Scared kids on rides!

[kiwitravel]

Like everything in this world it is a question of degrees...

On our second family trip my son who was 9 didn't want to ride splash as it had scared him 2 years earlier... I knew he had to conquor that fear as he was missing out on a number of other roller coaster rides because of those fears... And I also knew it was the thought of the ride rather than the ride itself...

We said we wouldn't go to DL unless he agreed to ride Splash just once..

He agreed and we held him to that agreement... Now he wasn't screaming or throwing a tantrum but he really really didn't want to go and that was obvious to all around us but we stuck to our guns and he rode it... At the end of the ride he admitted it wasn't as bad as he remembered and agreed to try matahorn, which lead to BTMRR and then space and finally Cal Scream... He later thanked us for forcing him to ride splash as it became his favourite ride...

All I am saying is that it isn't always in the child's best interests to pander to their fears, that doesn't mean its right to drag a kicking and screaming child onto a ride but just maybe an upset crying child can be encouraged to do the ride a little more than perhaps you are comfortable with for the good of the child... More often than not they will likely thank you later so think about that as you are doing it...

HOWEVER only the parent best knows their child so as long as the forcing isn't extreme then yes it is better to MYOB or as my teenage daughter did the last trip when we found ourselves the bystander we added our own encouragement... Even my now 14yo son was quick to add his own experience and it seemed to help as the child rode and looked happy at the end of the ride...

 

[Kittyskyfish]

Children need some level of coaching in order to overcome fears. Often, young children over-focus on the scary aspects of the ride, which usually is the unknown, and they read their emotional reactions as indicators of reality. If they ruminate on the scary parts, they can't see that there are reasons it might be fun for them. One trick to lessen fears is to let the child discover evidence that the ride could be fun!

For example, let the child take a break, eat a sweet treat, and watch children coming OFF of a ride. Don't even let on that you're planning on going on the ride, that just heightens nervousness and impairs judgment. Just take a break and people watch together. Especially point out the ones that are your child's age or younger who are overjoyed and begging to go on again. Talk to your nervous child and ask how the other kids are feeling as they exit the ride. Let your child come up with the answers. This lesson in monitoring for non-threatening cues can provide a bit of extra courage needed to face new challenges.

 

[DahliaRW]

I will say, though, I have a friend whose parents forced her to ride SM when she was a child even though she was terrified. She HATED it and as a consequence is afraid of roller coasters to this day...

 

[kiwitravel]

I will say, though, I have a friend whose parents forced her to ride SM when she was a child even though she was terrified. She HATED it and as a consequence is afraid of roller coasters to this day...

Fair enough but you would agree this is likely more the exception than the rule... Usually the kids come off wanting more... Its never as scary as they have built it up to in their minds...

 

[purplecrush]

My big 14 year old son was extremely afraid of ToT( but will snowboard down a huge mtn with no fears....) and refused to ride it....this was after going on Screamin' about 10 times...I told him it was nothing to be afraid of. He loves rides, so I couldnt understand why he didnt want to go on this. After 3 days of trying to convince him ( cant force him, hes taller than me by almost a foot LOL) he rode it. He laughed the whole time..then refused to go on it again lol.. I think he was so afraid because he couldnt "see" what it did...its all in a building and he didnt know what to expect. I try to have my kids go on everything...9/10 times, they love it!

 

[poohnpigletCA]

I have two children, one who is extremely nervous and the other has sensory Integration and other issues. Yes I do know my children best.

However, I do think common courtesy should also come into play. I do not want childless couples grouping each other and making out in line, or using language I would deem inappropriate for my children. It is my opinion that having a child scream at the top of their lungs is not taking those around you into consideration.

 

[jenpace]

I'm a mom to 5 kids and have 2 grandsons. Honestly I'm a little surprised at how many people are agreeing that it's a good idea to "make" frightened kids go on rides they don't want to and the the idea that those of us who are appalled by this scenario should just "MYOB" about it. Forcing a child who is in tears and terrified to go on a ride they're afraid of is really borderline parenting in my opinion. It's not like going on TOT or Screamin' is an actual necessity like getting a shot or scary x-ray might be. I just don't get it.

Aside from it being potentially traumatizing to the screaming child, what about the rest of us? I've been in line for rides at DL with my younger kids and we've seen other parents forcing frightened kids to get on a ride, ignoring the pleas from their kid. It can be extremely upsetting to the rest of us who are also waiting for our turns, especially the other kids.

I thinks it's super bad form

 

[Mabel67]

For heavens sakes! Why not teach the kid what is acceptable behaviour in public??!! If he/she is making a scene, why should others have to endure this just because the parent thinks Snowflake might end up enjoying himself??!!

Seriously, the number of people that would put their own needs above the hundreds of people waiting in line is what is truly frightening. I think the next time someone is allowing their child near me to ruin my moment in line by permitting misbehaviour, I will begin a heavy duty make-out session with my partner. Because really, the 'It's all about me' attitude can go both ways - since everybody is a 'me'. I might, at that moment, enjoy some heavy petting. And everyone else should just MYOB.

It's called courtesy and respect for your fellow humans, people. If Snowflake can't grasp that, than it's up to the parents to teach him.

 

[kiwitravel]

I think there is a big difference between a screaming kid and one that is upset and maybe crying... And once again it comes down to individual children and what the parents know about that child behaviour...My son did this sort of thing all the time and EVERY time once he had done whatever it was once you couldn't then get him away from said thing...

As for teaching a child proper behaviour then that is exactly what we are doing, allow a child to get what they want by a few tears and you will end up with one very spoilt child...

 

[emacat]

My 11 year old has become quite a daredevil when it comes to rides, but I never EVER forced her to do one. I truly never felt the need to force her onto amusement rides.

She would ask about each ride, and we'd describe it. If it's one she wanted to ride, great. If not, sooner or later, we knew she'd see people having fun and want to try it on her own. She's now ridden every single ride in DL and Six Flags.

Personally, I think there's a big difference between encouraging your kids and forcing them into doing something while they cry and whine. If your kid is that freaked out...why are you making them stand in line for something as unimportant as a ride, scared and miserable?

I wish people would be a little more thoughtful of others when in public. While it may not bother some parents to stand in line with a fussing, whiny kid, the rest of the people in line shouldn't have to suffer, and it's really also teaching those kids not to care about common courtesy. By all means, encourage your quiet, nervous kids that it will be fun, hold their hands and give them big smiles. But leave your screaming kids with the other parent and hit the single rider lines....

 

[kiwitravel]

Every child is different... with my older daughter she would talk herself into building up the courage to ride a scary ride, with my son he wouldn't unless you forced him and then he would love it.... Now he is older (14) he has adapted that mental approach himself by forcing himself to do things outside of his comfort zone... I stand by our decision back then and he certainly feels the same way, we only forced him to do one ride that trip and that was because he gave his word that he would do it.. He did not cause any issue until literally just before we jumped in the log so didn't upset anyone else's wait in the line...

The CMs were right there and saw no problem, rather they gave him some encouragement that helped....

 

[bumbershoot]

For heavens sakes! Why not teach the kid what is acceptable behaviour in public??!! If he/she is making a scene, why should others have to endure this just because the parent thinks Snowflake might end up enjoying himself??!!

Seriously, the number of people that would put their own needs above the hundreds of people waiting in line is what is truly frightening. I think the next time someone is allowing their child near me to ruin my moment in line by permitting misbehaviour, I will begin a heavy duty make-out session with my partner. Because really, the 'It's all about me' attitude can go both ways - since everybody is a 'me'. I might, at that moment, enjoy some heavy petting. And everyone else should just MYOB.

It's called courtesy and respect for your fellow humans, people. If Snowflake can't grasp that, than it's up to the parents to teach him.

Why on earth are you using that insulting term? It's not a child's fault if they are upset about something like a ride. My goodness.

Kids get up to all sorts of weird things in their heads... I remember thinking that a tonsillectomy was done by blowing REALLY hard into a bag, because that's what Curious George did before his tonsils were taken out in a book. It was the bag with ether in it (old book) but I didn't understand that, and for FAR too long I was afraid to exhale too forcefully. The brains of kids are wonders of interesting thoughts, and sometimes those thoughts scare the dickens out of them.

My son will happily watch the POTC trilogy (except for two parts we won't let him watch), but will become VERY upset during The Lion King. LOVED, was MAD for, rock n roller coaster (and is very excited about CA Screamin'), but flat out refuses to ride Tower of Terror...not because of the drops, he adored the drops, but because "we disappeared" in the scene just before the ride really starts, when the lightening hits and you turn blue and disappear from the mirror. He knows it was an effect, he watches the special effects features on DVDs alllll the time, but it messed with his head JUST enough that he won't ride it.

He once had a fairly quiet, but still obvious and i'm sure annoying, freakout while in the line for Peter Pan. He LOVES PP, enjoys the ride thoroughly, but that morning there was just a little less sleep than needed and perhaps not enough food or the wrong sort of food (things we realized retroactively once we started treating ourselves better on our trips), and the relative darkness of the line got to him. I did indeed talk him through the line (which was also a way to explain to our fellow line-waiters what was going on) and made him get on the ride, because I knew that as soon as the ride started, the switch would be flipped.

Ever since then I try to be much more gentle with others I see in lines with kids like that. We ALL spend a lot on our trips, and it's OK for people to urge their kids, within reason, to try new things (or in the case with Peter Pan, go on things you've become inexplicably afraid of but will re-love nearly instantly). I can deal with it, I'm an adult and can pop my earplugs in (earplugs make Disney soooooo much easier to deal with! I highly recommend them!) if it'll help a child ultimately have a fuller vacation by discovering a new ride. ***I'm talking about earplugs when ANOTHER person's child is having some fear about it...not when my own kid is***

That said, I was also the voice of reason with DH at WDW, when he was getting overly annoyed at DS for backing out of rides. I put my foot down at Dinosaur, which DS had *promised* he would go on (there's a good reason 6 year olds can't sign legally binding contracts LOL), because of the *way* he was freaking out about it. The kid was serious, and since none of us had ever been on it, I couldn't tell him anything much about it. Well thank goodness he and I left; even big strong DH was a bit freaked out by the ride! He thanked me for not going along with his peeviness about DS not riding, and our trip went a lot smoother after.

So I'm definitely not a "make the kid ride no matter what" type of person...but the problem is that we don't KNOW a stranger's kid, and don't know what type of freakout they are having. Is that a real, deep, horrible fear speaking? Or is that just nervousness and the pattern they've had for 5 years of trips? We don't know. So I pop in earplugs or smile at the kid and the parent, and hope they know their kid.



But there's NEVER any reason to insult a child with that
"snowflake" term...especially when it comes to things like rides and the child's imagination. There's no way of knowing what evils might lurk in that ride, even if it's only in the child's mind.

 

[kiwitravel]

Why on earth are you using that insulting term? It's not a child's fault if they are upset about something like a ride. My goodness.

But there's NEVER any reason to insult a child with that
"snowflake" term...especially when it comes to things like rides and the child's imagination. There's no way of knowing what evils might lurk in that ride, even if it's only in the child's mind.

I agree, so much is in the head and some kids need a little prodding while others don't. The world would be a dull place if the kids were all the same...

 

[Mugglemama]

I can see where OP is coming from...that it's sad to listen to a child sounding SO frightened by being forced onto a ride. I'm not saying it's right or wrong...just that it makes me very sad for the child when I experience this situation in the parks. I can see how in some families though, maybe the parents really just want the kids to have some fun in the parks, and feel that they're not really maximizing their fun if they don't try the rides. The basic principle of that sounds reasonable.

We've never once even tried to talk our kids into going on a ride...it just feels like manipulation to me. It doesn't matter to me that they "might" like something if they just tried it (I mean, they "might" like weed a few years down the road too - I don't want them being able to be talked into THAT when the time comes)...for me, the point is, at that moment they feel that they don't wish to put THEIR body on THAT ride, and I am really uncomfortable with "talking them into" anything. I present their choices, ask them to make a decision, and then respect their choice. But I'm sort of a hippie that way, lol.

DH and I have ALWAYS said to the kids (we have 4, from Kinder to College) if anybody seemed nervous in the line of a ride they chose to go on, "You know you don't have to ride this. I'm more than happy to get out of line with you and go sit and wait for everyone else, it's no big deal. Even if you change your mind at the very last second, that is totally OK". Surprisingly, not ONE of them has ever ONCE opted to take us up on that offer to get out of line. That really surprised me.

I would also NEVER allow a situation to evolve where my kid was causing distress for others in line. Courtesy toward others and being conscientious of how our actions affect others are major elements of our family philosophy.

 

[Corpsebride]

For me, there is nothing worse that watching a parent force their kid who seems to be always tiny , red faced begging, face full of tears to please not go on a ride. It makes the rest of MY experience on the ride miserable. Why torment the little one , if its is you that wants to go on the ride. The burden isn't on me, to bring ear plugs or MMOB. Seriously, if your kid is so upset that, it is making others upset, and terrified to go on a ride, let the other guests faces around you be the ruling voice. As adults ,we are expected to make logical choices. But why expect it from a 4 year old who can not explain why ride X is scary. It shouldn't affect others experience on the ride. I don't need to have kids to know that I don't like watching such an experience , and that it will stick with me for the rest of the day. Do unto others, even if its a 4 year old afraid of Peter Pan... Geez.

 

[brocklesnar69]

My six year old niece went on ToT and loved it. I guess that just goes to show you can't judge what kids will or wont be up to riding.

Btw, something similar happened to me at WDW. A mom was forcing her her young son (probably 6-7) to go on Dinosaur, and the poor little dude was beyond hysterical and looked like he was going to blow a blood vessle in his head because he was crying so hard. He kept begging his mother not to go on it, but she kept telling him it would be fine and (get this) that it was "Just like the Jungle Cruise." I never found out what happened to that poor boy, but he probably had an aneurysm.

I think in the end, to a degree, you need to push the little ones to go on rides they're big enough for. When I was little, I flat out refused to ride Splash Mountain because of the drop, but once I rode it, I couldn't get enough of it. Same with Space Mountain & Indiana Jones at Dinseyland Paris. I refused to ride those two rides, but once I was forced onto them, I loved them. I wanted to go back again and again and again.

 

[LavenderPeach]

So I'm definitely not a "make the kid ride no matter what" type of person...but the problem is that we don't KNOW a stranger's kid, and don't know what type of freakout they are having. Is that a real, deep, horrible fear speaking? Or is that just nervousness and the pattern they've had for 5 years of trips? We don't know.

Yes, I couldn't agree more, we don't know the situation with a stranger's kid. As a parent of a child with autism, I'm sure people have thought I was a bad parent for not being able to control my child in public or teach him how to behave but the reality is that it's not that simple when it comes to kids with autism. That's not an excuse, it's just our reality. And believe me we do everything possible to avoid possible meltdowns and to help him learn how to cope better but not every meltdown can be avoided. And my child looks quite "normal" but there's a lot more going on than a stranger would know.

As far as rides, we do have to push our son a little bit or he would just sit in a corner and not do anything. We've given him gold star stickers for riding Pirates and Soarin'. He was very proud of himself for going on these rides and earning his stickers but was freaked out about going again so we didn't push him that far.

 

[momrek06]

I'm a mom to 5 kids and have 2 grandsons. Honestly I'm a little surprised at how many people are agreeing that it's a good idea to "make" frightened kids go on rides they don't want to and the the idea that those of us who are appalled by this scenario should just "MYOB" about it. Forcing a child who is in tears and terrified to go on a ride they're afraid of is really borderline parenting in my opinion. It's not like going on TOT or Screamin' is an actual necessity like getting a shot or scary x-ray might be. I just don't get it.

Aside from it being potentially traumatizing to the screaming child, what about the rest of us? I've been in line for rides at DL with my younger kids and we've seen other parents forcing frightened kids to get on a ride, ignoring the pleas from their kid. It can be extremely upsetting to the rest of us who are also waiting for our turns, especially the other kids.

I thinks it's super bad form

OMG, Jennifer, I totally agree with you … what the heck is the point of taking and dragging your child on to a ride they clearly do not want to go on.
OMG, parents that do crap like that … Disturbing.

DH & I have two DS' in their 20's now, and we starting taking them to WDW when they were 7&3. We went at least 20+ times, going multiple times during the year and each of them would go through stages of being afraid of different rides from RNRC to ToT to Space to Splash to BTMRR … but when THEY said THEY were ready to go, is when THEY would go on the ride. That was that. There was even a time when one of the boys went on Haunted one million times and then one year we run to HM and he announces he is NOT going on it … so that was that …

And I feel because we NEVER ever did any 'dragging' of our kids on rides, they trusted us when they would be 'concerned' about a ride … we simply would say, 'this ride is absolutely fine, you will like it' … they would not have any memories of DH & I DRAGGING them onto something they ultimately HATED.

Why would parents set themselves up for a day at WDW or DL to having their child miserable and screaming and crying ABOUT A RIDE …

 

[DahliaRW]

Yes, I couldn't agree more, we don't know the situation with a stranger's kid. As a parent of a child with autism, I'm sure people have thought I was a bad parent for not being able to control my child in public or teach him how to behave but the reality is that it's not that simple when it comes to kids with autism. That's not an excuse, it's just our reality. And believe me we do everything possible to avoid possible meltdowns and to help him learn how to cope better but not every meltdown can be avoided. And my child looks quite "normal" but there's a lot more going on than a stranger would know.

As far as rides, we do have to push our son a little bit or he would just sit in a corner and not do anything. We've given him gold star stickers for riding Pirates and Soarin'. He was very proud of himself for going on these rides and earning his stickers but was freaked out about going again so we didn't push him that far.

I honestly don't have a problem with kids melting down or having tantrums in general. I have 3 of my own, and I've definitely dealt with my share of issues in public. But there is a difference between a child throwing a fit because they have autism, they are tired, they are overstimulated, etc and a child crying and screaming and begging to not go on a ride.

 

[kiwitravel]

OMG, Jennifer, I totally agree with you … what the heck is the point of taking and dragging your child on to a ride they clearly do not want to go on.
OMG, parents that do crap like that … Disturbing.
Why would parents set themselves up for a day at WDW or DL to having their child miserable and screaming and crying ABOUT A RIDE …

Right here is what I am getting at... My son was not miserable in fact he was elated after the ride (as we knew he would be). His day would have been ten times worse if he had not rode as he then would not have had the courage to ride all the other scary rides over the length of our stay including ToT. Also remember we are coming from the other side of the world, not everyone can have the luxury of 20 WDW visits...

Personally I feel parents that pander to their childrens every whim are doing far more harm however I am not prepared to judge....