"Retard" and "Retarded"

[Am_I_There_Yet]

To be honest, this thread has just completely confused me as to what is and is not acceptable. It seems to vary greatly.

While I totally disagree with using these terms in a hurtful way, I think it is also wrong to find offense when none is being intended. I think most people can tell the difference.

To me the issue isn't so much older people not knowing the "PC word of the moment" or younger adults not agreeing on which term is appropriate; it's all about young kids/teens thinking it's okay to call someone or something a retard, or say that something is gay or retarded, when in fact they think it's stupid, or uncool.

Left uncorrected you get stupid adults.

 

[Am_I_There_Yet]

My DD8 is developmentally delayed. Our lovely neighbor (who is 13) refers to her as "that retard". Right to her face, my face ,the nannies face, my mothers face....etc. My brother and his family have become friendly with this family and don't see why we are a bit reserved about these people. They swear they have never seen this behavior. My daughter will cry and ask "Why is .......... so mean to me? I love her-she is my best friend...."DD has no idea what the heck is going on or why someone would be like that to her. This girl justifies her behavior by saying "it's true, so why shouldn't I say it?" I feel like saying "just because your ugly,fat and mean doesn't I should run around yelling that at the top of my lungs, does it?????" We have spoken to her mother about it and she just shrugs and says "kids are kid's-what can you do?" It's frustrating, painful and sad. My heart breaks to see my daughter treated like this.

Sounds like your lovely neighbor has idiots for parents. These are the exact people that I was describing in my prior post.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

Why on earth don't you call that brat out on it?

For real. She's 13 and knows better. Keep your daughter away from her.

 

[poohandwendy]

To me the issue isn't so much older people not knowing the "PC word of the moment" or younger adults not agreeing on which term is appropriate; it's all about young kids/teens thinking it's okay to call someone or something a retard, or say that something is gay or retarded, when in fact they think it's stupid, or uncool.

Left uncorrected you get stupid adults.

Oh, I agree with that. In my post, I was talking about the other issue being discussed here, people using terminology that some find offensive. Not in a derogatory way, but because they think they are using the right terms.

 

[milkabum]

What does telling "gangstas" to "pull up their pants" have anything to do with using respectful terms to identify children with Down syndrom, or those that are disabled or those that have cognitive delays? Am I missing the point you are trying to make?

Well, people like that (that I have seen, around school and such) are always using horrible words, or in this case misusing words. The pulling up their pants was just some added humour.. I thought anyways.

 

[SandrainNC]

I feel like saying "just because your ugly,fat and mean doesn't I should run around yelling that at the top of my lungs, does it?????"

You are a better person than me, because that is exactly what I would have said to the 13 year old. At 13 she should know better, but what you said about her parents just shrugging, that is the problem right there. She isn't told it is wrong and that she isn't to say that anymore, so why should she stop. That is the same with my niece. She is told not to say it in front of me instead of not to say it. So she constantly slips up. And I call her on it every time. I am getting to the point that if it happens again, and she is at my house, she will be asked to leave. My son is getting older and I am not going to have his own family hurting his feelings like that.

Sandra