School Car Pool Question

[Christine]

Honestly I would pay for the bus service. I know you are trying to avoid that option but it sounds like more trouble than it is worth to me.

I would have done the bus but my neighbor was opposed. And I am dependent on her to do the bus option. Both my husband and I work early and no flexibility there. If she doesn't buy off on the bus, I can't do it.

She wanted the carpool last year and I have been nervous about it ever since due to things like this and us not being very flexible. But I don't have a lot of options.

I *thought* we might buy into one of those carpool arrangements where we "pay for our seat"--I was offered that last year. That's how I thought it would go this year. But we found out there was another neighborhood kid and he was being driven to school so that's how it came about. The whole thing seemed a bit unsettled to me.

Now, my friend has a HUGE sense of fairness and she believes that we need to pick this boy up everyday when school lets out and then go back and get our kids later. I don't think she's necessarily wrong but uuuugggghhh, you know?

 

[luvmy3]

All the carpools I have ever been in, and that's a lot, were for regular start and end times for the day. If a kid has an activity before or after school, it is that kid's parents' responsibility to get them to or from.

Me too. The point of a car pool is to transport people going to the same place at the same time. If you are driving back and forth at various times to pick up 3 kids thats not carpooling, thats a taxi service. Not that I'd want payment, but if the other kids were not leaving at the same time as my own I would not make extra trips to get them. In your situation, I would just pay for the bus service and let the other parents figure out their "car pool"

 

[3doodlebugsmom]

No one else is available. Both the other parents and I work. We get to work at 6AM. Morning driving is not an option unless it is an emergency and one of us will take off work. They agreed to do the morning shift, we take care of the afternoon based on the kids having a normal schedule, i.e., when sports are over, my husband will be bringing the kids home everyday at 2:45 p.m.[/QUOTE]


What is going to happen if your child decides to join a winter or spring activity? Is your husband going to pick up the other two kids at 2:45, with you getting your child later on since family #1 brings the kids every morning?

You need this family for a ride in the morning. I would take turns with family #2 picking up their son in the afternoon.

 

[LuvOrlando]

Here is the compromise I see. Casts are usually only a 6 week thing, I guess i would just make due with the added inconvenience and take turns with the other afternoon Mom with picking the cast boy up. Maybe 1 week on and one week off would be easiest to manage time wise. If you split the obligation between the two of you it tuns out to only be 3 weeks for you yourself, 15 days M-F total... not too much really. As for getting out of work at 2:30, I would let the kid know you'll do it but you can only get there when you get there so he should probably study or do homework until you or the other Mom can get him at around 3 or so.

I can't see ruining a good arrangement over a few weeks of inconvenience so i would compromise, especially since it's a temporary medical thing I would compromise, but that's just me.

 

[Christine]

What is going to happen if your child decides to join a winter or spring activity? Is your husband going to pick up the other two kids at 2:45, with you getting your child later on since family #1 brings the kids every morning?

You need this family for a ride in the morning. I would take turns with family #2 picking up their son in the afternoon.

Yes, that would be the deal, we'd have to go get the 2:30 dismissal kids.

In hindsight, this carpool probably wasn't the greatest arrangement but I didn't really have a lot of say in the matter--had to go along with it.
Because both my husband and I have to work very early, I am pretty much at the mercy of others. Fortunately, the carpool situation isn't forever. My son gets his license in late March. If it gets really difficult he can start driving himself then.

 

[kacaju]

I am so sorry this is not working out for you. Why do you need this woman if you want to bus your child?
Personally, this is the one reason I hate carpools. I drive my kids to our HS everyday (no bussing here).
I never mind helping out in an emergency, but I will not be driving kids to and from school daily.

 

[Christine]

I am so sorry this is not working out for you. Why do you need this woman if you want to bus your child?
Personally, this is the one reason I hate carpools. I drive my kids to our HS everyday (no bussing here).
I never mind helping out in an emergency, but I will not be driving kids to and from school daily.

Because I can't get my son to the bus without relying on my friend's husband to do it. He no longer wants to do it (taking my son and his daughter). He would do it if there was no other option, but a carpool is the other option and they wanted to pursue that.

The situation isn't necessarily "not working out". It was fine until last night when the boy got hurt. It may still work out in the end but I just want to do the "right" thing by the family that drives the morning shift. I just think the "right" thing is going to wreak havoc on the evenings.

 

[golfgal]

Because I can't get my son to the bus without relying on my friend's husband to do it. He no longer wants to do it (taking my son and his daughter). He would do it if there was no other option, but a carpool is the other option and they wanted to pursue that.

The situation isn't necessarily "not working out". It was fine until last night when the boy got hurt. It may still work out in the end but I just want to do the "right" thing by the family that drives the morning shift. I just think the "right" thing is going to wreak havoc on the evenings.

Since you have no other option in the morning I think that for a couple weeks you and the other family should split the time picking up the other boy. It is only for another month or so, right. You could either have one family drive both times or each family drive once/day (which is pretty equal for everyone involved). Another thing to look into is I know in some clinics they have bus service to pick up kids that need to do PT-something to look into.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would have done the bus but my neighbor was opposed. And I am dependent on her to do the bus option. Both my husband and I work early and no flexibility there. If she doesn't buy off on the bus, I can't do it.

She wanted the carpool last year and I have been nervous about it ever since due to things like this and us not being very flexible. But I don't have a lot of options.

I *thought* we might buy into one of those carpool arrangements where we "pay for our seat"--I was offered that last year. That's how I thought it would go this year. But we found out there was another neighborhood kid and he was being driven to school so that's how it came about. The whole thing seemed a bit unsettled to me.

Now, my friend has a HUGE sense of fairness and she believes that we need to pick this boy up everyday when school lets out and then go back and get our kids later. I don't think she's necessarily wrong but uuuugggghhh, you know?

If you can work it out that way then it is no problem. Who is available to pick him up at 2:45?

You and your friend could split that up. One of you picks him up at 2:45 and the other picks up at the later time. In essence making only 2 trips. That is a reasonable compromise.

 

[Christine]

The fall sports that my son and her daughter are in will last until mid-November so this arrangement (if we decide on it) will go until then. My friend/neighbor and I are in a carpool leaving work at 2:30. If we were to pick the boy up, we would just both go and get him rather than go to our respective homes, get into another car, make another drive to the school. So there would be no switching off.

Both of our kids get out of their activities at different times. My son between 4:45 and 5:00, her daughter around 5:45. At 5:00 the study hall closes so my son can't go into the school and sit and wait for the later parent to come.

My husband was going to be the designated picker-upper at 2:45. He gets off work at 2:00. However, when he found out that he wouldn't be needed until November, he enrolled in a course that he has to take for work that will be over by that time.

It's just kind of a mess.

I'm really hoping that the family wants to pick up their son early. He probably will have to get to PT.

Based on everyone's input, we are going to offer them money to do the morning drive at which point the payment will stop in November when the carpool resumes normal operations. We will also offer to pay no cash but to pick him up at around 3:15 everyday.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The fall sports that my son and her daughter are in will last until mid-November so this arrangement (if we decide on it) will go until then. My friend/neighbor and I are in a carpool leaving work at 2:30. If we were to pick the boy up, we would just both go and get him rather than go to our respective homes, get into another car, make another drive to the school. So there would be no switching off.

Both of our kids get out of their activities at different times. My son between 4:45 and 5:00, her daughter around 5:45. At 5:00 the study hall closes so my son can't go into the school and sit and wait for the later parent to come.

My husband was going to be the designated picker-upper at 2:45. He gets off work at 2:00. However, when he found out that he wouldn't be needed until November, he enrolled in a course that he has to take for work that will be over by that time.

It's just kind of a mess.

I'm really hoping that the family wants to pick up their son early. He probably will have to get to PT.

Based on everyone's input, we are going to offer them money to do the morning drive at which point the payment will stop in November when the carpool resumes normal operations. We will also offer to pay no cash but to pick him up at around 3:15 everyday.

I guess since you are over a barrel, I would do everything in my power to keep the carpool alive even if it means extra trips to pick up kids, money or whatever.

Once your DH is done with his class then things will ease up. It is only temporary.

Next yr, I am sure he is driving, right?

 

[Christine]

Next yr, I am sure he is driving, right?

Yes, he is. He actually gets his license in March. While he is doing a GREAT job driving, I was going to keep him in a carpool through this school year, have him get even more practice in the summer, and then have him drive next year.

If things get too difficult, I can have him start driving to school on March 22nd (but I probably won't).

 

[golfgal]

The fall sports that my son and her daughter are in will last until mid-November so this arrangement (if we decide on it) will go until then. My friend/neighbor and I are in a carpool leaving work at 2:30. If we were to pick the boy up, we would just both go and get him rather than go to our respective homes, get into another car, make another drive to the school. So there would be no switching off.

Both of our kids get out of their activities at different times. My son between 4:45 and 5:00, her daughter around 5:45. At 5:00 the study hall closes so my son can't go into the school and sit and wait for the later parent to come.

My husband was going to be the designated picker-upper at 2:45. He gets off work at 2:00. However, when he found out that he wouldn't be needed until November, he enrolled in a course that he has to take for work that will be over by that time.

It's just kind of a mess.

I'm really hoping that the family wants to pick up their son early. He probably will have to get to PT.

Based on everyone's input, we are going to offer them money to do the morning drive at which point the payment will stop in November when the carpool resumes normal operations. We will also offer to pay no cash but to pick him up at around 3:15 everyday.

Since you ride home together pick the boy up on your way home and then swtich off picking up the other two when her DD gets out. Does he shower and change after school? If so, by the time he is done with that it will be almost 5:45 anyway. You could also have the kids ask around school and see if there is anyone else they can carpool with too. Even if your son doesn't change, etc. can't he just walk over to the field your DD is at and work on homework for an hour?

 

[scrapquitler]

Yes, he can but not sure he wants to stay from 2:30 to 5:00 p.m. That will be his decision I suppose.

Well I think sometimes they don't get to make a decision, sometimes it is just the way it is and they have to live with circumstances....in other words, too bad kid, the ride is going to be at 5:00. Stay in the study hall until then or figure out something else.

Sometimes kids have to deal with inconvenience.

 

[Christine]

Well I think sometimes they don't get to make a decision, sometimes it is just the way it is and they have to live with circumstances....in other words, too bad kid, the ride is going to be at 5:00. Stay in the study hall until then or figure out something else.

Sometimes kids have to deal with inconvenience.

True, but his parents might not want him there either. I know that my son does his homework better when he is at home and has all his resources/study aids with him. I'm not sure I'd be crazy about my son sitting at the school EVERY night until 5:00 p.m. They have so much work. I wouldn't mind a few nights but not every night . But that's something they will need to decide on.

 

[XYSRUS]

School's the best place to do homework...in our case...library, quiet halls, netbook,...and all the time in the world with no distractions! I'm mean. I agree... my kids wait on me, not the other way around!

 

[crashbb]

What about a compromise where he stays late 2/3 nights (or his parents take him to physio) and you pick him up at 2:45pm (or whatever) the other 2/3 nights? That way neither person (kid or parents) is solely dealing with the inconvenience.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I think sometimes they don't get to make a decision, sometimes it is just the way it is and they have to live with circumstances....in other words, too bad kid, the ride is going to be at 5:00. Stay in the study hall until then or figure out something else.

Sometimes kids have to deal with inconvenience.

Yea well she runs the risk of the parent bailing on the carpool. Honestly if my kid had an injury, I would not want them sitting in study hall everyday after school.

I would rather pick the kid up then have her bail.