School Absences & Doctors excuses

[ckay87]

I don't know if I'm venting, looking for others who had similar situations, or just asking for flames, but here's the story.

The first part of the school year youngest DS, in 6th grade, missed I think about 10 days of school due to different things...1 bout of strep throat, one nasty cold, and then he had a few mornings where he had diarreah or even a puke or 2, for which I refuse to send him to school (tweaked his pm/am diet and that worked itself out. We all have sensitive stomachs in the fam) Anyway, the days added up.

So now the school is asking for a doctors excuse for any absences from here on. Their letter stated that a parent's excuse blank will no longer suffice. Now, I'm a little offended. I know that it's a generic rule they have, but what the heck? Like now my own judgement isn't good enough? Do those teachers for real want a puking, feverish kid in their classroom?

So I tend to be a rule follower, didn't question it. Now here we are and kiddo has a bad cold this morning. You know the kind where you have a low fever, sore throat and just all over feel bad? I just would not normally take him to the doctor for this - it's just a virus and there is nothing a doctor could/should do for it. Taking him in is a waste of our time and money and it takes up an appointment that another really sick person could use. Gave him cold medicine and sent him to school but feel bad about it.

I feel like having a talk with the principle...a nice talk....just so he knows we are not slacker parents who are just letting the kid skip out whenever he wants. And we are not....you know how you can see it in the kids eyes, that glossy look, when they are feeling really lousy? Yea, he felt really lousy this morning.

I don't know, I guess I'm just venting, but there are times that I do sincerely understand why people homeschool.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

My DD's school is strict this way also. I have a good relationship with her Dr. I just call and they fax the school. Do you think you Dr. would do that for you? On the positive side at least the school cares enough to know who is there and who is not.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Back in Texas, note for everything, very strict.

We are back in MO, eh, parent note is fine. My 6th grader has been missing school as well.

I am prepared to back it up if they ask.

Right now she is suffering from a balance issue. I am sending her because she can't afford to miss more school. On the flipside I am working on getting her a ped. to sort this out.

 

[JimmyPicker]

Our school district does this. More than X amount of absences, a doctors note is required.

My son is four years old. He's been sick a number of times. They've even called me twice to come pick him up. I've been given notice that docs notes are required now.

Uh, do you really think my 4 year old is playing hooky? Or maybe they think I'm too lazy to get up in the morning and get him off to school? Since my 9 year old has only missed 1 day all year, they know that isn't the case either.

 

[ckay87]

Our school district does this. More than X amount of absences, a doctors note is required.

My son is four years old. He's been sick a number of times. They've even called me twice to come pick him up. I've been given notice that docs notes are required now.

Uh, do you really think my 4 year old is playing hooky? Or maybe they think I'm too lazy to get up in the morning and get him off to school? Since my 9 year old has only missed 1 day all year, they know that isn't the case either.

Exactly...they KNOW your 4 year old isn't playing hooky and therefore they are questioning YOUR judgement.

I just feel like if they are really concerned with the nature of a kid's absences, it would be more appropriate to first sit down with the parents and conference about it before imposing blanket rules that can be quite difficult to follow.

 

[Hillbeans]

I completely understand your frustration but there (may) be a lot of parents out there who just let their kids stay home from school because they can't be bothered.

I think that 10 absences is a lot to have taken with 4 months left to go and can certainly understand why they would need documentation - that's 2 whole weeks of school.

 

[luvmy3]

They most likely consider 10 absences excessive considering the school year is not over yet. We are not allowed 10 unexcused absences, so I assume it is your distrcit's policy to ensure any further absences can REALLY be excused. I wouldn't take it personally.

 

[Mermaid02]

What do they want the doc's note to say?? They have no right to ask you specifics- this is protected under the Health Information Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). I would tell them that I would be happy to take my child to the doctor for every illness- if they are willing to pay for the office visit.

 

[ols386]

I can understand what you are saying. I would do just what you said. Have a "nice" talk with the principal/teacher, so that they understand your son's situation. Not sure if a nice talk will make a difference or not, but it's worth a try. Or if that doesn't work, do what a pp suggested...ask your family doctor if they will fax a note to the school without your having to take your son to a doctor each and every time. Especially if it's a virus, and a trip to the doctor's office isn't really necessary. Good luck.

 

[KATHINOWA]

Can you get a doc's note for the previous absences (like the strep)? That would cut you a little slack for those other days where they shouldn't be in school but they don't need to see a doctor.

My DD has missed a bit of school this year too--just like yours with strep, virus, cold, stomach, etc.

I don't know what our school policy is about doc's notes. Right now a parent's note suffices but I think she's been out about 10 days.

 

[tasha99]

10 sounds like a lot, but if your kid gets really sick more than once, it's easy to get to. Before DD had her tonsils out, she missed that amount due to strep in just one term.

 

[JimmyPicker]

I completely understand your frustration but there (may) be a lot of parents out there who just let their kids stay home from school because they can't be bothered.

I think that 10 absences is a lot to have taken with 4 months left to go and can certainly understand why they would need documentation - that's 2 whole weeks of school.

They most likely consider 10 absences excessive considering the school year is not over yet. We are not allowed 10 unexcused absences, so I assume it is your distrcit's policy to ensure any further absences can REALLY be excused. I wouldn't take it personally.

I totally get WHY they need it. I know there are kids out there that fake all the time, or play hooky, and it just can't be allowed.

I just think in some instances, they should be able to see that there's more to the story.

For example, my kid is 4, he's not really going to be doing anything other than be with me or be at school.

The school called up, he was sick, and he missed 2 days after that. They knew he was sick because they sent him home.

The other time, he had missed three days, and I finally thought he was better. NO more fever, no more throwing up, so I sent him to school. The school nurse called, told me that he was in her office waiting for her, he'd thrown up on the bus. So again, those three days (or four really, I guess), they absolutely knew he was ill.

The guidance counselor told me the other day that they literally had half the children out one day last week. HALF! This was not an exaggeration, she gave me the exact number, like 53% of the kids did not come that day.

They know they have stuff floating around the school.

 

[EthansMom]

I don't think that this policy is aimed directly at you, personally, OP. In all likelihood, there are a few bad parents out there that have ruined things for everyone.

I don't think that requiring a doctor's note beyond the first 10 sick days is an outrageous requirement. Of course, I wouldn't be too happy if if applied to me, either, but I'd understand where it came from.

My kids have asthma and miss quite a bit of school for illness. In our house, we follow the 24 hour rule. I don't keep them out of school for a regular cold but will keep them home if the coughing is so bad it is keeping them up at night... so basically any cold so bad that I'm taking my kids to the doctor's office for a lung check, anyways. Honestly, if I kept my kids home every time they had a cold, I might as well homeschool them all winter long.

 

[merrily]

Our high school is very strict on attendance. If it is not something I would normally take my son to the doctor for (bad cold, virus etc) and is not vomitting then he will go to school and then get dismissed by the nurse after the first hour or so. I know it's terrible to send him to school when he is sick but without a drs note for more than one absence you can fail. If you are sent home by the nurse it is excused and if you are out another day or two they are excused as well.

 

[luvmy3]

I totally get WHY they need it. I know there are kids out there that fake all the time, or play hooky, and it just can't be allowed.

I just think in some instances, they should be able to see that there's more to the story.

For example, my kid is 4, he's not really going to be doing anything other than be with me or be at school.

The school called up, he was sick, and he missed 2 days after that. They knew he was sick because they sent him home.

The other time, he had missed three days, and I finally thought he was better. NO more fever, no more throwing up, so I sent him to school. The school nurse called, told me that he was in her office waiting for her, he'd thrown up on the bus. So again, those three days (or four really, I guess), they absolutely knew he was ill.

The guidance counselor told me the other day that they literally had half the children out one day last week. HALF! This was not an exaggeration, she gave me the exact number, like 53% of the kids did not come that day.

They know they have stuff floating around the school.

I'm sure its just your district policy, they can't really make any exceptions even for those who's previous absences have been excused.

 

[Mermaid02]

What if Mom or Dad IS a Doctor???

 

[alldiz]

I would call your Dr. and get a note for every time he was there this year already. That should pipe them down.
Kerri

 

[kinntj]

My DD6 has missed 16 days this term. The first term, she didn't have any missed days.

Lana's teacher said if the office questions it, she'll go in there and back me up. She said there's a difference of keeping a child home, just to keep a child home and them staying home because they are truly sick. My DD only stays home if she has any kind of fever (100 or up) or she's puking. There's other more serious reasons too, but that would require a Dr.'s visit, no question.

She was out a full week in December and a full week in February with some missed in between. On Friday of both those weeks I took her in because her temperature would not stay down. Both times the Dr. did nothing and didn't see any infection and said she just needs time to get better.

She's doing really well in school and I pick up anything that DD has missed when she was away.

We haven't had any troubles or asking for Dr.'s notes yet. I'm crossing my fingers that DD doesn't miss anymore school due to illness. She's missed entirely too much, but it's not mine or DD's fault.

 

[ckay87]

I totally get WHY they need it. I know there are kids out there that fake all the time, or play hooky, and it just can't be allowed.

I just think in some instances, they should be able to see that there's more to the story.

For example, my kid is 4, he's not really going to be doing anything other than be with me or be at school.

The school called up, he was sick, and he missed 2 days after that. They knew he was sick because they sent him home.

The other time, he had missed three days, and I finally thought he was better. NO more fever, no more throwing up, so I sent him to school. The school nurse called, told me that he was in her office waiting for her, he'd thrown up on the bus. So again, those three days (or four really, I guess), they absolutely knew he was ill.

The guidance counselor told me the other day that they literally had half the children out one day last week. HALF! This was not an exaggeration, she gave me the exact number, like 53% of the kids did not come that day.

They know they have stuff floating around the school.

You know the most outrageous thing about your situation? When a kid is that young they get sick A LOT when they first start school. They are now being exposed to all kinds of bugs that they may not have been exposed to before, especially if they were not in day care. I remember those days....when my kids started pre-school, they brought home illnesses that I thought were only grown in government labs! We were all knocking on deaths door for a while there, I swear!

School is a unique situation in that, the kids are all closely crammed in this closed envirnment together day after day. On top of the simple fact that kids are gross. Healthy grown-ups generally don't share virus' as frequently; we typically wash our hands and we're just downright stronger.

 

[yeartolate]

I would also get doctors notes for the strep and whatever else and turn that back in.

Realistically though....10 days is alot for a 6th grader. I can understand their concern. But I also understand your frustration.