Haven't read the many pages of posts, but totally agree!
I just posted on another thread about how I am seriously peeved that this year the parish I'm in is offering the Confirmation kids service credit hours in return for donating money for toys for children in Iraq, for bringing materials to donate to a homeless shelter, and for taking part in the Angel Tree.
These are things we've always done to show our thankfulness for having the resources to do so. Mind you, I'm a single mom living on one income, so the money we spend on those things isn't "extra"...it means not eating out once or twice, waiting for movies to go to the dollar show instead of seeing them first run...etc.
This year my younger son chose a boy who wanted bug books. My older son chose a kid who wanted Star Wars toys. I spent about $25 for each gift.
Would I purchase a Wii...heck no! My own kids don't even have a Wii. My kids know they don't get everything they want....
Adding two personal anecdotes:
About three years ago it was during Christmas vacation and I ran into one of my students at the park. She came to me and was showing off the new shoes she got from the Angel tree at school. Every year the teachers adopted families from our school and bought them gifts. I asked why they had opened the gifts early, since Christmas was a few days away. She said it was no problem because they had the gifts from the Salvation Army and from a local Boys and Girls club to open on Christmas. Hearing that soured my attitude. Her family was going to every organization in town for gifts. It wasn't need...it was greed!
Then there was the time that 6 internet friends and I adopted a single mom and her two kids. Most of the things they wanted WERE needs...coats, sleepers for the baby, a high chair, winter clothing. When the charity came to pick the things up I helped carry them out to the car, and said I hoped we hadn't done too much...some of the ladies in our group addded treats (Avon products for the mom, for instance.) The lady from the charity said, no, what we'd done was fine. Often, though, they had businesses who would fill the back of a pick-up with items for one family. She said that in those cases the charity would sort through it and take out what they viewed as being "too much". The extras were kept in a warehouse for families who came in throughout the year.
I guess you'd say, I give cautiously. I had one Christmas where, due a medical emergency, there would have been no gifts for my older son had not several friends and coworkers come to me and said, "Here, God told me that you needed this." Amoung the things were a Sit-and-Spin, a board game, etc. I know what a blessing it was for me to have things under the tree. I don't want any parent to have to explain away the holiday due to lack of funds...but I want to make sure my money is going to help those who are truly without!