Sad.....I miss my Mom.....

[CathrynRose]

My heart breaks for you. I totally understand. I look at my Mom's photo everyday & say "this is yet another day without you" & I wonder how I've gone on with my life since July 2, 2003. I was 43 when my Mom passed on & we lived together all but 3 months out of my life (when I was first married). Then my kids came along & she was like their second mother, let alone a Grandmother!

Funny thing is that my DS is now 10 y/o & yesterday he got into some trouble at school & had to meet with the Vice Principal. (He's normally a good kid...never has he been in trouble at school.) She wants to meet with me now since he ended up being in her office the rest of the afternoon (which I had no knowledge of) & he talked a lot about my Mom. I found out through his teacher this morning when we met at church for Ash Wednesday services. My DS didn't see me there so he has no idea I know what their discussion was about. So even after 2.5 years, this is still (obviously) a big issue for my DS. So keep an eye on yours. I'm only sorry I never took mine to counseling but I may now afterall! I went to counseling myself & if you haven't thought about it, it does seem to help a little. I was also on antidepressants. The combo of grief counseling, antidepressants & exercising really helped me along. It's still a very fresh wound for you but think about what I've mentioned here.

Anyway, I do understand your pain & it's deep & will be there forever altho people tell me that it does lessen. I'll let you know when it lessen's for me.

I'm so very sorry you're feeling like me. It's not a good feeling. Please feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk.

I also lived with my mom many, many years of my life. I was an only child - so I even lived with her when I was married - and as soon as I was divorced, back home I went.

My mom was also a 2nd Mom to my boys. And youre probably right about some sort of therapy or something. Danny will talk about it - Joey hasnt mentioned it once, and gets mad if I talk about it.

 

[Mishetta]

I also lived with my mom many, many years of my life. I was an only child - so I even lived with her when I was married - and as soon as I was divorced, back home I went.

My mom was also a 2nd Mom to my boys. And youre probably right about some sort of therapy or something. Danny will talk about it - Joey hasnt mentioned it once, and gets mad if I talk about it.

I have 2 sons & one talks about my Mom (almost daily) as if she's still here & the other DS (the one in trouble in school now) is like your Joey. Doesn't want to talk about my Mom & gets really angry if I say "lets talk about Meme." He just does not want to talk about her. You have to wonder what goes thru young minds during such a sad life changing event.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

When something happens in my life, I automatically call either my mom or my sister. Not too long ago I was wondering what my life would be like when they were gone.

Sorry you're missing your mother. It must be so tough.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Y'all are making me cry. I feel so bad for those of you who have lost your parents. Mine are getting up there in age and it scares me so much.

 

[goofy4tink]

I have 2 sons & one talks about my Mom (almost daily) as if she's still here & the other DS (the one in trouble in school now) is like your Joey. Doesn't want to talk about my Mom & gets really angry if I say "lets talk about Meme." He just does not want to talk about her. You have to wonder what goes thru young minds during such a sad life changing event.

Well, I was doing okay with this thead until I got to the Meme part. That was my mom. We've been without Meme for 2 1/2 years now...and while it's not quite as hard now, it's still difficult. My dd was so close to her Meme, but we're lucky because we can talk about her all the time. This morning, in church, I was really missing Mom.
Seems many of us have the exact same issues. Sometimes it makes it a bit easier to realize that you are not going through it alone...while we may not all be missing the same person, we are missing someone. Losing a mom is the hardest thing to deal with...outside of losing a child, and that's something that is just unimaginable to me.

 

[luvwinnie]

Im not looking for sympathy - boo-hoo me, or anything, but I am MISSING my Mom. It's only been a month (yesterday), and I started thinking "Gee, if all goes as planned and I like to be 70-ish - I have like 40 more years without her.

And Im sad for my boys - Like Ive said before, my youngest doesnt like his paternal Grandma - and was really, really close to my Mom.

THIS SUCKS!


Man - death is a real you-know-what, if you ask me.

Wow, I thought I was the ONLY one who thought of stuff like that. I had that SAME thought soon after my mom passed....that I could be alive longer WITHOUT my mom than WITH her and that thought makes me soooo sad too. All I can say is YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this grief.

 

[CathrynRose]

that I could be alive longer WITHOUT my mom than WITH her .

I had'nt thought of *THAT* yet - thanks a lot! (teasing you!)

I feel the range of emotions, and creepy, weird stuff you think of - its all normal, individualized for each person.

What bothers *me* lately - is Im having "night thoughts". Laying in bed - wanting to sleep and seeing her when she was in the hospital, etc.... those are driving me banana's right now...

 

[beavismom]

You are not alone. Grief does lessen over time although it doesn't go away. My Mom has been gone for 1 yr and 5 months and I still wonder if it is going to be her when my phone rings on a Saturday morning. Her birthday was last week and that combined with a bunch of other stuff has me feeling pretty blue, but I will shake myself out of it because she would never, ever want me to feel that way.

All those feelings you have (anger, disbelief, etc) are all part of the process though. I have had plenty of those too. My Mom died suddenly with no chance to say goodbye and it was so much worse for me than the slower death of my Dad where I had a chance to say goodbye. (I am glad she didn't suffer like he did though)

OK, I gotta get out of here and take a shower so I can have an excuse for my face being wet.

 

[beavismom]

What bothers *me* lately - is Im having "night thoughts". Laying in bed - wanting to sleep and seeing her when she was in the hospital, etc.... those are driving me banana's right now...

I was so in the same boat. I was keeping it a secret from my Mom that we were moving back to Texas. DH was actually in Texas interviewing when she went in the hospital. I talked to her that morning and she was doing ok and then that evening she was rushed into emergency surgery and died on the table. I will always wonder if she might have fought harder if she knew we were coming back. It doesn't keep me up at night anymore, but I will regret it always.

 

[AuntieM03]

As of 2 weeks ago it has been 25 years since I lost my mother. I was 12 when she died. Though some memories are really clear, there are some days when it is really hard to picture her, and I can no longer hear the sound of her voice. For the most part I am fine and at peace with her passing, but there are moments when it is still a struggle.

 

[luvwinnie]

I had'nt thought of *THAT* yet - thanks a lot! (teasing you!)

I feel the range of emotions, and creepy, weird stuff you think of - its all normal, individualized for each person.

What bothers *me* lately - is Im having "night thoughts". Laying in bed - wanting to sleep and seeing her when she was in the hospital, etc.... those are driving me banana's right now...

I still go over in my head all the stuff she went through the last 8 mths of her life...I wish there was an OFF button sometimes. Have you had any nice dreams about her?

 

[AuntieM03]

Wow, I thought I was the ONLY one who thought of stuff like that. I had that SAME thought soon after my mom passed....that I could be alive longer WITHOUT my mom than WITH her and that thought makes me soooo sad too. All I can say is YOU ARE NOT ALONE in this grief.

When I turned 25 I had that realization that I had lived longer without her. Now I am a year away from being the age she was when she died (39), and that is more of a struggle than I thought it would be. I now realize just how young she was.

 

[CathrynRose]

I still go over in my head all the stuff she went through the last 8 mths of her life...I wish there was an OFF button sometimes. Have you had any nice dreams about her?

I TOTALLY wish there was an "off" button.

I had a nice dream - it was *okay* - but I still woke up crying, literally....

 

[Hannathy]

Many of us sadly know what you are feeling and it hurts like heck and it will keep on hurting but in awhile you will get through a day and it will dawn on you that hey I went all day without getting that horrible rock in my stomach feeling thinking about Mom. Don't beat yourself up it takes a very long time. Night was always terrible for me, I often layed on the couch with the lights and tv on till I fell asleep because if I went to bed awake in the dark and quiet I couldn't stop thinking about her and couldn't fall asleep.It took a couple of years before I was comfortable enough in my own skin to like being alone and quiet again. I agee with the folks who say even now when one of the kids do or say something cute or get an award I still feel like I should call her and tell her. So I do I just talk to her in heaven and tell her how great her Gr. kids are turning out. My last Aunt just died this week so it is bringing up a lot of feelings right now so this thread is also comforting that lots of people share these feelings. Hugs to you and a shoulder to cry on.

 

[we3disneygo]

wow....i was just thinking about this the other day, I'm an only and when i was growing up it was just my mom and myself........just think about all the good times???

 

[Sandy V.]

When I turned 25 I had that realization that I had lived longer without her. Now I am a year away from being the age she was when she died (39), and that is more of a struggle than I thought it would be. I now realize just how young she was.

That's how I feel about my Dad, and he passed away in 1969 in a car accident when I was 9. That was almost 37 years ago, and he was 47 when he died. I am 46, and have thought a lot about turning 47 next year. My mom died at age 62, and I'm sure that will be a hard age for me as well should I (hopefully!) live that long.

Cathryn, I'm so sorry for your pain. Hugs to you and to everyone else on this thread who has lost a loved one.

 

[nliedel]

It's not boo hooey at all. My stepmother lost her mom a couple weeks ago at 96 and she is devastated, they were very close. I miss my Mom daily and she has been gone since I was 16. Hugs to you. It's OK to feel like this and let yourself cry.

 

[Nancyg56]

I am so sorry. I lost my Dad 27 years ago this month, and I miss him still. It is not the same pain as you suffer from now, but there is a void in my life that is always there, just not as sharp as before. I can't really explain how it changes, but that it does. I think that this will pale in comparison to losing my Mom though. She is 85 and starting to get a little frail. She has always been such a powerful, stablizing force in my life, as your Mom must have been. I will keep you in my thoughts, and hope that your memories of your Mom become a source of joy, and that your pain diminishes.

One thing I will share, Not too long after my Dad passed, I had a fright about my pregnancy. I can still fell my Dad's hands on my shoulders, just like he had always done when he was alive. I think that was a gift to me, because I remember that I knew everything would be okay after that.

 

[Martha7]

My Mom passed away at 70 years of age on the 4th of July of 2001, so she wasn't too young, (especially as a lifelong heavy smoker!), but it was terribly hard to lose her anyway. When she died, my DS's were 13 and 11. My brother's kids were 4 and 2. I always felt glad that my boys knew their grandmother and will be able to remember her. My brother's kids have no memory of her. to all of us who have lost our precious Moms! I try to feel as though she's still watching over us and that she'd be proud of us these days! We also try to remember the funny things and fond memories. When I'm sad, I generally hide it from the rest of the family, since I don't want to upset them. I do have happy dreams of her once in a while, which helps a lot. I actually had a great one last month, where we were together in DL! (She lived in So Cal). Fortunately, my in-laws are still with us, but it'll be very hard to lose either of them, since we're all so close, and since they're such great people!

 

[Mimi Q]