School Field Trips

[darrose]

I agree with disykat. Please dont nominate yourself for sainthood if you choose to buy a child something on a field trip. And please dont assume the parent is a dead beat if that said child doesnt have any extra money on them.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

I agree with disykat. Please dont nominate yourself for sainthood if you choose to buy a child something on a field trip. And please dont assume the parent is a dead beat if that said child doesnt have any extra money on them.

see that's the thing - I don't think anyone is really doing that....

so, assuming someone is purposely undermining your efforts with your child because they bought them a treat is OK

 

[disykat]

I keep calling you out because you won't address how you can possibly get so "irritated" (your word!!!) over a kind gesture where the person could not have possibly known they were doing wrong...and you really haven't answered that....

I also do not think it is wrong to assume parents forgetting or not being able to send in money - those are the two most likely scenarios - yours is so out there as to be pretty rare....and again, you should probably make it known that no one is to buy anything for your child if you are so adamant about it...and you are so easily irritated by it.....

once again, no "war", I am not "bothered by your experience", not "irritated"...just taking part in a discussion and calling it as I see it - nothing more.......I think maybe you keep making more of those things because a few of my points are actually valid (and WDWfor5's point about assuming the best of people) and you would rather make over the top statements about others than address the actual questions and points that have been made...but that's just IMHO.....

I stand by my observation that you must be terribly jaded to think this way about people..and again, it isn't about your thinking differently in what you teach your kids, it is about your thinking the worst of others. I have made that pretty clear...ah well, you see what you want, sometimes I'm not sure you are even reading my posts except to pick out how "upset" I am - and you're wrong on that point as well.....

It saddens me you are a teacher.....I hope the teacher's in my own DD's life have a far better attitude and outlook on life - and more understanding and compassion for others and their motivations...

so you see I am saddened and confused as to how someone can be so negetive....nothing more....

Honestly, this is getting silly. Perhaps you should PM with your concerns if you really need to . I have stated exactly why I was irritated over the gesture and you've raked me over the coals for it already. I have tried to point out that there are other reasons for not sending in money to a field trip where no extras are required - the poll and other posters on this thread have pointed out many of them as well. (If you haven't noticed, the majority of people do not send in money) I explained my use of the word irritated to you. It is clear that nothing I can say will be good enough for you and you have resorted to out and out insults.

I'm saddened too - by your posts. While I take responsibility for not being able to communicate clearly to you, I think you need to look at your responses about how negative and jaded I am and give it some thought when you make your own posts.

I will try to remember in the future that other people think "irritated" is a fighting word, whereas I have always seen it as a mild word. I learned something new today.

 

[disykat]

so, assuming someone is purposely undermining your efforts with your child because they bought them a treat is OK

Who has assumed that? Certainly not me.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

yeah - I have dragged this out - that I will admit....

but I stand by my observations - and I am not the only one who felt that way about your being irritated or your tone....

and, again - the majority don't send in money - that doesn't mean the majority do so because they feel it is unneccessary or wrong ...especially not with your reasoning.....

 

[chamonix]

thought I might mention there may a difference in public vs. private school field trips. When dd went to public school, it was an issue with the "haves" vs. the "have nots" so no $$ was ever asked for field trips. In her private school, well, it's certainly not the kind of place where everyone is a "have" to the extreme, but everyone there could afford to send their kids with $5 or less for a field trip, so that part of the issue isn't an issue. lol (If that makes any difference in whether or not people think people "should or should not" send $$ on field trips.)

edited to add, all field trips are billed to the parents for costs anyway, no trips are free (not a "rich school" by any means), but spending money would have to accompany the child.

 

[pansmermaidzlagoon]

Who has assumed that? Certainly not me.

only weighing in again to answer your question:

well I thought that was why you were so irritated - because it went against what you are trying to teach your kids....if that ain't it, then what could possibly get you so up in arms over one simple instance of someone treating your kid to something....I just don't get it I guess...I thought it was about that....if you take that out of the equation it makes no sense at all.....if it had been me I would have said "oh well....they must not understand...no big...."

 

[MareQ]

I don't send money because they ask that we don't. We are to pay upfront for the school trip and pack a fully disposable lunch and/or snack. The school even asks parents that go to not spend money either @@ The school believes that speniding money will somehow make the other less fortunate children feel bad. (We live in a fairly wealthy school district too ) So because "Johnny's" mother may not have the $5 to send in for a trinket or a tub of popcorn - nobody else can have anything they didn't bring with them.

Last year DH went with DS on a field trip to the circus - he said he felt like a thief when he snuck off to buy himself a soda because the juice box wasn't enough for him

 

[Quasi123]

I have chaperoned many field trips. A lot of the time they tell the parents not to send money because there won't be time to get anything in a gift shop. I have bought kids little trinkets when they didn't have any money and we did have time to shop.

 

[Lachesis00]

I would send money (but knowing us, we'd be on the field trip too) because, not so much for trinkets, but my son is hypoglycemic, and believe me, if his blood sugar drops, everyone knows it! His salt intake also drops due to meds he is on. Both need to be monitored (not super close, but to an extent).

One year we went on the 5th grade field trip out of town... we went along but had family and friends in the area, so didn't actually paticipate in the field trip. All year long I told the teacher if he is cranky he needs to eat... she said he was a doll all year long.
Well the tides turned on the field trip. He didn't eat much because he didn't like all of the pre-made foods and therefor did not eat as he should have. The day before the trip was to end, he woke up (and because he had slept X amount of hours, it couldn't have been forseen by the teacher or parents) and was he ever a monster. I mean nasty, nasty monster. His poor teacher was in shock!! She had never seen him this way (of course he had been late to school because I would make him eat before hand, so she never had to see it. No one was really monitoring his eating, and since we were not hanging out with the group, we had no idea either.
Other parents who went as chaperones wanted him 'sent home' (he was that bad). I told the teacher, give him 30 minutes to eat and digest and if he is still a jerk, we'll take him from here. 30 minutes was up and he was back to the same old kid. Sure was an eye opener for people.

I have bought treats for other kids but never make a big deal out of it. I am just the kind of person, I buy for one, I buy for all.

 

[disykat]

As much as I hate to do this, I have to bump this. I am seriously over this thread. I'm still stymied about why it's so horrible to be irritated over someone's actions (regardless of their motivation -about which I never speculated), but it's okay to to bash someone because they "dared" to be irritated.

I kept being asked why I was irritated, so I explained. I then got bashed more, but told I wasn't answering the question. I tried to keep my good humour and avoid making personal attacks.

I certainly don't expect my opinions to be popular, but I'm seriously questioning what is going on with the behavior of some people on this thread.

I'm not irritated about this thread. I'm actually quite upset at this point. I understand YAGE now. It's really hard to feel like you have to leave the DIS due to nastiness.

 

[Todd&Copper]

In elementary school, we never brought money on field trips. It was the late 1970's in Hawaii, and I remember going to the Dole pineapple plant and Meadowgold Farm for tours. I couldn't tell you if either place had a gift shop. Oh, and we had trips to the Honolulu Zoo. I only brought a quarter in my "around the neck" change purse for an emergency phone call home, if necessary.
Unless the school specifically says you should bring additional money, I don't think the kids should.


And on a side note, the "need" for water bottles just kills me! How oh how did we EVER survive without them when I was a kid, or my parents before me, or their parents, ad nauseum.

 

[LadyTrampScamp&Angel]

In all my kids years at preschool and school so far I've only sent money with DS once. That was because it was an all day trip to the state capitol and the teachers let us know we could send money for a souvenir if wanted and we needed to send money for dinner (that the teachers kept until they stopped at a fast food place). All other times we are not asked to send money, but to send a bag lunch and/or a drink with the child.

It doesn't seem to be the norm here to send money on a field trip. I've done my share of chaperoning them and they do not usually include a trip to any gift stores etc, where money would be required.

 

[C.Ann]

My 8 yr. old DGD always has a little money on her - no matter where she goes - for emergencies.. She knows she's not allowed to use it for trinkets or such on field trips though..

 

[va32h]

I don't send money with my kids - the school would prefer that we not, for all the other reasons already stated in this thread.

However, when I "chaperoned" on my son's class trip to the zoo last year, I did buy him snacks and a souvenier.

Let me explain!!

I could not get a sitter for my then 2yo daughter, so I had to bring her with me. This meant I could not ride on the bus, so I drove myself. I was then informed that since I had a sibling with me, I could not supervise any other children from my son's class - just my son. And his teacher said that since I had driven myself, I could just take him straight home after the trip. We did sit with the class at lunch, and he had his sack lunch that he brought. But since we were on our own after that, I just treated it like our own personal trip to the zoo, which is what it ended up being, anyway.

 

[java]

late to the discussion as usual but...
I don't "expect" other parents to send in money and if they all don't have money to do something- then none of us do it. We went to the Philadelphia Zoo- I had 2 other boys with my 2 children. We were sent off to enjoy the zoo alone. So when my kids wanted ice cream- I bought it for the other 2 boys. (they were friends of my son and I felt like it was a treat) Our school has since changed the policy. The kids bring a bag lunch and then they get a suggested amount of $ to bring for "extras" With that spelled out on the note I feel if a parent choses to not send $ they don't want to spend it and that is fine by me- there is plenty to do included in the school trip.

 

[WDWfor5]

As much as I hate to do this, I have to bump this. I am seriously over this thread. I'm still stymied about why it's so horrible to be irritated over someone's actions (regardless of their motivation -about which I never speculated), but it's okay to to bash someone because they "dared" to be irritated.

I kept being asked why I was irritated, so I explained. I then got bashed more, but told I wasn't answering the question. I tried to keep my good humour and avoid making personal attacks.

I certainly don't expect my opinions to be popular, but I'm seriously questioning what is going on with the behavior of some people on this thread.

I'm not irritated about this thread. I'm actually quite upset at this point. I understand YAGE now. It's really hard to feel like you have to leave the DIS due to nastiness.

I'm sorry you feel attacked as I don't see anyone's post that way but I guess I understand how you could take them that way. I think what upset me about your post isn't that you don't send money or that you don't beleive in the need for little trinkets on every trip (I even agree on that last point), it's that you get annoyed/irritated when a parent chaperone buys something for your child.

As one of the few parents in my DD's class who regularly volunteers, it is really upsetting to hear that what I do as a nice gesture would be irritating to someone. I don't expect to be nominated for sainthood nor do I want to be thanked by the adult (it is nice if the child says thanks though). I just get very frustrated at the thought of some parent sitting at home thinking to themselves "what an annoying woman, I can't beleive she would buy something for my child" and being irritated at me for even a second. It's one of those things that makes me question why I volunteer so much of my time if even the most innocuos thing could irritate someone.

And as for the point that I assume someone forgot the money, so what - I forget things and would probably occasionally forget money for a field trip if I wasn't always on them. I don't look down on anyone for forgetting, I just cover them on it so that their child's feeling are not hurt.

So don't feel hurt - I think everyone is just trying to tell you that being irritated at parents for trying to be nice is a little over the top. Since no one can be expected to know why you don't send money, either tell the teacher or go with the flow.

Hope this helps explain.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I guess it's okay to be condescending about parents who don't send money but not okay to be irritated by parents that might be "nice" enough to buy things for my child and then quite possibly make snarky comments about parents that caused them to do so?

ITA!!!!

The original poster was just as condescending when she said

"I'm constantly surprised that parents do not even send their kid on a field trip with enough money to buy a drink! ..... every time i feel compelled to spend additional money for kids who didn't bring money."

I am sorry, but NO I am not a lame parent. The school provides an opportunity for lunch and a drink. My child is not gonna die or suffer.

NO, I have never seen spending money recommended for little early elementary school kids on DS' field trips.

NO, I do not send money with my DS... In many cases I see it as these locations using little 6-7-8 year old kids as a marketing opportunity.

NO, I do not expect another parent to buy things for my kids. (including a $3.50 bottle of water, when I do NOT for one minute believe that there were no water fountains anywhere.)

NO, I am not responsible if you feel so 'compelled' to buy things while on field trips, and act like all other parents must be 'irresponsible.

Disykats remarks may have come off a little strong. But she is entitled to her feelings of at the other parent if she believed them to be like the OP.

 

[disykat]

Okey, dokey. I guess I have a thicker skin than you do because I've been room mom, chaperoned numerous trips, PTA president, the works - and I've never been bothered by the idea that there are sometimes going to be people irritated by something I do. It's part of being around other people.

The thing that's new to me is having someone say to me "how dare you?", or telling me I lack compassion, or that live a pathetic life (paraphrasing because I don't want to go back for the exact words), or that I must be a bad teacher. Those are new things to me, I've never experienced it in real life. If others don't see how those things could be seen as attacking, I guess they live differently than me.

 

[lowie]

ITA!!!!


I am sorry, but NO I am not a lame parent. The school provides an opportunity for lunch and a drink. My child is not gonna die or suffer. i never said LAME, please don't put words in my mouth.

NO, I do not expect another parent to buy things for my kids. (including a $3.50 bottle of water, when I do NOT for one minute believe that there were no water fountains anywhere.) sorry if you think i lied, really i have no reason to. silly actually to feel so strongly that you'd call another poster a liar about something as innocuous as a water fountain

NO, I am not responsible if you feel so 'compelled' to buy things while on field trips, and act like all other parents must be 'irresponsible. i never asked you to take responsibility