Scared & need your thoughts -DD is getting notes

[PRINCESS VIJA]

Wow, I just read this whole thread for the first time... what a horrible situation for your daughter and you guys. I sure hope that the police will light a fire under the priciples but. This is ridiculous. Considering all the weird and horrible things that have happened in schools, I can't believe that the school isn't being more active. It almost seems like it's the mentality of "not in our school". Well it is and glad that you guys are keeping at them to determine what is up. Getting the president of the school board involved will definetly be helpful as well as a mention of possible media attention. Praying that you all remain safe.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Wow, two more post attacking me personally.
That is really helpful in this situation...

I do not mean to sidetrack this thread...
I really don't. But I must respond.

It really concerns me here that a child may be in danger, and some are attacking those of us who are saying "Go immediately to the actual Police Department and sign a complaint" and "Go immediately to the Superintendant and file an official report."

This is not "turning" on the OP
This is sound advice!
(which the OP clearly asked for!!!)

As far as I can tell, the OP had done neither of these until today....
Sounds like she is reading this advice after all...

We are only concerned for the safety of this child.

We are only offering our thoughts
This could be an adult doing this.
It could be anybody.
Just theoretically, it could even be the Principal.

In a case like this, it is imperative to go straight to the top.

I am very sorry, but I have dealt with a few Principals/Directors... And, I would NOT trust them to protect my child. Never. I would be at the Police Station and the Superintendants office immediately.

If you don't agree, then fine. We have different opinions. But it is stupid to sidetrack this thread by attacking those who may have a different opinion and different advice.

 

[Joanna71985]

I just read all the posts today. I am at a loss for words. All I can say is that you, and your family, are in my prayers. Here's and for you. I hope this gets resolved very quickly. And whoever it is doing all that- they need major help.

 

[Disney Doll]

Wow, two more post attacking me personally.
That is really helpful in this situation...

I do not mean to sidetrack this thread...
I really don't. But I must respond.

It really concerns me here that a child may be in danger, and some are attacking those of us who are saying "Go immediately to the actual Police Department and sign a complaint" and "Go immediately to the Superintendant and file an official report."

This is not "turning" on the OP
This is sound advice!
(which the OP clearly asked for!!!)

As far as I can tell, the OP had done neither of these until today....
Sounds like she is reading this advice after all...

We are only concerned for the safety of this child.

We are only offering our thoughts
This could be an adult doing this.
It could be anybody.
Just theoretically, it could even be the Principal.

In a case like this, it is imperative to go straight to the top.

I am very sorry, but I have dealt with a few Principals/Directors... And, I would NOT trust them to protect my child. Never. I would be at the Police Station and the Superintendants office immediately.

If you don't agree, then fine. We have different opinions. But it is stupid to sidetrack this thread by attacking those who may have a different opinion and different advice.

It's also stupid to sidetrack it by attacking the OP , & calling her negligent, but that hasn't stopped some posters from doing it, now has it???

She asked for support, thoughts etc. She didn't ask to be called a negligent parent because some folks don't think she's handling it the way they think she should.

 

[Talking Hands]

They must have their reasons for believing it's a kid doing this and that could be why they aren't pulling out all the stops-"they" being the school and police. I would believe handwriting analysis and fingerprinting could be costly. Maybe they feel since it's a kid, it's not as serious as if it were an adult? I don't know. I do know that it can be and that kids have killed other kids etc. So please don't flame me for saying that. It seems the authorities should be doing more. I don't know why they aren't, but it sounds as if Tantor is on top of the situation.

As for the police/resource officer issue, in an earlier post (way early on) I wrote to go to the police, but I didn't know they had a resource officer in the school. I never thought of that. I'm sure that many others are like me-it's not that I didn't think of the RO as a "real" officer-I just overlooked the possibility that there could be one in the school. I live in a smallish town and we only have them in the high schools and jr highs.

There's also the issue of setting up a hidden camera. How would that affect the privacy rights of the other students etc. I have a special needs child (and am a sped teacher myself), in our state, no one can take pictures of any sped child without parental permission so I don't know how the hidden camera issue would affect that if there are sped kids in the school. Maybe that's why they're reluctant to do that.

We had a child kill anpther child at a middle school near me. There had been clues to what was going to happen both at school and on the internet. Scary. Kids can and do kill kids.

In Miami-Dade County, Fla, school resource officers are police officers. They are fully able to act in any matter that requires a police investigation. Found this out when I had the fake pistol pulled on me.

I would think this video taping would be ok as it is for survellence and not for media porposes. Here we sign a media release for pictures of students but still can take pictures of the kids for display in the classroom or for schedule and PECS.

 

[luvmyfam444]

ok so this may be crazy - but am I the only one that when I read about the note on the other girls sweater the first thing I thought of was maybe the person thought it was Chloe's sweater & put it on the wrong one? That's what I was thinking not that someone else now has been targeted--

 

[gradtchr]

and lots of

 

[Aimeedyan]

What a nightmare... hugs to you and your daughter - I hope your DH can get something done soon.

Hoping to read a good update soon!!

 

[BavarianPrincess]

I am so sorry that this is happening to your daughter. How is she feeling? I will really be thinking of you and your family, and hoping that this situation resolves quickly.

 

[nwdisgal]

According to the Safe Schools Act in Ontario, the police must become involved when there is serious physical threat to a student. The notes with death threats would require their immediate notification. The administration of the school should be well aware of this and I would imagine that the police are now actively involved.

In Ontario, anyone working or volunteering at a school need an up to date police check. Some school boards require fingerprinting for employees but not all.

Since the OP is from Ontario, fingerprints may not be available for everyone that may have passed through the school.

This is a situation that is taken very seriously in Ontario schools. I would imagine that normal protocol is being followed.

Yah, I would think that would be the protocol. That is what you would certainly expect. I know in our elementary school there were a couple of fourth graders were making verbal and written threats to kids. They were boys with known social skills/special needs issues (probably didn't fully understand the implications/ramifications of their words) but regardless, it was taken very, very seriously by the school officials. The police were called in immediately by the school,the kids that were making the threats were dealt with by people who were in position and authority to help them, and the parents whose kids were affected by the threats were alerted and advised of the resolution. Ideally that is how it should work. The school should be taking every possible step to protect the child's safety while they are on school grounds. I am just sorry the OP and her family are having to go through this type of ordeal. I've been in two different states and two completely different schools, since my kids have been enrolled, but yet the policies of the districts and response to threats within the schools were very similiar.

 

[laurie31]

We recieved a very snotty note from the Principal. We have gone there route now my DH is going his. He is calling Principal today to see what she is prepared to do( believe me he will not back down) then the director and the police officer will be contacted. He is also prepared to go to the media with this.
They boast Safe schools but yet ALL the kids in the classroom as scared.

We have a wonderful school it's the principal that is the twit here. By the way other parents have had problems with her so it's not just us.

Will update.

Holy cow!! Your DD gets threatening notes and YOU get a snotty note from the principal???!! : How awful - you'd think they'd be apologizing all over themselves to you that this has happened. My DH would be going to the media too. Way back someone said it would be in the media if it were truly serious- that is not true. Lots of stuff happens every day that would curl your toenails that never makes the TV news or the paper. If you want it in the media, you have to clue them in. I'm not sure what I'd do personally but at least the threat of media attention should speed up the investigation process.

Laurie

 

[TLHB70]

ok so this may be crazy - but am I the only one that when I read about the note on the other girls sweater the first thing I thought of was maybe the person thought it was Chloe's sweater & put it on the wrong one? That's what I was thinking not that someone else now has been targeted--

I thought the same thing at first. I figured it must have been written to Chloe but put on the other girls' sleeve since she was near Chloe. However, now I read that OP said that other children are targeted. How awful!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tantor, will the parent(s) of the other girl, or any other targeted students, help you? Surely they must be feeling scared now, too. Maybe with the new parents working with you, the authorities will understand the urgency here.

Again, you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!!!!!!!!!

 

[MrsPete]

at least the threat of media attention should speed up the investigation process

I don't think you want the media involved. Their participation often brings out the copycats and accelerates the situation. (Ask any high school teacher: If you have a bomb threat, you can be sure you'll have three more within the week.)

The media is a rabid animal that feeds upon negativity; it is not always our friend.

 

[MrsPete]

Tantor, will the parent(s) of the other girl, or any other targeted students, help you? Surely they must be feeling scared now, too. Maybe with the new parents working with you, the authorities will understand the urgency here.

Banding together with the other family is a good idea.

I agree with someone else, however, that in a strange way it's comforting to know that another child has been targeted as well. That seems to rule out the idea that it's something personal against you/your child.

 

[Lewski709]

This whole thread makes my tummy turn. This kinda thing happening to those poor little, innocent girls and then the principal...DISGUSTING. I'm so sorry Tantor.

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

I don't think you want the media involved. Their participation often brings out the copycats and accelerates the situation. (Ask any high school teacher: If you have a bomb threat, you can be sure you'll have three more within the week.)

The media is a rabid animal that feeds upon negativity; it is not always our friend.

Excellent point!!

 

[laurie31]

I don't think you want the media involved. Their participation often brings out the copycats and accelerates the situation. (Ask any high school teacher: If you have a bomb threat, you can be sure you'll have three more within the week.)

The media is a rabid animal that feeds upon negativity; it is not always our friend.

yeah...that's why I said I didn't know what I'd do. I mean, I can sit here at my computer and THINK about what I'd do if it happened to my DD but you never know until it does happen to you what you really would do.

I also (from my armchair quarterback position) think I would not want the media involved, but I wouldn't mind THREATENING to tell them if I thought it would make the principal take things more seriously.

I fear media attention would make *my* dd very upset -even more that she would be already. Obviously I have no clue how the OP's dd would feel about it. However, again, there's no way to know what I'd really do. It's a fine line to walk, trying to be assertive for your child without being perceived as aggressive by the people you're trying to get help from.

Laurie

 

[Linnie The Pooh]

This whole thread made me think (oh no!)

I remember when I was in 4th grade and a kid wrote a nasty note on the inside of my desk. Dating myself here, but it was a desk where the chair and seat are hooked together and the top of the desk lid lifts up. I opened my lid and saw what they wrote. I can't even remember what it was now, but I remember how devastated I was. I thought the other kids liked me and I was really upset. I told the teacher who did nothing but I wanted finger prints taken and the culprit nabbed!

It is very frightening to be a kid and be have someone intimidate you that way. I feel for your DD. Hugs to you and your family!!

 

[D L and K's Mom]

I am hoping to read that you have found out who is doing this to your daughter. I have not read all the pages so maybe this has already been asked but has anyone talked to the class? Has the Police Officer or Teacher talked to the class and explained how serious this really is? Have they asked if anyone knows who is doing this? Has the class been given the opportunity to confess or tell who it is anonomously? Can the children be asked one by one with their parents maybe by the police officer or the teacher? Can they all be called in one at t time at night or after school hours with thier parents? I think maybe someone would be ready to confess or might "Crack" under the questions. I dont mean yell and scream, just ask questions. I know if I was a parent I wouldnt have a problem with this, in fact I would feel safer. Have the other parents been notified? I just dont see how a 9 year old could keep this secret themselves. I think another student, sibling, parent may know something but not even know that they know. Do parents know what is going on??
I think you are handling it wonderfully. You did everything in the proper order and now you are "Taking it into your own hands" Good for you! I am hoping that I will read that this is all resolved soon. I Thank God that you got teh Police involved as this is pretty horrible. Hugs to you and your family. I think I would get my daughter a whistle and have her keep it with her at all times just in case, I woul dhate to make her more nervous but it would help me feel better......

 

[LisaR]

I don't think you want the media involved. Their participation often brings out the copycats and accelerates the situation. (Ask any high school teacher: If you have a bomb threat, you can be sure you'll have three more within the week.)

The media is a rabid animal that feeds upon negativity; it is not always our friend.

I disagree......well, not about the part of the media being rabid animals.

If this was a high school situation, I would agree with you about the copy cats. However, this is taking place in grade school. 99.9% of the students there probably do not have it in them to do what that one child is doing (assuming a child is doing this). If the school isn't being cooperative I wouldn't hesitate to use the media. This may be the one time that you would want them to act like rabid animals. i am betting it would make the school cooperate a little more.

Lisa