OJ Simpson Weighs In On Saddam's 1/2 Brother
Guest Editorial by OJ Simpson
I must admit that the recent hanging/decapitation of Saddam Hussein's half-brother, Barzan Ibrahim, has me a bit confused. He was sentenced to death by hanging, but after the floor dropped out from under him, his head fell off.
So which was it- a hanging or a beheading? There are nuances that go along with each. A hanging is "the suspension of a person by a ligature, usually a cord wrapped around the neck, causing death." Notice that there is no mention of a rogue head rolling about.
A beheading, on the other hand, is what happens to your ex when she goes gallivanting around the town with that pretty boy waiter who fancies himself an actor. Hypothetically.
So where does that leave us? It was not a true hanging because of the head removal. And it was not a true decapitation due to the lack of intent to behead. What we have here is the rarest of executionary hybrids; a bedangling. Barzan Ibrahim was bedangled.
Although the method of death may not have been a true "hanging" in the classical sense of the term, you have to admit that it was a nice clean cut. Damn. Head was taken clean off? With a rope? I busted my a$$ cutting off Nicole's head using... I mean if I had killed Nicole, I would have busted my a$$ cutting her head off using a well-sharpened steak knife, never mind a rope. Those Iraqi ropesmiths have game.
I also have to take issue with the executioners choice of footwear in this instance. What was up with those shoes? If I were about to take someones head off, hypothetically, I would wear dress shoes made of the finest Italian leather. It is considered poor form to bedangle while wearing goatskin loafers. Show some respect.
And remember; if the head falls off during a hanging, you got yourself a bedangling.