RIP Kate Spade

[kandb]

Try not to be too hard on the PP. Her POV isn’t uncommon and it’s really important that we try and foster understanding.

To the PP: My sister has a mental illness. Her primary symptom is paranoia. When she is at her sickest, her brain is telling her that doctors and nurses want to kill her. She won’t even leave her house because she thinks the birds are in on it too. She won’t listen to her family either because we too want her dead. She is not capable in that frame of mind to recognize that 1) she is really really sick and 2) to get help from the people she believes want to kill her.

You are thinking like a person without a mental illness about getting help. My dad sometimes does that too. I just have to keep repeating that my sister’s brain has a different reality from ours and it’s as real to her as ours is to us.

Thank you for your understanding. I am not putting down anyone with mental illness. I know and love people who suffer from mental illness and know many (thankfully) who have gotten help and are living good lives due to getting help. My main focus is that people should NEVER feel stigmatized by a mental illness. There is help and people should never not reach out because of embarrassement/feeling ashamed. I see that people are very sensitive about this issue. I was not meaning to judge anyone, I just want people to get help when they need it. I am sure there are some who getting help does not help them but I do not think this is the majority. I know many who have gotten help and are living good lives and just wanted to say, PLEASE get help if you need it. It's OK, your family and friends will understand and you have nothing to feel ashamed about. Peace.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I posted a corresponding article on the Bourdain thread as well.

This is from the American Association of Suicidology:

Designer Kate Spade Dies at 55
Businesswoman’s Death Highlights Mental Health Risks for Women

Kate Spade, American fashion designer and businesswoman, died today at the age of 55 from a reported suicide. We urge the press to take note that research shows responsible reporting can help save the lives of others with mental health conditions. 28 women die by suicide every day in the US and over 10,200 women take their own lives each year (CDC, 2017). For middle-aged women, suicide remains among the top 10 leading causes of death.

While the suicide rate is rising consistently across demographic groups, risk peaks for women in middle age. There was a 127.67% increase in suicide deaths of women aged 45-64 between 1999 and 2016 (CDC, 2017). According to the CDC, 4,253 women from this age group died from suicide in 2016.

"Women of any socio-demographic group can die by suicide. People who are suicidal often find it difficult to see past their successes, their families or anything but their current struggle,” says Julie Cerel, PhD, President of the American Association of Suicidology.

Many of Spade’s fans may question why someone so successful might die by suicide. While each suicide is unique to the individual, it is important to recognize warning signs of suicide in those around us. In the case of women in middle age, some of these warning signs might manifest as financial, professional, and relationship difficulties, as well as social isolation and increased substance use. If you or someone you know have had thoughts of suicide, seek professional help.

Resources available for support:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 800-273-8255 Crisis Text Line - Text START to 741 741
TREVOR Project - 866-488-7386
Trans Lifeline - 877-565-8860

http://www.suicidology.org/Portals/14/docs/Press Release/Kate Spade Press Release.pdf

 

[ronandannette]

I don't think that is necessarily true.

People are complex. I won't go back over some issues in my family. But
I can tell you that the people who couldn't fully understand, and were harsh at times with their thoughts, were also loving people.

And sometimes people grow up in an environment that doesn't foster complete understanding - and being open to it, just a get on with life and do what needs to be done approach.

And not just whether you deal with it Disneylover99, because many understand when they have no friends/family suffering from it. I certainly understood before my family member became ill.

But having it on your doorstep can make things clearer for some.

I find that every friend or family member that struggles to understand just happens to be more of a black and white thinker, struggles to see the in between in life. Also, the kind of person who might lean more to a soldier on in life outlook (which is the worst way of thinking around/for those with depression/suicidal tendencies). My own mother was very much like that. Loving as can be, but struggled more to understand.

Just an observation, obviously not everyone.

Thank you Lisa, for your gracious attempt to recognize the thinking of those of us who may be labeled (or label ourselves) as "not getting it". For me, it actually became more vague and confusing when it hit home. First there was the challenge to come to terms with the extreme changes in the person I'd always known and loved. It is/was so, so hard to wrap my head around the idea that my dear one won't just go back to being "herself". And the irrational things that are done which are so completely counter-productive to wellness, and what seems like a very purposeful rejection of efforts to reason or help.

I absolutely accept it's not a matter of "manning up" but on the other hand, I have no idea what it will take, or if there is even any real hope, based on all the information available. For those of us that are black-and-white "something must be done so let's get at it" types, it's unthinkable that we're sitting here powerless but for to say gentle, kind things about our loved ones after they're gone.