restroom question

[Bearybear]

This is the OP. My son will be 6 when we are in Disney, turning 7 shortly after we get home. He's in first grade. And I guess people are attacking me, so I need to explain myself.

My son is capable and able to go to the bathroom in the men's room by himself with me outside the door. However, he's not capable of waiting for me outside without wandering away. I have a disease that right now is not controlled, but the doctors and I are working hard to get it in remission. I have to go to the bathroom approximately 15 times per day. I have diarreah that sometimes makes me take a long time in the bathroom. My son knows to face the mirror and wait for me. He knows "mommy has a tummy owie" from his many visits to me in the hospital.

If I was bringing his best friend, who is a bit more mature, I'd let him wait outside. But after way too many near heart attacks looking for him, I just don't think I want to go through that again. If he is outside my stall and I see his feet start to move, I can say his name and he remembers he has to wait. He knows not to peek.

I am sorry to have started such a big debate. I wish people would not attack others as if they know what other people are going through. If those who attacked me could walk a mile in my shoes, they'd be singing a different tune.

 

[crzy4my2]

That just means they lock the perps in the school with your kids. They are far more likely (95%) to be assaulted by a known person than a stranger. As a teacher I would have thought they would have taught you that in some sort of training.

Nope..don't need to be trained as a teacher to Sub..just MULTIPLE (3) background checks and CORI's every year..along with the teachers...AND what I had quoted mentioned that the bathrooms were near the front door were anyone could walk in. I took it as anyone could walk in the school?..never said ANYTHING about teachers molesting the kids..and..at least in my kids schools..no adult is ever allowed in the kids bathrooms...I think that's why they are at the front, so the office can see who is coming in and out... in my opinion, maybe not everyones BUT I don't think a school is less safe then Disney

 

[TenderDonkey]

This is the OP. My son will be 6 when we are in Disney, turning 7 shortly after we get home. He's in first grade. And I guess people are attacking me, so I need to explain myself.

My son is capable and able to go to the bathroom in the men's room by himself with me outside the door. However, he's not capable of waiting for me outside without wandering away. I have a disease that right now is not controlled, but the doctors and I are working hard to get it in remission. I have to go to the bathroom approximately 15 times per day. I have diarreah that sometimes makes me take a long time in the bathroom. My son knows to face the mirror and wait for me. He knows "mommy has a tummy owie" from his many visits to me in the hospital.

If I was bringing his best friend, who is a bit more mature, I'd let him wait outside. But after way too many near heart attacks looking for him, I just don't think I want to go through that again. If he is outside my stall and I see his feet start to move, I can say his name and he remembers he has to wait. He knows not to peek.

I am sorry to have started such a big debate. I wish people would not attack others as if they know what other people are going through. If those who attacked me could walk a mile in my shoes, they'd be singing a different tune.

You should consider diapers. You really need to think about others. How dare you use a bathroom. Everyone knows every bathroom in the world is governed by members of DISboard.

 

[princessmom29]

This is the OP. My son will be 6 when we are in Disney, turning 7 shortly after we get home. He's in first grade. And I guess people are attacking me, so I need to explain myself.

My son is capable and able to go to the bathroom in the men's room by himself with me outside the door. However, he's not capable of waiting for me outside without wandering away. I have a disease that right now is not controlled, but the doctors and I are working hard to get it in remission. I have to go to the bathroom approximately 15 times per day. I have diarreah that sometimes makes me take a long time in the bathroom. My son knows to face the mirror and wait for me. He knows "mommy has a tummy owie" from his many visits to me in the hospital.

If I was bringing his best friend, who is a bit more mature, I'd let him wait outside. But after way too many near heart attacks looking for him, I just don't think I want to go through that again. If he is outside my stall and I see his feet start to move, I can say his name and he remembers he has to wait. He knows not to peek.

I am sorry to have started such a big debate. I wish people would not attack others as if they know what other people are going through. If those who attacked me could walk a mile in my shoes, they'd be singing a different tune.

This is NOT the situation you presented in the OP. How were we to know that there were extenuatinog circumstances involved if we were not told? YOu asked for opinions and got them based on the informaiton you chose to share. Those opinions might be different if the posters had all of the relevant information. I think that if you are going to be there that many times, for an extended period of time then yes I would take him in and do just what you are describing. We were all acting on the situation presented in the first post of a normal bathroom visit with a 7 year old child. In that case I do not feel that there is a need for the child to be in the RR with mom. You cannot lambast people for taking soemthing into account that they had no knowledge of.

 

[FlightlessDuck]

Seriously??!! Do you really think that of the 16 million people to visit WDW each year, there are only a few predators?

I didn't say that. I'm sure child molesters go to Disney.

I said it is easier to abuse a child somewhere else. With all of the undercover security at Disney, why would a child predator go there specifically to find a child when he or she can go somewhere with minimal security?

 

[princessmom29]

I just got an interesting idea. I see many say 7yo boy is too old and can go to the bathroom on his own. I wonder how many moms send their 7 yo girls to the bathroom on their own. I mean mom is outside talking on a phone and child enters bathroom, does her business and joins mom outside.

I do it all the time and have since DD was capable of wiping her own bottom and doing up her own clothes. Her father does the same.

 

[Cinderella94]

This is NOT the situation you presented in the OP. How were we to know that there were extenuatinog circumstances involved if we were not told? YOu asked for opinions and got them based on the informaiton you chose to share. Those opinions might be different if the posters had all of the relevant information. I think that if you are going to be there that many times, for an extended period of time then yes I would take him in and do just what you are describing. We were all acting on the situation presented in the first post of a normal bathroom visit with a 7 year old child. In that case I do not feel that there is a need for the child to be in the RR with mom. You cannot lambast people for taking soemthing into account that they had no knowledge of.

OP, I have ulcerative colitis so I can sympathize with you. Restroom issues suck. However, I have to agree with princessmom29 to some extent. People were only responding to what they had knowledge of, & you chose not to share your whole story in the OP.

 

[Bearybear]

This is NOT the situation you presented in the OP. How were we to know that there were extenuatinog circumstances involved if we were not told? YOu asked for opinions and got them based on the informaiton you chose to share. Those opinions might be different if the posters had all of the relevant information. I think that if you are going to be there that many times, for an extended period of time then yes I would take him in and do just what you are describing. We were all acting on the situation presented in the first post of a normal bathroom visit with a 7 year old child. In that case I do not feel that there is a need for the child to be in the RR with mom. You cannot lambast people for taking soemthing into account that they had no knowledge of.

I don't like to talk about my disease. And unless you happen to see the 7 inch scar on my stomach, you wouldn't know I was sick to look at me, so I didn't think people needed to know. I explained that my son is easily distracted, which is the real problem. The only reason my disease comes into this is because I have to go to the bathroom so frequently.

 

[Lees3rwe]

OP... I am sorry that you have these issues to deal with. I have a friend that has celiac disease which causes her pretty much the same symptoms.

Do whatever you need to do to make yourself feel safe and comfortable. Obviously, by the number of posts from people who do the same, your son won't be the only 6/7 year old in the bathroom. People really need to get over themselves.

 

[tlbwriter]

Given your medical issues, could you ask your husband to come with you, rather than resting at the resort, so your son doesn't have to wait through all of the bathroom trips?

 

[mjkacmom]

My son is 9 and you better believe it he won't go into a bathroom alone. Call me paranoid, but if my DH is not around he comes with me, and I don't care if people stare. When a kid gets molested in my local public library with their parent only a few rows away, what's to stop it while you wait outside the bathroom for them. I'd rather be overprotective then have a kid who's been molested. (as I duck and wait for the flaming to begin).

So how old does your ds have to be to use the mens room? I've heard horror stories of teens getting molested in the bathroom. Maybe the age of 18? How does your ds feel about it? Do you let him go to friends' homes? Baseball practice? Spend time with uncle Louie? Because he's MUCH more likely to get molested there.

Yes, bad things happen - maybe we should all stay home, and not take any chances. Because there are way more pediphiles and child abducters out there today, right? Not. I think we're much safer now than when I was a child, with more information and tools.

 

[Michelle and crew]

bearybear, you don't owe anyone here anything. While i am in the crowd of let little boys grow up, etc., i can see how your circumstances make it difficult. in the end you just need to do what you need to do, and realize that you can't make everyone happy.

i personally would probably start working with him, teaching him to sit and stay, lol. Then plant him on the bench. but, as I said, do what you gotta do.

 

[hereyago]

I think school is different. I would HOPE your DD's school doesn't just let anyone walk into it and hang out. The doors in the schools here(all the way to high school) lock automatically from the inside. Anyone cannot just walk into the kids school. They get buzzed in and they must go right into the office. I sub at the school and I am not allowed to just walk in anytime unless I am working...and their bathrooms are near the front door too.

This school does not have a buzzer. And her grade's hall bathroom was right past the doors. Then past that about 20 is the office. But yes, someone could come in when no one was in the hallway and go in there. And the office isn't facing the front doors, it's on the side.



You give the kids information on how to handle and recognize situations. Your kid could get molested by a family member or friend of family, etc while you are in the next room, trust me I know.

 

[princessmom29]

I don't like to talk about my disease. And unless you happen to see the 7 inch scar on my stomach, you wouldn't know I was sick to look at me, so I didn't think people needed to know. I explained that my son is easily distracted, which is the real problem. The only reason my disease comes into this is because I have to go to the bathroom so frequently.

I truly am sorry you are dealnig with this. I have IBS and I totally get it. Really, I do. That information is completely different than a child that is "easily distracted". A 7 year old should be capable of waiting for an adult outside a bathroom for a normal visit. In your case, I think it is asking too much of a 7 year old. the disease makes all the difference. When my IBS flares up, I have to have DD stand where I can see her feet, becuase I could be there half an hour. That is a completely different situation from having her wait outside for a quick pit stop.

 

[ZoZo]

This is the OP. My son will be 6 when we are in Disney, turning 7 shortly after we get home. He's in first grade. And I guess people are attacking me, so I need to explain myself.

My son is capable and able to go to the bathroom in the men's room by himself with me outside the door. However, he's not capable of waiting for me outside without wandering away. I have a disease that right now is not controlled, but the doctors and I are working hard to get it in remission. I have to go to the bathroom approximately 15 times per day. I have diarreah that sometimes makes me take a long time in the bathroom. My son knows to face the mirror and wait for me. He knows "mommy has a tummy owie" from his many visits to me in the hospital.

If I was bringing his best friend, who is a bit more mature, I'd let him wait outside. But after way too many near heart attacks looking for him, I just don't think I want to go through that again. If he is outside my stall and I see his feet start to move, I can say his name and he remembers he has to wait. He knows not to peek.

I am sorry to have started such a big debate. I wish people would not attack others as if they know what other people are going through. If those who attacked me could walk a mile in my shoes, they'd be singing a different tune.

My goodness, people can be mean. I say, do what you feel most comfortable doing, and don't worry about what others say. I wouldn't bat an eye at a mom bring a boy barely seven years old into the ladies room. Ladies rooms have individual private stalls -- it's not as though he's going to "see" anything!

I like your idea of having him stand in front of your stall door so you can see his feet- great idea!

 

[princessmom29]

This school does not have a buzzer. And her grade's hall bathroom was right past the doors. Then past that about 20 is the office. But yes, someone could come in when no one was in the hallway and go in there. And the office isn't facing the front doors, it's on the side.



You give the kids information on how to handle and recognize situations. Your kid could get molested by a family member or friend of family, etc while you are in the next room, trust me I know.

Yes, and this is actually the most likley scenario by far. Stranger molestation is a small, small fraction of cases. Most molestors go for the easy targets, and a chidl familiar to them is much less likely to tell. How many cases have you hear of where a child was molested by a stranger (not national media cases or urban legends, but children you know)? Compare that to the number you have heard about where it was someone they knew. Most of us probably cannot come up with a child we know molseted by a stranger, but can come u pwith several molested by family or friends. Even national efforts to prevent chidl molestation are steering away from the "Stranger danger" approach and focusing on being safe around people you already know.

 

[harpinjean]

Who knew people were so passionate about the great bathroom debate!! From a grandmother's point of view, I think 7 is still a little child. I would never leave my grandchild alone in Disney (or anywhere else) at 7 years old. I have never seen a lady raise her eyes at a 7 year old boy in the restroom. I would take him with you and have him stand right outside your stall. Good luck!

 

[Sugar Jones]

This is the OP. My son will be 6 when we are in Disney, turning 7 shortly after we get home. He's in first grade. And I guess people are attacking me, so I need to explain myself.

My son is capable and able to go to the bathroom in the men's room by himself with me outside the door. However, he's not capable of waiting for me outside without wandering away. I have a disease that right now is not controlled, but the doctors and I are working hard to get it in remission. I have to go to the bathroom approximately 15 times per day. I have diarreah that sometimes makes me take a long time in the bathroom. My son knows to face the mirror and wait for me. He knows "mommy has a tummy owie" from his many visits to me in the hospital.

If I was bringing his best friend, who is a bit more mature, I'd let him wait outside. But after way too many near heart attacks looking for him, I just don't think I want to go through that again. If he is outside my stall and I see his feet start to move, I can say his name and he remembers he has to wait. He knows not to peek.

I am sorry to have started such a big debate. I wish people would not attack others as if they know what other people are going through. If those who attacked me could walk a mile in my shoes, they'd be singing a different tune.

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel the need to explain yourself! You do what is best and most comfortable for you and your family.

Like I said I will bring my sons in with me until I am comfortable having them go into the mens room alone. They are polite, well adjusted boys who are NOT as someone said "snowflakes" @@ With as a board as large as this one you are going to get many different opinions. Some polite, some rude and judgemental.

If my 6 & 8 year old son being in a washroom has made your dd uncomfortable and unable to pee, I'm sorry. However IMO my son's safety TRUMPS your dd's 5 minutes of uncomfortableness.

 

[mjkacmom]

If my 6 & 8 year old son being in a washroom has made your dd uncomfortable and unable to pee, I'm sorry. However IMO my son's safety TRUMPS your dd's 5 minutes of uncomfortableness.

I don't think my dds should be made uncomfortable because you are uncomfortable with your 8 year old going to the mens room. My dds should be uncomfortable - I'm glad they're uncomfortable, because that means they've learned to trust their intuition, and realize something is not normal. Not that your ds is going to harm them, but I want my girls to know when something unusual is happening, and to question it, even if it turns out to be harmless. The same for my dss in the mens room - I'm hoping they've been going into public restrooms enough to realize when something is different (man looks at their genitals at the urinal), and react.

BTW, there are 2 seven year old boys at our school who have been threatening to show their privates to other 7 year old girls at recess, so they're not all that innocent (and when the parents were made aware, they inisited there is no way their ds would do that, of course). Having male and female 7 year olds, I get the whole scoop.

 

[Michelle and crew]

There is absolutely no reason for you to feel the need to explain yourself! You do what is best and most comfortable for you and your family.

Like I said I will bring my sons in with me until I am comfortable having them go into the mens room alone. They are polite, well adjusted boys who are NOT as someone said "snowflakes" @@ With as a board as large as this one you are going to get many different opinions. Some polite, some rude and judgemental.

If my 6 & 8 year old son being in a washroom has made your dd uncomfortable and unable to pee, I'm sorry. However IMO my son's safety TRUMPS your dd's 5 minutes of uncomfortableness.

Rather than making young ladies uncomfortable, why don't you just take your boys to the men's room? That would solve both issues. You could protect them from the boogeymen, and young women can feel safe in their restroom. a win win situation.