restroom question

[Sugar Jones]

I don't think my dds should be made uncomfortable because you are uncomfortable with your 8 year old going to the mens room. My dds should be uncomfortable - I'm glad they're uncomfortable, because that means they've learned to trust their intuition, and realize something is not normal. Not that your ds is going to harm them, but I want my girls to know when something unusual is happening, and to question it, even if it turns out to be harmless. The same for my dss in the mens room - I'm hoping they've been going into public restrooms enough to realize when something is different (man looks at their genitals at the urinal), and react.

BTW, there are 2 seven year old boys at our school who have been threatening to show their privates to other 7 year old girls at recess, so they're not all that innocent (and when the parents were made aware, they inisited there is no way their ds would do that, of course). Having male and female 7 year olds, I get the whole scoop.

That's what I mean about everyone priorities being different. I'm not saying your wrong for not wanting your dd to be uncomfortable, and I'm sorry that it does make her uncomfortable. If there was another option I would choose it, however it most cases there isn't a family washroom option. I honestly do feel badly it may cause someone to be uncomfortable.

As for the school thing, well that goes both ways. Last year my son and his friend had issues with three young girls in his class that constantly chased him at recess and would hold him down to kiss him. They were in Sr. Kindergarten. They brought in a Child & Youth worker for 6 sessions to talk to the kids about inappropriate behaviour, how to handle it, who to tell etc....

 

[Sugar Jones]

Rather than making young ladies uncomfortable, why don't you just take your boys to the men's room? That would solve both issues. You could protect them from the boogeymen, and young women can feel safe in their restroom. a win win situation.

Your sarcasm is noted and greatly appreciated. However nobody will ever make feel bad or stupid for protecting my child.

 

[PoohBear]

I am so sorry OP. You should not have had to explain yourself private medical records to anyone. This kind of abuse and name calling on the DIS makes me very sad. Do what you think is best for your situation and your child and maybe everyone else will do the same. This board was started to help others not tear them down.

 

[Shock13]

If my 6 & 8 year old son being in a washroom has made your dd uncomfortable and unable to pee, I'm sorry. However IMO my son's safety TRUMPS your dd's 5 minutes of uncomfortableness.

For a young girl to feel discomfort while using a FEMALE restroom is unfortunate. Why should she feel awkward when she is in a place where she is supposed to be?

I've read that many posters say they wouldn't care if boys are in the restroom but I have to say that using a restroom to most people is a very private affair. To see an unattended boy among the stalls would bring many nervous feelings of this boy possibly being a peeker. Who would want a child to see them use the bathroom? Everyone's privacy should be respected and for some who say they don't see what the big deal is, they are not being respectful of other people's privacy.

 

[robinb]

Bearybear, I'm sorry that you have a medical issue but with that new information I think you need to reconsider your touring plans. Everyone needs a break, not just mom and dad. Your son will appreciate a mental rest and swim back at the resort even if he doesn't nap. My DH and I take turns on "pool duty" and napping/vegging out in the room. FWIW, my DD stopped napping at 4-years old, so I feel your pain. She is still more refreshed after spending a couple hours back at the resort and in the pool than if we tried to go "commando".

In addition, I don't know many 7-year olds could stand with their eyes averted in a busy ladies room outside of a bathroom stall for what you say could be an extended period of time. Heck, I'm way older than 7 and I would be bored to tears and I would squirm and my eyes would start to wander. You really can't expect your little guy to stand there stoically with his shoes in view for 20-30 minutes at a stretch can you? 4-5 times while you are alone with him? That's just not fair to him.

You don't need to eek out every single second of fun at the parks for your son. If he's like most 7-year olds he'd tell you that the pool is his favorite part of the vacation anyway .

 

[maxiesmom]

If my 6 & 8 year old son being in a washroom has made your dd uncomfortable and unable to pee, I'm sorry. However IMO my son's safety TRUMPS your dd's 5 minutes of uncomfortableness.

You know, if you take your child into the stall with you you it is the best of both things. You will know for sure your child is safe, and you will also ensure that everyone else's daughters are not made uncomfortable by your little boy.

I don't think doing that is too much to ask. That way both groups are happy and safe.

 

[Sugar Jones]

You know, if you take your child into the stall with you you it is the best of both things. You will know for sure your child is safe, and you will also ensure that everyone else's daughters are not made uncomfortable by your little boy.

I don't think doing that is too much to ask. That way both groups are happy and safe.

99% of the time we do use the same stall. However 4 of us in one stall is a tight fit.

Usually dd & I go in one stall, and the boys go in another. I have no problem peeing in front of my boys.

Since we were on a family vacation and dh was with us, I think I only had to take the boys to the washroom maybe twice because dh was on a ride with dd, but for most part they always went with dh. Which is the ideal situation. However for some families they don't have that option.

 

[wmharley]

No. Because they are handicap "accessable", not reserved.

Thank you

My son is 9 and you better believe it he won't go into a bathroom alone. Call me paranoid, but if my DH is not around he comes with me, and I don't care if people stare. When a kid gets molested in my local public library with their parent only a few rows away, what's to stop it while you wait outside the bathroom for them. I'd rather be overprotective then have a kid who's been molested. (as I duck and wait for the flaming to begin).

The earliest memory of a public bathroom i have was at Sears. The fam was taking some pics, so I had to have been under age 7 as my parents divorced afterwards.

needless to say, there were two people in a stall, actually 1 in each. i hear some mumbles a knock, I look back under the door (not directly, but from several feet away) and I see one guy get on his knees down and another guy get down and feel him up.

I left the bathroom and that image I still have. it could have easily been a perv in there trying come out and molest me. this was in the late 70s.

 

[TenderDonkey]

Diapers.

 

[Max Webster]

I think you need to take your 7 year old boy in with you while you are in the toilet. He could easily wander out of the ladies restroom while your in the stall. This way he can't go anywhere. I would suggest you have him turn his head while you do your business, otherwise he may have some unpleasant memoires WDW later in life!

Cheers!

Max

 

[Indiana Rose Lee]

I think you need to take your 7 year old boy in with you while you are in the toilet. He could easily wander out of the ladies restroom while your in the stall. This way he can't go anywhere. I would suggest you have him turn his head while you do your business, otherwise he may have some unpleasant memoires WDW later in life!

Cheers!

Max

The poor little guy would then be standing in a stinky bathroom stall for a half hour? I think that the poster who said take it easy, take breaks, and maybe find someone else to go along to make it easier.

 

[MissJanice]

My almost 7yo is definitely too old to go in the ladies' room and he let me know last trip. I told him what bench to sit on outside. I told him not to move or talk to anyone. And I told him where to go if there was trouble. (Yell for me at the door, come in and find me, or to the CM in the closest store.) And I defined what a problem was. He did great. And I don't have a problem sending him to use the mens' room alone. He does that at school all day by himself. He should know what's going on. Just my two cents! )

 

[Nancyg56]

This is the OP. My son will be 6 when we are in Disney, turning 7 shortly after we get home. He's in first grade. And I guess people are attacking me, so I need to explain myself.

I am sorry to have started such a big debate. I wish people would not attack others as if they know what other people are going through. If those who attacked me could walk a mile in my shoes, they'd be singing a different tune.

I think that 7 is still a little kid so I would have had no problem with him in the ladies room. 5th graders....sifferent story.

I know that it is hard to discuss the circumstances you are dealing with but my goodness! This sure does explain why you are worrying about how to address it.

Others have suggested breaks and I agree. You are going to be exhausted. I would also suggest heading over to the DISabilities forum to see if those folks have any suggestions for you. Those kind folks may have a solution.

 

[robinb]

The poor little guy would then be standing in a stinky bathroom stall for a half hour? I think that the poster who said take it easy, take breaks, and maybe find someone else to go along to make it easier.

Yeah, I suggested that she take him in the stall with her before I knew he would be standing there for 20-30 minutes up to 5 times in the period that he is alone with his mom. I just can't imagine that poor kid waiting for his mom in the ladies room for an hour or two a day (plus, all the waiting he'll have to do when his dad is around). I feel bad for the OP and her condition but I really think that she and her family needs to stick together instead of splitting up like they originally planned.

 

[gizfish]

Erin, I think you're on to something. I can understand when those moms who bring their older boys into the ladies room say that they are doing it for the safety of their sons. What I am failing to understand is why they leave them outside the stall while they relieve themselves . If safety is a #1 priority where better to have a older boy then right there where you can see him at all times? Wait for the handicapped stall if you need more room for your 5th grader. Unless ... ... the privacy and the comfort of the mom is an issue too.

Here is something to consider when deciding how old is "too old" for going into a bathroom designed for of a different gender. If a boy is too old to be in the stall with his mom (or, girl with her dad) while each does their business they are more than likely to be too old to be in that bathroom in the first place. Your fear for your son's safety may indeed trump my 6th grade DD's loss of privacy and feelings of awkwardness seeing a grade school boy in the ladies room but YOUR privacy and comfort does not. If you are taking an older child into a different gendered bathroom YOU are creating the situation and YOU need to suck it up and deal with your son/daughter in the stall with you ... all safe and sound. If you are too embarrassed to potty and wipe in front of your older son then you can be sure that there are other women and girls who are feeling the same way when they see him waiting outside your stall.

Well said. You may think 7 is young. I am personally uncomfortable having a 7 YO boy in the bathroom when I am there. It is a ladies room, and I believe I am entitled to it being populated with only ladies. You can call me a prude or whatever, but I do have a problem with older children of the opposite sex being in a bathroom with me. If you insist on doing this, than keep the child in the stall with you. If you are too embarrassed to do that, I am sure you can appreciate my feelings of discomfort having your son outside my stall. I would hope that a 7 YO (unless they had special needs which is a whole other story and would qualify you all to go use the companion restroom) would be able to obey Mommy saying You stay right there and do not leave. They manage to sit through school, etc. It is not unreasonable for a child of that age to stay put long enough for Mom to use the bathroom.

 

[okeydokey]

OP, he is YOUR first grader so YOU get to decide. Don't worry about this argument, it happens over and over and over on these boards. Have a happy trip!

 

[Beauty & the Best]

So many times have I seen little girls changing in the bathrooms and the thought of a young boy witnessing this makes me very uneasy. Especially since it is a female restroom.
Also, it does make me uncomfortable for a boy that old to be in there. If it doesn't make you uncomfortable then by all means, keep him in the stall with you. It will keep his wandering to a minimal too.

If you feel more comfortable (and I would) taking him into the ladies room that's okay. There's nothing to see in there anyway! We're all behind stalls. The worse thing he'll see is a baby getting a diaper change .

who cares if a kid of the opposite sex is in the bathroom! WE are talking about a bathroom here, not a locker room where you are walking around naked, right?
Even if they peeked under or between the door cracks, who cares?? I mean, I don't like peekers, but a peeker can be another adult woman, a little girl, whatever. What does it matter if it's a 7-year old boy?
I just don't know. I'm really modest and all that but a bathroom....really?? Locker room, that's another story.

I agree wholeheartedly. My son is 7 and comes into any ladies room with me when my DH is not with us. Better safe than sorry. There are doors on the stalls, so it's not like he's seeing anything. I really don't see what the big deal is.

I would just like to say that I have seen A LOT in wdw restrooms. Little girls doing business w/ the door open, women breastfeeding (not under a cover, as is their right), women and girls changing clothes and women in bras and children shirtless drying off their garments in the dryers, little girls running around looking for mommy w/ pants down.....So, I'm just saying that sure people pee w/ the doors closed (usually!) but boys in the restroom may certainly see something

Forget about the fact that a women's restroom should be a private place for women to do these things. I guess young girls and women should just consider their restroom unisex at disney.

This is the OP. My son will be 6 when we are in Disney, turning 7 shortly after we get home. He's in first grade. And I guess people are attacking me, so I need to explain myself.

My son is capable and able to go to the bathroom in the men's room by himself with me outside the door. However, he's not capable of waiting for me outside without wandering away. I have a disease that right now is not controlled, but the doctors and I are working hard to get it in remission. I have to go to the bathroom approximately 15 times per day. I have diarreah that sometimes makes me take a long time in the bathroom. My son knows to face the mirror and wait for me. He knows "mommy has a tummy owie" from his many visits to me in the hospital.

If I was bringing his best friend, who is a bit more mature, I'd let him wait outside. But after way too many near heart attacks looking for him, I just don't think I want to go through that again. If he is outside my stall and I see his feet start to move, I can say his name and he remembers he has to wait. He knows not to peek.

I am sorry to have started such a big debate. I wish people would not attack others as if they know what other people are going through. If those who attacked me could walk a mile in my shoes, they'd be singing a different tune.

Bearybear, it sounded like you had already made up your mind when you first posted so just do what you had planned to do anyways. I tried to tell ya about these threads!

 

[KellyNY]

Well said. You may think 7 is young. I am personally uncomfortable having a 7 YO boy in the bathroom when I am there. It is a ladies room, and I believe I am entitled to it being populated with only ladies. You can call me a prude or whatever, but I do have a problem with older children of the opposite sex being in a bathroom with me. If you insist on doing this, than keep the child in the stall with you. If you are too embarrassed to do that, I am sure you can appreciate my feelings of discomfort having your son outside my stall. I would hope that a 7 YO (unless they had special needs which is a whole other story and would qualify you all to go use the companion restroom) would be able to obey Mommy saying You stay right there and do not leave. They manage to sit through school, etc. It is not unreasonable for a child of that age to stay put long enough for Mom to use the bathroom.

I understand part of being populated by ladies, but 7yo boy is not exactly a gentleman as well, he is just a child.

 

[Cinderella94]

Diapers.

 

[missmun52]

do whats best for you, who cares what others think; i am sure alot of people would be more more protective of their kids if they could go back in time to prevent certain things from happening.