Ruined Christmas Surprises

[southerngrce]

Just posted before I head to work because I am so still so mad. Preface: every year it seems like someone opens a package from the mail or goes snooping for presents. This year I made it VERY clear to everyone not to open any packages and put all packages in my room when they arrive.

Black Friday I saw the Google Pixel phone on sale. DS2 is eligible for an upgrade and has cracks in phone. Talked to dH and we agree to get him this phone FOR CHRISTMAS. I ordered it, followed the tracking but Fed-Ex didn't arrive before I had to take DD to cheer. Called DS3 when he got home from school and he confirmed the package arrived and put it on my bedroom dresser. I asked who the package was from and DS3 says Fed-ex. I say no silly, what company? He says he doesn't know. So I was laughing about that with DH and certain it was the phone. When DH gets home from work he confirms it's DS2 phone. Okay no problem. I am wrapping things as they come in and DS3 already put the phone in my bedroom where DS2 never goes.

I walk in from cheer practice and DS2 is in the kitchen programming the phone!!!!! I was like... how the freak did he get the phone? He says dad gave it to him. I ask my DH and he says "well didn't you order the phone because his phone has cracks in it?" I said YES, but it was suppose to be a CHRISTMAS GIFT which means you DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM UNTIL CHRISTMAS! DH was just like "sorry, I didn't know you didn't want me to give it to him." REALLY, I AM FUMING AT THIS POINT! How many times have I told EVERYONE in this house NOT to open any packages and put them up. Why the heck would I order a phone on Black Friday when I was ordering all the other Christmas presents to give to him right away. DH says, well you said it was on sale, so I thought you ordered it for him because it was on sale, I didn't know you wanted it to be a Christmas present.

So it's hard enough to buy for DS2. I just paid for his motorcycle tow and new tire and told him that was part of his Christmas. He wants motorcycle wind pants I planned on buying but giving to him to use once his bike is repaired because he needs them in the morning as he drives to work at 5AM when it's cold. I had nothing else on my list to give to him!!!! And I am already over budget on presents.

Ugh.... I am still fuming. Why does every year something I order, someone ruins. DH is the worst. I can be talking to him about a birthday surprise gift for my daughter and said I am thinking about getting "A" or "B", which one do you think I should get. He answers but later that night driving to cheer he asks her "mom was looking at A or B, which one do you want?" She comes home and says she prefers "A". I was so mad because I wanted to surprise her, not give her a choice. He was like "oh I didn't know" then too.

I swear at this freaking point I need a PO Box and storage container and to just not involve DH at all.

Off to work.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I feel your pain--it's such a problem, you can't be on the porch 24/7 waiting for things to show up. Yesterday afternoon, I was walking to the car to take DD13 to dance class, when UPS pulls up with two boxes. DD doesn't knwo exactly what's in them, but she's not stupid--the Target and Amazon logos are printed right on the boxes.

Personally, I probably would have taken the phone away. Not as punishment, but because it was supposed to be a gift on Christmas morning. And I would have smacked my husband upside the head.

You might want to consider having a family rule that nobody opens any package until you've had a chance to check it. Although this is prime package season, people have birthdays or other "surprise" times throughout the year. Nobody should be opening a package that isn't addressed to them.

The snooping, well, that's another matter. Like you, I wrap as I go. I actually have a wrapping station set up in the MBR closet.

 

[Ensusieasm]

Just posted before I head to work because I am so still so mad. Preface: every year it seems like someone opens a package from the mail or goes snooping for presents. This year I made it VERY clear to everyone not to open any packages and put all packages in my room when they arrive.

Black Friday I saw the Google Pixel phone on sale. DS2 is eligible for an upgrade and has cracks in phone. Talked to dH and we agree to get him this phone FOR CHRISTMAS. I ordered it, followed the tracking but Fed-Ex didn't arrive before I had to take DD to cheer. Called DS3 when he got home from school and he confirmed the package arrived and put it on my bedroom dresser. I asked who the package was from and DS3 says Fed-ex. I say no silly, what company? He says he doesn't know. So I was laughing about that with DH and certain it was the phone. When DH gets home from work he confirms it's DS2 phone. Okay no problem. I am wrapping things as they come in and DS3 already put the phone in my bedroom where DS2 never goes.

I walk in from cheer practice and DS2 is in the kitchen programming the phone!!!!! I was like... how the freak did he get the phone? He says dad gave it to him. I ask my DH and he says "well didn't you order the phone because his phone has cracks in it?" I said YES, but it was suppose to be a CHRISTMAS GIFT which means you DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM UNTIL CHRISTMAS! DH was just like "sorry, I didn't know you didn't want me to give it to him." REALLY, I AM FUMING AT THIS POINT! How many times have I told EVERYONE in this house NOT to open any packages and put them up. Why the heck would I order a phone on Black Friday when I was ordering all the other Christmas presents to give to him right away. DH says, well you said it was on sale, so I thought you ordered it for him because it was on sale, I didn't know you wanted it to be a Christmas present.

So it's hard enough to buy for DS2. I just paid for his motorcycle tow and new tire and told him that was part of his Christmas. He wants motorcycle wind pants I planned on buying but giving to him to use once his bike is repaired because he needs them in the morning as he drives to work at 5AM when it's cold. I had nothing else on my list to give to him!!!! And I am already over budget on presents.

Ugh.... I am still fuming. Why does every year something I order, someone ruins. DH is the worst. I can be talking to him about a birthday surprise gift for my daughter and said I am thinking about getting "A" or "B", which one do you think I should get. He answers but later that night driving to cheer he asks her "mom was looking at A or B, which one do you want?" She comes home and says she prefers "A". I was so mad because I wanted to surprise her, not give her a choice. He was like "oh I didn't know" then too.

I swear at this freaking point I need a PO Box and storage container and to just not involve DH at all.

Off to work.

In both cases I don't think your husband was intentionally trying to ruin your plans. This boils down to communication problems caused by vast differences in how males and females communicate. Men don't read between the lines the way women do. Here is an example: Let's say you are on a long drive with your husband and you start to feel hungry and you remember a restaurant up ahead a couple of miles. So, you might say " I'm getting a little hungry. I think Yummy Burger is just ahead." A couple miles further your husband drives right past Yummy Burger. You get angry and start yelling at him. He says, " Why didn't you tell me to stop?". In your mind you think you did, but actually, you never did say those exact words. So, what I'm trying to get at is that it is better to communicate in exact words instead of leaving anything to be figured out or left "between the lines". Save that kind of chatting for you and your female friends. You'll notice things going a lot smoother in your relationship with your husband once he doesn't have to try to translate female speak into his male mind.

 

[DisneyRobin]

Try not to be mad. Just tell DS2 that he can keep it now but he should consider it one of his gifts...that he shouldn't expect much else. The phone was his big gift and as a bonus he gets to start using it early.

It's a bummer but try to take it in stride and not get upset. You'll be better off feeling happy than being angry.

Merry Christmas!!

 

[Malibustyle23]

Sorry I don't blame your husband and while I understand your frustration I think you may be overreacting with your "anger".

You technically never said it was a Christmas present and assuming someone else knows your intentions will just cause you issues. He also probably thought he was being helpful asking your daughter. Men (and many people)would rather someone have their preferred choice than be surprised.

Relax it will all be ok. Get your son some cheap phone accessories and remind him the phone was his gift as well.

 

[southerngrce]

I worked BF and was just reading our text about presents for all the kids. He asked DS3 if he wanted new phone and texted me he said no. Talked to him about DD gifts too. Entire text thread was about gifts that included the phone for DS2. The phone was the first gift we discussed. Theres no question I stated the phone was a present.

And no question that I have told everyone several times for no one to open any packages, to put them all in my room for me.

 

[perditax]

One of my local "pack and ship" places rents out boxes pretty cheap and will receive packages for me too. It has a normal street address you use, so no problems with delivery from any service. The delivery services here (including UPS) are constantly unable to find our complex for some reason, or they refuse to come to our unit and leave it at the office instead, usually five minutes before the office closes. So I get much of my stuff delivered to the package service instead. Much less frustrating. This sounds like it could work for you, and turns it into a situation you have full control over.

I do agree with a PP that you may want to let a little of this anger go, though. It's Christmas.

(Also I was super confused because when people say things like "DS2" I always thought it meant the child's age, so I was like "wow, toddlers get smart phones these days, go figure." Heh.)

 

[southerngrce]

One of my local "pack and ship" places rents out boxes pretty cheap and will receive packages for me too. It has a normal street address you use, so no problems with delivery from any service. The delivery services here (including UPS) are constantly unable to find our complex for some reason, or they refuse to come to our unit and leave it at the office instead, usually five minutes before the office closes. So I get much of my stuff delivered to the package service instead. Much less frustrating. This sounds like it could work for you, and turns it into a situation you have full control over.

I do agree with a PP that you may want to let a little of this anger go, though. It's Christmas.

(Also I was super confused because when people say things like "DS2" I always thought it meant the child's age, so I was like "wow, toddlers get smart phones these days, go figure." Heh.)

I am going to get a PO box now. But I already have about 8 more packages enroute.

I have 3 sons 1 daughter and have used their ages before or their sibling order. LOL.
They are 24, 22, 14, 13.

 

[loves to dive]

I have things like that shipped to work, no problems then.

 

[TwoMisfits]

I've given early and kept the box - on Christmas, I rewrap the box to open and have a nice note in the box saying I hope they are already greatly enjoying the gift they got b/c it was so sweet (you can add a chocolate bar if it fits. I'd do that for both gifts he got early (the phone and the tire (the tire, you might have to just wrap some newspaper in a circle), so he can unwrap with everyone without you having to do any more shopping...

 

[amcnj]

I've given early and kept the box - on Christmas, I rewrap the box to open and have a nice note in the box saying I hope they are already greatly enjoying the gift they got b/c it was so sweet (you can add a chocolate bar if it fits. I'd do that for both gifts he got early (the phone and the tire (the tire, you might have to just wrap some newspaper in a circle), so he can unwrap with everyone without you having to do any more shopping...

That's what I was going to suggest, wrap the empty box! I guess there might be some low cost add-ons like a screen protector or case you could give then too.

 

[aprilchem]

I would just tell him that is his gift, and he gets no presents on Christmas.

In my house, if you snoop and find your presents they get returned. I've had to do it one time - my middle son and his cousin went snooping for presents two years ago and found my stash (under my bed, so they were definitely not found by accident) and they all went back to the store. I have no patience for that kind of stuff. They have never tried to snoop around again!

 

[wenrob]

In both cases I don't think your husband was intentionally trying to ruin your plans. This boils down to communication problems caused by vast differences in how males and females communicate. Men don't read between the lines the way women do. Here is an example: Let's say you are on a long drive with your husband and you start to feel hungry and you remember a restaurant up ahead a couple of miles. So, you might say " I'm getting a little hungry. I think Yummy Burger is just ahead." A couple miles further your husband drives right past Yummy Burger. You get angry and start yelling at him. He says, " Why didn't you tell me to stop?". In your mind you think you did, but actually, you never did say those exact words. So, what I'm trying to get at is that it is better to communicate in exact words instead of leaving anything to be figured out or left "between the lines". Save that kind of chatting for you and your female friends. You'll notice things going a lot smoother in your relationship with your husband once he doesn't have to try to translate female speak into his male mind.

I don't know, how much clearer can "do NOT open any boxes" be? When you're the one in charge of making Christmas happen and something like this happens you're left scrambling to figure something else out. I would be very upset too. Mostly because my DH was not paying attention to what I was saying. There may have been some confusion on the intention of the phone but if you have the directive of don't open anything then don't open anything! My DH would be highly insulted if I repeatedly reminded him that the boxes arriving this time of year were for Christmas because I'd be treating him like a kid. Once should be enough.

OP, I'm sorry this happened. I feel you. Now you have a kid with nothing to open on Christmas morning. Maybe a nice case and some earbuds to open?

 

[QVCshopper]

Really, this would not even upset me. I often give my youngest a few of her Christmas gifts throughout December because then she's not getting everything on one day. Even DH and I bought Mickey/Minnie PJs from Hanna Andersson and starting wearing them right away so we don't miss the month prior to wear them. I'm only giving myself a few gifts that fit in a stocking on Christmas Day. With so much badness in the world, I *really* try to not let the small stuff get to me. Neither your son nor your DH meant anything bad.

 

[ceecee]

Sounds as if he is old enough to know it's a Christmas gift. Tell him you can take it and wrap it or he can have it early...then wrap the box for him to open. Bummer the surprise is ruined. I'm sure your DH didn't mean to ruin the surprise, but have another talk with him so it doesn't happen again.

 

[iivye]

I would just tell him that is his gift, and he gets no presents on Christmas.

In my house, if you snoop and find your presents they get returned. I've had to do it one time - my middle son and his cousin went snooping for presents two years ago and found my stash (under my bed, so they were definitely not found by accident) and they all went back to the store. I have no patience for that kind of stuff. They have never tried to snoop around again!

I remember snooping when I was a kid and finding one of my presents. My mom was so mad she gave it to my brother instead of me (they were glitter pens).

If I order something big or easily recognizable by the box, I have it sent to my parents' house (grandparents of my daughter). Other than that my daughter doesn't really notice what packages we receive because I already do a lot of online ordering and she isn't a snoop so I can easily keep everything in my closet.

 

[Happyinwonerland]

I think you need to take a step back, calm down, and realize this is not a big deal. There are so much worse things that could happen. And I don't think you should punish your son with no gifts on Christmas morning-this wasn't his fault. Your hubby gave it to him.

Was the phone free? You mentioned your son was eligible for the upgrade.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

I would have given him the phone too in this situation. I would have never put 2 and 2 together that it was supposed to be for Christmas, but then again I don't see Christmas surprises as a priority. I much prefer making sure everyone is happy with their gift by asking.

 

[southerngrce]

This was really the only gift I planned for him to open. I already gave him the reimbursement for the tow and tire. I guess now I will give him an Amazon gift card. There are no other presents planned. He recently moved back home and hasn't moved all his stuff from the other state. (He was living with his bio dad where he was working and intially planned on going back, so he didn't bring everything. He actually only came back for a week to house/dog sit while the rest of us went on vacation. *per my request for him to house/dog sit). I recently also bought him new clothes, socks, underwear, and gear he needed for his new job here, which is why he wasn't getting a lot to begin with.

 

[southerngrce]

I think you need to take a step back, calm down, and realize this is not a big deal. There are so much worse things that could happen. And I don't think you should punish your son with no gifts on Christmas morning-this wasn't his fault. Your hubby gave it to him.

Was the phone free? You mentioned your son was eligible for the upgrade.

No it was $199 with 2 year contract or $650 without contract. Plus an upgrade charge.

Punishment? Where did that come from? Budget has been expended.