Scared kids on rides!

[LavenderPeach]

I honestly don't have a problem with kids melting down or having tantrums in general. I have 3 of my own, and I've definitely dealt with my share of issues in public. But there is a difference between a child throwing a fit because they have autism, they are tired, they are overstimulated, etc and a child crying and screaming and begging to not go on a ride.

I agree but the person Bumbershoot was quoting seemed to have a problem with people's kids screaming and ruining their time at DLR so I just wanted to agree with Bumbershoot about how strangers really don't know the situation even if they think they might. But I agree in general, let's not torture the children with going on rides they really don't want to, lol. But as I said before my son needs to be "pushed" a little do some things - not tortured until he's screaming - but encouraged and pushed a little even if he's whining and complaining. This is to help him experience things and so he won't just want to hide in the corner his whole life. It helps him grow. Some people might see that as mean but they don't know what the whole situation is and they don't know what's best for my child. Just trying to give some other perspectives on what might be misjudged as "bad parenting".

 

[DahliaRW]

Right here is what I am getting at... My son was not miserable in fact he was elated after the ride (as we knew he would be). His day would have been ten times worse if he had not rode as he then would not have had the courage to ride all the other scary rides over the length of our stay including ToT. Also remember we are coming from the other side of the world, not everyone can have the luxury of 20 WDW visits...

Personally I feel parents that pander to their childrens every whim are doing far more harm however I am not prepared to judge....

You can allow your child to not go on a ride they are afraid of without catering to their very whim. I don't make my kids do things that aren't for their own good if they are upset about it (going to the doctor, sorry, not negotiable, going on ToT, totally their choice).

 

[kiwitravel]

You can allow your child to not go on a ride they are afraid of without catering to their very whim. I don't make my kids do things that aren't for their own good if they are upset about it (going to the doctor, sorry, not negotiable, going on ToT, totally their choice).

Ok perhaps EVERY whim is a bit of an exaggeration but by your argument a child shouldn't have to do chores, make their own bed, help with washing up, brush their hair etc if it upsets them... Once again I'm not judging but in this house we have had tears over chores but they still have to do them, I just feel to back down sends the wrong message... We also place a lot of importance on someones word, so if someone agrees to something then they have to give it their all to meet that commitment... Its not they necessarily have to do but they have to have given it a damn good try...

I don't profess to be the perfect parent, I do believe that ideal simply does not exist... We are all "giving it a damn good try" I believe...

 

[DahliaRW]

Ok perhaps EVERY whim is a bit of an exaggeration but by your argument a child shouldn't have to do chores, make their own bed, help with washing up, brush their hair etc if it upsets them... Once again I'm not judging but in this house we have had tears over chores but they still have to do them, I just feel to back down sends the wrong message... We also place a lot of importance on someones word, so if someone agrees to something then they have to give it their all to meet that commitment... Its not they necessarily have to do but they have to have given it a damn good try...

I don't profess to be the perfect parent, I do believe that ideal simply does not exist... We are all "giving it a damn good try" I believe...

You know that's not what I mean. There are some things that are non-negotiable. But at DL, I don't force my kids to do things they don't like when it comes to rides. No reason to. Obviously I brush my kids hair, don't serve them junk food just because they want it (they eat what I make), etc.

ETA - I think there is a difference between not wanting to do something and being truly scared/terrified of something as well.

 

[Markie Mouse]

I have to give props to the OP, cause this is a good topic. I have been thinking about this subject since the first post. I've asked my DW and brother and both say if the child doesn't want to go on, then don't make them. But then I think to my childhood, and my parents used that same thinking and now I'm 25, afraid to go on screaming, ToT, and Splash Mountain as well as a serious phobia of elevators and I think if I had someone to push me I could face my fears. But to truly answer this question you must remember children are just young human beings with different personalities, levels of imagination/fear, and tipping points. Every child is different just like me and everyone else on these forums. While I need to be pushed to face my fears, other can do it on there own or won't at all. Another point is everyone should remember that while we all want to have our very own special moments at DLR/WDW there are thousands of others trying to do the very same thing.

I think I have the hardest time coming up with an answer due to never having an issue with my DD. She got scared while in line for Dumbo right after going on Matterhorn and all it took was picking her up comforting her, then explaining the ride to her, all fixed. But I think there is no true right or wrong for every occurrence of this situation. But I will say everyone in the Halloweenqueens situation was wrong(mostly the parent). While I'm sure she was using an old school mentality of suck it up and thought she was right, she should not have gotten into a shouting match with a CM, and the other guest shouting really should have kept their mouths shut(stuck in line or not). Let the employees handle it and don't escalate the situation. But the act of forcing the child on the ride is still no ones business.

We do not know the child or their situations, the kid could have just been a big sissy who needed a push(Me) but the mom didn't handle it right, and we can truly never know the effects it will have on the kids life;resentment, phobias developed, roller coaster addict or appreciation for parents pushing them. But as a parent I do know everything I do, I do with the intent that it's in the best interests for my kids. And if my kids all of a sudden started freaking out screaming bloody murder as the OP kinda described, I would've at least moved to the side and let people pass by as I would try my best to push my daughter on the ride, whether it be explaining everyone has fears and most we must face or standing at the loading area showing her how happy people are getting off the ride. But dragging is a little much, at least pick up the child.

Sooo, I guess after all that, I would say... is DRAGGING a kicking and screaming child on a ride wrong? Yes. Is making a terrified,crying kid go on a ride they are scared of wrong? Only the parent knows and everyone else should mind their own business.

 

[DahliaRW]

Good points, Markie. I think there is a difference between encouraging and "pushing" a child who is reluctant and dragging a hysterical child on the ride. In your case, if your parents had encouraged and pushed and maybe even bribed you to try the rides, you might have liked them. You might have not. But think of it this way too, if you saw an adult kicking and screaming to not go on a ride and being dragged on by another adult, everyone would be appalled and the CM would interfere, so why is it different with a child?

 

[FlameGirl]

Funny topic. My daughter used to be a total chicken, but we talked about each ride she was afraid of and one year she would refuse to go on, while the very next year she would give it a shot. There have also been a few promises of trips to Build-A-Bear and such if she challenges herself to try a ride that has scared her in the past. Eventually, she has come around to all rides at Disneyland and the only ride she really will balk at now is Tower of Terror. We gently suggested she should give some rides a shot and she came around in her own time.

As for forcing a child to ride something when they don't want to, I don't think it qualifies as abuse but I find it ridiculous. Disneyland is supposed to be fun. The notion of "YOU WILL HAVE FUN IF IT KILLS ME" is pretty silly.

 

[kiwitravel]

Sooo, I guess after all that, I would say... is DRAGGING a kicking and screaming child on a ride wrong? Yes. Is making a terrified,crying kid go on a ride they are scared of wrong? Only the parent knows and everyone else should mind their own business.

This sums it up perfectly.... There are some kids that trying to drag them on is wrong, there are others that it helps them face their fears and is very beneficial... Also Kicking and screaming is very wrong whilst crying (though inconsolably is also wrong) may be the way this child handles it... I have seen kids on rides crying as they got into the ride but still refusing not to get out of the ride when asked by the parent..

Bystanders really don't have an idea so as long as the refusal is not to dramatic or distruptive then they should either be supportive or butt out...

 

[jenpace]

...think of it this way too, if you saw an adult kicking and screaming to not go on a ride and being dragged on by another adult, everyone would be appalled and the CM would interfere, so why is it different with a child?

Excellent point Dahlia! Bullying is bullying. Period.

 

[Kissy_Me_FL_mom]

Here is my story...I have an 8 year old who is absolutely TERRIFIED of everything.We went to WDW for the first time ever last year.Needless to say he was scared on and in everything..the swiss tree house...the bird show, the nemo show , spaceship earth.....and all and any physical rides.So guess what..I literally dragged him through the lines fitting the whole way .I would never have seen ANYTHING at dineyworld had it not been for my "bullying"Turns out he liked the ride soarin, which terrified me to no end...I did not drag him on rockin roller coaster...expedition everest...the tower of terror(wont get me on that)space mountain or mission space...but for a kid who is scared of everything...ya just got to force him( my son anyway)Then we went to blizzard beach and I was looking for him..I found him on this ride where you hold on to a bar and ride a zipline down and drop into the water..something I never expected him to do...We now live near WDW and we will be getting annual passes...and he will ride again..like it or not!!! If he is afraid of everything then he needs to give me adequate reason for his fear..It's not like I have him at six flags and want him to ride a 200 ft drop rollercoaster....it's disney for gosh sake..not like is a thrill park!!

 

[ronandannette]

... but I felt bad when she started to cry and kinda worried what other people would think if we pushed her to ride.

Other people might have thought you were a heartless beast, just like we thought on Thursday on HM while we listened to a sobbing 4(ish) year old plead "please Daddy, no - take me out pleeeease Daddy!" She started in the line up, was frantic by the streatching room and we could hear her crying pretty much all along the entire ride. Kind of hard not to judge in a situation like that.

 

[quiltymom]

I'm so sorry that you had to witness that, but I'm glad that the mom gave in in the end. Poor kids.

But...

Once inside where you are almost getting on the girl was now screaming at the top of her lungs and hysterical.

this would've been me if DH made me go on the ride! There's no way in this universe I'd ever get on that ride.

 

[Hummingbird15]

As a parent of three and an early childhood educator, I think that we should respect the child. What's the point of forcing a child to ride if they don't want to? We can't judge based on age because people of all ages have varying anxiety levels. I know adults who won't ride TOT!
I prefer to pick my battles. Some things (ie. going to school, going to bed or getting a shot at the doctor's office) are not negotiable. But in my opinion, forcing your child to go on a ride isn't worth fighting over, and defeats the point of going to the Happiest place on earth!

 

[NavyDad01]

Here is my story...I have an 8 year old who is absolutely TERRIFIED of everything.We went to WDW for the first time ever last year.Needless to say he was scared on and in everything..the swiss tree house...the bird show, the nemo show , spaceship earth.....and all and any physical rides.So guess what..I literally dragged him through the lines fitting the whole way .I would never have seen ANYTHING at dineyworld had it not been for my "bullying"Turns out he liked the ride soarin, which terrified me to no end...I did not drag him on rockin roller coaster...expedition everest...the tower of terror(wont get me on that)space mountain or mission space...but for a kid who is scared of everything...ya just got to force him( my son anyway)Then we went to blizzard beach and I was looking for him..I found him on this ride where you hold on to a bar and ride a zipline down and drop into the water..something I never expected him to do...We now live near WDW and we will be getting annual passes...and he will ride again..like it or not!!! If he is afraid of everything then he needs to give me adequate reason for his fear..It's not like I have him at six flags and want him to ride a 200 ft drop rollercoaster....it's disney for gosh sake..not like is a thrill park!!

I agree with this if I let my daughter not ride it she will always be scared.

 

[LisainCalifornia]

As a parent of three and an early childhood educator, I think that we should respect the child. What's the point of forcing a child to ride if they don't want to? We can't judge based on age because people of all ages have varying anxiety levels. I know adults who won't ride TOT!
I prefer to pick my battles. Some things (ie. going to school, going to bed or getting a shot at the doctor's office) are not negotiable. But in my opinion, forcing your child to go on a ride isn't worth fighting over, and defeats the point of going to the Happiest place on earth!

I agree! (I am a teacher as well )

I know someone who makes their child go on each ride at least once (they don't have to go again later if they don't like it)--and even this I find to be too much. I can't even imagine how you would "enforce" it, but I guess I don't really want to think about that. I am a total disney nut, but I won't go on Tower of Terror (I hate dropping), California Screaming or Space Mountain. If someone took me and said I had to go on (even once) it would be so scary to me. I am fine with the many rides I will go on. My kids are all different--one is more like me, and the other two love the bigger rides. There is room for all of us on our trips. When my son was younger he was one of the kids who was afraid of many rides, but he slowly grew out of it at his own pace, and now there isn't a ride he won't go on. We just kept going and offering, but it is no big deal if they don't go on. We still talk about the very first trip with our kids when my son was 4 and my daughter was 2 (little one wasn't born yet!)--and we went on....drum roll please...3 rides! We still had a great time (Snow White waved to my daughter in the parade and she still remembers that!). Those 3 rides were the only ones my son felt comfortable with at the time, and that trip was all about the kids. Still one of our best trips ever.

 

[NavyDad01]

I can understand Tower of terror , space mountain things like that but my daughter was scared to even go on POTC when we went to WDW. The reason she is scared is because she thinks its a fast roller coaster. I basically told her you know what you have to try and thats that " You have to trust me that I would not put you through something you can not handle". When we got off she wanted to ride it everyday. It was that way for a lot of the rides now she is pumped to go to Disney land on all the rides.

However if it came to the situation were she started crying and screaming in line then yes I would step out of line with her. I don't think its appropriate to have my daughter screaming her head off and crying and ruining everyone else time even if its in a public place . I would take her out of line and explain to her what punishment she will have for acting like that. I don't know if thats bad parenting by making her get on but thats how they did it to my dad , thats how it was done to me , and thats how I will do it to my kids.

 

[frijolefrito]

What you see and what the parent sees are 2 different things. As parents you've seen your kids throw all kinds of fight and have their lives ruined by small trivial things. So as an outsider you see a kid freaking out. The parent has probably seen this same reaction when you've told them to go to bed. Yes there are HORRIBLE parents out there but perspective people.

 

[CrazyDuck]

Here, let me highlight what is wrong with your statement:

Here is my story...I have an 8 year old who is absolutely TERRIFIED of everything.We went to WDW for the first time ever last year.Needless to say he was scared on and in everything..the swiss tree house...the bird show, the nemo show , spaceship earth.....and all and any physical rides.So guess what..I literally dragged him through the lines fitting the whole way .I would never have seen ANYTHING at dineyworld had it not been for my "bullying" Turns out he liked the ride soarin, which terrified me to no end...I did not drag him on rockin roller coaster...expedition everest...the tower of terror(wont get me on that)space mountain or mission space...but for a kid who is scared of everything...ya just got to force him( my son anyway)Then we went to blizzard beach and I was looking for him..I found him on this ride where you hold on to a bar and ride a zipline down and drop into the water..something I never expected him to do...We now live near WDW and we will be getting annual passes...and he will ride again..like it or not!!! If he is afraid of everything then he needs to give me adequate reason for his fear..It's not like I have him at six flags and want him to ride a 200 ft drop rollercoaster....it's disney for gosh sake..not like is a thrill park!!

Most people here are persuading their kids to try the ride because they know that their child will probably like it... You "Bullied" your kid onto the ride so you wouldn't miss anything! See the difference?

 

[jenpace]

Parenting styles aside...and I use that term generously, how about the rest of the other families waiting in the same line as parents forcing their crying, frightened children to board a ride? I can speak for my own kids who are 8 and 12 y/o and are not treated like that at home. It's really upsetting for them to see that kind of spectacle.

If making your own kids cry in terror is part of someone's parenting plan, how about a little consideration for everyone else?

 

[3Minnies1Mickey]

If making your own kids cry in terror is part of someone's parenting plan, how about a little consideration for everyone else?

Though I try my best to be respectful of the people around me, I am not parenting my child in a way to make your life easier. If I'm in the grocery store and my 2 year old is having a tantrum because I won't let him have a lollipop, I'm not leaving because the person next to me doesn't want to hear him cry. Some times its one of those things that needs to run its course and things need to get done. I know my kids well enough to know if their outburst is reasonable for them or not. The same in Disneyland. My now 6 year old was frightened in line for Big Thunder Mountain every day at least twice a day for 5 days straight. She LOVED the ride and wanted to go back on it, but as soon as we were back in line anxiety set in again. The same was for Tower of Terror. She went on it at the Halloween party in 2009 and loved it, when we went back to Disneyland 2 months later she cried all through the line. Even though she knew and remembered she liked it before she was still scared to go again. If someone in line was bothered that I took her on it crying, they need to keep it to themselves and trust that maybe I know my child better than they do.

Most people here are persuading their kids to try the ride because they know that their child will probably like it... You "Bullied" your kid onto the ride so you wouldn't miss anything! See the difference?

The child was "scared" of the treehouse. Some kids are scared of the unknown and won't try new things if they aren't "forced" to. I trust that this mom knows her child and their limits better than you Crazy Duck.