Sad today.

[tiggerlover]

{{{HUGS}}} GEM. I know exactly how you are feeling because the same thing happened to me when I had my miscarriage. I honestly believe that people aren't intentionally being mean, they just haven't got a clue what it is like for us. Your baby was real, your feelings are real and the feeling of loss is real and many people just don't get it and it is a shame because those we care about most could give us the most comfort. I was lucky (if you want to call it lucky) but both of my sisters had miscarriages before me so they knew what it was like and they were supportive (as supportive as one can be living so far away), but for the rest of the family and our friends they didn't get it and it was hurtful. As someone said, it will get better, but for the time being hang in there and just allow yourself to grieve and know that your DIS friends are here with unconditional support.

Debbi

 

[Boots]

We all care about you!! {{{{{HUGS}}}}} I know this must be an extremely had time for you. Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[ILUVDXL]

GEM, I don't often talk about this but I lost all of my six children to miscarriage. I'ts a difficult time for everyone and I found most people say nothing because they just don't know what to say. Believe me when I tell you they all feel very sad but just are trying to be kind by not saying anything in the hope they won't upset you further. (((HUGS)), sweetie. I understand how you feel.

 

[glo]

Hugs sweetie. You are right people really are probably trying not to upset you firther. It is something that is really a difficult situation. I am so sorry for your loss, it is such a horrible thing to have to go through. I think that some people just do not understand how profound the loss is even at the early stages. Others don't want to remind you and upset you all over again. Just know that no one is doing anything to purposely hurt you I am sure. Keep coming here, you will always find someon to listen and share with.

Hugs and take care
We care!!!
{{{HUGS}}}

 

[jldriscoll]

{{{{{hugs}}}}}} GEM Fell better

 

[Dream]

Gem, I have been thinking about you. As I told you in a pm...I have walked where you are now. In my case people said nothing when they just didn't know what to say and saying nothing meant there was no risk of saying the wrong thing and hurting me more. I found that if I "lead the way" so to speak and let them know that talking about it was what i NEEDED, some folks would be more responsive. There are always those who cannot handle the pain themselves and the only way to deal with it is ignoring the whole thing. I agree with other posters who have said to seek out those people who are comfortable being a shoulder for you. They are there and they do care...they just need a boost from you. Good luck and hang in there....and remember you always have us!

 

[tkyes]

I'm so sorry you are going through this.



{{{{hugs}}}}


tamie

 

[Saffron]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way GEM. {{{{Hugs}}}} Sometimes people don't say anything because they don't know what to say, other times they don't want to cause anymore pain to you. {{{{Hugs}}}}

 

[Claudia1]

Another sister here. I have lost two babies and I think that some people just don't think of them as babies unless they are close to term when born.

We know differently, though, and I hope that you rest here often. Grief is tough, no matter what the situation, and you are at home here.

Hugs to you and prayers for your comfort.

 

[MerryPoppins]

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through all this. Find someone that you can open up to. I think if you start to talk, your friend will respond. Let someone know how you feel. A support group might be a great option. You'd be with a lot of ladies who would understand exactly what you are going through.

I agree that people just don't know what to say. And unfortunately, the baby just wasn't as real to other people yet as it was to you. Some people find it hard to grieve for someone they didn't know. It's different for you, since you were already in love with your baby. Hugs!

 

[nativetxn]

I'll listen and I'll talk with you GEM. I know exactly what you are saying. I've been in your situation too many times to even mention.

{{{HUGS}}} sweetie. Remember that we are always here for you and that we care. Sorry you are feeling sad today.

PM is on the way to you

 

[Kallison]

I'm sure your friends and family don't mean to be unkind, they probably don't know what to say or do. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Kitty 34]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you, Gem.

 

[NHAnn]

I'm sorry for your loss and your sadness.
"Dream" said what I was thinking better than I could say it

 

[NurseKim]

{{Hugs}} Gem.

 

[janette]

{{{HUGS}}} I hope your sadness gets a little easier.

 

[Kermit]

{{{Hugs}}} You're in my prayers.

Try not to let it bother you too much. People just don't understand what it's like. When I found out my pregnancy wasn't viable, I took them rest of that day and the next day off work. DH stayed home with me. My mom kept implying on the phone that DH should be back at work, even though it was his first child who had died. I also just got past my baby's due date with no acknowledgement at all from any of my family. I know that they didn't forget the date because it was my mom's birthday. I guess they think that by ignoring it, I'll "get over it" sooner, but I don't want to ever get all the way over it. My baby died, and I'm going to carry some of the sadness for the rest of my life.