Revenge??

[Pegasus928]

A week ago my DS (14, Aspergers, ADHD and very naive and easily led) told a stranger in a chat room what his MSN password was.
We have had the chats with him about the importance of keeping your password a secret - both before and after the incident - but as those of you who know children with his condition will appreciate some things are easier to get across than others.
Anyway as a result of this we began to experience 'difficutlies' with his MSN account. The first thing we knew about it was when DW was sat on her laptop and DS signed in, followed by a load of abuse and insults. I went straight upstairs ready to confiscate his laptop only to find he never even had it turned on. He then owned up to what had happened and we tried to retrieve control of his account using the 'forgot my password' facility. This seemed to work but only 2 minutes later we were signed out. We did the same again and this time deleted all his contacts as soon as we got access - 2 minutes later we were signed out again. When we tried to change the password again we found that the security question had been changed and we didn't know the answer. We were locked out
As this was all happening DS told us that his Facebook account was also linked to his MSN and - would you believe - we couldn't get into that account either and all sorts of messages to his Grandma, Aunties and friends had started to appear.
DW then decided to contact Microsoft and explain the situation to them to see if they could help. We didn't hold out much hope to be honest but they came through and sent us an email telling us how to regain control. We followed the instructions and made sure the first thing we did when we got back into his MSN was to go and change his security question and the alternative email address that they send a new password to.
When we got to that page we were surprised to see that whoever it was that was abusing his accounts had changed some of DS details to their own - and had put in their own email address and postcode. Using this email address I went on to Facebook and managed to find out who it was and got his full name
DW then used his full name, together with his postcode, and went on the web to find out his address and phone number

So now the dilema we have is what to do with all the information we have. We have toyed with the idea of spending a Friday night ordering him pizzas, chinese, taxis etc. Or using his email to sign up for surveys and ticking the 'yes let everyone send me their information' box.
But there is something in the back of our heads telling us we shouldn't go down that route.
What would you do if you was in our situation, having just had a week where you have had to continuously contact friends and relatives and explain that all these messages weren't really from our DS, and getting increasingly frustrated and angry that someone was locked in their bedroom somewhere causing us this much stress just so they could have a laugh.

 

[Chilly]

I'd be very tempted to get revenge as it would teach them a lesson but it would be the taxi/chinese etc that would be the victims.

 

[pixiepower04]

In my head I would want revenge, big style, but as Claire said the taxi etc would be the victims.

I would however, maybe contact a "cyber" crimes unit at the police and see if they can go and 'have a word' because you have proof.

Failing that I would go to their house find out which car is theirs and stick some rotton fish up the exhaust or a banana Eddie Murphy style (i'm joking by the way - just trying to evoke a laugh at the Eddie Murphy thing).

 

[natalielongstaff]

im not a huge fan of revenge, i don't think you will feel any better in the long run

i hope you get some sort of result !

 

[Head_in_the_clouds]

I wouldn't take it upon myself to seek revenge - I really don't think it would achieve anything and, as someone whose parents run small businesses, I also think it would be unfair on the chinese and taxi firms etc at a time when things are hard enough economically without people wasting your time and energy. I would take the higher ground if I were you, also if you get into things like that, you never know where it can end up, there are some really crazy people out there - look at that woman who complained at the kids making noise in the Harry Potter film who got bleach poured all over her and was nearly blinded! I think reporting it to the police is the best thing you could do, as I do agree tat this person needs to learn a lesson. If you put it from the point of view that your son is a vulnerable member of the community, the police may take it more seriously too. I'm sorry that this has happened and caused your family so much distress .

 

[wayneg]

DS had his Habbo Hotel account hacked last year, built it up to a very valuable account probably worth about £500-600, The company that run Habbo did not want to know so glad Microsoft have helped you.
As for revenge, difficult. These people need to be taught a lesson but not by affecting others.

 

[bronny]

My son has ADHD so i understand completely the problems you are going through! I have told his so many times not to do something but he just can't remember! I would feel exactly the same, do you know if the hijacker was an adult or a child? If he is an adult then I would be tempted to contact the police as the messages he sent are classed as harrassment. Although I had a similar - and very nasty experience - with someone who randomly started sending messages to my phone. Unfortunately as I had no idea who was sending them the police were unable to help and I was forced to change my number. Its good that you have discovered who is doing this, he obviously needs to be sorted out!

 

[Goofyish]

Perhaps you could do something that will have no financial consequences on a third party but would just annoy the person involved - like sending for a few dozen free catalogues, signing him up for websites where they send you hundreds of special offer emails etc..

 

[florida sun]

Im with Nat, not really one for revenge, I dont believe 2 wrongs make a right, and although the other person did wrong, will you feel anybetter for doing the same thing back? Sorry to hear this happened to you though, there are some nasty people out there

 

[~Piglet~]

Hi, if you have this persons name and address etc why not give them a call! I bet it would scare the heck out of 'him' to have a stranger on the phone telling him he knows exactly what he has been doing (to other peoples accounts) and that you know where he lives etc.... it would certainly freak me out if someone I didn't know told me my name, address and phone number.

 

[aaronandterri]

was it another child or an adult, id be tempted to talk to the parents if it was a child, or send round the mob if it was an adult (only joking....well sort of)

 

[joolz1910]

I'm sorry to hear you had such a horrible experience. Like others, I would phone and ask to speak to Mr or Mrs X (hopefully getting a parent on the phone) and tell them what their son/daughter has been up to. If they are OK, I would let them deal with it, if they are in any way rude, I would contact the police. What this person has done is illegal.

The same sort of thing happened to one of my colleagues - her mobile was stolen and the student sent obscene and abusive messages to everyone in her contacts. She was so upset. There are some mean people out there.

 

[cherjp]

I would go straight to the police and report this as you dont know what could have happenend if you hadnt found out in time, this person a dangerous sick individual and needs to be stopped.

 

[Minniespal]

As appealing as it is, I'm not a fan of revenge.

I remember reading a quote years ago that said, 'Before setting out for revenge, first dig two graves'.

In the long run I think revenge does more harm than good. At the end of the day this child may well have caused your DS some distress. He is a child though whereby you are adults.

If you have details could you not contact the parents of the boy and tell them what he has been up to?

 

[Lizzybear]

I like the idea of actually ringing the number yourself if you're comfortable doing that. If it is a kid then that may just be the sort of scare they need to make them realise that what they've done is serious and has affected someone 'real' rather than a name on the internet.

 

[Pegasus928]

Wrong post

 

[Pegasus928]

Thanks guys.
I think we might try to see if there is anyone who will be prepared to look into this on our behalf. From what we can tell the person in question is late teens as opposed to child age - though I could be wrong. And as someone has pointed out if we start contacting them etc it could open up a big can of worms making us as bad as them.
The advice on here was welcome as it gave us a chance to cool down once the red mist had descended - and who knows where that could have led

 

[15isto2]

Are you 100% sure that it is the correct person you have, could they have put someones stolen e-mail and postcode on?

Can you work out their ISP from the e-mail, if so, you could report them?

You could mention to them in an e-mail or phone call about how an adult chatting to a 14yo might look to people?

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

Did you manage to regain control of your sons Facebook?

I don't get why someone would hack someones account and change the details to themselves etc.....very very petty.

 

[Pegasus928]

Did you manage to regain control of your sons Facebook?

I don't get why someone would hack someones account and change the details to themselves etc.....very very petty.

Yes we got control back of Facebook.
The only reason they did it was to cause havoc, stress and offence to people.