School fundraising

[schlepsnort]

Today my little guy came home with a note from his PreSchool Director. Apparently they are starting a fundraiser for a program that my DH and I do not support and feel that they misuse the funds that they raise. We've read articles stating that much of the donations are used up in 'administrative costs' and very little trickles down to those who the fund is set up for...
But they are making a big deal about the kids getting to participate in this little fundraiser to teach them about community service.
I totally agree with teaching about community service. Our kids participate yearly in the local Arthritis Walk and we fundraise for this organization every year. We donate to the March of Dimes when they are out collecting coins, etc. This is not something new to them.
So I'm torn:
Do I let him participate so that he doesn't feel excluded when all the other kids are putting their monies in the special container and he doesn't, even though we think the organization receiving the monies misappropriates the funds?
Do we not let him participate but instead have him put the money he raises towards an organization that we feel more comfortable with and let his teachers know that he's still doing the project, we are just not allowing the money to go to this specific organization?

I agree with the whole idea of teaching 'giving' except I'm having a hard time accepting who is benefitting from it.

I will NOT disclose the organization as I do not want this thread turned into a debate over the merits of the organization itself.

Just what would you do if this situation presented itself to you and your child?

 

[rie'smom]

Give him 10-15 pennies just so he doesn't feel left out of the group.He'll feel like it's alot of money because it's loose change and you won't be contributing much at all to an organization that you don't support. I think that it's more important for your son to feel included at least at this age. When he's older,explain your feelings about the organization and why you feel you can't support it.

 

[MomofKatie]

I ran into this situation last year at DD's public elementary school. The teacher had her class do a social studies service project for a faith-based charity of her choosing. This project was supposed to focus on teaching the kids about giving to others and charity, but I felt uncomfortable with it. Mainly due to the fact that the charity was founded by and run by a Pentacostal minister I don't happen to agree with.

After a lot of thought, DD did participate in the project, but I did not send in any supplies or money for it. I wrote a note and explained to the teacher that I did not believe in the beliefs of the charity's founder, and she seemed to be okay with that.

At Christmas, I gave cash to a charity I personally support in this teacher's name. She got a card stating that as her gift. She might not have been thrilled with that, but I wasn't too thrilled with her choice of a Social Studies project at a public school, either.

 

[Al and Kate's Mom]

At Christmas, I gave cash to a charity I personally support in this teacher's name. She got a card stating that as her gift.

I think this is a fabulous idea

 

[barkley]

i know it's hard (esp. with younger ones) but dh and i were faced with a decision about fundraising a year or so ago and we just had to take a hard stance despite our kid's feelings about it.

our kids go to a christian school that occasionaly does some form of fundraising or contributions for various charities. we do not beleive in our children soliciting others (family, friends or neighbors) so in the case of fundraising we've always set a personal dollar amount and provided it to them to contribute. it's never been a problem until the school decided to do a fundraiser for a very good cause (that we supported) BUT they told the kids if they raised a certain dollar amount they would be 'rewarded' with participation in a pizza party. dh and i strongly believe and teach our children that charity should be done in private-and never for the purpose of personal gain, reward or reccognition. we explained to our kids that we beleived this fund raiser while good intentioned, was inappropriate in the way it was being handled. we advised the teacher/principal and while she did'nt seem to quite understand our postion (her theory was something had to be put in place to encourage participation) she accepted our stance.

the kids were not thrilled with our position on it, nor did they enjoy being excluded from the pizza party-but we felt it was a minor loss for them in the bigger scheme of teaching them about the christian virtues of charity.

if you don't support the charity the school is working for i think it can send the wrong message to your children to participate (even minutely with pennies) just to 'fit in'. i think children need to be taught at an early age to stand up for what is appropriate-lest they learn that 'mob mentality' or 'peer pressure' should override personal beliefs and convictions.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Wow. When DS was in preschool the fundraisers they did were to collect toiletries for a homeless shelter or hats and gloves for kids at a public elementary where a lot of the students were low income. I don't see how preschoolers can really "get" giving money. Well, no. I guess DS's preschool did do a fundraiser for an animal shelter where the kids put their pennies in a 5 gallon water jug. But they could grasp buying food for dogs & cats who were waiting for a family.

I see both sides of the issue. There is no way I would give money to a charity if I didn't believe in their philosophy or if they misused their funds. I can also see how you don't want your child to be the odd one out. I might send some change to school so he feels like part of the project, but I would also go to the director and tell her you don't appreciate the position she has put you in.

 

[grlpwrd]

I do not give to a particular "charity" organization either because of corruption and basically misuse of funds.

My dd's have come home and literally begged me to participate to give $$$, but I just couldn't do it. It was a learning experience for them to learn about values and having convictions, but in reality they did use their own money to donate.

Believe me, I was torn, but I let them ultimately decide and in their child view of the world they chose to help others. They did have to hear my speech about why I didn't agree with the organization, though.

I think there is also virtue in making their own decisions.

 

[JoyG]

At Christmas, I gave cash to a charity I personally support in this teacher's name. She got a card stating that as her gift. She might not have been thrilled with that...

I think I would have been thrilled with that.

 

[tar heel]

Just make sure that you're correct in your assumptions about the organization. Most local United Ways, for example, are very lean and have administrative costs in the 10% range, but lots of people still think all the $ goes to inflated salaries b/c of the controversy at the national level a few years back. Also, all United Ways allow you to designate to a particular organization -- some even allow you to give through United Way to nonprofits that are NOT United Way agencies. Where I used to work an employee was totally convinced that UW $ went to Planned Parenthood -- ironically, none did, but thousands went to a home for pregnant teens.

I've struggled with the United Way issue (I'm assuming that's what this thread was about), and for a couple of years we gave directly to agencies. We finally concluded that it's necessary b/c some very important agencies would have trouble getting the funding they need. Many of us would give money to hospice, the Boys and Girls Club, the daycare center in the poor neighborhood, etc., but how many of us would write a check to the half-way house for alcoholics? Many small nonprofits have a one person staff and are really dependent on UW for the fundraising.

Don't forget that some administrative percentage in the budget is necessary with pretty much any charity. If no one is running an organization, not much gets done. Obviously, you don't want it to be more than 10 or 15%, but good things don't happen by magic.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Well, I think one thing to learn about Community Service is that if you don't believe in the organization or cause, then it is perfectly ok to say "no I don't want to give."

Nobody should have to justify that decision to those around them. Personally, I'd never give my child money or whatever just so they will "fit in" because I don't think that is a very good lesson to teach. Instead, I might sit down with a list of charities and explanations of what each one does and how well they do it, and have them choose one to give a portion of their own allowance or money that they had earned.

It is hard to discuss United Ways, because so much depends on how that particular United Way is run. My husband and I personally do not donate to United Way mostly because I feel that they are simply an added layer of Administration. We choose instead to give directly to the charities that interest us.

 

[sk8ingmom]

Just make sure that you're correct in your assumptions about the organization. Most local United Ways, for example, are very lean and have administrative costs in the 10% range, but lots of people still think all the $ goes to inflated salaries b/c of the controversy at the national level a few years back. Also, all United Ways allow you to designate to a particular organization -- some even allow you to give through United Way to nonprofits that are NOT United Way agencies. Where I used to work an employee was totally convinced that UW $ went to Planned Parenthood -- ironically, none did, but thousands went to a home for pregnant teens.

I've struggled with the United Way issue (I'm assuming that's what this thread was about), and for a couple of years we gave directly to agencies. We finally concluded that it's necessary b/c some very important agencies would have trouble getting the funding they need. Many of us would give money to hospice, the Boys and Girls Club, the daycare center in the poor neighborhood, etc., but how many of us would write a check to the half-way house for alcoholics? Many small nonprofits have a one person staff and are really dependent on UW for the fundraising.

Don't forget that some administrative percentage in the budget is necessary with pretty much any charity. If no one is running an organization, not much gets done. Obviously, you don't want it to be more than 10 or 15%, but good things don't happen by magic.

AMEN & what she said! I run a small UW in real life. Yes, I get paid a fair salary for non-profits, but far, far less that if I was CEO of an almost $1 million company. Most people who choose to work in non-profits are motivated by more than money. My org. can't afford to offer health insurance or 401k matching, etc. (most of the agencies we fund do offer these benefits to their employeed). I have a 7 year old Windows 98 computer on my work desk. (This isn't oh woe-is me, just some facts. I LOVE my job!)

I really subscribe to the prinicpal that charitable gifts should be significant and meaningful to you (and your family). For some people, that is participating in a walk/run. For others it is collecting $ from others. For some it is writiing a check. It can be fun to set aside a family charitable gift budget each year and let everyone in the family discuss how to spend it. Have each person talk about a charity they support and make family decisions. When other things pop up you can decide to allocate more $ or tell the teacher that you have already made your contributions for the year. The organizations you support should say something about the things that are important to you and your family.

Anyone can be a philanthropist!

THUMP! (uhhh. . .that was me jumping down off my soapbox!)