SADDAM: I WOULD ACCEPT EXILE IN FRANCE
Not the Diplomatic Solution I Meant, Says Chirac
Moments after U.S. President George W. Bush used a nationally televised address to demand that Saddam Hussein go into exile, the Iraqi strongman surprised his country and the world by saying that he would in fact accept exile: in France.
After careful consideration, I have decided that it would make everyones life a lot easier if I just moved to a chateau outside of Paris, Saddam said, sporting a French-style beret and smoking what appeared to be a Gitane cigarette. Im packing my bags tonight. Au revoir, lIraque!
President Bush, told of Saddams relocation plans moments after the Iraqi President went off the air, expressed amazement that his ultimatum had been accepted so quickly.
What??! He wasnt supposed to I mean, wow, thats great news, Mr. Bush said.
But in France, Saddams decision to relocate to the Parisian suburbs seemed to raise more questions than it answered, as French President Jacques Chirac said he was incensed that the Iraqi madman had unilaterally decided to move himself and as many as twenty thousand Saddam Hussein look-alikes to the French capital.
When I said I wanted a diplomatic solution, this was not the diplomatic solution I meant, Mr. Chirac said. I meant a diplomatic solution that didnt require me to do anything.
At U.S. CENTCOM headquarters in Qatar, General Tommy Franks said that Saddams relocation to France would require only modest changes in the U.S. war plan.
Fortunately, our long-range stealth bombers can reach France without refueling, General Franks said.
****BOROWITZ REPORT****
Not the Diplomatic Solution I Meant, Says Chirac
Moments after U.S. President George W. Bush used a nationally televised address to demand that Saddam Hussein go into exile, the Iraqi strongman surprised his country and the world by saying that he would in fact accept exile: in France.
After careful consideration, I have decided that it would make everyones life a lot easier if I just moved to a chateau outside of Paris, Saddam said, sporting a French-style beret and smoking what appeared to be a Gitane cigarette. Im packing my bags tonight. Au revoir, lIraque!
President Bush, told of Saddams relocation plans moments after the Iraqi President went off the air, expressed amazement that his ultimatum had been accepted so quickly.
What??! He wasnt supposed to I mean, wow, thats great news, Mr. Bush said.
But in France, Saddams decision to relocate to the Parisian suburbs seemed to raise more questions than it answered, as French President Jacques Chirac said he was incensed that the Iraqi madman had unilaterally decided to move himself and as many as twenty thousand Saddam Hussein look-alikes to the French capital.
When I said I wanted a diplomatic solution, this was not the diplomatic solution I meant, Mr. Chirac said. I meant a diplomatic solution that didnt require me to do anything.
At U.S. CENTCOM headquarters in Qatar, General Tommy Franks said that Saddams relocation to France would require only modest changes in the U.S. war plan.
Fortunately, our long-range stealth bombers can reach France without refueling, General Franks said.
****BOROWITZ REPORT****
I love this idea!
