Resort questions... dh limited walking

[CrazedDisFan]

My husband suffers from degenerating joints in his feet and chronic knee problems. The left knee has had multiple surgeries and he is facing replacement. He is only 33.

Mobility is an definitely an issue.

When we went to Disney last year it was trying, he refuses to use a wheelchair. We stopped numerous times throughout the day and watched all the parades, etc., so he could rest. There were times when I wondered how we ever were going to make it back to the monorail or bus.

We stayed at the HIFS last year and the walk to our room was tremendous. By the time we got to the front of the hotel in the mornings, we needed to sit down for 20 or 30 minutes for his legs to rest.

On to the current issue...
I am going to be booking our next trip on Friday. Both he and the kids want to stay at the AKL concierge. Can anyone tell me about the distance he would need to walk at AKL?

Recommend a different hotel ? Any suggestions?

This is all so new to me. I feel bad asking these questions because I know others different abilities are far more limiting than dh's, but frankly I don't know what else to do.

He flat out refuses to use a chair or cane. He has been told by his surgeon that he will be fully wheelchair bound in 5 to 7 years. he refuses to even use his handicapped parking sticker.

Please help me plan a trip that won't be too taxing on him physically and me emotionally. I want to make plans and know things will be ok when we get there.

Thanks so much!

 

[Cheshire Figment]

My suggestion is one you and he don't want to hear and normally I would never make. Don't go.

The reason I made that suggestion is it will put YOU and the children in a situation that is intolerable. YOU will have the emotional distress that will go with his being unwilling to accept HIS physical problem.

I am not medically trained, but several others on this board are. More than likely they will suggest that he have counseling and/or some sort of psychiatric treatment so he becomes aware of how his actions are hurting you; which they are. At the very least have his surgeon explain to him how his refusal to recognize his constraints is hurting both you and the children.

 

[CrazedDisFan]

Thank you for your reply. I understand what you are saying and appreciate it. However, I am planning on takign our family to Disney again.

I am open to any suggestion regarding resorts that won't require excessive walking to the rooms.

Thanks!

 

[Mickiethepooh]

I agree with the previous poster. BUT, that being said I suggest you stay at the Contemporary in the Tower section, or the Grand floridian main buliding or the Poly but let special services know you need a room closest to the main lobby. any of these hotels will limit your walking as much as possible because you can take the monorail right from the hotel to either the Magic Kingdom or to the transportation and ticket center from which you can get anywhere in DW.
I also think you should rent a scooter in the parks. and if he won't ride on one because he is stubborn then when he sits down, just keep on going. and maybe he will come to realize he is spoiling every one elses time. and maybe it isn't all about him.
canes, wheelchairs and scooters are TOOLS nothing more they are tools to help you LIVE your life. they are not some admission of defeat. The sooner he learns that the better off you will all be.

Sorry, I am not trying to offend you. I hope the info was helpful but I had to add the personal comment. It really burns me when people use false modesty and act like there is something BAD about using whatever you need to to get the most out of life and causing your family pain in the process.

 

[CrazedDisFan]

"Sorry, I am not trying to offend you. I hope the info was helpful but I had to add the personal comment. It really burns me when people use false modesty and act like there is something BAD about using whatever you need to to get the most out of life and causing your family pain in the process."

I agree that he is not helping himself or anyone around him for that matter. I have attempted to explain saving steps now=the possiblity of more steps tomorrow. He is very stubborn and proud. Proud of what? I don't know. Everyone is different and there certainly is no shame at all in using any type of device to make one's life simpler. His problems are affecting those who love him and hopefully in time he will come around, hopefully before he is forced to.

Again thank you for the advice. I will be planning our trip and taking great consideration in those resorts you listed above. I truly appreciate the help.

I don't want to offend anyone, and I thank all of you for the advice on how to help my spouse, but I know all these things. He is driving me nuts. I am living with his ridiculous stubbornness everyday. It pains me to see him acting so foolish. It is really annoying, but at this time I can't do anything to aid him until he decides to help himself. I have yelled, screamed, spoken rationally, you name it, and right now that is all I can do.

I am going to plan our vacation and hope for the best. If he can't see past his idiocy and enjoy the vacation, that will be his issue. I will try to make it best for him, but once we are there he is on his own.

Any more hotel suggestions? Thanks again

 

[Earstou]

My suggestion is to make sure whatever hotel you stay at is aware you (or DH in this case) need to limit walking for health reasons and that they give you a room accordingly.
We stayed at the BC in May, and we were put in a room one away from the elevator. Last time we were at the end of the hall, but this time I didn't want to wear out just getting out of the hotel! Near the elevators was a noisier location, but much less stressful for me!
I understand your situation and can sympathize with you. My DH needs hearing aids, but refuses to get any (too expensive). I finally quit acting as his interpreter with the kids, but he still refuses. Nothing I can do about it, he's a grown man and I can't make him do anything! Even saying, you wear glasses, it's the same thing doesn't help-he just says glasses are a lot cheaper than the hearing aids he would need.
Hang in there, research the hotel to see what area would best suit your needs, than ask for that area for medical needs!

Have a good trip!!!!

 

[tinksfriend]

I keep trying to help with your question, and then go away again, as I certainly don't want to upset you!

Everything you explained in your original post, I've been through!! Every holiday/vacation was stressful beyond belief! My DH has MS and wasn't EVER going to use a wheelchair/scooter until absolutely necessary! I carefully planned trips, researched accommodation, travel, restaurants etc. you name it I knew about it! Everything was planned around 'the disability'! Then one day I woke up and 'smelled the coffee'!! Who's holiday/vacation was this? Answer, the WHOLE family's (we have 3 young children) Who was I forgetting? Answer, me & the kids!! So, what do I do? I changed the way I thought when I planned. I still research, you have to with any disability, but I look for ways to make MY life easier, stuff for the kids etc. I also 'put my foot down' at home! Whilst I understand my (and I'm sure your) DH's frustration in what is happening to his body, he must also see what affect it has & is having on his family! I 'gently' pointed out how much a Scooter would help him keep up with the kids. Wouldn't it be nice to see them do things, instead of being told 'second hand' what they'd been up to. I explained how 'stressed' I felt when he insisted on walking as I was just waiting for him to lose balance and fall! It took a while but we got there in the end! His quality of life, now he uses the Scooter everywhere we go, is so much better. For all of us!
Having said all that you still need help with where you are to stay. WDW have a Special Assistance Department. They would be best placed to help you with location at AKL. We are also staying there in Nov. in a Handicapped room. I'm afraid I don't know the phone#, but I'm sure somebody here will.
Remember, stay strong, girl! 'Gently' chip away at him, use the kids if you have to! It's your life too!

 

[Nanajo1]

Pixie Dust coming your way.

 

[Janet2k]

CrazedDisFan, I have recently broken my leg in three places and will still be in a cast and completely off that leg when my upcoming WDW vacation rolls around. Traveling to WDW for me will be a new experience this time, but with the help of my new friends here on the disABILITIES board, the experience should be a positive one. Thanks to their suggestions, I have recently been in contact with Disney and I now have a handicap-accessible room booked at the Grand Floridian resort. I have actually stayed in this type of room at a few of the other resorts (OKW, BWV, etc.), so I am familiar with what its layout should look like during my Grand Floridian stay. I still need to contact Disney in regards to my Beach Club Villas room (I am a DVC member so I should probably contact the DVC’s Members Services folks soon).

The Animal Kingdom Lodge is my favorite resort. I have had a room there three times (once on the fifth floor and twice on the third floor), and two of those stays were concierge stays. I would suggest that you contact Disney and tell them about your husband's needs -- that is, that due to mobility issues, you would like a room guaranteed on the sixth floor. A sixth floor concierge room would mean a very short walk to the concierge lounge, where your family could get drinks and snacks, and you would have easy access to the concierge Cast Members for any special arrangements that you might need to make. In my humble opinion, the AKL's concierge staff (and regular resort staff) is the best at WDW, especially a concierge Cast Member by the name of "Don D." (my family adores him). Once you have your room request in Disney’s system, then contact the resort's concierge desk directly and let them know of your husband's mobility issues, etc. They should be able to take things from there and point you in the right direction for answers to your questions.

Since you are new to the Dis, welcome! The Resorts board on the Dis (where I normally hang out) is a wealth of information in regards to all the WDW resorts (Swan & Dolphin, too). You should be able to post your more specific questions over there and get good answers from your fellow Dis'ers. Also, there is a Frequently Asked Questions thread over there specifically in regards to the Animal Kingdom Lodge: click here for the AKL FAQ thread.

If you have any further AKL questions, please feel free to PM (Private Message) me. I'll do everything that I can to help. Again, the AKL is my favorite resort. When I am staying there, I never want to leave...*sigh*...

 

[Talking Hands]

I totally agree with Janet that AKL Concierge is the best and they will do everything they can to accommodate your needs. My last stay there in March I had been placed in a room on the 5th floor a fair distance from the concierge lounge. When I said I would prefer 6th floor near the lounge so I could walk to the lounge instead off using my wheelchair they immediately changed my room to one right next to the lounge. Don is the best. Awesome person.

I was where your husband was and probably just as stubborn but I finally had to give up and get a scooter and then a power chair. Finally giving in gave my problems some needed relief and I am finally improving walking more and feeling better. I would still never try the parks on foot. The pain would be too much and I would hold my family back too much. Pride is a terrible thing. It makes us stupid. Good luck to you and your husband and a sprinkling of pixie dust.

 

[SueM in MN]

You've gotten a lot of good advice from people who have been there (while I was being quiet and trying to decide what to say).
I'm one of the "medical people" on the board that someone mentioned in one of the other post (besides being the mother of a multiply disabled DD). If I had some special pixie dust that would make your DH see how his disability and his inability to accept it is affecting other people, I would send a whole bunch of it your way. I would also use it on my FIL who has bad knees and hips - it hurts to see him walk or even get up from a chair. He has been "thinking about renting one of those scooter things" for the past 10 years. In that time, we have progresses from just "thinking about it maybe" to "seriously thinking about it", so maybe we are making some progress. We have pretty much stopped touring the parks with my MIL and FIL (although we do go at the same time and are often in the same park). That way, they can go at whatever pace they need to (he thinks he will slow us down, but we pretty much go at snail's pace). Actually, my MIL does a lot of "parking" FIL on a bench while she shops or sees things. There are rides/attractions that they have not seen in years because they are too much walking. Sad, but that is their choice.

Anyway, until he is ready, your DH is not going to do anything. A counsellor might help him started toward accepting his situation, but no one can take him there if he doesn't want to go. I remember reading in Annette Funicello's book, she said she thought she was hiding her MS symptoms (slurred speach, unsteadiness, jerky movement) very well until she read in the tabloids that she had been seen in a restaurant very drunk! Even then, she tried at first to explain her way out by making up imaginary injuries, until a reporter found out she had MS and was going to "out" her. That's what it took to get her to realize that her mental picture of herself as a fit and healthy dancer was not reality.

For the resorts question, we have never stayed at AKL, but we have gone there for a day visit and a meal almost every year since it opened. It is an awesome resort. One of the nice things for it regarding your families needs, is that there are lots of places to just sit and observe things. If your DH is having a bad day, he could stay at the resort and still have things to do and see.
Although the monorail resorts are awesome, I would not suggest them for anyone with trouble walking. Getting on and off the monorail at your resort is fine, but getting on and off at MK involves a walk up a long, steep ramp. There is an elevator at Epcot (I've looked for it, but never seen it, but other people have reported using it), but there is not an elevator at MK.
Here's the phone number for WDW Resort Special Reservations that was mentioned in other posts:
(407) 939-7807
(407) 939-7670 [TTY]

And here's a website that might be helpful, particularly the information about pacing yourself and tips for people with hidden disabilities. I'm not sure if the tips discuss fastpass, but that is a good way to avoid long waits in line.
The last advice I have to offer is to request a Guest Assistance Card (there is more info about them at the website above). Your DH can request one at Guest Services in any of the parks. The GAC is issued for your entire length of stay and is good for all the parks. He probably won't want to get a GAC (since you said he refuses to use his handicapped parking sticker), but he would be much safer getting on rides at the wheelchair entrance for those rides with moving walkways and stairs. Here's a thread that explains. The GAC is not for convenience, it is for your family's safety. After all, if he falls getting in a ride and is hurt, what about the kids and you? With people using fastpasses, using a GAC is much less noticeable to other people than it was before. And if he doesn't want to use it because he doesn't want to get any "perks", usually the wait is going to be the same. Often the accessible entrances are just before boarding, after you have waited in line with everyone else.
Anyway, here's some extra strength pixie dust for a good trip.