I've been thinking about this a lot lately, too. It's sort of hard to figure out... I was raised kind of Christian. No particular denomination, didn't go to church very often (but when we did, they were most likely Baptist) but we read the Bible and learned about God and Jesus and sometimes had books and such that were written with a Christian slant. But it just wasn't a huge thing for us. We weren't big on serious religion at all.
I prayed, sometimes. At first, I didn't pray at all -- didn't think it was important. Then I started praying for relief from nightmares, and it became a ritual. Just praying for selfish stuff at first, but then I started praying to say thank you and to keep my family safe. I was maybe eleven around then, and a little later I got REALLY into the idea that Christianity was the only way to not go to Hell. That really wasn't a very good time for me... the whole year sucked, and then I was paranoid, absolutely paranoid, worrying about whether the rest of my family was 'religious enough' to go to Heaven. (I was also paranoid about people I knew dieing.) And I don't know where I got these ideas, but I wasn't reading the Bible or going to church and had no idea about anything. It just scared me so much, and I wasn't happy at all. That's NOT what I think religion should be about. Religion, no matter what denomination, should be about finding peace. That's what I believe.
But thankfully, after a while I just eased up. But as I started thinking more about things, and learning more about other people and religions and starting to break away from what I'd always thought about religion just left me wondering. Right now I'd place my religion solidly in the 'confused' area. I DO believe in a higher power. God, The Other, Allah-- whatever. (And Jesus. I think he was real, and a great guy. Quite possibly the son of God.) I really do believe. But it's that humanity's religions are just too confusing that causes the problems-- so many people believe absolutely that they're right, and thus everyone else is wrong, and that just doesn't jive with me. What I REALLY think is that, yes, there IS a God, but... I don't know, mistranslation or a desire for togetherness gone horribly wrong or just people trying to get in touch with the spiritual side of things are responsible for all the different paths to getting near God. And I think that my idea of religion can be summed up best by that quote (paraphrasing here, but) "Religion is just many different windows looking onto the same light."
I like that. I can't bring myself believe that so many people are doomed for not believing [insert dogma here]. Believing in a religion isn't hard, in itself, but thinking about how much conflict there is over the nature of God, what God wants/needs/demands from his children and/or followers raises red-flags. I'd like to know why, but therein lies the problem. I can't, in good conscience wholeheartedly believe a given religion and denounce another 'just because.' What makes one right and the other wrong? I can't understand that.
But I very much admire religious people. Not the extremists or jerks who just use their faith to shove agendas onto other people's lives, but the people who love God and are faithful, have a good relationship with the divine that makes them happy. I feel so glad for those people; they're very lucky to have something to believe in, that gives them hope. But I'm still wondering, trying to figure out what would be the best way for me to express what I believe.
I'd still probably put 'Trekkie' on a form asking my religion.
(tl;dr, I know. Sorry.)
i don't know...
