"Retard" and "Retarded"

[princesspumpkin]

If only i could get my middle aged co-workers to stop using "gay" to describe stupid behavior. (and get my neighbor to pull ni**** out of her vocabulary)

 

[jocon]

Sorry to be ignorant, but of all these posts I don't recall anyone indicating
the proper term for some who is &^%^*(

What are we to say? He's "different", he's "slow"? You can see Downs and know what it is. What about all of the other things. Should we ask "what's wrong"

I don't want to start a debate about political correctness, but mentally retarded does not seem offensive to me. Tard and retard I can understand as offensive. Everyone has said what not to say, how bout telling me what is proper non-offensive?

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

Does anyone know what the correct term is to refer to people who are "mentally retarded" but do not have Down's Syndrome? Is there a term that is not offensive?

I mentioned before that my aunt and cousin are "mentally challenged." They don't have Downs. "Mentally challenged" and "mentally handicapped" are the terms used to describe them...in my family anyway.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

Gay is another no-no in our house if not used in the proper manner. Hate to say it but I have had to correct DS about the use of another gay term that starts with an "f". I won't even type that word. I swear their mother has no concern with what the kids are saying.

I think that would be a boy thing. I have nothing but girls here. I have heard the term *esbo used by their friends though.

I cringe - very visibly - around other people's kids when they use derogatory words around me and wait until I can get my kids alone to tell them why that's not appropriate. It takes all I have to not say something though.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

If only i could get my middle aged co-workers to stop using "gay" to describe stupid behavior. (and get my neighbor to pull ni**** out of her vocabulary)

I feel ya. My East Texas in-laws are bad about this. That is one word where my DH will tell them to watch their language. Just about everything else does a fly-by on him though.

 

[GEM]

I certainly understand that used as an insult or a joke the word "retarded" is offensive. No question! However, is the word itelf offensive if used in a legitimate way?

 

[sugarpie]

I work with a woman whose daughter has Downs Syndrome. Actually I just assume she has Downs Sydrome because she calls her a Mongoloid (sp.?). I know she's not trying to be cruel because she loves her daughter very much and doesn't seem a bit ashamed by her, she just doesn't know any better.

As with all hurtful words, it's the context that they are used that makes them hurtful. When I was a young child the word retarded was tossed around quite a bit & I had no idea what it really meant, when it really is a measure of a persons IQ & their adaptive functioning.

I have a niece who has learning problems & people have asked me what's wrong with her, because her speech isn't very clear. She's been extensively tested but I don't think they've ever come up with a label for what her problem is. When she was younger she was "developmentally delayed". To me she's just a very sweet little girl.

 

[JoyG]

I mentioned before that my aunt and cousin are "mentally challenged." They don't have Downs. "Mentally challenged" and "mentally handicapped" are the terms used to describe them...in my family anyway.

Thank you...adding those terms to my vocabulary.

 

[missypie]

You know, this got me to thinking (scary, I know), but there are other words out there too, that are not very PC any more.

The first one that comes to mind for me is midget. Now it's small person, I think? I'm just finding out about that and I'm sure I've offended someone along the way.

This is another one that kids through around carelessly. I think all 5' 1" of me has been called that a few times.

Yeah, maybe I need to research "midget." I always thought there were two types of little people - midgets and dwarves. But since I've been watching "Little People Big World", I've found that they consider "midget" to be a derogatory term. Shows what I know! (Of course, there are a lot perfectly harmless words that can be hurtful when shouted out a car window to a person in a hateful way.)

We tease my (very intelligent) DD13 when she has a "blonde moment" and she thinks it's funny, too. However, if a TEACHER made a "blonde" comment after she got an answer wrong, we'd all be upset.

 

[jrmasm]

Let's not forget "special."

Huh??

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

OP - I totally agree with your original post. My SIL taught me that, having worked with a sweet little boy who had Downs, and I have passed that down to my kids.

I have also learned, since my dear SIL became paralyzed, that 'handicapped' is not a very favorable term either. She prefers using the word "accessible" as in 'an accessible parking space'. She does use the word 'disabled', although I have heard to some people refer to it as 'less abled' - stressing the positive instead of the negative

 

[missypie]

Okay, from Wikepedia:

"In the 19th century, midget was a medical term referring to an extremely short but normally-proportioned person (e.g., with growth hormone deficiency), and was used in contrast to dwarf, which denoted disproportionate shortness. Like many other older medical terms, as it became part of popular language, it was usually used in a pejorative sense. When applied to a person who is extremely short, midget is now considered derogatory. The word dwarf has generally replaced midget even for proportionally short people, and the term little person is also sometimes used."

 

[missypie]

I have also learned, since my dear SIL became paralyzed, that 'handicapped' is not a very favorable term either. She prefers using the word "accessible" as in 'an accessible parking space'. She does use the word 'disabled', although I have heard to some people refer to it as 'less abled' - stressing the positive instead of the negative

I went to an Americans With Disabilities Act seminar years back and the speaker used a wheelchair. She referred to the rest of us as "TABs" - for "temporarily able bodied." This has always stuck with me, because one never knows what life will bring.

 

[sugarpie]

I always try to take all these politically incorect words with a grain of salt. The correct terms are always changing & some people just can't keep up.

I was at work & one of the young girls I work with used the term "colored people". I had just taken a drink & I literally couldn't help spitting it out. Everyone around started laughing & she didn't have a clue what was going on. She was 19 years old & had been home schooled in a very rural setting. She's a very nice girl but had lived a very sheltered life & that was the term her parents had used. I explained that people might take offense at this & gave her some acceptable words to use, but then it started a big discussion on what the correct term is these days.

I think it's easy to tell when someone is just being hateful & when someone is ignorant to the politically correct word to use.

 

[ZipaDeeDooDah]

I went to an Americans With Disabilities Act seminar years back and the speaker used a wheelchair. She referred to the rest of us as "TABs" - for "temporarily able bodied." This has always stuck with me, because one never knows what life will bring.

That is so true!

 

[SandrainNC]

I agree with the original poster! I absolutely hate it when people say those words. My son has Down syndrome and it physically feels like someone punches me in the gut when I hear it. I have had to say something to two people where I work (one an attorney and you would think they would know better - but they don't). I have jumped on my niece a few times and her mom pretty much tells her not to say it in front of me. Not, don't say it its wrong, just watch you mouth in front of me. It is just so wrong! One of my nephews also has autism with MR (mental retardation) and you would think having 2 cousins with special needs (and this is not an incorrect thing to say) would make someone think. But no, its cool to say it, so she is not going to stop.

Also, mental retardation is correct when used correctly. I have heard psychologist and others use it. Developmentally delayed or cognitively delayed are also used. I am very quick to correct people out in public if I hear them say it. One time and I usually blow it off, but they say it twice and I will say something to them.

Also, I would have got up in the middle of the dance recital someone talked about earlier and walked up on the stage if that would have happened while I was there. What are these people thinking??? Oh yes, they don't and that is the problem.

Sandra

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I went to an Americans With Disabilities Act seminar years back and the speaker used a wheelchair. She referred to the rest of us as "TABs" - for "temporarily able bodied." This has always stuck with me, because one never knows what life will bring.

That'll make you sit and think!

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

I think it's easy to tell when someone is just being hateful & when someone is ignorant to the politically correct word to use.

Unfortunately for a lot of people, those two run together, hand-in-hand.

 

[missypie]

Also, I would have got up in the middle of the dance recital someone talked about earlier and walked up on the stage if that would have happened while I was there. What are these people thinking??? Oh yes, they don't and that is the problem.

Sandra

LoL, because I actually went INTO the auditorium to see it! It was one of those all day dance competitions and we were grabbing a quick lunch in the lobby. I heard their music start in a muffled way - I assumed that it was "Let's Get it Started" but then I thought I heard the other version; I couldn't trust my ears (didn't want to!) so I stood at the back of the auditorium and there it was.

 

[MareQ]

I have seen the word SPED replacing RETARD in the local teens. It is used in the same way and with the same intent, just a new word.

YUP - yet another one. My Aunt uses that - think there's nothing wrong with it as it's a shortening of the phrase SPecial ED - WHO FREAKING CARES - it's still a horrible NAME IMO- don't call anybody a SPED and don't refer to them as the SPED kids or my SPED students @@