Remember when I asked advice about the fact that Roger doesn't communicate well?

[honeywolf7]

Well, while his phone in his shop was out I wrote him a letter. In it, I basically told him that #1) I didn't appreciate the fact that he didn't tell me in advance that he was going to have his phone line taken out to put another one in and #2) I worry when he doesn't show up when he says he will. I told him that he doesn't communicate well and that other than that he's "practically perfect." Well, ever since he got that letter he has done everything that he tells me he will do. He calls me first thing when he gets to his shop every morning. If he tells me he'll call me back when I call him or when he calls me, he does so. If he thinks he's going to be able to do something but he's not absolutely sure, he says "I'll probably do such-and-such, but if not I'll let you know." He never realized that his lack of communication was bothering me. So, I want to thank everybody who told me to speak up about this issue. I sometimes have a hard time asserting myself (and I don't honestly know that I would have been able to do this over the phone or in person, but doing it in a letter was easy.)

 

[kdibattista]

But don't you think with these issues you are having, you should REALLY, REALLY think twice about inking your body permanently with his initials. I really hope things work out but please just consider that... okay?

 

[honeywolf7]

The issues are over......He did what I wanted all along and he really is perfect except for that one complaint. Besides, like I've said they're not just his initials.....I would not get his name, but since his initials are the same as mine I don't think it's a big deal.

 

[AirForceRocks]

1) I agree with everything that kdibattista said.
2) I personally would go absolutely mad raving insane if my DH were calling me all the time to inform me of his whereabouts or if he expected me to do that for him.

Perhaps you should consider taking the money you would spend on a tattoo and buy Roger a GPS transmitter...

 

[honeywolf7]

So, AFR, you wouldn't have a problem if your husband told you he'd meet you somewhere and didn't get to show up (because of other obligations....for instance, work) and also didn't let you know???? That's what I had a problem with with him.

 

[AirForceRocks]

So, AFR, you wouldn't have a problem if your husband told you he'd meet you somewhere and didn't get to show up (because of other obligations....for instance, work) and also didn't let you know???? That's what I had a problem with with him.

Since we have children, we don't "do" meeting someplace - we either go together or we don't. If that were to happen, I certainly wouldn't lay down rules about him calling when he got to work, etc., like you have.

But hey, to each his/her own!

 

[Saffron]

Good new Becki! I'm glad it worked out for you. In my opinion, communication and trust are the foundation to a good relationship. Good to hear you have both now.

 

[honeywolf7]

I didn't lay down rules about him calling when he gets to work (he started doing that himself.) The rule that I laid down was "If you tell me that you're going to come over and you find that you can't make it, you need to tell me."

 

[Beauty]

I'm a letter writer too Becki! I don't think its too much to ask for him to call you if he had told you he was coming over and then doesn't. I mean if your cooking for him or whatever he owes you a phone call.

John always calls me when hes going to be late, not because I make him or because I demand it but because if hes late I worry. I mean it doesn't take 1 minute to call and say "hey I'm working late and will probably not be home until......."

For example right now he just called because hes been in the woods all day hunting and its getting really late....he just called to tell me where he is. I think its just simple respect for the person you love/loves you.

 

[AirForceRocks]

I guess I'm just not that obsessive, but as I said, to each his/her own.

 

[Serena]

You did good Becki. Yes, I suspect some of that will relax a little in a short time. He is just trying to impress you.

 

[shortbun]

Glad the communication thing worked out.
How about a butterfly or shooting star?
Something to symbolize your powerful love
or the freedom this new love has given
you to be yourself!? BTW, my husband
often lives in a parrallel world BUT, if he's
going to be really late or plans have
changed that relate to me...he calls.
It's common courtesy, not obsessive.
That being said-days go by that we do not
talk until we're face to face at home. His
reliability gives me total freedom to do as
I please. We are both happy and independent.
I am madly in love BUT not only would I NOT
tattoo his initials on my body - I don't share
his name either. None of that is about how
much you care. Love, trust, kindness - those
are good indicators.

 

[missymouse3367]

I'm glad you got the communication rules laid down. When you get the tatoo put on have it put on knowing that your childrens initials are on there and not Roger's.