Scared kids on rides!

[jenpace]

Though I try my best to be respectful of the people around me, I am not parenting my child in a way to make your life easier. If I'm in the grocery store and my 2 year old is having a tantrum because I won't let him have a lollipop, I'm not leaving because the person next to me doesn't want to hear him cry.

A child crying because he/she didn't get some candy is really not the same thing as one who is being forced onto a ride that they're afraid of at DL. There are plenty of instances where children will fuss and cry if they don't get their way. What this discussion is about specifically is forcing frightened kids to go on rides that they're so scared of that they're crying and pleading with their parents to not have to do it.

And yes, I think that it's important to have consideration for everyone else in line when deciding to put a child through that.

 

[kiwitravel]

I have seen plenty of crying children in lines, crying because they are scared to go on the ride. It does not worry me as I see it is all about life... These kids were not being forced... I didn't see parents carrying kicking and screaming kids onto ride, it is all about encouraging your children to face their fears... Any parent who panders to their childrens fears are doing their children no favours...

Encouraging a crying child to do a ride and face their fear is good parenting, physically forcing a child who is clearly beyond reasoning is poor parenting.

 

[NavyDad01]

i have seen plenty of crying children in lines, crying because they are scared to go on the ride. It does not worry me as i see it is all about life... These kids were not being forced... I didn't see parents carrying kicking and screaming kids onto ride, it is all about encouraging your children to face their fears... Any parent who panders to their childrens fears are doing their children no favours...

Encouraging a crying child to do a ride and face their fear is good parenting, physically forcing a child who is clearly beyond reasoning is poor parenting.

this!

 

[Hummingbird15]

I agree! (I am a teacher as well )

I knew you were a kindred spirit.

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

A child crying because he/she didn't get some candy is really not the same thing as one who is being forced onto a ride that they're afraid of at DL. There are plenty of instances where children will fuss and cry if they don't get their way. What this discussion is about specifically is forcing frightened kids to go on rides that they're so scared of that they're crying and pleading with their parents to not have to do it.

And yes, I think that it's important to have consideration for everyone else in line when deciding to put a child through that.

I'm just saying don't judge that parent because you don't know what their situation is. You don't know why the child is actually crying, if they've been on the ride and loved it but want to go get a churro NOW so they don't want to ride, etc. A crying child in line that says they don't want to ride doesn't necessarily mean they are being forced to ride something they are scared of.

I have seen plenty of crying children in lines, crying because they are scared to go on the ride. It does not worry me as I see it is all about life... These kids were not being forced... I didn't see parents carrying kicking and screaming kids onto ride, it is all about encouraging your children to face their fears... Any parent who panders to their childrens fears are doing their children no favours...

Encouraging a crying child to do a ride and face their fear is good parenting, physically forcing a child who is clearly beyond reasoning is poor parenting.

Exactly! And unless you are their parent, you really can't say WHY they are crying. I've had situations where a child has been crying because they didn't get to meet a character or wanted a mickey balloon or wanted an ice cream. I find it amazing people feel the need to judge other parents.

 

[Mama Who]

Fair enough but you would agree this is likely more the exception than the rule... Usually the kids come off wanting more... Its never as scary as they have built it up to in their minds...

I wouldn't. It took me nearly 20 years to get over a Space Mountain trauma when I was 7.

 

[Mama Who]

Though I try my best to be respectful of the people around me, I am not parenting my child in a way to make your life easier. If I'm in the grocery store and my 2 year old is having a tantrum because I won't let him have a lollipop, I'm not leaving because the person next to me doesn't want to hear him cry..

I'm sorry, how do "respectful" and making others listen to your kid tantrum go together?

If my child is terrified of a ride to the point of ruining it for those around us it's my job as a parent and a courteous person to take my child out. No, "because I think it's good for him" is not a reason to subject others to a screaming fit. That's the height of bad manners.

 

[kiwitravel]

I wouldn't. It took me nearly 20 years to get over a Space Mountain trauma when I was 7.

My only point was that this is more the exception than the rule... Every child is different and only the parents can judge the childs resistance.... If I was to have caved in every time my kids cried in public then that would be reinforcing that behaviour and they would simply do it more... having said that I think physical trantums are another matter, thankfully my children did not have those so it's hard for me to judge how I would have reacted...

 

[Mama Who]

My only point was that this is more the exception than the rule... Every child is different and only the parents can judge the childs resistance.... If I was to have caved in every time my kids cried in public then that would be reinforcing that behaviour and they would simply do it more... having said that I think physical trantums are another matter, thankfully my children did not have those so it's hard for me to judge how I would have reacted...

Well, I don't have statistical data on which is the exception, so we may just have to each think the other is the outlier. I'm certainly not advocating caving every time a child cries in public but there is a big gap between that and forcing them onto scary rides.

Honestly, I don't see why "no, I don't want to" isn't enough reason to skip a ride that scares a person. I won't ride Screamin' with DH. Why? It scares me. That's enough for him. He'd rather have company but he sees no reason to bully me about it. I don't know of a ride that's worth upsetting someone I love that much. DS has to eat his peas, clean his room and wash his hair whether he wants to or not. Riding the Matterhorn? Not so much.

Although here's my brag- after FIVE YEARS of psyching myself up, I rode Tower of Terror last week and did not die, throw up or wet myself. TWICE. I'm very proud of that- although a tiny bit less since I was in line behind a five year old who'd just done the same thing.

 

[kiwitravel]

Well, I don't have statistical data on which is the exception, so we may just have to each think the other is the outlier. I'm certainly not advocating caving every time a child cries in public but there is a big gap between that and forcing them onto scary rides.

Honestly, I don't see why "no, I don't want to" isn't enough reason to skip a ride that scares a person. I won't ride Screamin' with DH. Why? It scares me. That's enough for him. He'd rather have company but he sees no reason to bully me about it. I don't know of a ride that's worth upsetting someone I love that much. DS has to eat his peas, clean his room and wash his hair whether he wants to or not. Riding the Matterhorn? Not so much.

Although here's my brag- after FIVE YEARS of psyching myself up, I rode Tower of Terror last week and did not die, throw up or wet myself. TWICE. I'm very proud of that- although a tiny bit less since I was in line behind a five year old who'd just done the same thing.

I get what you are saying.... For me it was my son (9 at the time) who decided he wasn't going to ride any coasters, splash etc because he was scared... I know my son and know it was all in his head and so we "forced" him onto Splash (Talk about the deep end!), he cried in the line (but no tantrum) but after he said it wasn't as bad as he thought... He rode every ride that trip including ones my wife wouldn't (ToT)... To this day he thanks us for making him ride splash that day, his trip would have been very different otherwise.... HOWEVER every child is different and only the parent knows, so please don't judge us... My daughter a couple of times talked to crying kids in the queue talking up the ride and it really seemed to help, somehow a stranger confirming the parents helped..

 

[Angel Ariel]

OK..normally I stay out of threads like this because I don't have kids yet, and I'm well versed in the "you can't say anything because you don't have kids" concept.

My question..and it is a question, not a judgment...is this: Is it acceptable to kick and scream and have a major temper-tantrum in a restaurant? (Restaurant = public place, where the other patrons are pretty much "held captive" in the same area with you, just as they are in a queue at Disney).

If it is acceptable, why? Honestly, I can't fathom that. My parents never allowed my brother or I to act like that in public, they removed us immediately, whether it was a restaurant, the grocery store, wherever. My brother and SIL do not allow it with their 2 children either...so it's truly something I don't understand.

If it's not acceptable in a restaurant, then why would it be at Disney? Because of how much it cost to go to Disney? Because of the infrequency of going to Disney? Even if you know they will enjoy the ride in the end...isn't that kind of rewarding the meltdown? Why not leave and try to enjoy the ride later at a time the child isn't melting down?

*Note: I understand there are special needs exceptions, children with autism, etc. These are not the children I'm referring to. I realize as a fellow guest I would have no way of knowing that either way, and I'm not claiming I would...but my questions are centered around children who do not have special needs.*

Like I said..no judgments here, just trying to understand the POV that is opposite of what I grew up with and what I see implemented with my family...

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

OK..normally I stay out of threads like this because I don't have kids yet, and I'm well versed in the "you can't say anything because you don't have kids" concept.

My question..and it is a question, not a judgment...is this: Is it acceptable to kick and scream and have a major temper-tantrum in a restaurant? (Restaurant = public place, where the other patrons are pretty much "held captive" in the same area with you, just as they are in a queue at Disney).

If it is acceptable, why? Honestly, I can't fathom that. My parents never allowed my brother or I to act like that in public, they removed us immediately, whether it was a restaurant, the grocery store, wherever. My brother and SIL do not allow it with their 2 children either...so it's truly something I don't understand.

If it's not acceptable in a restaurant, then why would it be at Disney? Because of how much it cost to go to Disney? Because of the infrequency of going to Disney? Even if you know they will enjoy the ride in the end...isn't that kind of rewarding the meltdown? Why not leave and try to enjoy the ride later at a time the child isn't melting down?

No its not acceptable and its one reason I don't get why parents would allow that behavior in line. I have taught me kids techniques to call themselves when they get worked up (for both valid and non-valid reasons) and expect them to use them. We explain to them we wouldn't put them on a ride that we didn't think they could handle, and they are getting themselves worked up for no reason. If they honestly don't like it we won't make them try again that trip, but next trip we will tell them they need to try again because they are "bigger now". I equate it to a child afraid of a monster under their bed, are you going to let them sleep in your room forever or make them face their fears and see that there fears aren't reality?

 

[kiwitravel]

My question..and it is a question, not a judgment...is this: Is it acceptable to kick and scream and have a major temper-tantrum in a restaurant? (Restaurant = public place, where the other patrons are pretty much "held captive" in the same area with you, just as they are in a queue at Disney).

Big difference between a screaming and kicking child and one that is crying... I feel tantrums are a whole other ball of wax that needs to be handled differently regardless of where they are... So if a children is only crying (not loudly or wailing) then what is your opinion on restaurant ejection?

 

[Angel Ariel]

I have taught me kids techniques to call themselves when they get worked up (for both valid and non-valid reasons) and expect them to use them. We explain to them we wouldn't put them on a ride that we didn't think they could handle, and they are getting themselves worked up for no reason. If they honestly don't like it we won't make them try again that trip, but next trip we will tell them they need to try again because they are "bigger now". I equate it to a child afraid of a monster under their bed, are you going to let them sleep in your room forever or make them face their fears and see that there fears aren't reality?

I understand the coaxing/encouraging a child to face their fears...but what if they don't calm down in line (a la what the OP in this thread is talking about?) If they start to have a major tantrum, but calm down in line I do understand staying in line and having them try it, even if they may be afraid..

but when they're having a major tantrum as the OP described, and NOT calming down, why is it OK to keep that child in line and ruin the experience for all the other guests?

I'm specifically referring to the situation the OP recounted, since many posts seem to defend the parent's decision to keep the child in line even though by the account she was:

The mom was practically dragging her and the farther we went the worse the girl got. Once inside where you are almost getting on the girl was now screaming at the top of her lungs and hysterical.

 

[Angel Ariel]

Big difference between a screaming and kicking child and one that is crying... I feel tantrums are a whole other ball of wax that needs to be handled differently regardless of where they are... So if a children is only crying (not loudly or wailing) then what is your opinion on restaurant ejection?

I agree that they are two totally different things. The OP's account seemed, to me, like a major tantrum not just crying. "practically dragging" and "screaming hyserically" are not just crying...

Many people seemed to come down on the OP for having the opinion that a tantrum in line was inconsiderate to other guests...I'm trying to understand why. I'm not really discussing hypotheticals, just trying to understand the reaction to this particular account that the OP gave.

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

I understand the coaxing/encouraging a child to face their fears...but what if they don't calm down in line (a la what the OP in this thread is talking about?) If they start to have a major tantrum, but calm down in line I do understand staying in line and having them try it, even if they may be afraid..

but when they're having a major tantrum as the OP described, and NOT calming down, why is it OK to keep that child in line and ruin the experience for all the other guests?

I'm specifically referring to the situation the OP recounted, since many posts seem to defend the parent's decision to keep the child in line even though by the account she was:

I had to go back and read the original post since this thread is nearly 3 months old....Honestly, my kids would be in trouble for acting that way at home or in public. If they DID act that way, I'd probably take them out of line and there would be consequences for the misbehavior.

 

[kiwitravel]

I think on the topic of tantrums in line then we are all on the same page (with a few exceptions)... However there are some who feel that a child scared to do the ride and a few tears is reason enough to pull them from the line even though as a parent you know its all in their head...

 

[minniecarousel]

While not terrified, there was a family behind us in line for Toy Story Mania Madness and the young boy wasn't sure he wanted to go on it. I try not to butt in, but finally I turned around and told him that it was my favorite ride and that I don't go on scary or spinny rides.

Not sure - but I think he ended up going!

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

I think on the topic of tantrums in line then we are all on the same page (with a few exceptions)... However there are some who feel that a child scared to do the ride and a few tears is reason enough to pull them from the line even though as a parent you know its all in their head...

And I totally respect their decision, its the ones that judge parents for not doing the same thing that annoys me.

 

[kiwitravel]

And I totally respect their decision, its the ones that judge parents for not doing the same thing that annoys me.