Rude Host or Rude Guest?

[RitaZ.]

OMG! Your BIL was in the wrong for sure. Is your sister afraid of her husband that she didn't speak up?

I would have called a taxi to take me to a nice, air conditioned hotel

Definitely!

 

[va32h]

And BTW--the OP also comes from a warm weather climate--Texas.

Yes, I do live in Texas -- and I keep my thermostat no higher than 74.

I was talking about this with my mom last night, and one thing that she pointed out was that it really doesn't matter if someone else thinks that 80 is too hot or just right. If you're hot, you're hot, and someone else telling you that you shouldn't feel hot isn't going to make you feel one bit cooler.

 

[palmtreegirl]

Yes, I do live in Texas -- and I keep my thermostat no higher than 74.

I was talking about this with my mom last night, and one thing that she pointed out was that it really doesn't matter if someone else thinks that 80 is too hot or just right. If you're hot, you're hot, and someone else telling you that you shouldn't feel hot isn't going to make you feel one bit cooler.

 

[momrek06]

Yes, I do live in Texas -- and I keep my thermostat no higher than 74.

I was talking about this with my mom last night, and one thing that she pointed out was that it really doesn't matter if someone else thinks that 80 is too hot or just right. If you're hot, you're hot, and someone else telling you that you shouldn't feel hot isn't going to make you feel one bit cooler.

 

[LoraJ]

Yes, I do live in Texas -- and I keep my thermostat no higher than 74.

I was talking about this with my mom last night, and one thing that she pointed out was that it really doesn't matter if someone else thinks that 80 is too hot or just right. If you're hot, you're hot, and someone else telling you that you shouldn't feel hot isn't going to make you feel one bit cooler.

Iwas just about to say this. lol.

 

[lecach]

I think BIL and SIL were way out of line. They should have accomodated you more with the temperature. They didnt have to drop it to 60 - just a few degrees would have made a huge difference. I dont think BIL wanted you there honestly.

I hope you dont mind me jumping in but for once I have a nice inlaw story about temperature. Usually when we would visit SIL and BIL their house would be SO cold. I would take a jacket even in summer time. Once FIL made the following comment "it's cold in here - are you killing hogs?" because in NC they slaughter hogs when it gets cold outside. Anyway, last week we sold our house - the new house isnt ready til next week. So SIL and BIL said we could stay with them for 2 weeks. I was worried about the temp but would never have said anything. When its too cold you can always add clothes.

The first night we arrive the house is a perfect temp (to me). They raised it to a more "normal" temp without a word being said by us - because they knew that WE would be more comfortable. Even though its probably too warm for them. Isn't that nice? They've really gone far out of their way to make us comfortable. Even bought DH's favorite soda. And not complaining about DS (18 mths old) making noise or messes. Boy - I am going to owe them BIG TIME!!

 

[geetey]

It's already been done, and it helped but didn't totally cure the situation. The problem is that we have a radiant barrier on the roof, which doesn't allow any heat in during the part of the day that the sun hits the roof. The sun hitting the WINDOWS on the other hand allows a lot of solar energy in. MY room gets no "direct" sunlight at all though the wondows while DS's gets direct sunlight theough the windows from mid-afternoon on.

Anne

Sorry. Just trying to help. We had lots of fun trying to get things best in that house. The foyer was an oven -- it was 2 stories with lots of windows and got afternoon sun. It was a new subdivision so no trees to help out either. We finally got the windows tinted and that made a HUGE difference. Maybe that would help with your ds's room? We tinted the entire front of our house, tweaked the dampers and were good.

 

[Billmel]

I didn't finish reading all the way through stopped at page 3.

If the t-stat is set on 80, and it is 105 outside(which it has been in Las Vegas lately), the a/c could possibly run all day long and never reach 80 degrees in the house, which means it could have been hotter than the set 80 degrees. I work for an HVAC co. and asked my Service Manager, and he said it is possible that the unit could be set at 80, with outside temps as high as they are in LV, and it never cool down to 80, and actually stay between 85-90 in the house, with the temperature variance.

 

[mickeyfan2]

So who was wrong? My cheapskate BIL for not spending a few bucks to make his company comfortable, or me for wanting to stay somewhere where we could be comfortable?

You BIL and your sister. How dare they have a window A/C unit for thier room and keep the quest uncomfortable. Your sister should have also stood up to her husband and told him that they would be "breaking" the rules during your visit. I would have called a cab to either go to the hotel or go home early.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I think it's rude of your BIL to have the central a/c set at a nightly setting when there are guests in the house that is warm enough that they still have to turn on their room a/c. In general I understand why they do it that way, but not when there are guests in the house. And they should keep it cool enough in the house during the day that you are comfortable. However, you shouldn't expect that it's going to be as cool as you maybe would prefer it since different people like it different temps.

My college DD complains that I keep the house too warm in summer. If I kept it as cool as she would like it I would go broke. There are no trees (we have planted trees, but they are not yet big enough to help with shading) and it's a big house with lots of windows, so we can't keep it feeling like a refrigerator, but we try to keep it cool enough to be comfortable. The ironic thing is that when she came home this winter she wanted it super warm.

As far as the water heater--that's very rude! If there are guests in the house, it should be on so that they can shower during the day. That's odd that he would have it go off when other people are in the house.

 

[diznygirl]

The exact opposite happened to us at SIL's house. She and hubby like it COLD - they lived on hill in SF and slept at night in November with the windows open while it was raining!! We slept 3 nights there. When we mentioned how cold we were, we were just told that's the way they like it.

We DID get a hotel!!!

It's rude to ignore the comfort of your guests.

 

[GraysMom]

A side story:
I drove from south Florida all the way to Flint, MI to visit my best friend. She had known for 6 months that we were coming. Now originally I offered to book a hotel room for DH and I but she wouldn't hear of it. So, upon arrival we are bonbarded by toys being thrown at us by their 3 year old, dishes piled in the sink and NO WHERE for us to sleep. She put blankets and pillows on the floor that was never vaccumed by the way. We wound up sleeping on the floor 2 nights when I made up an emergency back at home that we had to leave early for. I just couldn't stand the way she planned/prepared for us to stay with her. I was so surprised by her actions or non-actions. This is a girl I was best friends with since 6th grade and here she was a 25 year old mother. She was raised better then that and I could not understand what she was doing. After arriving home and writing her a letter explaining the truth of the matter she was so mad at me! Her responding letter was nasty and bitter and still to this day I haven't spoken to her again. That was 11 years ago.
I personally think I am better off. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

So, next time either make something up like I did and take off or tell the truth and take off. It's your choice but you have to do something.

This reminds me of a story my friend was just telling me. Her friend in Las Vegas had invited her and her 16 mo son to come out and visit for a week (DH and the other 2 kids stayed home because of school). She was really looking forward to a mini vacation and visiting with her friends 2 kids (3 mo and 2 1/2 yo). Well, she gets there and the only thing to eat/drink in the entire house is bottled water and 4 slices of bread! Nothing for the toddlers to eat or the adults . The hostess made no attempt to go get food or order takeout (luckily my friend had packed snacks for her son since that's all he had to eat the whole time). They also refused to turn their AC on at all even though it was 104 degrees outside! On top of that, the window wouldn't open in the bedroom she and her son were sharing (and by sharing I mean also sharing 1 twin mattress for both of them) so it really was like a sauna. She ended up paying almost $200 to get an earlier flight home she was so miserable.

As for the OP, I'm sorry you had to suffer in the heat. We usually keep our AC around 76 degrees during the day (I'm a SAHM) but turn it down to 70 at night. The reason we turn it down is because the upstairs at our house is about 10 degrees warmer since our AC unit can't force as much air upstairs (we're looking in to a new unit that hopefully would be able to cool the house evenly). Maybe her sister's house has the same problem?

GraysMom

 

[hellokitty86]

Ugh. I always have this problem when I go to visit my parents. They always leave their air on at 81 degrees and it is just miserable. (They live in South Florida, where I was raised.) They did this when I lived with them too, I just couldn't stand it!! Personally, I'm the type that gets over-heated way too fast. If I'm hot, I get very dizzy and sick feeling (and cranky!!) I find myself sneaking out of my childhood room at night and during down the air (naughty, naughty!!)

I'm home all day and I keep my house at about 70 degrees. Even in the winter (I live in Northern Virginia) I have to put the air on, because when I'm sleeping I CANNOT be hot.

OP, I'm so sorry your vacation was like this! I can't believe your BIL would do something like that, I would think your sister would tell him the reason you HAD to put the air on during the day, instead of him just turning it up like a jerk.

Anyways, next time just get a hotel where you can control the temperature.

Sorry this is so long!!!