SueM in MN
combining the teacups with a roller coaster
- Joined
- Aug 23, 1999
- Messages
- 36,350
There was a recent thread which got very 'ugly' and was deleted because of different poster's reactions to what they thought other posters were saying when the original poster had written something meaning it to be a joke.
I am REMINDING people that it is VERY, EXTREMELY EASY to misinterpret what someone writes on a board like this. The same words can be read and interpreted in many very different ways, depending on things like:
If someone asks for information, it is helpful to have specific information about conditions or how things work.
It is not helpful to say things like "What do you expect them to do? Make a nice comfy room for you to wait the 5 hours (or whatever the line is) for you to wait while others stick it out in the heat and humidity, or to skip the line?"
EACH child/person with a disability is different and what works well for one may NOT work at all for another. That does not mean that anyone is doing bad parenting, most are doing the best they know how to do with their situation.
To take a purely physical situation, my youngest DD has cerebral palsy. Some people with cerebral palsy have only a bit of muscle weakness, are uncoordinated or walk with a limp.
Others have so much muscle involvement that they are not able to stand or walk and need a wheelchair to get around.
Some are able to propel their own manual wheelchair, some can drive a power wheelchair with their hands and some dont have enough control of their hands and use their head to control the power wheelchair.
NO ONE would be foolish enough to say that all people with cerebral palsy need to walk in line, just because some can. It would clearly NOT be possible for my DD to walk in line because she is not physically capable of even standing.
The same applies to other disabilities.
Just because one person with that diagnosis can do something doesnt mean others can.
Just because one person needs no accommodations (or the family choses to not use any) does not mean others will be the same.
So, in conclusion to all readers, DON'T ASSUME NEGATIVE.
If it's possible the poster may be trying to make a joke, it's safer to assume that and respond accordingly.
ALL of the negativity on most threads could have been avoided, if people had kept those things in mind.
I am REMINDING people that it is VERY, EXTREMELY EASY to misinterpret what someone writes on a board like this. The same words can be read and interpreted in many very different ways, depending on things like:
- - whether the reader 'knows' the poster (words from an unfamiliar poster may be interpreted as negative, where the same words from a familiar poster may not)
- - the 'mood' of the reader (if the reader is in a bad mood or under stress, it's easier to assume everything read in a negative view)
- - the tone of voice and body language that the reader assumes the writer was using. If everyone was in the same room together, tone of voice and facial expression would add VERY IMPORTANT information to the message that the bare words alone don't have.
If someone asks for information, it is helpful to have specific information about conditions or how things work.
It is not helpful to say things like "What do you expect them to do? Make a nice comfy room for you to wait the 5 hours (or whatever the line is) for you to wait while others stick it out in the heat and humidity, or to skip the line?"
EACH child/person with a disability is different and what works well for one may NOT work at all for another. That does not mean that anyone is doing bad parenting, most are doing the best they know how to do with their situation.
To take a purely physical situation, my youngest DD has cerebral palsy. Some people with cerebral palsy have only a bit of muscle weakness, are uncoordinated or walk with a limp.
Others have so much muscle involvement that they are not able to stand or walk and need a wheelchair to get around.
Some are able to propel their own manual wheelchair, some can drive a power wheelchair with their hands and some dont have enough control of their hands and use their head to control the power wheelchair.
NO ONE would be foolish enough to say that all people with cerebral palsy need to walk in line, just because some can. It would clearly NOT be possible for my DD to walk in line because she is not physically capable of even standing.
The same applies to other disabilities.
Just because one person with that diagnosis can do something doesnt mean others can.
Just because one person needs no accommodations (or the family choses to not use any) does not mean others will be the same.
So, in conclusion to all readers, DON'T ASSUME NEGATIVE.
If it's possible the poster may be trying to make a joke, it's safer to assume that and respond accordingly.
ALL of the negativity on most threads could have been avoided, if people had kept those things in mind.
) humour I have posted, and will continue to post if i feel i can provide any helpful information.
) as well as more important info...
