SADDAM CALLS WEAPONS INSPECTORS SPIES; SPIES DEMAND APOLOGY
Secret Agents March On Baghdad to Protest Iraqis Remarks
One day after Saddam Hussein accused Hans Blix and his team of weapons inspectors of spying, thousands of spies, secret agents and other intelligence personnel from around the world marched on Baghdad to protest the Iraqi strongmans remarks, which the spies called hurtful.
The fact that Saddam is willing to call those weapons inspectors spies shows just how little respect he has for the work we do, said Jake Dawkins, a British spy who helped organize the protest.
Mr. Dawkins said that to compare the work Mr. Blix and his team are doing to the job that spies do is the height of absurdity.
Day in day out, spies wrestle with frogmen underwater, ski off of cliffs with nothing but a parachute to break their fall, and infiltrate enemy lairs where they are often outnumbered a thousand to one, Mr. Dawkins said. What do these weapons inspectors have to do? Sniff around an old 7-Up bottling plant. I mean, come on.
Leading such angry chants as, Were spies, were wise, were not inspector guys, organizers of the protest estimated that as many as fifty thousand spies from around the world had attended the rally to protest Saddams disparaging remarks.
But Iraqi officials said it was hard to verify that number, since many of the spies may have gone undercover and disguised themselves as onlookers.
Meanwhile, Saddam seemed to add fuel to the controversy later in the day by saying that the thousands of U.S. troops currently massing in the Persian Gulf region are not actually troops, but are more sneaky weapons inspectors pretending to be troops.
Their chicanery knows no bounds, the Iraqi leader said.
****Borowitz Reports****
Secret Agents March On Baghdad to Protest Iraqis Remarks
One day after Saddam Hussein accused Hans Blix and his team of weapons inspectors of spying, thousands of spies, secret agents and other intelligence personnel from around the world marched on Baghdad to protest the Iraqi strongmans remarks, which the spies called hurtful.
The fact that Saddam is willing to call those weapons inspectors spies shows just how little respect he has for the work we do, said Jake Dawkins, a British spy who helped organize the protest.
Mr. Dawkins said that to compare the work Mr. Blix and his team are doing to the job that spies do is the height of absurdity.
Day in day out, spies wrestle with frogmen underwater, ski off of cliffs with nothing but a parachute to break their fall, and infiltrate enemy lairs where they are often outnumbered a thousand to one, Mr. Dawkins said. What do these weapons inspectors have to do? Sniff around an old 7-Up bottling plant. I mean, come on.
Leading such angry chants as, Were spies, were wise, were not inspector guys, organizers of the protest estimated that as many as fifty thousand spies from around the world had attended the rally to protest Saddams disparaging remarks.
But Iraqi officials said it was hard to verify that number, since many of the spies may have gone undercover and disguised themselves as onlookers.
Meanwhile, Saddam seemed to add fuel to the controversy later in the day by saying that the thousands of U.S. troops currently massing in the Persian Gulf region are not actually troops, but are more sneaky weapons inspectors pretending to be troops.
Their chicanery knows no bounds, the Iraqi leader said.
****Borowitz Reports****
