom]

Wow, just wow...

I've got about 25 years invested in the education system, and I have never heard or seen anything like that happen.

I doubt very seriously that the teacher would be rehired in our district if that happened. Personally, I think they should immediately be censured in some tangible way (written up and placed in their file and probably put on unpaid leave while they get some anger management counseling).

I've had some kids who may have made me want to throw something , but that's not acceptable behavior (just like screaming at a class is not acceptable). Throwing a chair and cursing a child goes way past just an apology regardless of what the child did.