SAHM's-- How do you do it?

[studentmom]

Hello everyone
I am a stay at home mom right now to two kids, dd (4) and ds (2). (I go back to school later this fall). Before I had kids I kept the house spotless and organized. Now that I have children I have such a hard time keeping my house clean. Our house isn't that big, but the kids have a lot of little (and some big) toys-that I try to keep in bins, but they still end up everywhere. LOL.
I feel really happy to be home with them, but as far as housework goes, well...lets just say taking care of them alone is full time, so my house does not look the way I really want it to look. I feel bad because I'm embarassed to have people over, because of my home. Now mind you-it's not a pig stye (sp?), but its not as clean as I would like it to be. I could spend all day cleaning, but I'd feel like I'm not meeting their needs and being there for them. KWIM? Plus I'm thinking of homeschooling my dd for pre-school and kindergarten.
If I may ask...can anyone help me by giving me tips and advice? Do you have particular routine or strategy? If so that would be extremely helpful! What do you do? thank you.

 

[THESCHULTZFIVE]

I know exactly what you mean. All of my friends, with and without chhildren, know that I have kids and they have stuff.....lots of stuff.....if you walked in my house, for the most part, you would wonder if any adults live here. But that's how it is, and I'm fine with that. And I say anyone who isn't dosen't have to come to my house. I stay at home like you, and so my life...ok our lives b/c DH would say he works for the kids...is all about the kids now. We don't have that long before they'll be living their own lives and then I'm sure we'll be wishing to find a toy laying around the house. I was never like a squeaky-clean freak. I mean, like you it's not about dirt, it's about stuff. I think keeping the little toys in a bin is good. We do that too. If you could devote a room of your house to toys, a playroom, that would work. Some magazine suggested not having "kiddie" bins or storage. Using ones that match the decor of your house. Nobody has to know they're full of barbies and transformers. Don't stress out about it, though. Do what you can do , but mostly just enjoy your kids.

 

[mudnuri]

1st do a little each day.

Multi task- theres no reason the kids cant be coloring at the kitchen table while your cleaning the top of the stove and counters off.

During the school year, my girls do their homework after supper at the table, and I use that time to straighten up. I'm still right there if they have a question, but I'm not idle.

Other than that heres a few quick tips

1. If you have a dish washer, continuously load it. I load my throughout the day (okay that was wrong- the DD's load their own dishes) and then after they have gone to bed, I run it. if you dont have a dishwasher, after each meal- wash those dishes.

2. Get a swiffer. Both wet and dry pads. You'll be amazed how often you just grab it and clean up a small area that the kids have "dirtied" ie. koolaid spill on hardwood LOL

3. Your kids are at the perfect age to begin HELPING you. Give them a dust rag, and take them with you to the living room to dust the TV stand, coffee table etc. There is no reason a 4 year old cant help- the 2 year old obviously wont accomplish as much. If you make it fun, they will not think of it as work.

4. The one fly lady thing I do- I wont go to bed if my sink is not clean and my counters cleared of clutter.

5. Try as best you can to contain the toys to a single area. Either the bedrooms or the living room- or if you have on- the play room. It makes it easier on everyone. When my girls were little like your children, before lunch and before dinner we did a "5 minute tidy" and put the toys away before we ate. This cut down incredibly on "clutter" and toys left out.

6. I get up about an hour before my kids in the AM and have their lunches ready to go before they get up (camp all week). This cuts down on sandwich mess on my counter- like the fluff I would find when we got home at night... LOL

7. I also go to bed about 3 hours AFTER them, which allows me time to do the bigger cleaning jobs that they don't do. Bathtub- toilet, etc.

I still say the easiest way to keep a house "clean" or "presentable" is to maintain the area every day. The minute I slack- its over. I'm back at square one. I'd rather spend 1/2 hour a day before bed, than my sunday cleaning. Im a single mom who works outside of the home, we're gone from 745am- 515pm 5 days a week (though they do split time with this house and their fathers)

I'm also a big believer in the kids having "chores" though we dont call them that and they are not compensated for them. They are just duties they have. DD9 for instance, takes the trash out to the trash cans. DD7, is always the one who sets the table and clears it off (by clears- I mean condiments we might have used...we all take care of our own dishes). They both rinse out their plates/bowls and put them in the dishwasher.

Good luck!

Brandy

 

[mudnuri]

...... I think keeping the little toys in a bin is good. We do that too. If you could devote a room of your house to toys, a playroom, that would work. Some magazine suggested not having "kiddie" bins or storage. Using ones that match the decor of your house. Nobody has to know they're full of barbies and transformers. .

Before we had a family room in our basement at their dads house- thats what we did.

Now at both houses they have "play rooms"...and thankfully as they have gotten older the amount of those little toys that you step on at 2am when you need to use the bathroom are the minority around here now!.... Oh i use to hate those butterfly clips for their hair. OUCH!

Brandy

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm in the same boat. My fix....I'm thinking of downsizing their possessions.

I've moved my workouts to the evenings after they go to bed.

We will be homeschooling--and call me mean, but chores will be part of the curriculum.

How we stay on top of what they have is we have compartments/containers for everything. We clean up their room before bath and do the "toy train"--carry a basket throughout the house and pick up "passengers" that got left out during the day. We haven't done it in a few days and it shows--but when we do do it...the house looks a lot better.

 

[mickeyboat]

We have a playroom, too. I allow the kids to bring their toys out of the playroom, but it's where they all go back to when they are done. It really keeps down on the clutter in the rest of the house, and I can close the door if it gets too messy.

One tip I read about a long time ago is never leave a room empty-handed. If there is something out of place, take it with you. I always check the living room on my way up the stairs, if there are toys that don't belong there, I bring them up with me and put them in the play room.

The best suggestion is to have the kids help. Mine (4 adn 5) put their dishes in the dishwasher, throw their dirty laundry in the correct sorting bin and help fold and put away laundry. It makes a big difference.

Denae

 

[lemondog]

OP, I hear ya! And I can totally relate. My house is definitely in worse shape now than when I worked full time, pre-kids. It's because no matter how hard I try to keep it clean, I have 3 whirling dervishes running behind me to destroy it. So I have learned to live with it. Every night after they go to bed hubby and I do a quick pick up of clutter, and each day I focus in cleaning a different room, rather than just picking up. It's a constant battle, one that I hate. If I had the $$ for a housekeeper I would hire one in a heartbeat. I hate housework, lol.

 

[puffkin]

Don't allow your kids to keep their toys all over the house. Keep the toys limited to one room (bedrooms, playroom, rec room, etc.). If they want to play in the living room, make sure they put their toys back in the designated room when they are finished.

 

[remyandhollandsmommy]

This is just a brief discription, I do vacumn more than this, but most people don't. This is our summer schedule, since we are way more busy during the school year with activities/ballet/etc. This is just an idea of what we do...
I get up 30-45 min before the girls do so that I can make my bed, clean up my morning mess (if warranted), unload the dishwasher (I run it when I go to bed). I have found that those cleaning wipes (while a little more costly) save time (they come in practically everything now) since you just run them over surfaces and throw away when done. I have a large easter basket I carry with me from room to room. When I see something that doesn't belong, I put it in there until I get to the room it belongs in (this saves me from wasting time walking back and forth). I set out what I need to make dinner that night on the counter out of the way (refridgerated items on the top shelf for easy access later). I also run the vacumn before I get them up. For their toy mess, we have a bonus room (like a small office) that I turned into a playroom. I don't care how messy they get it as long as all toys stay in there (there is also cable in there LOL so they are content). I clean the playroom after they are in bed. While they are eating breakfast (which I personally don't eat) I make their beds, grab their hampers, pick up their room and the bathroom. I start a load of laundry, when it is dry instead of throwing it into a basket to fold later I fold as I take it out. I put the clothes away right away so they don't add up. Oh, and as soon as dishes are used I toss them into the dishwasher (my counters stay clean and it saves time later). Now I have a few hours to play. Lunch is a repeat of breakfast (I run the vacumn again). Holly takes a nap at noon (she sleeps for almost 2 hrs so I can get tons done LOL) and while she's asleep Remy usually reads or watches a dvd. I go through the house making sure everything is still clean, more laundry. Holly wakes up, we play for an hour and the girls either watch tv or play together while I fix dinner. While I am making dinner I put dishes in dishwasher as I finish with them and use a large mixing bowl for my prep trash as I cook. We eat, I clean up the dishes, run the vacumn, girls get baths/ready for bed, they go to bed at 8pm (no matter what LOL). Now I clean that playroom, finish laundry, relax for a while, pick out recipe for dinner tomm., get ready for bed, start dishwasher, go to bed (usually around midnight).

I usually pick one day a week to do errands and during the school year I actually get more time without cleaning since Remy isn't home to make a mess.

Oh and when I have spare moments or during my relaxing time I do ebay.

 

[kasar]

Everyday just do the best you can.

 

[THESCHULTZFIVE]

Before we had a family room in our basement at their dads house- thats what we did.

Now at both houses they have "play rooms"...and thankfully as they have gotten older the amount of those little toys that you step on at 2am when you need to use the bathroom are the minority around here now!.... Oh i use to hate those butterfly clips for their hair. OUCH!

Brandy

I can totally relate. Except I'm so accident prone, I step on stuff in the daytime. That's why the bins are more of a health faactor for me. The playroom is upstairs, but they can keep anything downstairs as long as it fits in the bins.Oh the stuff they've tried to cram in there hahahahaha

 

[diznygirl]

Some magazine suggested not having "kiddie" bins or storage. Using ones that match the decor of your house. Nobody has to know they're full of barbies and transformers.

This is what we have done in the family room. We have a coffee table with three baskets, so stuff gets wept off the table into the baskets. Every so often we go through these baskets with DS and eliminate some toys that he doesn't play with anymore, and others get put back where they actually belong.

Once in awhile I will put the kids in the dining to do something like play with stamps or watercolors - they can make a mess there while I clean the kitchen/family room. And then it's time to play in the sprinkler in the backyard - washes the ink or paint right off them!

If I'm overwhelmed by the clutter inside, we go outside to draw with chalk or blow bubbles...

I survive by little pick-ups during the day, and a more major pick-up after bedtime. Maybe you can get a laundry basket for a quick pick-up of toys before company comes and hide it in a closet or garage.

And most of all - enjoy those little ones!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Angela--that is a most impressive schedule---I might borrow it from you!

 

[Disney Enthusiast]

The previous posters had some great ideas and I practice many of them. We have a playroom now, but books and toys always seem to trickle down the stairs and before I know it, I have a pile on the floor as well as in my dining room buffet table (I have an open great room/dining room/kitchen area w/ no wall space for cabinets and I resorted to using my buffet to "hide" the toys). I had an open Pottery Barn basket and that worked well for a while. It had overflowed so badly that this morning we packed up a huge boating bag full of toys and took them upstairs and put them away (the 2 and 4 yr old helped). Then we came back down a couple hours later and did it again.

I have been having trouble w/ the little one because she LOVES to help, but instead of going slower, I get nothing done when she "helps" w/ the dishes and laundry. I fold and she folds, then yanks my folded laundry off the table. Ugghh. She is good about transferring laundry from washer to dryer though. I am good about keeping up w/ the minor things, like loading the dishes and wiping the counter tops. I can't stand, esp. w/ an open kitchen, to have crumbs and clutter on my bar and counters. So I, out of obsession, have no problems w/ that. And the kids and I have a clean up session before nap and before bed every day. The little one is really great about putting her toys away. I have trouble keeping up w/ the heavy duty cleaning like vacuuming and cleaning baseboards and the tops of refrigerators and armoires, esp. now that I am 6 mos pregnant and tired and slow. And when I have acctg work to do for the business, I end up doing that after they go to bed or before they get up, and so the cleaning is at the bottom of my list. I just vacuumed late last night, and then swiffered this morning (that thing is a must have) and my house looks really nice today. And start recruiting the little ones to help w/ a dust rag. They won't do much to actually clean, but by mimicking you, they are learning a good work ethic and helping you at the same time, plus, you are able to get a little done each day. I also give them our hard floor vacuum while I use the power vac. They go thru the motions, and it's only a handle. But they feel they are helping and I get my work done.

Good luck. It's a fine balance, one of which my DH has been very understanding when I fall short on my work load. But w/ a little understanding, a little prior planning, a little flexibility, you can make it work. And don't beat yourself up if you fall behind. We just went away July 4th weekend, and I'm still playing catch up and I'm still recuperating. Today was a good day and the house looks great. 2 days ago, I would have been embarrassed had anyone visited. But you know what, we all go thru this and we all have "messy" homes sometimes. And as my DH says (and he's super fastidious and neat and organized), there's always tomorrow. And when he gets home, and the toys are still scattered around, he'll help me when he can. Eventually, we have a good day and we get it done.

 

[mudnuri]

I really think a lot of us do the majority of cleaning when the kid have gone to bed.

I know I certainly accomplish more, if I get off the dis and do it.

I have found that since we do not have cable TV, the girls seem to be doing more with the stuff they have. They spend more time doing craft projects, puzzles, etc. and that i have found more time to do things that i enjoy, and dont (like cleaning). I use to sit and watch Dateline or one of those other 10pm news shows, then when the local news was over at 1130 head to bed. Now since I dont have that to watch, my floors are cleaner then they use to be LOL.

I priced cable today in our area, and for 47.60 plus taxes/fee's I can get a whopping 75 channels- not even digital....um no thanks we'll continue with netflix!

Brandy

 

[poohkinandpiglet]

www.flylady.com helped me get control over the little daily tasks. She has some very pracitical tips and suggestions for maintaining the house and your life.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Go to Flylady.net. There are lots of good ideas there and e-mail reminders if you want to sign up for them (I made a Flylady folder for those e-mails so they wouldn't clog up my regular e-mails inbox).

Basically I keep on things all the time, have a weekly schedule (todays job was the kitchen), do a load of laundry or more than one load) a day, and get the kids to help. Also, I don't like filth or too much clutter, but I also do not expect perfection. The Flylady e-mail is, "you are not behind". If a person feels too frustrated about all the have to do the tendency is to give up before ever beginning.

I use a timer a lot--15 minutes of work, 15 minutes going through papers, etc, and 15 minutes if playing. Sometimes it's 15 minutes of play for every 15 minutes of work. I trudge along until I get it done. I can do anything for 15 minutes! I also have the Flylady feather dusters, which I love. I have a Roomba vacuum, which helps a lot with the pet hairs (we have 2 dogs and 2 cats).

T&B

 

[WDWendy]

www.flylady.com helped me get control over the little daily tasks. She has some very pracitical tips and suggestions for maintaining the house and your life.

OH MY GOSH! You know how to FLY too? I love her methods. Her book helped me get my kitchen under control. If I can keep the sink clean the rest of the kitchen falls into place.

 

[icebrat001]

This is just a brief discription, I do vacumn more than this, but most people don't. This is our summer schedule, since we are way more busy during the school year with activities/ballet/etc. This is just an idea of what we do...
I get up 30-45 min before the girls do so that I can make my bed, clean up my morning mess (if warranted), unload the dishwasher (I run it when I go to bed). I have found that those cleaning wipes (while a little more costly) save time (they come in practically everything now) since you just run them over surfaces and throw away when done. I have a large easter basket I carry with me from room to room. When I see something that doesn't belong, I put it in there until I get to the room it belongs in (this saves me from wasting time walking back and forth). I set out what I need to make dinner that night on the counter out of the way (refridgerated items on the top shelf for easy access later). I also run the vacumn before I get them up. For their toy mess, we have a bonus room (like a small office) that I turned into a playroom. I don't care how messy they get it as long as all toys stay in there (there is also cable in there LOL so they are content). I clean the playroom after they are in bed. While they are eating breakfast (which I personally don't eat) I make their beds, grab their hampers, pick up their room and the bathroom. I start a load of laundry, when it is dry instead of throwing it into a basket to fold later I fold as I take it out. I put the clothes away right away so they don't add up. Oh, and as soon as dishes are used I toss them into the dishwasher (my counters stay clean and it saves time later). Now I have a few hours to play. Lunch is a repeat of breakfast (I run the vacumn again). Holly takes a nap at noon (she sleeps for almost 2 hrs so I can get tons done LOL) and while she's asleep Remy usually reads or watches a dvd. I go through the house making sure everything is still clean, more laundry. Holly wakes up, we play for an hour and the girls either watch tv or play together while I fix dinner. While I am making dinner I put dishes in dishwasher as I finish with them and use a large mixing bowl for my prep trash as I cook. We eat, I clean up the dishes, run the vacumn, girls get baths/ready for bed, they go to bed at 8pm (no matter what LOL). Now I clean that playroom, finish laundry, relax for a while, pick out recipe for dinner tomm., get ready for bed, start dishwasher, go to bed (usually around midnight).

I usually pick one day a week to do errands and during the school year I actually get more time without cleaning since Remy isn't home to make a mess.

Oh and when I have spare moments or during my relaxing time I do ebay.

Your schedule seems jam packed, when do you get time for yourself? What about when your husband is home? Wow, you are a busy woman, you make medical school sound easy.

You sound like a good organized mom, keep up the good work!

 

[EthansMom]

I'm another one who has gotten help from Flylady, although not all of her ideas work for me.

I've found that if I can keep up with the day-to-day clutter, the laundry, and the dishes, it's much easier to do the cleaning (scrub the bathroom, vacuum, etc.). Both of my kids have the bin-type organizers for toys in their rooms. They are allowed to bring out 1-2 bins of toys at a time. As part of his getting-ready-for-bed routine, DS3.5 has to go through the Livingroom and put away all of the toys (both his and his baby sister's).

I will take a few minutes here and there to pick up and properly put away as many things as possible. I play a game with myself that I call the 100 Item Pick Up, where I pick up and put away up to 100 things, counting them as I go -- when the house is particularly cluttered, I can put away 100 things in about 30 minutes.

I really love to keep my bedroom picked up and make the bed in the morning -- I do this while the kids are in the shower together. In the kitchen, I try to clean up the mess from cooking and food prep as I am cooking. When I'm cooking, there are often a few minutes here and there of down time. I try to use any down time to unload or load the dishwasher -- I don't always get it finished, but every little bit helps. I have separate laundry bags for laundry so that everyone puts their dirty clothes into the bag for whites, lights or darks (99% of our clothes are machine washable). I often put a load of laundry in the washer in the morning after we've all showered and before we leave for preschool/summer camp/errands.

I love the Flylady Zones and have found that doing 15 minutes extra in one room for 2-3 days in a row can have a big impact.

Regarding the kids' clutter, I try to go through the drawers and closets and clean out every couple of months. Likewise with the toys. With my DS3.5, I call the culling process "Making room for Birthday and Christmas presents!" Boy, does he love to make room for presents!

In the rest of the house, my rule is "Get one new, get rid of one old." When I got new dishes, I gave my old ones away to a family member who had the same set. When I got new pots and pans, I donated the old ones to Goodwill. I always have a box in the house for any items I run across for Goodwill.

Once the clutter is gone and I can see the floor, it's easy enough to run a vacuum cleaner (takes about 10 mins. for my main floor) or mop (about 15 mins.) or wipe down the counter.

I've made a lot of progress over the years -- I used to be one of those people who could never find anything and had papers ALL OVER! Right now, my house isn't perfect, but it's pretty clean and I'm not spending much time to get it/keep it that way. The biggest thing is to spend the extra time here and there (and it really can be just 10 or 15 mins. extra) to get on top of the clutter.

I hope this helps!