School field trip, bathing suit guidelines

[Colleen27]

I hate when our school has swim events because the rule is "no two-piece suits". My younger DD (6) doesn't own a one-piece suit - they're a pain for bathroom breaks, and her Frozen tankini from the Disney Store certainly isn't revealing! - and my older DD (13) only has her competition suit. I don't let her buy revealing suits and rule out plenty of one-piece suits with some of my rules (proper clasps not ties, a cross-back design that will stay put while being active, no ultra-high-cut legs), but for simple logistical reasons both girls prefer two piece swimwear.

 

[Gracie09]

I have a 6th grade son and a hs junior son, I also work at a school, yes these kids, both sexes are distracted by each other. You should hear their conversations. I also own a pool and have many kids here over the years, the boys do "talk" after the girls have left, "wow she was hanging out etc".

I really do not get what the big deal is about guidelines and dress codes, been living with it all my life and so have my kids since they attend uniform schools. It gets hot here in PA and we wore uniforms so I dont get the big deal if your poor child cant wear a tank top bc it is hot...oh boo hoo. And yes I have been to FL and none of us wear tank tops and we all survive. Am I saying never to wear a tank top...NO, if you like them wear them! But if the school says no to the tank top, they are not going to suffer if they have to wear a regular tshirt for the day. Wear the tank top when you get home or on the weekends.

I also realized the other day why the spaghetti strap sundresses might not be allowed, as you know that guy was in the news bc his 5 yr old had to change. Well we were in Mass last weekend and I saw two different girls, not siblings, wearing what would have been really cute sundresses, EXCEPT the straps kept falling down bc the dresses did not fit. And many times the actual dress fell down, and the girls were pulling them up and their chest was exposed. Yes I know there is nothing there but there are creeps out there and regardless it is not a good idea to have their chests exposed. I am sure it is much, much easier for a school to say no to these dresses/tops etc then to have to worry or tell little girls to pull up the dresses constantly.

Or maybe the teacher could send a not or say to the parent Sally had an issue with her dress today. Maybe you want to adjust the straps before she wears it again. Done. My dds teacher did that with a pair of shoes she was tripping over. Right size but too wide for her feet. We didn't realize it before sending her to school because she only put them on as we were headed out the door.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

So right, and I think the reality of that is getting lost in the rethoric of gender politics and morality here. My DS and many, many other boys I've known, during their early adolescence (12-14) were so self-conscious that they wouldn't have gone shirtless, even in the water. I didn't raise a girl, but I imagine some of them must go through the same phase, especially these days when body-image is so critical to kids at younger and younger ages. That's such a tough stage of life...

If I were running such a field trip the guidelines would be simple: Wear any kind of swimsuit you want and everybody put a t-shirt over top; boys and girls alike. Solves a lot of problems (including sun burn) and you can have just as much fun at the water park that way.

Our local water park (Six Flags) does not permit t-shirts on most of their slides.

 

[ronandannette]

Seems a bit drastic to make everybody wear a t-shirt because a very few are uncomfortable. Why not just say you can wear a t-shirt if you prefer?

6th grade boys are only distracted if that is what they have been taught.

I made no reference to either the boys or the girls being distracted by one another. My post wasn't about that at all.

 

[Mkrop]

Or maybe the teacher could send a not or say to the parent Sally had an issue with her dress today. Maybe you want to adjust the straps before she wears it again. Done. My dds teacher did that with a pair of shoes she was tripping over. Right size but too wide for her feet. We didn't realize it before sending her to school because she only put them on as we were headed out the door.

I would rather the teacher teach than worry about what kids are wearing and having to send emails. And why isnt it the parents responsibility...why didnt the two different set of parents address this issue before Mass or during...they did not, they either didnt care or didnt notice, and it was very obvious for both girls. And teachers cant help that day bc technically they cant touch the kid. We have to be super careful when the little ones cant rebutton their pants or when the pants eye and hook thing breaks. I know at lunch they encourage us to bring the kiddos over to the teacher or the head recess person to see if we can rebutton or fix, but two of us have to be present when adjusting it.

 

[pookybean]

Interesting. I actually wear a two piece when swimming (actual swimming - I do triathlons), but it covers just as much as a one piece (i.e. the top of the bottoms meets the bottom of the top). It is just easier to get into and out of for me. Wonder if the camp would allow that?

I'm not sure, we never tried to do it. The tankini was harder to fit for her, both the bottom and the top. She is rather well endowed in both areas so that was one issue we had while shopping. She also doesnt like that her stomach shows when/if she raises her hands. Her class is taking an end of the year trip to a water park in another 2 weeks. She said she will not wear the tankini, so i suppose we will be shopping sometime this week.

 

[mamacatnv]

I went to public school in the late 70's early 80's. I don't remember any type of dress code and looking back at my yearbooks I am fairly certain we didn't have a dress code and yet, we all managed to become educated. The majority of us are productive citizens with higher educations, good careers and families.
We wore all kinds of things. I remember when the tube top and suspenders was a thing. Now, those who chose to dress hoochie had to deal with the peer comments and labels that came with it. However, tanks, spaghetti straps and shorts/mini skirts were certainly not going to get someone labeled. The tube top and suspenders........well that might have done it

My DD is in high school in Central TX and most of the dress code rules are just stupid IMO. I'm fairly conservative, never let DD wear things with writing on her butt, went for classic styling when she was young opposed to the more modern trendy "grownup" looks etc. but the headlines regarding dress code extremes, swim suits, prom dresses, graduation attire etc highlight to me administration over reach and a fear of female skin. Definitely sending the wrong message IMO

Several years ago my DD attended a girl scout camp in N. California. One of the adult counselors deemed her very modest shorts to be inappropriate and DD was forced to wear her jeans the entire week. I was furious when I found out, there is a thread about it here on the DIS somewhere.
There was no stated dress code, DD had done nothing wrong and this idiot adult came along, randomly decided that she should not wear her shorts and made a random unfounded ruling that put a damper on DD's entire week. Girl Scout council later apologized.

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

I will never understand why 10-12 year olds cannot wear tank tops or tankinis. There is absolutely nothing to sexualize about a kid that young. The reason I support the "no string bikinis" for waterpark field trips is solely because they have been known to get loose and fall off on the slides-- yikes! If boys can wear no shirt on their school waterpark field trips, then girls should be allows to wear a non-string bikini.

Oh man, and don't get me started on tank tops. We must protect the boys from women's shoulders! Send the witches home for the day. Boys not seeing shoulders is more important the girls' educations

 

[Soldier's*Sweeties]

I will never understand why 10-12 year olds cannot wear tank tops or tankinis. There is absolutely nothing to sexualize about a kid that young. The reason I support the "no string bikinis" for waterpark field trips is solely because they have been known to get loose and fall off on the slides-- yikes! If boys can wear no shirt on their school waterpark field trips, then girls should be allows to wear a non-string bikini.

Oh man, and don't get me started on tank tops. We must protect the boys from women's shoulders! Send the witches home for the day. Boys not seeing shoulders is more important the girls' educations

Obviously you're in denial over how kids' hormones work.

J/K... Hopefully you read the thread in its entirety to get the sarcasm.

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

Obviously you're in denial over how kids' hormones work.

J/K... Hopefully you read the thread in its entirety to get the sarcasm.

Oh, of course! This thread is a train wreck of sarcasm lol.

Not in denial. Endocrine used to be my worst subject-- so naturally I studied it into the ground I always laugh when people assume that teenage boys are the only ones with "raging hormones". Contrary to popular belief, women have hormones too. People just live in denial and choose to believe that they only use their's when they're "PMS'ing at everyone." Either way, both sexes should be taught self control and how to behave in certain situations. Shame on those children who weren't taught not to harass whichever gender they're attracted to during a darn school sponsored field trip!

 

[Gracie09]

I would rather the teacher teach than worry about what kids are wearing and having to send emails. And why isnt it the parents responsibility...why didnt the two different set of parents address this issue before Mass or during...they did not, they either didnt care or didnt notice, and it was very obvious for both girls. And teachers cant help that day bc technically they cant touch the kid. We have to be super careful when the little ones cant rebutton their pants or when the pants eye and hook thing breaks. I know at lunch they encourage us to bring the kiddos over to the teacher or the head recess person to see if we can rebutton or fix, but two of us have to be present when adjusting it.

What do you think happens when teachers have to enforce dress codes? High school in the town next to me, one teacher spent 30 minutes of class making the girls stand up to see if their shirts and shorts conformed to the dress code. They all did but there were severa boys whose shirts did not conform to dress code but they weren't made to stand up or leave. I go back to what I stated previously, why not simple teach that the opposite sex are not sexual objects but people to be respected. There is an epidemic of sexual assault in college. Over 1/4 of women in college report being sexually assaulted. Why not start in middle school teaching that people regardless of how they dress or act are to be respected. Instead we blame shift and victim blame and make girls responsible for the thoughts and behaviors of boys.

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

What do you think happens when teachers have to enforce dress codes? High school in the town next to me, one teacher spent 30 minutes of class making the girls stand up to see if their shirts and shorts conformed to the dress code. They all did but there were severa boys whose shirts did not conform to dress code but they weren't made to stand up or leave. I go back to what I stated previously, why not simple teach that the opposite *** are not sexual objects but people to be respected. There is an epidemic of sexual assault in college. Over 1/4 of women in college report being sexually assaulted. Why not start in middle school teaching that people regardless of how they dress or act are to be respected. Instead we blame shift and victim blame and make girls responsible for the thoughts and behaviors of boys.

Yes!! It doesn't matter what he/she is wearing. A person is a person and they deserve to be treated like someone. I was raised to believe this, that no one deserves to be treated inhumanely.

 

[ashley0139]

The thinking that males cannot control their urges at any age is DANGEROUS. I can't believe this is still something people believe. You are literally teaching girls that boys' sexual urges are more important than their education. You are teaching boys that they have no control over their hormones. How can either of those things possibly be okay?

Maybe when clothing companies make it actually possible for girls to find longer shorts parents can dress their kids like that. But in one breath you have clothing companies only making short shorts and skinny tank tops, and in another breath you have schools telling kids they can't wear them. They can't wear something that doesn't exist, and wanting to look cute is not a crime. Girls shouldn't have to wear bermuda shorts and polos every day because some boy might get inappropriately distracted. That's insane. Instead of teaching your girls modesty, teach your boys not to sexualize girls in school and to control themselves.

This thread is so dangerous.

 

[Art 1]

The thinking that males cannot control their urges at any age is DANGEROUS. I can't believe this is still something people believe. You are literally teaching girls that boys' sexual urges are more important than their education. You are teaching boys that they have no control over their hormones. How can either of those things possibly be okay?

Maybe when clothing companies make it actually possible for girls to find longer shorts parents can dress their kids like that. But in one breath you have clothing companies only making short shorts and skinny tank tops, and in another breath you have schools telling kids they can't wear them. They can't wear something that doesn't exist, and wanting to look cute is not a crime. Girls shouldn't have to wear bermuda shorts and polos every day because some boy might get inappropriately distracted. That's insane. Instead of teaching your girls modesty, teach your boys not to sexualize girls in school and to control themselves.

This thread is so dangerous.

Why not teach both?

 

[ashley0139]

Why not teach both?

Sure, in general, teach both. I was commenting on the replies in this thread that basically excuses boys because they're boys. That's insane.

 

[Saimaeve]

Sure, in general, teach both. I was commenting on the replies in this thread that basically excuses boys because they're boys. That's insane.

I think a lot of people here don't realize that you can teach boys not to objectify girls because they can't stop objectifying them themselves. Which is why people think people upset over sexist issues is just whiny people talking. No, it's because for so long people allow boys to be boys because they refuse to parent them to control their sexual urges and see beyond their genitals into treating others as equals and valuing more than sex. For a very prudish society, it raises a lot of sexually obsessed children simply because they act like the human body is taboo and a woman's body is scandalous

 

[Mkrop]

What do you think happens when teachers have to enforce dress codes? High school in the town next to me, one teacher spent 30 minutes of class making the girls stand up to see if their shirts and shorts conformed to the dress code. They all did but there were severa boys whose shirts did not conform to dress code but they weren't made to stand up or leave. I go back to what I stated previously, why not simple teach that the opposite *** are not sexual objects but people to be respected. There is an epidemic of sexual assault in college. Over 1/4 of women in college report being sexually assaulted. Why not start in middle school teaching that people regardless of how they dress or act are to be respected. Instead we blame shift and victim blame and make girls responsible for the thoughts and behaviors of boys.

Our teachers have to enforce a dress code with uniforms too, it doesnt take all that long. I am a big proponent of uniforms in all schools. public and private. Makes things so much easier. And I think you can teach both, I teach my boys to be respectful of woman but I also dont think having a dress code/uniforms takes away from that.

The thinking that males cannot control their urges at any age is DANGEROUS. I can't believe this is still something people believe. You are literally teaching girls that boys' sexual urges are more important than their education. You are teaching boys that they have no control over their hormones. How can either of those things possibly be okay?

Maybe when clothing companies make it actually possible for girls to find longer shorts parents can dress their kids like that. But in one breath you have clothing companies only making short shorts and skinny tank tops, and in another breath you have schools telling kids they can't wear them. They can't wear something that doesn't exist, and wanting to look cute is not a crime. Girls shouldn't have to wear bermuda shorts and polos every day because some boy might get inappropriately distracted. That's insane. Instead of teaching your girls modesty, teach your boys not to sexualize girls in school and to control themselves.

This thread is so dangerous.

Really girls in uniform schools survive just fine in bermuda shorts and polos everyday. It is not that big deal and these kids find plenty of ways to look cute or express themselves.

I dont think having a dress code/uniforms teaches boys or makes us all think that boys cant think and concentrate or be disrepectful. I think you can teach boys to be respectful of each other but still acknowledge that the hormones exist on both sides, and to have dress restrictions on both sides. There have been issues with boys having their pants sagging down, I dont think that is a sexual distraction but a distraction none the less. Boys have restrictions as well.

And I see plenty of clothes that would meet most dress codes out in the stores, or they are somewhere, bc when we have our dress down days, the students have longer shorts (girls) and neither boys or girls can wear tank tops, and they have to wear a full shoe...that is for safety issues...but I am sure some would argue that bc their kid just "has to wear their cute sandals....

 

[ashley0139]

Really girls in uniform schools survive just fine in bermuda shorts and polos everyday. It is not that big deal and these kids find plenty of ways to look cute or express themselves.

It's not about surviving. It's about what you're teaching them. It's about teaching girls to be ashamed of something they can't change - their bodies. It's about teaching them that boys' education is more important than theirs. It's about teaching them that they will be to blame when they get sexually assaulted at a college party.

That's not the kind of lesson I want my future daughters learning, because some hormonal boys may be distracted.

 

[mjkacmom]

Our teachers have to enforce a dress code with uniforms too, it doesnt take all that long. I am a big proponent of uniforms in all schools. public and private. Makes things so much easier. And I think you can teach both, I teach my boys to be respectful of woman but I also dont think having a dress code/uniforms takes away from that.



Really girls in uniform schools survive just fine in bermuda shorts and polos everyday. It is not that big deal and these kids find plenty of ways to look cute or express themselves.

I dont think having a dress code/uniforms teaches boys or makes us all think that boys cant think and concentrate or be disrepectful. I think you can teach boys to be respectful of each other but still acknowledge that the hormones exist on both sides, and to have dress restrictions on both sides. There have been issues with boys having their pants sagging down, I dont think that is a sexual distraction but a distraction none the less. Boys have restrictions as well.

And I see plenty of clothes that would meet most dress codes out in the stores, or they are somewhere, bc when we have our dress down days, the students have longer shorts (girls) and neither boys or girls can wear tank tops, and they have to wear a full shoe...that is for safety issues...but I am sure some would argue that bc their kid just "has to wear their cute sandals....

Sandals?! Say it isn't so?! With perhaps some toe showing? Scandalous! My girls love wearing clunky sensible shoes - they've been taught that cute sandals just lead them down the road to debauchery!

 

[TheDisneyNurse]

It's not about surviving. It's about what you're teaching them. It's about teaching girls to be ashamed of something they can't change - their bodies. It's about teaching them that boys' education is more important than theirs. It's about teaching them that they will be to blame when they get sexually assaulted at a college party.

That's not the kind of lesson I want my future daughters learning, because some hormonal boys may be distracted.

Well said! And agreed, this topic is starting to tread into dangerous territory.

Regardless, women are violated and disrespected in all sorts of clothing. Women of all different ages, shapes, and sizes. And they will continue to be violated regardless of a dress code or not. It's not a dress code that is protecting them-- it is teaching men not to act in these ways. Women wearing corsets and 5 layers of clothing in the 1800s were still raped.