Retirement + who makes lunch?

[disykat]

Dh retires in two days. I am already partially retired. In our marriage I'm head cook. On Saturdays he imakes his own lunch just like he makes his own lunches for work. I've already broken it to him that I'm still only cooking one meal a day. He took it like a champ.

We have a road trip planned, so it'll be a while before we settle into a routine. I'd love to hear the scoop though. What do your days look like? Was it an easy transition? I only work per diem now and am keeping it open as to how much I'll work, but since we're going to be gone for most of October I have zero days booked after Friday. I'm starting to feel nervous about the unknown! We've been on such a roller coaster with family obligations and suddenly everything is clearing up and the future seems wide open.

So give me the good, bad, and ugly about retired life...but mostly the good!

 

[Jangles]

No advice, but I am sure that you will have a fabulous time together. Enjoy your road trip.

 

[clh2]

Congrats! Have a great time on Your trip!

My DH retires at the end of October, so our routines will definitely be changing. I still have perhaps 1,5 years left, but I’m WFH 4 days a week, so it will be interesting to see how things change! Perhaps…he can make me lunch??? Just kidding…I would be sick of chicken nuggets and tater tots by the 2nd day!

 

[Micca]

Congrats to both of you on retirement. I've been retired for years, DW just retired at the end of May.

With respect to cooking, DW and I don't generally eat the same things or at the same time for breakfast/lunch. We do have dinner together every night, but we usually just prepare whatever it is we're each having.

Our DGDs live 5 minutes away and we spend a lot of time providing transportation and accommodations for them.

We have some bucket list travel in the works, otherwise most days are pretty chill. Enjoy this time, I know a number of people who must continue to work. We are very fortunate.

 

[lynxstch]

@Micca said--"With respect to cooking, DW and I don't generally eat the same things or at the same time for breakfast/lunch. We do have dinner together every night, but we usually just prepare whatever it is we're each having."

Same here. DH retired in early 2020. I am still the cook 95% of the time, he only does it on special occasions, or when he has to. I am not a breakfast person, so I leave it to him to make his own most of the time. I don't care for a lot of what he eats, and he doesn't care for a lot of what I eat, so it's almost always different.

 

[georgina]

Breakfast/lunch (or brunch) is separately done on what ever schedule we are each on. I tend to get up earlier and eat earlier. DH stays up later at night and gets up later. I usually make dinner for us both.

 

[PollyannaMom]

I'm semi-retired (for now - I'll probably do something else eventually) and DH works from home 3 days a week and at the office 2.

I do usually make his lunch on the days he's home, since he's way busier than me, but that sort if thing has shifted one way and the other a lot over the years.

In your situation, I definitely think you made the right call to have him continue making his own lunch. He's going to be less busy, not more.

Have fun on your road trip!

 

[mrodgers]

Whoever made dinner the night before has already made lunch the next day in my world.

 

[AndreaDM]

Not retired, but we both work remote so are home together all day. Lunches can be anything from leftovers the night before, a salad or sandwich (made individually by whoever wants it), or very occasionally we door dash something. All that to say, we are both responsible for our own lunches. We had dinner out last night, I had leftovers I will have for lunch today. I have no clue what he will have, probably a sandwich. Fridge is pretty bare right now so it's slim pickins lol.

 

[luvnwdwgal]

My husband retired in May. I quit working in 2011. I’ve always made dinner whether I was working full time or watching grandkids 50 hours a week. Now he’s home and asking “what’s for breakfast?” and “what’s for lunch?”. I told him he’s on his own. I’ve been making dinner and washing dishes for over 40 years and I’m tired of it. I’m not about to do 3 meals a day. I told him just the other day that I didn’t get married just to be his servant. I think he’s getting the hint because he’s becoming much more agreeable with me towards what I want to do for dinner. If he doesn’t make himself any breakfast or lunch then he goes hungry. He’s a grown man.

 

[Meriweather]

Been retired for 10 years or so.
I cook....or fix breakfast. We have 4 things we rotate through for dietary reasons. All are fairly easy
On our own for lunch. DH usually eats leftovers. I usually eat open faced turkey or roast beef or tuna sandwich and some fruit.
I cook dinner......because he can't cook!!

 

[soccerdad72]

We're not retired, but I work from home 2-3 days a week and my wife is full time working from home.

Lunches vary when I'm home - one or two days, I might cook up something. Otherwise, we both just fend for ourselves from leftovers. I sometime cook breakfast for us as well.

I cook dinner most nights - but I've been doing that for years. We both can cook - I just prefer to do it.

 

[tvguy]

My wife and I retired on the same day 14 months ago. So far, so good.
After more than a decade of going to bed at 7 pm and getting up at 2 am to be at work at 3 am our first retirement change was our sleep schedule. For the first month we struggled to stay up until 9 pm! No alarm, slept until we were ready to get up. After a month we got bed time set in the 9 to 930 range. My wife decided she wanted to get up at 630 am so she sets an alarm and exercises for about 30 minutes then reads. Me, I generally sleep until 8 am.
It will be another 14 months before I start taking my Social Security, and 19 months for my wife, so we are living off savings until then. No pensions, just 401ks, IRAs and regular savings, so staying pretty close to home until then. I went on Medicare 3 months ago, my wife will next month, that will cut our health insurance costs by $1,000 a month, so we will have a bit more financial breathing room.
We are taking a road trip next week. 5 days. The good news is the car we are taking averages about 50 mpg. The bad news, gas prices have soared by 50 cents a gallon in the past week to about $5.58 a gallon at places like Costco and ARCO.
As for retirement, after 40 years of marriage we still like each other. Our routine is mostly puttering around the house and catching up on things that piled up over the decades. My wife is in the process of transferring 35 years of home movies from VHS and VHS-C to DVD, then uploading them to "the cloud". Also transferring tapes from our careers in TV to the cloud. Getting things around the house done. Put a french drain in the backyard. Took out the wood burning fireplace insert and put in an electric one. Replaced the HVAC system.
The pandemic has certainly cut back on our travel plans short term.
Funny about the head cook comment from the OP. Due to our work schedules I was the head cook for 17 years when our kids were growing up. When our youngest hit high school my wife and I both moved to the 3 am work schedule and she took over being head cook. But cooking isn't a chore for her, it is more of a hobby.
All is well. Enjoy your retirement.

 

[Micca]

Thought about starting a separate thread, but since we're all here....
When you talk about making meals, how many are actually getting raw ingredients, prepping and cooking food vs. warming stuff up? Because warming something out of a can, jar, box, or leftovers and actually cooking dishes
are very different activities.

I can understand how concocting actual meals three times a day would be a huge responsibility and how someone could be "over it" after years of doing it. OTOH, throwing a piece of chicken and a potato in the air fryer and setting the timer isn't much of an issue.

So are some of you actually prepping full meals one or more times per day? We almost never do that, and on occasions like holidays, DD usually cooks for us. Just curious!

 

[Meriweather]

Very few canned, box or jar.
I fix breakfast and dinner from scratch.
Like I said, DH eats leftovers for lunch and I have a sandwich and fruit

 

[disykat]

I feel so heard! Thanks for sharing snapshots of your retired life with me! It sounds like a lot of you are doing exactly what I envision. I feel a bit relieved just hearing life continues normally. It's surprising to me that I'm suddenly feeling nervous about what our new normal will be!.

I actually cook probably 4 or 5 nights a week. Reworking leftovers, going out, or heating up something super easy take care if the other nights. Dinner isn't gourmet, a lot of stir frys,sheet pan meals, one pot meals, etc, but it's definitely cooking. My siblings come to visit fairly often now since we moved mom near me and they seem to think I cook a lot!

 

[Simba's Mom]

DH retired 6-7 years ago. Before that he had a very stressful job, which involved lots of international travel (for weeks at a time) and in later years he was a plant manager, working about 60 hours per week. In other words, he wasn't home much. So being home, doing "house-y" stuff is fun for him. He does the grocery shopping now as well as makes dinner every night. And he's a good cook-he's made creme brûlée, spanakopita, has a notebook filled with recipes he finds to try. He doesn't mind doing housework-washing floors, dusting, etc. Not a bad deal!

 

[lovesmurfs]

DH's retired. I've been working remotely since March 2020.

We keep our own schedules and meals for breakfast/lunch, and I generally cook dinner. DH's schedule is much more regimented -- 8 a.m. for b'fast and sometime between noon and 1 for lunch. I wait until I'm hungry, so sometimes it's early, sometimes later. He also has the same breakfast every day, and has 2 different lunches he switches between. I'm much more flexible and change meals/sandwiches/soups based on what's in the fridge/cabinet.

Dinner: We do get Blue Apron 3 days a week, and now that the weather's cooler, I make a pot of something (chili, stew, etc.) on the weekend and we get a couple of meals out of it.

 

[tvguy]

I will add that while we aren't doing anything earthshaking in retirement, my wife and I both wonder how we ever found time to work.

 

[focusondisney]

Dh retires in two days. I am already partially retired. In our marriage I'm head cook. On Saturdays he imakes his own lunch just like he makes his own lunches for work. I've already broken it to him that I'm still only cooking one meal a day. He took it like a champ.

We have a road trip planned, so it'll be a while before we settle into a routine. I'd love to hear the scoop though. What do your days look like? Was it an easy transition? I only work per diem now and am keeping it open as to how much I'll work, but since we're going to be gone for most of October I have zero days booked after Friday. I'm starting to feel nervous about the unknown! We've been on such a roller coaster with family obligations and suddenly everything is clearing up and the future seems wide open.

So give me the good, bad, and ugly about retired life...but mostly the good!

My DH has been semi retired since Feb 2021. After working 55+ hours a week for most of our lives, he now works 2 8 hour days a week. I worked 2 12 hour hour shifts a week & retired this April. I had been busy with work & helping care for my mom since late 2019. I would spend 12 hour days or evenings with her twice a week. She passed away at the end of May. I feel we just started our retirement in June. With my DH still working part time & me still helping clean out our mom’s house we just make plans day to day.

As for meals, usually we get our own breakfast, he always has cereal & I just have some toast. Although most Sundays, I make something like blueberry muffins or Pillsbury cinnamon rolls. We don’t always have a real lunch, but usually figure something out for ourselves. Often it’s just fruit & nuts. Depending what we have in the house, we might make our own sandwiches or salads. Every once in awhile I’ll make grilled cheeses sandwiches or a pot of canned soup. Nothing elaborate & nothing I ever consider as cooking. I take care of dinner, both the planning & cooking. My DH has no clue about cooking & I’d rather he doesn’t start now, lol. Once a week we get some kind of take out & a few times a month we‘ll go out. I’d say I make a big made from scratch meal 3 times a week, things like pot roast, roast chicken or turkey, chili, stews etc. Other days it’s something easier, like steak or burgers on the grill, BLTs or pasta & jarred sauce. We’re also not above having frozen meals every couple of weeks either. When I was working, I wasn’t home for dinner, so DH would get take out or have a frozen Stouffers meal, we’d get take out once & go out once a week. So I only cooked a big meal once a week. For the first time I’m trying to actually meal plan. Some weeks it works better than others.

We have chores that we have each done through out our marriage, ex. my DH does the yard work, I pay the bills. I still do the majority of the shopping but he puts the groceries away after. I tend to do the majority of the housework on the 2 days he’s working. But if he’s home he works on it with me. He was great when my mom was declining & I was gone so much, I’d throw a load of laundry in before I left & he’d have it dried & put away when I got home. He’ll help with whatever housework needs done if he’s home.

We both have some health issues typical for people our age (& weight lol.). We’re trying to make some changes to address those & have been walking several times a week. We don’t walk together tho. He has much longer legs & walks faster than me. I have had plantar fasciitis several times & can’t walk as far as he does without causing foot pain/ strain that takes days to resolve. So we go on our walks separately. We’ve always enjoyed going to the movies & now go every Monday afternoon. Some days we just spend catching up on TV shows or watch a movie at home. We do have some day trips & other traveling we want to do but haven’t made too many specific plans for those yet. After 44 years of both working such demanding jobs, raising kids & then years of taking care of my parents, we’re just enjoying hanging around the house together.

Congratulations to your DH! I hope you both enjoy a long, healthy, happy retirement!!