School application dilemma - What would you do?

[Lisash]

I have to submit my DS's application for senior school by the end of the month and don't know what to do. Basically our catchment area school is very good but DS doesn't want to go there as his 'best' friends are all applying to go to another school a good few miles away from where we live. This other school has an equally good reputation but our application to go there could get turned down and I have several reservations about the distance as it means DH & I committing to take him as otherwise he will have to leave home at 7.45am to get the only bus at 8am for a 40 minute journey. He will have to get the bus home as we are generally both at work and I am worried what happens if we get really bad weather or he misses the bus as it is much too far to walk. Our catchment area school is a 10 minute walk away and he does know a number of children who will be going there albeit not his 'best' friends. I have tried talking to him but he is adamant this is where he wants to go .... what would you do

 

[Lizzy Lemon]

If I was in your situation I would encourage him to go to the local school. Kids soon make new friends and at the end of the day I don't think he'd like having to leave the house so early to get to school when he could crawl out of bed at the last minute to get to school. I know from experience that most teenagers stay in bed till the last possible minute!

 

[mandymouse]

All my DD's best friends went to other schools, but we were adamant that she would go to our local school (which is about 15 mins away). She wasn't too impressed when she first started, but within days she had a whole new set of friends (who she has stuck with for 5 years now) and she still keeps in touch with her old friends and sees them every week.

Sorry, I know I wasn't very helpful, but I just wanted you to know that it worked out well for her

 

[CustardTart]

Sorry if this sounds heartless but I'd arrange for him to go to the local school and tell him they had no places at the other school. He can still be friends with the boys outside school plus the journey to school will be so much easier, I'm sure he'll appreciate that in the long run.

Some years ago I made the mistake of changing relocation plans due to my DD's wishes to stay with her friends - six months later she hardly spoke to them as she mixed with a new crowd so it absolutely made no difference...

 

[natalielongstaff]

i would send him to the local school as well.....as other people have said i bet he will soon make new friends

 

[pokemon_master]

Although I am no parent, in my opinion I'd just go and explain to him that it is impossible to him to go to the other school without having to go out of your way to get him there. He should understand; the thought of having to catch a bus may calm him down a bit.

You can also mention to him that he can catch up with his friends outside of school, and will also make new friends.

 

[jen_uk]

I would send him to the local school, he will soon make new friends. I think if he went to the other one once he had to get an early bus on a cold wet morning he would soon wish he had gone to the local school!

 

[Dimplenose]

I had same dilemma and we chose the local school over being with his friends. With both of us working it is such a relief to know that he can get to and from school on his own. It also means that he can join in any after school activities without worrying about transport. And remember there's no guarantee that he'll be put into the same class as his friends even if they are at the same school. It took a while for our DS to settle (about a term and a half) but he's now in year 11 and intends to stay on at this school for 6th form. (His choice this time not ours!)

Libby

 

[wicket2005]

I would have to agree with everyone and say make him go to the local school. He will make new friends. I would not fancy one of my sons having to have a 40 minute bus journey to school and you know that if there is one whiff of bad weather it will takes ages or the bus will be cancelled.

 

[Cyrano]

Sorry can't offer any advice, but hope it works out

 

[AnitaCB]

I would encourage him going to the local school. If the buses are anything like they are where we live they either don't turn up or are always late. Senior schools are strict on time keeping so it could cause a problem. He will probably make lots of new friends and there's no reason why he can't see the old ones in the evenings and weekends - after homework of course!!

We're in the same situation as you at the moment - Sophie's application has to be in by the 20th and she's set her heart on the local grammar so now we have all the stress of hoping she'll pass the 11+ and not putting too much pressure on her.

Let's hope we both end up with the outcomes we want!

 

[cheryl.UK]

Basically the only issue behind your decision is 'Is there a chance he won't be successful?' If there is a chance he won't be successful in his application out of catchment...you may have a problem In our area, if you aren't successful in your first choice, the likelihood is that you won't get your second choice either ( because it will be full of kids who had it as their first choice) You are therefore at the mercy of the LEA and where they place you which could be miles away and at an awful school..

My advice is....put the school you'd be happiest at as your first coice but be prepareed the compromise

 

[TracyK]

Hi Lisa

This is a difficult one. I travelled 45 mins to school each day when we had a school on our doorstep. There were pros and cons to this but I never really saw the travelling as a problem. The social side was more of a problem as it was difficult to go to friends houses after school because then I missed the school bus and had to rely on public transport to get home, my mum and dad both worked.

There are many things to be considered. Why have all his friends chosen the other school? Does it have a particularly good reputation? If they live out of the catchment area then there's the possibility that they won't get in anyway.

I think if both schools are on a par then I would tend to say go for the local school and I'm sure he'll soon settle and make new friends.

Good luck

Tracy

 

[Lisash]

Thanks for all the advice it has really helped. I think it will be the local school I choose. As all of you has said he will soon make new friends. Now I just have to decide whether I tell him now or leave it till the offers come out in March

 

[jns]

we were in the same dilemma
DS went to the school along with his friends not the local one which I would have liked him to go too

and this year he himself has changesd to the local school

The big different I see just after a month is
he is getting more involed with the school
it is nearer to us , which means he is getting involed in things after school
which he did not as he had to get the bus home
it is a smaller school too and he seems to be a lot happiers
which to me is the most important thing


good luck
show him this thread
it might help him decide

 

[vicky1bfc]

Looks like i'm the odd one out but, i would let him go to the school he wants to go too.The reason why are, that he's at an age where he is capeable to make his own mind up and secondly there will be nothing worse for you or him then sending him somewhere he doesn't want to go. As long as he fully understands that he will have to get the bus and you won't be able to pick him up at the drop of the hat i don't see the problem with it.

My DD has already decided she want's to go to a school a good 30 min drive away, instead of the only one over here that's at the most a 10 min walk.Yes i'm hoping she changes her mind in the next 3 years but if she doesn't she will go where she want's.

 

[Queenie]

I went to a school that was a 30 min bus ride on public transport away from me. I never had any problems with being late or with missing out on after school activities (of course this was a bus route with buses every 10 mins until the wee hours as it serviced Manchester city center, I have no idea what your situation is.) If you're similar then don't panic too much about the public transport aspect. I'd still probably pick the local school if I were in your situation though!!

 

[ely3857]

From a personal perspective, I begged to be allowed to go to the same school as my friends and eventually got my way, exactly one term in I asked for a transfer to the closer, smaller school that I had originally been attached to. The school I begged to go to had 8 classes per year with two rotating break & lunch times so I never saw my friends anyway.



Jodie

 

[maggs]

If both schools are of an equal educational value, I would definitely stick to the local school. I think everyone has to be involved in this equation and not just your ds. It should be explained to him what the logistics of choosing the other school are going to be and hopefully that will make an impression.
You as parents matter in this decision too. Another thing to remember (and this I think is very valid) is that the friends your child makes in primary school are often not the friends that he keeps through 5-7 years of secondary school. I have four children and not one of them is still friends with their primary school friends. He will split from his friends in any case if he goes to the other school so why choose the more inaccessable option?

Maggs